[FLUTTERRAPE] A Company of Reapers

>Day n/a in Equestria
>Well.
>Here you are again.
>Why do you always get the crap jobs?
>Suppose it can't be helped. You're not very high up on the corporate ladder.
>Pull out a picture from your sleeve
>Look at a Pony, Male, a happy look on his face.
>Turn it over
>"Ponyville. He will be crushed by a roof-beam"
>Aight. Coo.
>Set off down the road into town
>Watch Ponies go too and fro, completely oblivious to you
>You're not too keen on this world
>It's weird. You prefer Humans
>Hell, everyone prefers Humans. Humans are awesome to deal with after death.
>Ponies are just downright depressing or far too friendly.
>Humans are a goldmine of emotions, you even got attacked once. That job was fuckin' great.
>Lost in thought you walk into a pony
>It passes through you then stops
>You turn to look at it
>It rubs it's head and shivers, then picks up the pace and moves on with a big smile.
>See? Weird! A Human would have felt the shiver, thought it was either God or Aliens, gone home and either repented his sins then turned to God, or barricaded himself and his family in the basement for weeks on end.
>Ponies are weird.
>Not like you can get off saying things like that
>Your job is hardly normal.
>Pass another employee, a Pony
Oh, hey Sunslice
>"Hey, Anon. You here on that Derelict Building job?"
Yeah. Gotta be there in 15 so I can take my time I guess
>"Nice. Good luck, and see you around"
You too.
>Ponies aren't all bad, you suppose. But they're still weird.
>Everyone can get the same job as you though, from all walks of life.
>Anyone can just take the job and become Death
>Which is what you are.
>You are Anon - Grim Reaper.

1/17

>Stroll through town and come to a house
>Damn, it really does look derelict
>Walk through the door and look around
>Hear tools and voices on the upper level
>Drift upstairs and find the source
>Ahh, there's your guy
>A Pony is grinning as he saws a piece of wood, chatting to another pony as he goes
>"This house is gonna look great when we've fixed it up."
>The other one speaks
>"Sure will! I can't wait to show it to the kids once it's done"
>Look at your watch
>One minute to go
>"Ok, I'm gonna try and hammer this wood in, watch the ladder"
>He clambers up it and begins banging away at it without any kind of skill, missing the nail every time
>Look above his head
>Yeah, there's the beam, getting weaker with each impact
>He bangs it one final time
>"Done!"
>The beam falls

>30 minutes and a sickeningly boring conversation of "Oh, it's ok. I understand!" later you see the spirit on his way.
>He wanted to move on, rather than work at the company.
>You don't see the point, really.
>You get to see the world, several worlds even.
>You don't go hungry, or anything for that matter
>Hours are good, interesting work.
>Immortality.
>Get to see what happens to your planet after you're gone and see if the world ends shortly after
>Never does, apparently. Unless you're from that planet on the outer rim of the galaxy
>Got eaten by a void-beast
>Company got over 6 billion souls to deal with after that.
>Rough week.

2/17

>You lean against a tree and take in the view
>It's a nice world, and all. But it's just so...
>...Nice.
>Too nice
>No massive problems ever occur here
>Not like on Earth, which was voted Stardate 30,000,000's Most Action Packed World.
>So many stories on that world. So many things to see
>With ponies it's just half an hour of "Oh, well that's a shame I guess I'll move on then."
>See a familiar shape float up the hill
>Nod at him when he sees you
Sunslice
>"Anon."
Your job go on ok?
>"Yeah, old age as usual. You're lucky to get workplace deaths. It sounds so much better than Age or Disease"
>Age or Disease is the largest and most active part of the company, most new employees start there.
Don't worry, man.
>He raises an eyebrow at "man"
You'll get promoted in a couple of decades.
>"I hope so. I love the job and all, but I would kill for something more fun. Even just once to spice things up"
>Pat him on the head
Keep it up, Sunslice. You're a good worker
>"So what are you doing now?"
Ehh, I'm on break. Might take a look around. Never been in Ponyville before. See you around?
>"Sure, have fun!"
>Ponies and their fun
>Take your leave and head back into town
>You got about 5 hours to kill before your next job. Hopefully something interesting will happen before then.

3/17

>You are Twilight Sparkle
Ok, Spike. Remember, tell no one. This is strong magic.
>"You know I won't, Twilight. Why do you keep telling me?"
I'm just nervous. It's not every day you get a book like this. And I'm not sure the stuff in it is... Legal.
>"Why, what are you going to try?"
This spell here
>Motion a hoof to a spell surrounded by depictions of skulls and exclamation marks
>"Really? The most creepy looking spell in the whole book?"
Nah. This isn't the creepiest. The Creature of Unfathomable Pleasure probably gets that award
>Giggle as you make a note of that page in your head for later
Ok. Lets go.

