APPLEJACK X ANON HEARTBREAK GREENTEXT

APPLEJACK X ANON HEARTBREAK

    >Hello, it's me Anon....
    >I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet...
    >To go over everything....
    >They say that time's supposed to heal ya
    >But I ain't done much healing

>You look over the letter from Applejack several times
>It's been a while since she sent you a letter
>She used to send you one almost every week shortly after you moved out of Ponyville
>Though, as time went on, the letters became less fequent
>You think part of that has to do with the fact that you didn't reply to a single one
>You could never really figure out how to respond to any of them
>Breaking up with someone usually does that to a person
>Especially when it wasn't mutual
>This isn't something you want to think about right now
>You have other things to do
>Like...
>...
>Shit
>Nothing
>You sigh and walk over to your desk in the living room of your apartment in Canterlot
>Opening one of the drawers reveals an unsorted stack of papers with messy hoofwriting all over them
>With a sad sigh, you place the most recent letter on top of the pile and close the drawer
>Maybe it's time for a walk around the city to clear your head

>You step out the door.
>Celestia's bright afternoon sun shines down upon you.
>God you wish they sold sunglasses that fit you in this stupid world.
>Squinting your eyes, you look around at the hustle and bustle of the city.
>Ponies going every which way, entering and exiting stores and businesses.
>Your eyes catch a few happy couples with their hooves around each other as they walk.
>You turn away and huff in annoyance.
>It's probably best if you just ignore all the other ponies.
>Look straight down at the ground, don't worry about the others around you.
>Unfortunately, the walk didn't seem to be doing much to keep your mind off of... her.
>You suddenly feel a flare of anger from within as you think of that letter.
>"They say that time's supposed to heal ya, but I ain't done much healing."
>Is she fucking serious with that?
>She's really going to act like she's so goddamn pained when she knew damn well how everything went down?
>Fuck her.
>After passing by a few blocks, you decide to loop around back to your apartment.
>Obviously this walk was a bad idea.
>As you walk up the stairs leading to your apartment door, you freeze at the last step as your eyes come across a familiar mare knocking on your door.
>For a split second, your mind screams at you to turn around and continue your walk around the city.
>However, something in the sad mare's eyes keeps you from doing so.
>You decide to make your presence known.
"Hey Applejack."
>She jumps straight up in the air with a loud gasp, startled by your sudden greeting.
>She turns to you and shoots you a sheepish grin.
>You can't help but notice her trembling hooves.
>"O-oh, um, howdy Anon."

>You sigh loudly.
>After all these years, the last thing you expected to see was Applejack knocking on your door.
>The last thing you WANTED to see was Applejack knocking on your door.
"What are you doing here, Applejack?"
>You don't even try to hide the malice in your voice
>She subtly shrinks towards the floor
>Her ears lazily flop downwards
>Her eyes grow wide and sad
>Goddamn it why does she have to be so cute when she's upset?
>"Um, w-well Ah happened to be in the city, and Ah guess I wanted to see ya."
>You internally roll your eyes
"Just happened to be in the city, huh?"
>She nods slowly, refusing to meet your eyes.
"And what brings you to the city?"
>She keeps her eyes to the floor
>"Business stuff."
>She was never good at lying.
"Right."
>The two of you awkwardly shift your glances, each trying to avoid the other's gaze.
>For a moment you consider inviting her inside.
>That thought is quickly pushed away.
>It wouldn't do either of you any good.
>"So... how're you?"
>You could barely hear her soft mumble.
"Fine."
>"Oh."
>More awkward silence.
>It's more than you could take.
"Well, it was... it was good seeing you Applejack. Take care."
>You fumble for your keys and push them into the lock.
>Not wanting to face the distraught pony in front of you, you force your vision on the lock.
>Before you could open the door, you hear a light sniffle
>"S-so, that's it then? Not even gonna invite me inside after all these years?"
>Finally, your eyes meet Applejack's
>Your heart drops at the tears spilling from her emerald eyes

