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- >"-And the barrel was full of raw meat!"
- >You laugh at Pinkie's story as you close the oven door.
- "Oh Pinkie, you and your wacky shenanigans!"
- >You tussle her mane as she laughs.
- >Her laugh quickly peters out into a girlish giggle, and she blushes and covers her face with her mane.
- >Pinkie has always been your closest friend ever since arriving in Equestria, but she's been acting pretty odd lately.
- >She's been giggling and blushing a lot.
- >The other day, while you were talking, she just started giggling and ran off.
- >Your hand is still on the top of her head, so you begin gently scratching around the base of her ears.
- >Her giggling becomes a soft humming as she tilts her head into your hand.
- >"...Nonny? There's something really extra-special I need to ask you~"
- "What is it, Pinkie?"
- >A knock at the door interrupts before she can answer.
- "Hold on, let me get that real quick."
- >Pinkie peeks out around your legs as you open the door, and gasps excitedly.
- >"Limey!"
- >She tackles her sister at full force, wrapping her hooves around her neck, talking at a million words a minute about how much she missed her.
- >Limestone doesn't budge an inch.
- "Oh look, Limestone's here. Great."
- >Pinkie sticks her tongue out at you.
- >"Nonny! Be nice to Limey, she's come a long way from the farm to visit!"
- "Yeah, it's kind of weird to see you off the farm, I kinda started to think if you left, you'd burn up like a vam..."
- >Your words trail off as you notice that she's staring straight at the ground, shaking and sweating.
- "Lime? Are you okay?"
- >A flurry of hoofsteps coming up the road catch your attention.
- >Twilight skids to a stop a few steps behind Limestone.
- "Twilight? What's going on? What's she doing here?"
- >She cocks an eyebrow.
- >"You don't know? She stopped by my castle, asked where you lived, and left without saying a word."
- >Pinkie's starting to look worried.
- >"What's wrong, Limey?"
- >Limestone swallows hard and takes a deep breath before digging something out of her saddlebag and practically punching it into your hands.
- >"H-here, take it."
- >You open your palm and pick up the object to examine it.
- >It's a ring.
- >It looks like it was carved out of a geode, one side is made of dark rock, the middle is white crystal, and the other side was amethyst.
- >Pinkie gasps in amazement.
- >"Oh my gosh Limey, that's soooo pretty!"
- >Twilight takes a step closer to get a better look.
- >"It's beautiful...Did you make it yourself?"
- >Limestone puffs up a little with pride.
- >"Y-yeah, I did! Pretty great, huh Anon?"
- "Yeah, it is, but I don't really get why you're giving this to me, we don't exactly get along."
- >She huffs and puts on her best annoyed face.
- >"Don't play dumb with me, Anon! Twilight's book said that humans give each other rings when they get m-married!"
- >Pinkie freezes, Twilight's jaw drops.
- "...What?"
- >"Yeah, I-I wanna...get married..."
- >An awkward silence hangs in the air for a few seconds, before some uncharacteristically forced laughter from Pinkie breaks it.
- >"Oh man, Lime, you're really...that's...I don't remember you being so funny back-"
- >"I went to the choosing stone, and it said that Anon's my match."
- >Pinkie reacts like she's been punched.
- >"...oh..."
- >You sigh.
- "Alright, so what sort of magical horse bullshit do I have to deal with this week?"
- >Limestone glares up indignantly.
- >"Hey! The choosing stone has chosen mates for our family for generations! It's never been wrong, so that must mean that I've been wrong about you."
- >She glances over your body and snorts dismissively.
- >"You can't really blame me though, you haven't done much to impress me."
- "I don't need to impress you Lime."
- >She straightens up and squares her shoulders.
- >"Well, if I'm going to be having your half-breed abominations sometime down the line, you'd better start trying!"
- >You recoil at her pointed assertion.
- "What the fuck, Lime!"
- >Twilight steps alongside Limestone and puts a hoof on her arm.
- >"Uh, Limestone, don't you think you're going about this the wrong way?"
- >She groans and stares down at her hooves.
- >"I don't...I don't do this stallion stuff...but Mom and Dad are getting old, and if I'm going to take on the farm, I've gotta start a family..."
- >She glares back up at you.
- >"I gave you the ring, so what are we waiting for? Let's do this already!"
- >You cross your arms and lean against the door frame.
- "I don't have to marry you just because you gave me a ring, Lime."
- >"What? But the book..."
- >Twilight scratches the back of her head.
- >"Sorry if you were misled, I guess? Maybe I worded that sentence wrong?"
- >Limestone glances back and forth between the two of you, before settling on you with a firm gaze.
- >"The choosing stone-"
- "Twilight, are there any bylaws regarding magical matrimonial artifacts and common law marriage?"
