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- You opened your eyes.
- Where were you? You can only see gray.
- "Um, excuse me, sir?"
- You could hear a girl's voice to your left.
- You turn your head to face it.
- There's a pale-blue skinned girl kneeling next to you, holding a paddle.
- "I'm sorry to intrude your sleep, but we have to leave ferry soon."
- ...
- Did she just pun you?
- She helps you off your feet and directs you to a flimsy looking wooden raft that can only seat two people.
- She steps on the raft, and motions for you to hop on.
- "I would really prefer it if you would stop lumbering around."
- ...she just punned you again.
- Still reeling from that pun-ch, you step on the raft and sit down.
- ---------
- After a few minutes, the girl asks how you died.
- "I was stabbed to death," you tell her.
- "Wow. You got to the point fast."
- ....
- *UGHHH.*
- ----------
- How long has this paddle-raft ride lasted?
- It's certainly lasted longer than your River Dyx.
- Which is to say, quite long.
- Damn it, now you're starting to get all punny, too.
- ----------
- You decide to ask this girl what her name is.
- "Charon. And don't tell me yours, because I don't really Chare-on."
- ...
- URRGHGGBHBHGHGHGHGH
- ----------
- "What kind of wood is this raft made out of?" You ask her.
- "I don't know. It seems to float oak-ay, though."
- [reader booing]
- -----------
- "So who stabbed you?" She asks.
- "Some guy who was hiding behind a pine tree."
- "Wow. How did you not see him?"
- "Dunno. I thought he was a friend of pine- I mean, mine. Fuck."
- *tomatoes pelt the author.*
- ------------
- After what feels like eternity, you finally reach the other side of the River Dy-
- -Styx, I meant.
- You say thanks to Charon and say goodbye.
- "Bye, son," she says.
- ...What?
- "Get it, like bison?" She says, giggling.
- Oh for fuck's sake.
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