>You could remember a time when the last thing you ever wanted to see was the sight of Applejack crying.
>Applejack was always a happy pony.
>She never cried.
>She was a tough pony.
>And yet, here she was.
>Sprawled out in front of your apartment desperately trying to hold in her sobs.
>As much as it hurt to see Applejack in this state, it did nothing to deter your thoughts from your own pain.
>You sighed once more and spoke in a softer voice
"Well, what exactly did you expect AJ?"
>She sniffled once more.
>"Ah was expecting a friend."
>That stung.
>That stung hard.
>The softness of your voice vanished in an instant, replaced instead by hurt and anger
"Yeah, well, sorry but you're gonna have to look elsewhere. Have a good night."
>You turned away from the apple pony and open the door to your apartment.
>You try to throw the door shut as quickly as possible, resolving not to look back at Applejack.
>The loud slam you expected never came.
>You look back at the door and spot an orange hoof blocking it from closing.
>"Wait, Anon please."
>The door slowly opened, revealing the hurt pony you despised.
>The hurt pony you loved.
>You didn't say a word.
>You just stared angrily at her.
>She shrunk once more at your gaze, but it didn't keep her from speaking.
>"Please, can't we just... ya know. hang out? Like we used to?"
>Your emotions brighten slightly at the thought of spending time with Applejack.
>After all, even before you two dated, hanging out with Applejack was one of your favorite activities in Ponyville.
>The mare knew how to have a good time.
>And not just in a sexual way.
>So many good memories from years long since past.
>And now... well now you almost didn't see the point of it.
>Sure, she was your friend.
>Unfortunately, the heartbreak you felt every time you were around her was always too much to bare.
>Then again, it had been years since he had even spoken with the country mare
>You raised an eyebrow.
"What exactly did you have in mind?"

>Her eyes brightened slightly and the stream of tears slowed down.
>You could almost see a small hint of a smile on her face.
>It warmed your heart and almost made you want to smile right back.
>"Well, how's about you and me hit a bar?"
>You brought a hand to your chin in thought.
>You never were much of a big drinker.
>The only time you ever did drink was with a group.
>Drinking alone was something you didn't like.
>It just made you feel depressed.
>As you thought of your old drinking pals, memories of your times with AJ at bars in Ponyville flooded back to you.
>You remembered that one drinking contest Dash challenged Applejack to.
>A giggle escaped your lips as you recalled how cute Applejack looked when she was wasted.
>She didn't get drunk often, but whenever she did it was always a fun time.
>You can't remember the last time you had a fun time.
>It was probably with Applejack.
>You thought about saying no.
>The smiling teary eyed expression on Applejacks face prevented you from doing so.
"Alright AJ, lets go."
Applejack clapped her hooves in excitement and let out a small squee.
>"Great! I know just the place! Come on!"
>She happily trotted towards the stairs as you followed behind.
>The spring in her step made it obvious she was excited about the prospect of enjoying an old past time with you.
>You laughed quietly as you closed the door and followed your ex-marefriend down the stairs.
>You were going to regret this, you just knew it.

>You lightly jogged, trying to keep up with Applejack's galloping.
>"C'mon Anon, put some pep in that step!"
>She looked back at you, giving you a clear vision of her goofy grin.
>You weren't exactly sure how to feel at this point.
>One moment you were sitting in your house, reminiscing on the past and wallowing in the same grief you've been in for years
>Next moment, the source of your wallowing suddenly shows up on your doorstep and asks you to go drinking with her.
>It was an odd feeling.
>You still weren't sure this was a good idea, but so far the beautiful smile on Applejack's face was making it worth it.
>Just gotta remember that she's here to see you.
>Not to be with you.
>And, just like that, the happy warm feeling you had morphed into malcontent.
>Just don't focus on your pain too much and get this over with.
>The two of you reached an old run down building.
>It stood out like a sore thumb amidst the fancy buildings of Canterlot.
>The "R" in the neon "BAR" sign had burned out.
>The outside walls looked like they hadn't been reinforced since the place was built.
>Reluctance filled your mind as Applejack made her way to the entrance.
"This place? Really?"
>You raised an eyebrow at her sheepish grin.
>"What? Ah like this place. Reminds me of the bars in Ponyville. Ah don't do well in those uppity places where they charge you thirty bits for a single drink!"
>You shrug your shoulders and follow her inside the dimly lit bar.
>Just like the outside, the interior of the bar was old and worn.
>You walk over to the frankly unsafe looking bar stool and carefully take your seat.
>Hopefully the damn thing won't break before you had the chance to leave.
>The bartender walks over to take your drinks.
>You snicker as Applejack orders a hard apple cider.
>Same old Applejack.
>You decide to go with a cheap draft beer, not wanting to spend too many bits on alcohol.
>The bartender hands you your beer.
>Applejack doesn't waste a second after receiving her cider.
>The two of you sit in silence as you sip on your drinks.