>You are Anon again
>Walking through town you get a strange feeling coming from the large tree in the middle
>Odd. You haven't felt uncertainty since you started this job 400 years ago
>Decide to check it out
>Walk through the walls and take note of the locked door and closed curtains
>A unicorn and a dragon whelp are stood next to a book
>The unicorn is casting a spell
>That must be the source of the feeling
>Also odd. You've never had this effect from any kind of magic. Even when the Warlocks of Ferrer dragged their own planet into the sun.
>You're glad you got your ass out of there in time, powerful magic or not, nuclear fusion hurts like a bitch.
>The unicorn strains and struggles
>You chuckle
Ohhh little one. What are you doing?
>Suddenly the spell takes an unexpected turn as the purple aura around her horn goes black as night

4/17

>If you felt uncertain before, now you're terrified
>What the hell was in that book?
>You try to escape but find yourself rooted by some unseen force
>The magic flairs up even more and you are hit by a violent arc of magic straight from the unicorn
>You fly backwards and hit the wall
>You hit the wall. You didn't go through it.
>Why did you hit the wall?
>WHY DID YOU HIT THE FUCKING-
>"Woah, who are you?"
>The whelp is looking at you with eyes the size of saucers
>The unicorn looks just as shocked
>Oh god no
>She didn't.
>You were told this would never happen
>"H-hello, sir. My name is Twilight Sparkle. Errr, what did you see?"
I saw everything
>Stand up and walk over to her
>This is serious.
It's very important that you send me back right now. I have a very important job I need doing.
>"I- um. Well, see. Uhh"
Just reverse the spell. Works every time.
>"It's not that simple! This spell is the only one of it's kind. Which is why I decided to try it out. It can't BE reversed!"
>Stare at her
>She looks back, trying to avoid your gaze
>The dragon is scratching his head
>"I don't get it. Who are you again?"
My name is Anon and I have a very important job. I don't care what you do, you WILL find a way to reverse that spell.
>Turn and walk out the door
>Look around and feel the wind on your face
>Fuck's sake. This is the last thing you need, the boss is gonna be pissed.
>All 1,000 of him
>Fucking Hydragonians.
>Walk to where you were leant against the tree before and sit down
>Run a hand through your hair
>How can this get any worse?

5/17

>"Umm.. Excuse me... W-what are you?"
>Lazily look over at the voice
>A yellow pegasus is looking at you through her hair
>She's pawing the ground nervously
>"A-are you an angel?"
>Laugh
No, quite the opposite, my dear.
>"Oh... Ok."
>Look back at Ponyville
>2 minutes pass when you look back at her
>She's stood staring at you, drooling slightly
What? Is there something on me?
>Start stroking your face, searching for any problems
>"N-no, nothing at all. I just umm..."
>She blushes
>"Y-you're beautiful"
>What.
What.
>She shies away
>Sigh
Go on. What's your name?
>"I'm Fluttershy"
>FlutterSHY
>No shit
Well, Fluttershy. It was very nice to meet you. Now leave me alone

6/17

>"O-oh I can't do that! You need somep0ny to look after y-you!"
I'm quite capable of looking after myself.
>"Just look at you... So cold and frightened of this big scary world... Just like me! We have so much in common!"
>She's adopted this unnerving smile
>Her wings are unfolding slightly
>"Why, you won't even last the night! You poor thing."
Stop it.
>"D-don't worry. I know you're scared. But just come back with me to my cottage and you'll be safe. I'll make you some nice soup."
>At those words, you feel hungry.
>400 years of hunger, to be precise.
>Jesus Christ it hurts
>Sidenote: You actually met Jesus. He went far in the company. Hell of a nice guy.
I'm not going anywhere with you. I'm going to get some food.
>"B-but I can make you some"
Look, I'm sure you're very nice, but right now you really need to give me some space and just leave me alone. I'm not interested in whatever sick fantasies you have planned out.
>Walk away from her
>Here her stammering
>"B-b-but we're made for each other!"
>Fucking creep
>Pass a cafe and sit down
>The ponies around you eye you nervously
>So they should
>You're 6 foot tall, have skin as white as flour and are dressed in a black cloak
>You WOULD have a staff but those are only reserved for executives and senior members.
>You're one promotion away from being one, this job was actually going to get you that promotion.
>Though you're not sure about the other "perks" of being a senior member.
>You lose all flesh and muscle and turn into a walking skeleton
>Shit looks uncomfortable.

