So.. it's been a long time. For the ones who don't know me and might see this squad - I am the guy who made the George series on Youtube. Some people liked it - some didn't. I'm also the guy who promised to make new content for FIFA 14 (a few times) and didn't deliver. I guess I owe some of you an explanation, why it didn't happen (so far). Well first let me add that I didn't intend to write this open letter, because I still think of myself as a small Youtuber (not even 16.000 subscriber) and don't want to take myself too important. To be honest I thought 8 month is like a hundred years in internet time and people moved on. But the fact that there was a thread a few days ago with like 650 upvotes asking where I've been made me kind of sad and happy at the same time. Happy, because it is pretty awesome there were people who liked watching the stuff I made and didn't forget about it - sad, because I stopped doing something that made people happy as well as myself.

I loved creating the series. So why did I stop? Well there are several reasons. The first one is that I don't enjoy FIFA 14 as much as I enjoyed the previous editions. I feel like the game is slower and the OP headers took a lot of fun out of it for me, since I never enjoyed crossing the ball and hoping for the best. Sadly it is hard for me to get anywhere in FIFA 14 not abusing that. I enjoyed FIFA 13 as a complex skill game - FIFA 14 feels like a dumbed down version to me. I like to compare FIFA to chess sometimes: Chess is a game played on eight rows and eight columns. If you make that six rows and six columns you've still got a game - but a less complex one. That's what I feel happened to FIFA 14. But that's just my opinion and I'm an idiot so who cares =) . The first few games I captured and intended to use were not fun at all. Too many headers and too much goals depending on luck made it hard for me to capture entertaining material. So I tried to get better at this game - tried to learn skill moves from scratch etc. - but soon enough I noticed I'm no FIFA Ralle. I could not make it work. And I don't think I'm the only one - a lot of FIFA videos evolve around the same formula: (all the wagers, Pink Slips etc.) Crossing/Lob pass. Hoping for something to happen. Header. Cool.

But blaming FIFA 14 would be a lame excuse on my part and I didn't even play NextGen, which is said to be better. There were several other factors though. I'm in my last semester of university and was/am confronted with a question everybody is facing at one point or another: What do I want to do with my life? This question not only made it hard for me to focus on anything fun related but really fucked with my head for some time. To be honest I'm still not quite certain where I'm heading but things are better since I've made a few key decisions. Sure, I would love for someone to offer me a job just working on creative bullshit like George. But that's not going to happen so I have to look out for myself atm. and invest time in it. The last two month when I made the road to glory last year I gained like 10-15 subscribers per day, so the opportunity for the channel to blow up or something was off the table for me. To really get big you have to be good at networking ; it's not just a content matter. I'm terrible at that. I'm terrible at Twitter since I don't like sharing my life. Some make up for that with nonsense tweets like "Look at what I ate today." or "I'm going to play this game now." And that's okay since there are people actually interested in what their favorite Youtubers are doing. I just don't feel I've something to add to that.

There are a ton of people better than me at that. Twitter is like another classroom, where the amount of followers is a number to determine how popular and how worthy you are to other people in a community like FIFA. You have to work your way up and that's just not who I am. That's not criticizing people who do that - sometimes I envy the guys who are awesome at that kind of stuff. It's a neat skill. So I lack and will in the future lack the ability to properly promote myself. I didn't network on Skype etc. all important stuff to get bigger. The biggest help I got was from you guys on Futhead actually =). To be honest I never really intended to get big into the first place. I thought if it would happen: Cool! Who would not fucking like that? But mainly it was always my dream to tell a story even 100 people would enjoy and actually finish it. A point to cross off on my "bucket list". I still blows my mind I could fill half a football stadium with the people who seemed to enjoy it in the end. But the dream to actually make money off that and support myself died and with that a possibility where my life might be heading if everything falls into place.

But let's get to the next point: "Youtubing" in general. There is a lot of pressure delivering. People asking everyday where the next upload is increasing in number everyday - even though it is a great fucking compliment - it takes a toll on you. Everyday you don't deliver you feel bad. You feel like you should give them what they want because they are the guys supporting you - even though you might not feel like producing content on that given day. If I could I would've wanted to make a video every day. I don't know how all the other Youtubers are putting out content every. fucking. day. A lot of the people on Youtube want everything now. And they want more. The sooner the better. And again: It's a compliment. But a compliment served with additional pressure. You get afraid if you don't deliver they will turn away from you taking everything you built for yourself.  Believe me I've got a ton of respect for the guys who work hours every day for their channel. They deserve everything they've got, because they fucking worked for it. There were a few other personal issues I don't feel comfortable sharing - I hope that's okay with you guys. But they played a big part and even made me turn down an offer bringing the series to a bigger channel. If the person who contacted me is reading this by any chance: Thanks for being so cool about everything.

So combine all of this and you get to where we stand right now. The few times I announced a new video I really wanted to make one and didn't intend to screw you guys over. But I just couldn't bring myself to sit down and edit even though I've got a whole new story in my head. I guess I'm not a "Youtuber" - I'm just a guy who likes to tell stories. Youtubers like FifaRalle, Kazooie or R9Rai deserve more respect and support than I do. Special thanks to the latter two, who always supported me without me being able to give them something back. (Plus another ton of people I want to thank in general who helped me - but they were the biggest)

That all said, I'm not done with George. A lot of things fell into place for me within the last 2-3 month and I might be ready to have a go at it again. This time I won't promise anything though - the only thing I promise is that I'm not done. I heard there is a world cup mode coming to FUT. Might be a good possibility for a Mini-Series. I understand if you don't want to follow something as uncertain as this. For everyone who still wants to see what I might have left in the tank: Thank you. I really appreciate it. So long. Thanks for reading and all the support guys.