>"So how have ya been, Anon? Ain't seen hide nor hair of ya since ya moved from Ponyville."
>There's that question again.
"Fine."
>Nailed it.
>Applejack shook her head before taking a sip of her cider.
>"Nuh uh, Ah ain't hearing any of that. C'mon, what have ya been up to?"
>You sighed heavily.
>Stubborn as always, that Applejack.
"I dunno, work I guess."
>That was it really.
>It's not like you had much of a social life anymore.
>"Where do ya work?"
"Pony Joe's."
>"Oh."
>You cringed.
>If small talk was all you two were going to say, you might as well leave now.
>Maybe you just needed more alcohol to lighten the mood.
>You take another sip of your cheap ass beer.
>"How come y'all never write me back?"
>That question nearly made you spit the terrible tasting drink right out.
>Surely she knew the reason?
>Without turning to face her, you answer her question with another.
"Do you really want me to answer that question?"
>Applejack nodded desperately.
>"Ah... Ah know we didn't exactly part on good terms, but I never wanted to stop being your friend."
>Again with that word.
>Hearing it was akin to nails on a chalkboard.
>Another sip of the bitter alcohol.
>"Do you... hate me or somethin'?"
>Your beer was getting dangerously empty.
>You down the last sip and signal the bartender for another.
>Silence was all that could be heard as he replaced the empty mug with a fresh one.
>Applejack looked away from you sadly.
>Soft sniffles and sobs could be heard.
>"You... you really d-do... hate me..."
>The mare began to break down.
"No. I don't hate you."
>Applejack looked up at you once more, confused.
>You continued.
"I don't hate you Applejack. I hate what you did to me, but I could never bring myself to hate you."

>The mare didn't respond.
>Instead, she resorted to continuing her quiet sobs.
>Her teary eyes stared directly into you as you continued your explanation.
"You need to understand Applejack. What you did... I mean I thought we were happy. You didn't give me any reason to believe otherwise. Things were going so well. I mean, yeah I wasn't really happy about how you wanted to keep it a secret, but hey if that's what made you happy than who am I to complain?"
>You let out a shaky sigh, trying to keep your tears from forming.
"And then, one day... you ended it. Just... like, completely out of nowhere."
>The tears continued to form.
>There was no stopping them now.
"You completely destroyed my heart. And why? Because you were scared. Scared of breaking tradition. Scared of what your family would think if they found out you were dating a human. Scared to admit that you were ashamed of me."
>Applejack raised a hoof in protest.
>"Now hold on there, sugarcube..."
"Please don't call me that."
>The tentative hoof lowered quickly.
"Ah... right. Sorry. But I was never ashamed of you!"
>Oh boy, here we go.
>You scoffed loudly at her.
"Bullshit! You were so goddamn scared of anyone finding out that you were dating me you would rarely even go out with me alone! You always had to bring a third wheel along with us to keep up the facade that we were 'just friends.'"
>A large gulp of the bitter alcohol in front of you interrupted your rant.
>Honestly, it was starting to not taste quite as bad now.
"And then, what did you do immediately after breaking it off? You decide to date that Caramel dude out of nowhere! And then you expected me to just go along with it? What was I supposed to do, huh? Play nice and pretend that nothing was wrong?"
>Another large gulp finished off the last of your second beer.
"It fucked me up Applejack. And honestly, I can't believe you of all ponies didn't notice."

