School Days - Fear Day

We stood in position for a time I couldn't estimate, due to how everything was spinning. However,...

"Ahem, looks like I'm too much."
"Onee-chan !"

Nepgear moved away from me instantly, but Neptune came near us and pushed us against each other again.

"No worries. I expected something like that."
"Eeeeeeeh ?"
"Gear, you only know him since more or less a month, but your thoughts are all over him. Helping him, supporting him in one way or another,... It was obvious."
"...Really ?"
"It's easy to notice when you're outside of it, and the events clearly made everything to push you two together... However..."
"However ?"
"I don't think everything has been settled for you two."
"...Perhaps you're right, Neptune."

I took the opportunity to bring back the box.

"We haven't eaten yet, even though the meal is a mess."
"...Sorry."
"It's not your fault. Let me check it..."

Even though the contents were damaged, the food was not only eatable, but delicious.

"You did well, Gear."
"Really ?"
"Trust me. I can tell you spend some time preparing it."
"Also, I have good news for both of you."
"Huh ?"
"During my reporting, the guy who attacked you got caught for trying to vandalize a locker. Since he was associated with various damages on the school as well, I did my part. He will never antagonize either of you again."
"...I don't really want to know what you did."
"It's better if you don't. Well, I need to go, I'll leave some alone time for both of you."

Without leaving me the time to answer, Neptune ran off, leaving us alone.

"...Do I need to understand it as if she trusts me that much ?"
"Probably..."

I looked at her, but she looked away.

"Gear."
"...Yes ?"
"...You're better now ?"
"...I guess."
"Good."
"Tell me, Roland..."

She finally found the courage to face me.

"...Did I trouble you ?"
"It wasn't my first kiss, even though you're the one who stole the first ones."
"Really ?"
"Really. However..."
"Yes ?"
"...I'm confused, honestly. And quite afraid, too. And since you've been so honest with me, I think I can explain it to you."

I took her hands, facing her again.

"...But first, I have to ask you... Did you kissed me for comforting only, or is it something else ?"
"...I think I acted on impulse. But I don't get why. However, from what Onee-chan told us... I can say it may be love."
"I see."
"...What do you think about it ?"
"I honestly don't know. I have never been in love after all."
"Really ?"
"Yes."
"It is the same for me. But... I appreciate our time together. All my thoughts end up towards you, even though we didn't knew ourselves two months ago. And since that moment you saved me... Since that moment you embraced me... I'm attracted towards you, and I don't even understand why."
"You're... Attracted ?"
"Yes... I thought I'd be scared by men since what happened, but... I feel safe near you. And the nearer, the better."
"If that helps you, go ahead."

I opened my arms towards her, and she held herself against me.

"...If that isn't love, what is it ?"
"I don't even know what is love."

Shaking my head to purge the urges of making it move in the rhythm of a well-known song, I focused myself on the actual situation.

"...And I don't even know if I'm able to love someone."
"Is something stopping you from being able to love someone ?"
"I'd say that it's the case."
"Do you want to talk to me about it ?"
"It would be better to resume it as what you experimented on the train that day. Except much further. And lots of times."
"..."

I felt her embrace strengthening itself.

"...I'm sorry..."
"Why ?"
"Enduring this... Must have been painful... Isn't it ?"
"It was. But it was such a whirlwind of emotions that it doesn't even matter."
"Did something happen ?"
"...You got almost raped. You changed your personnality because of that. You stole my first kiss in the process. You also stole the second one few minutes later. Then Neptune got me to tell her my past. And finally, I was scared by a fairy. Can you say that something happened ?"

She looked at me with such surprised eyes that I couldn't do anything but laugh.

"Sorry, your face was just too much."
"Too much what ?"
"Okay, let me explain it to you in a more correct matter."

It took long minutes for me to tell her everything, and I'm pretty certain the bell rang during that time, but neither of us moved, even though her grip loosened a bit.

"I understand... That's why I don't remember everything, then."
"You don't remember that time when you changed personality ?"
"Not at all."
"Now you know."
"...Sorry for stealing your kisses that way."
"No worries, we can't do anything against it anyway."

I was about to say something more, but something hit my forehead.

