a write

It might have even been a little silly. Snuggling a Hunter of all things in her living room with My Little Pony playing in the background? Anyone else would call this frankly ridiculous.

It was ridiculous. It was all fucking stupid. Was this even helping? She hadn't spoken since the second episode. Was she upset? She'd fucked up somehow. She knew it.

She couldn't even make the difference for one person. There was no way to free her, apparently. Even the fucking Primogen said there was no way. If she couldn't even help one person, what was the point? Maybe there wasn't one. Maybe it was all pointless.

“Y'know... it's nice to know someone gives a damn.” She finally spoke. “Not even just gives a damn. Actually cares. That means somethin'.”

“...Does it? Does it really?”

“Yeah. What, you sayin' it doesn't? 'Cause it does. It really does.”

“I can't even free you. If I can't do that, if I can't save you-”

“Look, don't even worry about that.”

“I- but- you're always so miserable, and those damned voices, and...  and I'm going to lose you... I don't want to lose you...”

“...You're not gonna lose me. I'll come back around, with a new life, a better life, and I'll find you.”

“You keep saying that, but... do you really believe that? What if you don't come back?”

“I will. I believe that, and I wish you would, too. If there's anything to this 'red string' bullshit, then I like to think I'll find you again.”

“But they're driving you to suicide-”

“No, a lot of things make me think about that. The voices are usually quiet, believe it or not. Think back. Did you ever hear me talk about it before a few weeks ago?”

“...I guess not, no...”

“Mmhm. Whatever's goin' down lately, it's got 'em uppity. Which is awful, but it's not the norm. You know what actually makes me think about that? My fucked up life, the blindness, my leg... but now I kinda feel like that'd be givin' somethin' up.”

“But you were just talking about it...”

“...That was before this. Before... you happened.”

“What?”

“Let me be, well, anything but straight with you. It's been a long-ass time now. You know someone for that long and you start feelin' more things for them than you do damn near anyone else. Doesn't matter what they are. That's me with you. This is gonna get sappy and cliché fast, just warnin' you now. Your goofy-ass train metaphor, well... it told me just about everything I think I needed to hear. Doesn't matter how long you're here for or I'm here for, I think. Long as we got each other now.”

“...You're right, that is sappy and cliché.” She sighed. “But... I want you forever... You, of all people, deserve to be happy forever. And I can't even make that happen...”

“but I'm happy now. Listen, I wanna make you a promise. Even if you don't believe, I do. I'll find a way back some way or another. I don't know how, but I will. And that's when we can make it forever.”

“If you say so...” She sounded uncertain.

“I do.”

There was another silence, though this one was less lengthy than the last. During that silence, Anya decided that she was calm enough to focus. And with focus, she could use her auspex just to see what was going on, and the moods around the apartment. She could see that her sister had gone out, and the constant lime green blip of annoyance that was a cat wandering around. How had he even gotten in here?

But looking to her immediate left left her field of vision awash in bright blue and sky, with the smallest streak of vermilion toward one edge.

Maybe she was making a difference, after all.