- >"None that I'm aware of."
- >First bending down to set the ring on the ground in front of Limestone, you step back into your house.
- "Sorry Lime, better luck next time. There's probably a dozen stallions out there waiting for you to make them the happiest guys on the planet, just not me."
- >The door shuts as she stares forward with a shocked expression, before her fire finally returns.
- >"Fine! What does that stupid rock know anyway!"
- >She spins around angrily and storms away, with Twilight hot on her heels.
- >"So that probably could have gone better, huh? Heh..."
- >Limestone doesn't respond.
- >"Listen, Lime, maybe we can help? If you stay in town for a few days we can find some nice stallions, maybe set up a few dates?"
- >Limestone stops on the word 'date'.
- >Her angry expression slowly softens, and then changes to one of fear.
- >And then panic.
- >"Are you alright?"
- >Limestone bolts back towards your door and starts pounding on it.
- >"Hey, I'm sorry about that stuff or whatever! Let's go grab a bite to eat and talk this over, okay!? You eat fo-YOU EAT FOOD, RIGHT!?"
- >She continues to pound on your door as Twilight trots over to Pinkie.
- >"This is a little out of my wheelhouse. Maybe we should call Cadance? What do you think, is there anything to this-"
- >The sounds of soft sniffles catches Twilight's ear.
- >"...Pinkie? Are you crying?"
- >"No...I mean yes! I'm crying happy tears for Limey! Why wouldn't I, when she's found the funnest, funniest, most cutest colt ever!?"
- >She smiles the widest smile she can manage, and wipes away her tears.
- >"I'm so excited! I barely h-have time to...to...plan their w-w-wedding!"
- >Her smile falls and she drops to the ground, covering her head and forcing out deep sobs into the dirt.
- >Twilight stands awkwardly in between a blubbering Pinkie, and a Limestone whose currently threatening to break your door down.
- > A bead a of sweat rolls down her forehead as she tries to figure out which issue to tackle first.
- >She slowly starts to step away from the sisters.
- >"Yeah, I'm just gonna head back to the castle really quick and shoot a letter off to Cadance..."
- >"Anon'sh reeeal sensitive, Limey, *hic* you gotta protect his smile or whatever..."
- >Twilight finally found the Pie Sisters she'd been searching for in the local bar.
- >Limestone was staring intently into her still-full glass of cider, and Pinkie was slamming back what looked to be her tenth, if the empties beside her were any indication.
- >"There you girls are! I've sent a letter to Cadance, she'll be here soon to help us figure this whole mess out."
- >Limestone glances up from her cup to give Twilight a half-hearted glare.
- >"This was supposed to be easy. Your book said all I had to do was give him the ring!"
- >"I'm pretty sure you just misread something."
- >Pinkie burps slightly and giggles.
- >"Yeah, Anon's a little harder to impress than that, Limey..."
- >She props her chin up on her hooves and stares forward dreamily.
- >"I always imagined what Anon's wedding would be like...light pink streamers running along the white walls, a bouquet of carnations, a 19 layer cake, the dress..."
- >Her smile droops, and tears well up in the corners of her eyes.
- >"N-now I can plan it, for you and Nonny! BARKEEP! My glass is empty, what the hay do you get paid for, anyway!"
- >Twilight glances along the table, frowning at the number of empty glasses.
- >"Don't you think you're overdoing it a bit, Pinkie?"
- >Limestone rolls her eyes and turns away from her sister.
- >"I don't think there's going to be any wedding, Pinkie. I screwed up."
- >Pinkie gasps and turns Limestone back towards her.
- >"Don't give up on Nonny, Limey! I know you be a little rough sometimes, but you deserve a special somepony as much any anyone else!"
- >Limestone just stares down an the table and shrugs.
- >"He hasn't seen the same side of you I've seen, Limey. You're smart, funny, I've seen how sweet you can really be!"
- >Her sagging shoulders lift slightly, and her face hardens.
- >"Yeah...Yeah! I'm not just some shrill bitch! He's barely gotten to know me, and he just writes me off!?"
- >She bangs her hoof on the table and smirks defiantly.
- "I'm going back over there, I'm going to make him see that I'm HIS shrill bitch!"
- >Limestone goes to leave, but Pinkie holds onto her cheeks.
- >Her brow knits as her expression grows serious.
- >"You have to promise me that you'll make Nonny the happiest colt in the world."
- >"...What?"
- >Pinkie squeezes Limestone's cheeks and pulls her in close.
- >"Promise me. If you break Nonny's heart, you'll break mine too."
- >Lime's eyes widen in surprise.
- >"You're getting a bit melodramatic, don't you-"
- >"Promise."
- >Pinkie's iron glare forces Limestone to look away.