"What was that ?"
"...A paper plane ?"
"Yeah. And with a mini you on it, apparently."
"How cute !"
"Wait, let me see, there's a message with it... "In three weeks, day by day, will be held the wedding of another dimension's Nepgear. If you received this paper plane, you are invited to go to it, with the only obligation being to stand at this place in twenty days and at the same hour, and a limitation of three persons per dimension. Another dimension's Histoire will be in charge of opening the path, and all costs will be taken by our care until you'll be back."... What the fuck did I just read ?"
"Can I see ?"

I watched around, trying to pinpoint the place from where came that paper plane, while Gear took the message.

"... Wait, this writing, it is exactly the same as mine !"
"Can it be true ?"
"Yes, we already had cases of alternate dimensions' gates, months ago."
"I see... Do you want to go and see it ?"
"Why not ? But... I don't want to go alone."
"I guess I'll come with you, then. Unless you want Neptune to go instead ?"
"No !"
"Then it's settled. You should contact Histoire about that, though, it's important."
"I will."

She ended up putting both the message and the paper plane in her bag, while keeping a hand on my waist.

"You know, you don't need to hold onto me like that, I won't run away."
"Sorry, I just... I just wanted to..."
"No need to ask."

I was the one who attracted her to me, to my own surprise.

"...Guess it isn't as hard to do as it was. Perhaps am I opening myself to you ?"
"Perhaps."

She looked at me, and before I could react towards it, my hand ended up moving on her cheek, caressing it softly.

"...I don't get my own self anymore."
"You don't need to understand."

She put her hand over mine, with her eyes deep into mine.

"I don't understand either, yet I accept it. And even though my heart is pounding like it's gonna come out my chest, I'm not scared."
"I still am, to tell you the truth. Perhaps is it because of my past, or perhaps I'm actually having feelings I don't even know, or maybe it's for another reason, but... Even with that... Even with that, I don't want to move away."

My hand went through her hair, before attracting her near me.

"I'm also scared for another reason."
"Which is ?"
"Unlike you, I begin to understand. Why I acted this way around you. Why I am holding you near me. Why I can't get enough of your presence."
"Why ?"
"...Because I'm feeling something new, and because I actually don't know how to react to it."
"Just let your feelings decide, then. I'm ready for them."

To be honest, my heart was also beating like crazy, but I kept this silent.

"...Are you sure ?"
"I trust you."

I softened my grip on her a bit, right before kissing her. Her eyes opened wide due to the surprise, before closing. And at that very moment, something in me was released. Something I didn't knew, but which had an immediate effect on me. Tears began flowing, but it wasn't tears of pain or tears of anger. I just got it.

"Roland ? You're okay ?"
"Yes... No worries."
"But you're crying."
"Yeah. I know. But it's not a problem."
"Why ?"
"Because I finally got it."
"You got why ?"
"I understood... So it's that ? This feeling..."
"This feeling ?"
"...Let me put it simply... How do people tell it, usually ? Ah, yes..."

My mouth approached her lips again, whispering a simple "I love you" before closing on them. The moment felt like an eternity, but I didn't care, nor was I disgusted. For the first time, I could really appreciate that, without any traces of the past hurting me. The present what was mattered. My present with her.

"Tu avais raison, grand-père. Avoir peur de quelque chose n'empêche en rien cette chose d'arriver."
"What did you say ?"
"My grandpa always said the same thing about me, when he learned about what happened to me. He thought I'd become scared of loving someone again, but he also knew it still wouldn't stop me from loving someone one day."
"And ?"
"And it seems he said the truth. I still need to ask him what were these "saloperies de putain de merde" he always was angry about, though."
"...If I'm not wrong, these are insults."
"Ah."

From that day onward, my life changed. Since I managed to overcome my pain, my anger and all of my sorrow, to dedicate myself to the person who trusted in me the most. It definitely wasn't as easy as it seemed, considering I had years of issues behind me, but she always was with me, enjoying the good days with me, and supporting me during the bad days. In the end, I managed to focus on my studies enough to get graduated, even though I lacked motivation at the beginning. I just found it later, in the eyes of the girl I end up loving from my school days on.