>Applejack's sad gaze had fallen down to her half finished cider.
>Her sobs had quieted down, though the tears continued to fall.
>Your steady breathing calmed after finishing your rant.
>Goddamn did it feel good to get all that off your chest.
>Another quiet sniffle came from the mare.
>She wiped her eyes with her hooves, trying to wipe away the wetness.
"Is... is that why y'all left Ponyville? C-cause of me?"
>You pushed away the empty mug in front of you and signaled the bartender for another.
>It seemed that tonight you would be drinking.
>And drinking quite a lot.
>You took a sip of the fresh beer, slowly starting to feel the effects of the alcohol.
>You didn't want to answer her.
>Mainly because you suddenly realized how pathetic it must seem to skip town because of an ex.
>However, you didn't want to lie to her either.
>Your silence was enough of an answer for her.
>"Ah... Anon Ah'm..."
>She struggled with her words.
>Finally considering the bottle of hard cider in front of her, she downed the remaining half in one long chug.
>"Ah broke up with Caramel."
>You raised your eyebrows in shock and looked at Applejack.
>You certainly weren't expecting that.
"Huh?"
>She signaled the bartender for another hard apple cider, which he quickly gave to the mare
>"Happened about a year ago. It... well it didn't feel right to me."
>A few years ago, this news would have made you the happiest living being in Equestria.
>Now though, it just felt bitter.
>Why didn't she mention this in any of the letters, anyways?
>Whatever, that didn't matter right now.
>Your eyebrows furrrowed.
"Maybe your cutie mark should be a broken heart. You seem to be so damn good at that anyways."
>Man, that was vicious.
>Maybe you were being a little too harsh.
>Still felt good to say though.
>Applejack slammed a hoof onto the bartop.
"Damn it, Anon! It ain't like that!"

"Then what is it Applejack?"
>The pony nursed her bottle of cider
>Her sad demeanor had turned agitated
>"Ah.. it's... well Ah thought we were happy. But well, he just started gettin' distant with me, y'know?"
>She turned back to you with a serious expression
>"It was like one week he was kind, caring, loving... And then the next, well it was like Ah barely existed. Barely ever took me out anymore, barely said he loved me."
>Her tears theatened to fall once more
>"Ah ain't the smartest pony when it comes to romance, but well Ah knew exactly what was going on. So, I broke it off before he had the chance."
>The quiet waterworks began
>"It was... mutual. Or that's what Ah keep tellin' myself. Ah still think about what might've been if we tried to stay together but... well Ah know we're both better off without each other."
>A humorless chuckle was heard
>"Yeah, it hurt for a while. Hurt bad, but Ah got over it eventually."
>Yet another sip from the bottle
>Her voice went soft
>"And then... well Ah started thinking of you."
>You closed your eyes
>Not sure if you liked where this conversation was going, you drowned your attention with the cheap now-not-so-bad-tasting booze.
>"Ah guess it's natural ain't it? When you lose someone you thought you loved, ya start thinking about those you loved in the past."
>You weren't so sure about that
>Then again, it's not like you've dated enough people (or ponies) to know if that was true
>You resolved to sit in silence, staring at your drink
>"Ah hadn't seen ya in a long time. Ya'll never answered my messages. Ah kinda figured you hated me, and that hurt more than when me and Caramel broke up."
>Her unbreaking stare forced you to turn your head
>You met her stunning emerald eyes whose attention was trained on you
>They shook slightly
>The tears she dropped made them shine brighter than Celestia's sun
>There's that warm and fuzzy feeling again
>"Y-you were my best friend, Anon. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you."