7/17

>A waiter slowly walks over
>He's visibly shaking
>"C-can I t-take your order, S-sir?"
>These ponies and stuttering
Yes. I'll take a grass burger and some fries.
>"C-certainly Sir"
>He gallops back indoors
>Sigh
At least something interesting happened today...
>"I'll say!"
>Look up
>A bright pink pony is sat in the chair opposite you
And you are...?
>"I'm Pinkie Pie! And you're new around here! So I gotta show you around Ponyville!"
I already know my way around Ponyville
>Her ears droop
>"You... You're not new here? But how could I have missed you? I know everyp0ny in town"
>She slams her head on the table and starts slapping the back of her head with her hooves
>"Stupid stupid stupid!"
>You feel like you should intervene, but you're so bored you'll take anything as a bit of entertainment.
>A normal man would say that you should be excited to be technically alive again
>But life sort of loses it's appeal after you've watched the death of entire planets
>Kinda puts things into perspective and makes all the little things seem pointless
>She keeps banging her head
>See her forehead going bright red and the other ponies in the cafe are looking at her in a shocked and confused manner

8/17

>Check your watch after 10 minutes
>She's still going
>"STUPID. STUPID. STUPID. STUPI-"
Stop.
>"Ok!"
>She snaps back into an upright position, the red marks gone and her smile returned
>That red mark shouldn't have just gone like that
>Oh, she must be a Reality-shaper
>Rare and powerful beings, those things.
>They're often...
>Pinkie Pie is licking an icecream from across the cafe with a 10ft tongue
>...Perculiar.
>The last one you ran into was able to see Grim Reapers in their spectral form
>The executives went nuts trying to figure out if lifeforms were evolving to see Reapers or if it was just him.
>They wouldn't stop screaming about Fourth Walls for months
>Pinkie Pie watches your face carefully
>"Sooo... What's with the getup?"
You mean my cloak?
>"Your everything"
What do you mean?
>"Your species is unknown to Ponykind, Your skin can't be that colour naturally and can only go that colour from lack of sunlight over a massive period of time, but the fact that you're here now means you must go outside often since you have an air of confidence I haven't seen before, it's almost like you're bored with life and have seen it all before, also your cloak is made of a strange and eerie substance that I can't identify, if I had to guess i'd say you weren't from this world."
>Well. That caught you off guard
And you would be correct, Pinkie Pie
>Grin at her
I am Death itself. The Grim Reaper
>"Oh ok."
>She stares at you blankly
>Stare back, shocked
>"Was kinda hoping you were an alien"
>Gawp for the first time in 2.5 centuries
>"Ah well. I can work with this. So, you want me to show you around?"
S-sure
>Holy shit this pony.
>Fucking Reality Shapers

9/17

>Forget your burger entirely, much to the joy of the cafe customers and staff, and follow Pinkie
>"Aaaaand this is my house!" She says after a grand tour of every single spot in Ponyville
>Check your watch
>She did this in 10 minutes
>Her blatant disregard for the laws of reality would make the League of Shapers have a fit
>Thank gods it's not your problem.
>"Wanna meet my friends?"
>She wiggles her rear in the air playfully and grins at you
>Not like you're going anywhere anytime soon
Sure
>"Great! I'll go get them!"
>Blink
>She's stood infront of you beaming with 5 other ponies, 2 of which you've already met
>Oh yeah. The League is going to go mad when they hear about this one.
>"Soooo this is Applejack!"
>"Uhh, hi."
>"This is Rarity!"
>"My my, what fabric is that?"
>"This is Rainbow Dash!"
>"Do you even sunbathe?"
>"This is Twilight!"
Go anywhere in your research?
>"No... Sorry..."
>Unfazed, Pinkie Continues
>"This is Fluttershy!"
>"Hello again Anon"
5ft distance minimum, Fluttershy.
>"AAaaand this is Pinkie Pie!"
>"Hi Anon!"
Hel-
>Pinkie Pie falls over, she was cardboard.
>The real one is on your head as a warm, fluffy pink hat
>"So waddya think, Anny?"

