The Shardul of Allah

I cannot talk about married people, but as for the unmarried Muslim guys, they delve into the filth of pornography because they have a very deep emotional void inside their hearts which cannot be fulfilled except through having a meaningful relationship with a Muslim woman.

When people talk about pornography and men, they mostly talk about how men have greater physical desire. To be honest, yes we crave for intimacy, but our need for emotional fulfillment is much greater than our need for intimacy.

When we suddenly see a woman in skimpy dresses, our need for intimacy and emotional fulfillment is triggered. If such trigger had happened once or twice, resisting it would have been easier. However, we live in a hyper-sexualized world, which means our desire is constantly triggered, which turns our struggle into a 24/7 battle.

Let's say, a boy becomes aware of such physical and emotional needs at the age of 18. But he knows from the society he is living in, he will not be able to get married until he is 28-30. This is a struggle for a decade. Even if your eemaan is strong, even if your parents had taught you about the evils of pornography, when you are battling 24/7 against your physical and emotional needs, there will be moments when Shaitan will be able to delude you to think that such needs can be mitigated through viewing pornography.

However, the moment a man enters into the world of pornography, he realizes that he has taken poison to quench the thirst that could have been quenched only though pure water. This poison shatters him like nothing else. Because pornography is the biggest tool ever invented for the destruction of human fitrah. Porn cannot give any emotional fulfillment the man was looking for. In the fitrah of a man, Allah has instilled that he would automatically care, love and provide for the woman he becomes intimate with. When he watches the objectification of women in pornography, his fitrah, the sacred feeling of marriage that he always nurtures in his heart, the pride he carries in obeying Allah and His Messenger (S)--everything is shattered.  As a result his soul dies.

However, realizing the poison of pornography, he comes back, repents to Allah, feels healthy again. But the struggle against his desire again  strains him and Shaitan eventually succeeds again. The easy availability of pornography, which is basically a few keystrokes away, gives Shaitan the upper hand.

The message that our society is propagating is ideal but impractical. Society is not willing to let men and women marry and is basically saying that they should be able to overcome and win this battle of a decade through dua, doing good deeds, and such.

There is no doubt that those who have fallen into the sin of pornography should take responsibility. Not matter what, they do not have any room for sympathy, because Allah does not test anyone beyond their capacity to take. There is no doubt that dua in an immensely powerful tool. All of these also do not absolve the Muslim society from the collective blame of self-deceit. A poor person is not supposed to ask from other people, but Islam has placed great emphasis on voluntary charity. The poor person is supposed to make dua to Allah, but Allah has instructed the rich to give without being asked. The same goes for the emotional and physical needs of men. We will make dua. But when we ask for rizq, we also intend to work and we do not intend to sit at home. This article is very good undoubtedly, but what benefit will it bring if I ask an uncle, who read this article, for the hand of his daughter and he replies, "Oh my daughter is 18 and she is still a kid. She needs to finish her masters at least and also you do not have much money." The society will be back at square one.