>You nearly fell off the chair as she wrapped you up in a tight hug
>You felt your shoulder grow wet as Applejack loudly cried into it
>Out of instinct, you wrapped your arms around her and patted her back
>Whether you were heartbroken or not, this is a sight you never wanted to see
>Applejack was absolutely broken
>The next few minutes were spent consoling the hysterical mare
>Her cries were occasionally broken up by apologies and pleading.
>"A-ahm so...sorry Anon."
>"I didn't mean to hurt you so much."
>"Please don't hate me"
>You sat there in silence, holding on tight to the mare.
>At this moment, all of the heartbreak, all of the pain, everything you had felt in the past few years since leaving Ponyville
>It vanished in an instant
>The only thing that mattered right now was the pony in front of you
>Applejack
>The mare who stole your heart
>The mare you never wanted to see unhappy
>You didn't care about your past with her right then
>All you cared about was making he feel better
>You gently rubbed her back and hushed her
>Desperately trying to confort her enough to stop the tears
>Anything to stop the pain she felt
>You sat there with her in your arms for what felt like hours
>Her sobbing subsided
>Her body stopped shaking quite as much
>The silence was broken by a single question spoken by the mare.
>"Do you still love me?"
>You cringed slightly at the question
>Slowly pulling away from the mare, you caught her eyes
>Curious, almost hopeful even?
>Nah, that was just your mind playing tricks on you.
>You didn't think answering that question would do you any good.
>You turned back to your beer and finished it.
>Applejack placed a hoof to your arm.
>"Anon, please. I need to know."

>You look at the mare and consider your answer
>It was obvious what the answer was, but you were afraid to speak it
>You didn't want this night to end badly
>Regardless, Applejack was a stubborn pony
>And there was no way you would be able to lie to her
"Yes Applejack, I do."
>Applejack gasped and her eyes widened.
>A faint blush could be seen on her cheeks.
>Her mouth opened as if to say something, but no words came out
>You didn't want to make any assumptions at this point
>You decided to stay silent, now looking anywhere but at her
>After a few moments of stuttering, she spoke
>"Ah... okay."
>She took another sip of her drink.
>"Anon... Ah... aw hell, look I know how this is gonna sound but..."
>You took in a sharp breath.
>"...I wanna try again."
>As hard as you tried not to think about it ever since seeing Applejack knocking on her door, you had a feeling this meeting was leading up to this.
>You didn't say a word.
>You didn't look at her.
>You didn't move a single inch.
>You didn't acknowledge that you had even heard the mare.
>You considerd ordering a fourth beer.
>That probably would have been a bad idea.
>You could see Applejack staring intensely at the side of your head in your periphreal vision, eagerly awaiting your response.
>A battle raged on within your mind.
>You had only two options.
>Being the logical anon that you are, your mind chose the most obvious one.
>You took in a deep breath and turned to the mare.
>You looked directly into her eyes.
>Those beautiful eyes.
>You'd never forget them.
>You finally spoke.
"I'm sorry, Applejack. I don't."

>Silence
>Complete utter silence
>Well, other than the sobbing mare next to you
>It hurt to hear honestly
>However, you weren't gonna let pity get the better of you
>You had played this very conversation out in your mind many times
>You always liked to think of "What if?" situations
>The answer you gave hurt you just as much as it probably hurt Applejack
>But it was for the best, at least in your mind
>The distraught mare spoke up
>"W-why? Ah... Ah thought... *sob* you said you loved me..."
>You nodded
"Yes. I do."
>She stared back into your eyes
>"Then why?"
>You sighed deeply
>This wasn't going to be pleasant
>You continued to look into those deep emerald eyes
>The same eyes you fell in love with all those years ago
"Because what you did shattered our relationship, and honestly after all these years I don't think it can be repaired. I admit part of that is my fault. I'm sorry I shut you out. I'm sorry I moved out of Ponyville. But I did those things because I knew that if I had tried to talk to you again, it would have only strained our friendship even further."
>Her tears continued to flow, though her eyes never left your gaze
"I've always been a hopeless romantic in the past. Always thinking that the very few girlfriends I had would come back to me after breaking it off with me. So much so that whenever I talked to them I'd give subtle hints that I still loved them and that I still wanted to be with them. Hell, some of them I even flat out begged them to take me back. Every single time that happened, our friendship fell apart because I wasn't mature enough to move on."
>Your gaze finally broke those sad eyes
>You couldn't take it anymore
>It hurt too much to see
"I didn't want that to happen with us. So I decided the best course of action would be to avoid you. I wouldn't have to bear the heartbreak of being with someone I could never have, and you wouldn't have to be brought down by my whiney hopeless romantic bullshit."

