Advertisement
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- >You were just finishing up the most FANTASTIC ensemble ever when a VERY RUDE AND INCONSIDERATE PONY burst through your front door.
- >You put on your best fake smile.
- >"Rainbow Dash, how lovely to see you. Can I... help you?"
- >She's tracking mud everywhere.
- >There's some horrid beast following behind her.
- >"And THIS is Rarity. She makes clothes and junk, so she can probably put together something for you."
- >"While I suppose I could, I do happen to be a little busy at the moment."
- >"Aw that's fine, he's not going anywhere, right Anon?"
- >The big... ape... thing nods.
- >"Not going to move. I'd love to stay right here and watch... Rarity, you said? I'd love to watch Rarity at work. Fashion is a FASCINATING industry."
- >You crack a smile. Perhaps you shouldn't be quite so quick to judge a book by its cover.
- >"Oh go right ahead, dear. I was just finishing up and I shan't be more than a few minutes. Really, I just need to select a color for this hem here and I'll be practically done."
- >"Cerulean."
- >You aren't facing the creature, but your eyebrow raises. You mentally apply his suggestion and it's... perfect.
- >Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
- >You finish your work and turn to face the beast.
- >His outfit is in tatters. The poor dear, no wonder he wanted new clothing.
- >"Thank you, er... Anon, was it?"
- >"Anonymous. Anon for short. Enchante, Mademoiselle."
- >"Oh, such a gentleman. So, do you work in fashion?"
- >"I'm afraid not."
- >"You have quite an eye for color."
- >Dash backs up toward the door.
- >"Alright guys, I'm gonna go. Got awesome... stuff. To do. Yeah."
- >The door closes behind her.
- >"So I take it you aren't from around here then?"
- >"Oh no. Not even Equestria, though I must admit I am enjoying it here."
- >Your stomach makes a very un-ladylike rumble and you titter sheepishly.
- >"I do apologize. I'm afraid I tend to get caught up in my work and neglect everything else."
- >"It's not a problem. We all have needs. In fact, I haven't eaten all day."
- >"What? That simply won't do! Come, let's do something about this."
- >You lead him into the kitchen and are about to set yourself to cooking something.
- >"Excuse me?"
- >"Yes?"
- >"May I?"
- >Oh goodness, he cooks too?
- >"Please, be my guest."
- >A few minutes later, you're very nearly in heaven. So he doesn't work in fashion? Then he simply MUST be a chef. It's the most exquisite meal you've had in ages.
- >He looks out the window. You follow suit.
- >It is rather late.
- >He looks nervous.
- >"I don't suppose I could trouble you... for a place to sleep?"
- >"Why, you've been shown around town by my friends and not one of them has offered you lodging? That cannot stand and I must INSIST you stay here, though I will require you to... ahem... bathe first."
- >"I understand completely. I am a bit filthy. The trouble, though, is that I haven't a change of clothes."
- >Now THAT is a tragedy that must not go uncorrected.
- >"I'll whip something up for you. I can't promise it'll be particularly glamorous on such short notice, but it should be quite serviceable."
- >He nods happily and you point him to the shower.
- >You cobble together a pathetic shirt and pants that you wouldn't call anything more impressive than rags, but still they are better than what he was wearing.
- >You trot over to the shower, still in use, and knock on the door.
- >"...yes?"
- >"Anonymous? I'm leaving your new outfit just outside the door here."
- >"Oh. Thank you very much. I'll be out in just a moment."
- >You pick up his old scraps, helpfully left hanging on the doorknob, and seal them in your 'to be burned' hamper.
- >On your way back, he's standing in the hall picking up his new clothes.
- >He's very naked, and it's strange that that's strange. Why is his unclothed state something to gawk at?
- >Why are you GAWKING?
- >You immediately about face and hide your blushing face.
- >"So sorry."
- >"No, I'm the one who's sorry. I'm afraid I used the last of that HEAVENLY shampoo."
- >By Celestia this creature is incredible. Why can't you find a colt like HIM?
- >Your body seems to think you already have and now you can't decide which way to face, as either direction is equally embarrassing for different but related reasons.
- >You opt to turn around again and feel very silly to find he is already back behind the door.
- >And why wouldn't he be? He recognized the situation and took proper action to correct it. He's speaking politely from the other side.
- >You have a sudden and intense hatred for your body.
- >This... this CREATURE may be a perfect gentleman...
- >Who both cares for and is knowledgeable about fashion...
- >And by CELESTIA can he cook...
- >And who happens to have excellent taste in shampoo...
- >Why are you rationalizing this? You're a pony. He is not. End of discussion.
- >He steps out, looking rather dashing considering he's wearing such a shoddily assembled outfit.