- >"Y-yeah, sure. I promise, stick a cupcake in the eye and all that, jeez."
- >Pinkie's face splits into a wide grin and she hugs her sister tightly.
- >"I know that you will! Get out there and show him what he's missing out on!"
- >Limestone quickly departs with a bit less confidence than she'd previously mustered.
- >Pinkie tries to follow, but a purple glow grabs onto her tail.
- >"Pinkie-"
- >"Oh, hi Twilight! I kinda forgot you were here, what's up?"
- >"Why are you doing this?"
- >"Doing what?"
- >Twilight sighs.
- >"You clearly like Anon. Why are you trying to help Lime?"
- >Pinkie waves dismissively.
- >"Psssh, what? Come on Twilight, we're just fr-"
- >"Lime's going to kiss Anon before you could."
- >Pinkie immediately starts bawling, drawing annoyed glares from the nearby patrons.
- >She wraps her hooves around Twi and starts crying into her neck.
- >"I-It's not fair! Anon'ssoprettyandfunandwe'vebeenfriendsforsolongand-"
- >Twilight manages to push Pinkie back.
- >"H-Hey, calm down, Pinkie! They aren't in a relationship yet. Anon doesn't even like Lime, so you've still got a chance."
- >Pinkie wipes away her tears and sniffs balefully.
- >"...The choosing stone says that Anon's Lime's match."
- >"Pinkie, you can't just throw away your feelings on the whims of a magical stone."
- >Pinkie composes herself, and gets back on her hooves.
- >"Limey's not very social. She doesn't like talking to other ponies, especially colts. I meet new ponies all the time, I can find somepony else..."
- >Her throat tightens at the thought, but she holds back the tears.
- >"I don't know if Lime can. If the choosing stone says that her and Anon can work together, I'm not going to stand in the way."
- >Twilight frowns, and steps in closer to her friend.
- >"Pinkie...You have to tell Anon how you feel. It's not fair to him if he has to make this choice without even knowing all of his options."
- >She gasps and shakes Twilight by the shoulders.
- >"Anon can never find out! If you tell on me, I'm going to be soooo mad!"
- >"H-hey, stop, I'm not going to say anything to Anon!"
- >Pinkie releases her, and she rubs her sore shoulder.
- >"Ow...It has to be you, Pinkie. He has to hear it from you, see how you feel!"
- >Pinkie sticks her hoof accusingly into Twilight's chest.
- >"Pinkie Promise you won't tell Anon!"
- >"Huh? I said I wasn't going to-"
- >"Nu-uh, You hafta Pinkie Promise!"
- >"But-"
- >"Peeeeeeeeeeeeeen"
- >"Anon-"
- >"Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeey"
- >"ANON HAS TO KNOW!"
- >"PINKIE PROMISE!"
- >An irritated customer turns towards the two.
- >"Can you girls take this outside, I'm trying to drink over-"
- >Pinkie rears up on the back of their chair and gives them an intense stinkeye.
- >After a few seconds, they break eye contact.
- >"Okay, just, I'm sorry, please stop staring at me..."
- >Twilight tries to slowly back out of the bar, but she's stopped by a wall of Pink.
- >Her eyes narrow, and she whispers harshly.
- >"Pinkie Promise."
- >Twilight throws her hooves up in frustration.
- >"Fine! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye! I won't tell Anon!"
- >Pinkie is once again all smiles.
- >"Thank you for understanding, Twilight."
- >She trots happily out of the establishment, followed by a grumbling Twilight.
- >The customer she'd stared down sighs.
- >"I swear, those girls think they own this town."
- >Her lime green tablemate, chuckles lightly.
- >"They kinda do, Bonnie. Twilight's a princess now."
- >Bon Bon sips her drink in annoyance and sighs.
- >"Well, I didn't vote for her. And what does 'Princess of Friendship' even mean? Do I need her permission to socialize, or something?"
- >Lyra kicks her hooves up the chair next to her and takes a swig of her shake.
- >"Yeah, sometimes you can feel real powerless when the big mares step on ya."
- >She sits back up and leans towards her friend.
- >"But sometimes the only thing that makes you feel any better is a little petty vengeance."
- >Bon Bon lifts an eyebrow.
- >"Like how?"
- >Lyra smirks.
- >"One time, I snuck fleas into the brim of Applejack's hat. The next day I saw her digging at herself like she was looking for gold."
- >"Lyra, you bitch!"
- >She laughs and takes another swig of her shake.
- >Bon Bon thinks back on Twilight and Pinkie's confrontation, and slowly smiles.
- >"Hey, Lyra? You wouldn't happen to know where Anon lives, do you?"
- >Lyra's smirk spreads into a full grin.
- >"Buck yeah, I do."
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