10/17

Never call me that again.
Rarity and Applejack, it's lovely to meet you.
>Rarity smiles and bows slightly before you
>Applejack lifts her hat up and scrutinizes you
>"Hmm... Ah don't trust him"
>The other 5 gasp
>"What? Ah don't. He looks strange."
>Twilight turns on her
>"AJ! Haven't you learned anything from Zecora? Never judge a book by it's cover! I bet Anon is a gentle soul underneath that harsh looking exterior."
I'm the Grim Reaper, Twilight.
>"...Oh."
And Applejack, I agree with you. I wouldn't trust me either. That's quite a good judgement you've got there
>Smile at her
>She smiles back
>"Oh, alright. Ah suppose you're not all bad. Even if you are the spirit of death"
>Her face darkens
>"You ain't come for mah Granny, have ya?"
Nope
>"Great!"
>She flashes a smile then trots off
>"Ah was workin' when Pinkie stole me. So I gotta get back. Nice meetin' you Anon!"
You too!
>Turn back to the other 5
She's nice.
>Rarity speaks up
>"Anon, what IS that fabric? I just can't place a match!"
>Look at your cloak
>You'll admit. It's a disturbing substance, but you can't leave her hanging
This cloak is made of Destoromite. It's a rare and indestructible material taken from the insides of dying stars. It's technically not a fabric, it's a complicated weave of nano-fibres that gives off the illusion of fabric. Despite it's nature it's a lightweight material that can absorb pretty much everything from water to fire and deadly radiation.
>"Ah, I thought as much"
>OK WHAT THE FUCK.
Seriously?
>"I'm a fashion expert, darling. It's my job to know these things"
>All you can do is stammer for words

11/17

>Rarity bids farewell and strolls off
God damn.
>Twilight speaks up
>"Hello again, Anon. Listen, I'm going to give my notes to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna to see if they can help"
Sounds good. Let me know if you get anything.
>"Will do. Bye!"
>She teleports away
>Pinkie Pie gasps
>Shitting fuck you forgot she was lying on your head
>She's lighter than air
>"I LEFT THE OVEN ON!"
>Then she's gone, disappeared quicker than Twilight did.
>You make a note to file a report to the League when you get back. They'll want to know about this before it gets any worse.
>That leaves you and...
>Oh.
>"S-so umm... Are you going to take me to heaven, mister death?"
There's no such thing as heaven.
>"Oh... Are you going to strike me down with your long hard staff?"
I don't get a staff until I get a promotion.
>"Oh... Are you going to tell me your fetish?"
My what now?
>"Y-your fetish... Everyp0ny has one. If you guess it, then you can love that person forever and ever!"
And you love me because....?
>"We're made for each other!"
I'm an immortal spirit of the afterlife.
>"I'm the living embodiment of a powerful and ancient magic"
I've lived for over 400 years and have witnessed the death of an entire galactic empire
>"I once saved Angel from a falling twig"
I have seen the processing of thousands of souls, and watched an untold number of lifeforms be born, grow old and then die.
>"I can do this"
>She turns around and presents her vagina
>It doesn't phase you
>She winks
>That does
Fucking hell, Fluttershy. Do you do this with everyone you meet?
>"Only the ones I love"
And how many people is that?
>"Just you"

12/17

Oh.
>You both stand there for a while
>You have long since transcended the need to feel meagre feelings like "awkwardness" and "sympathy"
>That was a lie
>This is awkward as fuck. You can actually smell spaghetti in the air. You weren't even aware they had the stuff on this world. But you can definitely smell Ragoo
>"A-are awkward pauses your fetish?"
Shut up
>"Are ponies your fetish?"
Shut up.
>"Are-"
I DON'T HAVE A FETISH, WOMAN.
>"what-man?"
>Feel a vein bulge
>You miss being dead
>Turn around and just walk away
>Hear her run up behind you
>"Wait! Don't leave! I'll get there eventually!"
>Walk around all day. Fluttershy trying to guess your fetish the entire time
>You haven't felt rage like this in a long time.
>Your fists are clenched and you're grinding your teeth so much you fear they might crack under the pressure
>"Is anger your fetish?"
>Fall to your knees and throw your head back
>Scream at the heavens for about 15 seconds
>Fluttershy cowers in fear
>Thank gods for that, she might leave you alone now
>Stand up and carry on walking
>Everything is peaceful
>Just you and this... nice... little town
>Nothing to be mad about, Anon.
>Just hold on until Twilight finds the fix for this mess

13/17

>Then there's the boss
>He's gonna be pissed. You were meant to be at a job 3 hours ago.
>If a spirit is left unattended for too long it results in a haunting.
>Once a place is haunted it's out of the Company's hands. They're stuck on that world out of your reach, only when mortals band together and exorcise them can they move on.
>Some of them take 100s of years to exorcise
>Shudder to imagine 100 years of being stuck in the same place
>Unable to rest
>Unable to eat or sleep
>Your death replaying in your mind over and over again for a century
>An existence of pure suffering
>"Are deep thoughts your fetish"
>Yeah, kind of like yours now
Turn around and raise your fist at Fluttershy
>She squeaks
>"L-lovers d-don't h-hurt each other!"
>She's trembling violently, waiting for you to hit her, but holding her ground
>She's got balls, you'll give her that.
>You're not exactly the most comforting thing in the universe to look at, and you can only imagine how scary you look when you're angry.
>Sadly, you can't hit her.
>Because that's against the rules
>That one fucking rule
>The one rule that every Reaper is taught when they first start, but will never even acknowledge because there's no way it can happen
>"Don't hurt the living"