>The sobbing mare shakily choked out her response
>"B-but... Ah don't understand. You love me. Ah'm willing to fix our relationship. Aren't you?"
>You looked back down at her and sighed
"Willing? Yes. But I've already told you. I don't think we can fix our relationship as a couple. If we tried, we'd just end up breaking up again down the line. I don't want to feel that heartbreak again."
>Applejack said nothing in response
>She looked away from you as her sobs slowed down
>You stared down at your hands in an attempt to ignore the pain Applejack was in
>You weren't going to let your resolve break
>Still, you wanted to say something
>Anything to make her feel better
"That doesn't mean I don't want to be friends."
>Her head perked up at you
>"Huh?"
>You met her eyes once more and continued
"I know I've spent all this time avoiding you. Ignoring your letters. All that junk. I did it because I needed to get over you, and being around you or thinking about you 24/7 wasn't going to help. But, well I missed you. I missed you a hell of a lot, and not just as my marefriend. Like you said, we were best friends before we started dating. I never wanted to lose that. I just needed time to get over it."
>Her crying had calmed down significantly
>She wasn't smiling just yet, but it was definitely an improvement
"I'm not ready to try dating you again, Applejack. In fact I very well may never be ready. It still hurts to think about. But I AM ready to be your friend again."
>You put an arm around her and pull her into a tight hug
"I'm sorry, Applejack. I miss you and I want my best friend back."
>It almost felt like she was going to resist the hug at first, but as you gently massaged her back she leaned into it and threw her arms around you in return
>You gently whisper into her ear
"If you don't want to be friends anymore, I understand."
>She was quick to answer
>"No. I don't want to lose you as a friend again."
>The two of you sat for what felt like hours in a tight embrace

>The two of you sat quietly for quite some time
>The light from the windows had dimmed as day turned to night
>After another round of drinks, the mood had brightened somewhat
>the pain you both felt was still there, but now it was overshadowed by nostalgia
>"Hey, remember when you dared Rainbow to..."
"How about that time you got so drunk..."
>"Man I sure do miss those pranks we used to pull..."
"Been a while since I've been to one of Pinkie's parties..."
>The two of you slowly began to smile as the night wore on
>You were now feeling the effects of the alcohol
>You weren't drunk yet, but you definitely had a good buzz going on
>All in all, you felt much better than you did hours ago
>You forgot how fun hanging out with Applejack was
>At least, when you weren't sulking over heartbreak for once
>The night continued on
>Applejack looked at the clock and gasped
>"Shoot, Ah gotta catch a train back to Ponyville."
>Her voice was sad and disappointed
>You felt pretty disappointed too
>Just when things were getting fun too
"Well, okay."
>The mare pulled out her coin purse to pay her tab
>Despite her stubborn arguments, you insisted that you would take care of it
>You said your goodbyes and she walked towards the exit
>Before she left, she turned back
>"Anon?"
>You turned to look at her.
"Yeah?"
>"Um, you should stop by Ponyville sometime. We all miss ya, and Rainbow says you owe her a rematch."
>You giggled as you remembered the last drinking contest you had with her
>Pegasus ponies were such lightweights
"Yeah, sounds fun. I'll come visit you guys sometime."
>She gave a sad smile and left the building
>You turned back to the bar and smiled as you thought of those beautiful emerald eyes
>Maybe you should go to Ponyville soon
>It'd be nice to see everyone
>Before you pay your tab, you ask the bartender to bring you a bottle of hard apple cider
>Made with the best damned apples in Equestria
>Courtesy of the mare you loved