- >Your heart flutters a bit.
- >NO. STOP THAT.
- >But he's so perfect!
- >Your hindquarters-
- >NO. STOP. THAT.
- >"Ahem. Anonymous?"
- >"Yes, milady?"
- >OH MY. PLEASE stop doing this! You can't handle it!
- >"Would you..."
- >What are you doing?
- >"... like to accompany me..."
- >WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- >"... to Canterlot this weekend?"
- >WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU STUPID SLUT?
- >He frowns.
- >"I'm... afraid I can't. My time here is rather limited."
- >Your heart sinks. WHY IS IT DOING THAT?
- >"Oh, that's quite alright. Just a friendly offer."
- >Yeah. Friendly. And Twilight is prettier than you.
- >And Applejack has the best pokerface you've ever seen.
- >And Rainbow Dash is straight.
- >What were you thinking about again?
- >Right, of course. This hot hunk of-
- >STOP THAT.
- >This... fine upstanding fellow is only here temporarily.
- >So really, that's even better. A long term relationship would be tricky across species, but one wild night of passion? That neither of you would ever speak of?
- >It's PERFECT.
- >And also disgusting and wrong and stop it.
- >You close up the conversation, deciding to turn in for the evening before you make a mistake.
- >He waltzes into the guest room and you flop morosely onto your bed.
- >The ONE creature...
- >No, not quite. The one MALE who's a perfect match for you just happens to be biologically incompatible.
- >Your hindquarters-
- >NO. STOP THAT.
- >But you AREN'T incompatible physically! Just reproductively! Which is smashing because that means you don't even need protection and-
- >STOP
- >THAT
- >THIS
- >INSTANT
- >You can't sleep. You can't stop thinking about the potential for a steamy fling in the dark of the night, just like in all those romance novels.
- >And he's just soooooooo perfect.
- >The ONLY problem is that he's not a pony, and even that isn't entirely-
- >WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THAT AND WHETHER OR NOT YOU SHOULD STOP IT?
- >But he... you saw it, and you can't deny the positives. His species is larger in general.
- >He was rather well endowed, and lately your paramours have left you unsatisfied-
- >AGAIN. THAT. SHOULD YOU STOP IT? THE ANSWER AT ELEVEN.
- >BY THE WAY IT HAPPENS TO BE ELEVEN RIGHT NOW AND THE ANSWER IS YES.
- >Against all reason, you get out of bed.
- >You're going to miss out on beauty sleep.
- >Also he might say no!
- >Why would he say no to you? You're positively fabulous!
- >WHY ARE YOU ENTERTAINING THESE IDEAS. DIDN'T WE GO OVER SOMETHING JUST A MOMENT AGO?
- >You quietly trot down the hall.
- >His door is ajar.
- >You peek in and try to see, but it's quite dark.
- >He appears to be awake and... reading?
- >You can't quite make out the cover of the book, but it appears to be two figures embracing.
- >On a cliffside.
- >Above the ocean.
- >You feel faint.
- >On top of everything else. On top of ALL his amazing qualities... he ALSO reads romance novels?
- >This deal. It is sealed.
- >You put on your best pair of bedroom eyes and sashay into the room.
- >He sets the book down and looks up at you.
- >"Rarity, can I help you?"
- >You place one hoof on the edge of the bed and lean over.
- >"Oh you most certainly can."
- >"I don't... we can't."
- >You trace your hoof down his side.
- >"Oh I know, and I wrestled with the same questions, but don't you see? It can be our little secret. Just between us and this room."
- >Your hoof is now just resting just above his hip.
- >"Really, we can't... I mean... you're... I'm..."
- >You let out an exaggerated sigh.
- >"Believe me, I understand. For hours now I've been trying to tell myself the same thing, but it just doesn't matter."
- >He flips on the light and gets a puzzled look on his face.
- >"I'm not certain I understand. It absolutely DOES matter."
- >"Only because society is too conservative to embrace true passion!"
- >"... Rarity, I think there's been a lack of communication here."
- >"There has been a lack of a lot of things. Like you making love to me. Preferably right now."
- >"Rarity, I'm afraid I must decline your advances. I love fashion and cooking and hair care."
- >"As do I! Come now, there is no shame in fulfilling a basic biological need!"
- >He sighs.
- >"Maybe things are different here. I guess I need to just spell it out for you. I'm a gigantic flaming faggot."
- >"A... a what?"
- >"I'm GAY. Oh if you were a stallion I would absolutely mount you, here and now, but you're a mare. I'm just... my body isn't interested."
- >Well YOUR body is and this issue is not over!
- >"Can you... can you close your eyes and pretend?"
- >He left quietly in the morning before you woke up.
- >Maybe you need a second cat.
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement