Flowers For Gooda (Extract)

Progress Report 1 March 1

Dr. Ashtin is very nice! He gave me a book with nothing in it. Dr. Ashtin says it's a diary but I didn't know what a diary was so I asked him. Dr. Ashtin told me it's for people to write down what they think. Dr. Ashtin says I should write down what I think from now on. I don't know why but she says it's important so they will see if they will use me. I hope they use me. Mister Huxtin says maybe they can make me smart. I want to be smart. My name is Laura Slem. I'm 26 years old! I'm a Wurm! I have nothing more to write now so I will close for today. Wait a minute Dr. Ashtin said I could have ice cream when I'm done I'll go ask him for ice cream! YAY!!! I hope it's the kind with almonds because it's my favorite and mommy gives me icecream when I'm a good girl.

Progress Report 2 March 2

I had a test today but I think I failed  it. And I think they won't use me. What happened is a nice young man was in the room and he had some white cards and ink spillled all over them. He said Laura what do you see on this card. I was very scared even though I had my teddy in my claw because when I was a kid I always failed tests in school and I spillled ink to.

I told him I saw a inkblot. He said yes and it made me happy. I thought that was all but when I got up to go he said Laura we are not done yet. Then I don't remember so good but he wanted me to say what was in the ink. I didn't see nothing in the ink but he said there was pictures there other people saw some pictures. I couldn't see any pictures. I tried. I really did.  I held the card close up and then far away.Then I said if I had my glases I could see better I usually only wear my glases in the movies or TV but I said they are in the closet in the hall. I got them. Then I said let me see that card again I bet I'll find it now.

I tried hard but I only saw the ink. I told him maybe I need new glasses. He wrote something down on a paper and I got scared of faling the test. I told him it was a very nice inkblot with little points all around the edges. He looked very sad so that wasn't it. I said please let me try again. I'll get it in a few minutes because I'm not so fast sometimes. I'm a slow reeder too in Mistur Huxtin class for slow adult mamano but I'm trying very hard. Please let me pass.

He gave me a chance with another card that had 2 kinds of ink spilled on it red and blue.

He was very nice and talked slow like Mister Huxtin does and he explaned it to me that it was a raw shock. He said people see things in the ink. I said show me where. He said think. I told him I think a inkblot but that wasn't write either. He said what does it remind you-pretend something. I closed my eves for a long time to pretend. I told him I pretend a fountain pen with ink leaking all over a table cloth. He stopped talking and started to walk away.

I don't think I passed the raw shock test.

Progress Report 3 March 3

Dr Ashtin and Dr Toyo say it don't matter about the inkblots. They said that maybe they will still use me. I said Mister Huxton never gave me tests like that one only spelling and reading. They said Mister Huxton told that I was his bestest pupil in the adult night school because I tried the hardest and I really wanted to learn. They said how come you went to the adult night school all by yourself Laura. How did you find it. I said I asked people and somebody told me where I should go to learn to read and spell good. They also said please stop crashing into thing and why did you want to learn. I told them becaus all my life I wantid to be smart and not dumb. But its very hard to be smart. They said you know it will probably be temporary,I said yes. Mistur Huxton told me. I dont care if it hurts, I want to be smart so bad, just once.

Later I had more crazy tests today. The nice lady who gave it to me told me the name and I asked her how do you spell it so I can write it my progress report. THEMATIC APPERCEPTION TEST. I dont know the first 2 words but I know what test means. You got to pass it or you get bad marks. This test looked easy because I could see the pictures. Only this time she didnt want me to tell her the pictures. That mixed me up. She said make up storie about the people in the pictures. I told her how can you tell stories about people you never met. I said why should I make up lies. I never tell lies any more becaus I always get caught and mommy says lies are bad.

 She told me this test and the other one the raw shock was for getting personality. I laughed so hard. I said how can you get that thing from inkblots and photos. She got sore and put her pictures away. Serves her right.

I don't care. It was silly. I guess I failed that test too.

Later some men in white coats took me to a different part of the hospital and gave me a game to play. It was like a race with a white mouse. They called the mouse Gooda. They say she is like me. I hope I can be friends with her. Gooda was in a box with a lot of twists and turns like all kinds of walls and they gave me a pencil and a paper with lines and lots of boxes. On one side it said START and on the other end it said FINISH. They said it was amazed and that Gooda and me had the same amazed to do. I didn't see how we could have the same amazed if Gooda had a box and I had a paper but I dint say' nothing. Anyway there wasnt time because the race started.

One of the men had a watch he was trying to hide so I wouldn't see it so I tried not to look and that made me nervous. I didn't mean to hit him with my tail, I swear. I'm sorry.

Anyway that test made me feel worser than all the others because they did it over 10 times with different amazeds and Gooda won every time. I didn't know that mice were so smart. Maybe thats because Gooda is a white mouse. Maybe white mice are smarter than other mice. I hope I can meet  Gooda again. Maybe she can help me pass the tests.