14/17

>See, if Reapers went around punching everything, things would get bad. Lifeforms just dropping dead in the streets is one thing, but the spirits that are released after death will know what has happened
>Enough spirits get killed like that, and they could start a spirit-world civil war.
>It's actually happened before, when the Company introduced longer shifts
>200 years of long and bloody war over 30 minutes of extra working time.
>Spirits can be assholes at times.
>But fortunately you can't actually hurt the living in a spectral state, even if they touch you, like when the pony walked through you earlier today
>But if a Reaper was to somehow become physical in the world of the living?
>If that Reaper went around hurting everything he saw?
>Well, lets just say the Company has a no-tolerance policy with that kind of thing.
>Sigh and keep walking. It's not worth the risk
>You'll probably be out of here by the end of the day anyway
>As night falls you stop by the treehouse and knock
>Spike opens the door to see a tall, gaunt, white skinned alien wearing a black cloak glaring down at him
>He faints on the spot
>Step over him and go to find Twilight
Twilight?
>She appears from under a pile of old looking books and scrolls
>"Anon! Great news!"
>Sit down infront of her
>"The Princesses have said that this has happened before, though last time it was a Pale Pony, which actually sparked the old folk tale of the Pale Pony of Death!"
So they can fix it?
>"Yep! They even showed me how! Just stand right here and I'll get started"
>Smile
>You knew she'd come through


15/17

>That was a lie.
>You were terrified that you'd have to spend the rest of your long, long life trapped on this world with that "thing" following you
>"Here we go! It was great meeting you, Anon. I wish you could stay longer. I could learn so much about the universe from you."
>She falters for a second
>Then looks back up
>"But the Princess said that if I don't send you back she'd publish my journal in the newspaper"
What's so important about your journal?
>"Nothing! Nothing at all!"
>Spike waddles on by eating a donut, you don't even remember him waking up
>"It's full of badly drawn pictures of her and Celestia having sex"
>Raise an eyebrow
>Twilight goes red and flustered
>"L-lets just get this over with."
>She begins casting a spell
>The purple aura glows and you see sweat already start to form on her forehead
>Must be one hell of a spell
>Unlike before, this spell fills you with hope instead of dread
>The aura goes black once more and you feel a sense of calm wash over you
>Twilight is grunting and struggling as hard as she can
>The spell reaches it's climax and you get lifted into the air by magical energies
>Fall on your ass
>Look at Twilight
>She looks right through you
>"D-did it work? Anon? Are you there?"
>Smile
>Pat her on the head
>She shudders and looks around frantically
>Remove your hand
>"I uhh. Guess that means yes. Bye, Anon! If uhh, you're still here listening to me"
>Shake your head and walk through the wall and into the night
>Stroll through a nighttime Ponyville
>No one in the streets but you
>Look around at the town
>It really isn't that bad once you get used to it
>Ponies are still weird, and you need to report Pinkie Pie. But it's pretty great.

16/17

>Walk to the tree where you sat this morning
>Fluttershy is there
>She's crying
>"I-I just wanted to love somep0ny..."
>Shrug and carry on walking
>She's not your problem
>Hear a voice shout "OH COME ON" from the bush
>Look around
>Sunslice walks up to you
>"You're just gonna leave it like that?! Come on, man!"
Were you watching me all day?
>"Well- uhh... Yeah."
>You don't blame him. It was probably funny to watch
>"Sooo, you're not going to say goodbye?"
How can I? I'm dead again.
>"Oh yeah."
Yeah.
>"Kind of uhh, Anticlimactic, don't you think?"
Yup.
>Both stand there for a while
>"Wanna get a drink?"
Yes.
>Both walk down the path and fade into thin air
>Leaving Equestria behind
>Leaving Curious unicorns behind
>Leaving Reality Shaping bakers behind
>Leaving Fashionistas who know way too much behind
>Leaving Down-to-earth farmers behind
>Leaving Sunbathing pegasi behind
>And leaving behind creepy stalkers who believe in love in first site, even when confronted with an angel of death.

>Huh. "Angel"
>Sounds pretty good when you say it like that.
>Who said Angel again?
>Oh yeah.
>Fucking Fluttershy

17/17
The End