Mr Woo Land

So I am a retro Nintendo fan and I recently got my first iPhone after having a Samsung for several years. On Samsung I used to have several emulators to play old videogames.

I was looking on the App Store for some emulators, but I discovered that there weren't any, so I searched for retro-styled games. Many were dull and uninspired, however I came across one game called "Mr Woo Land." It was a gameboy-styled game with "similar gameplay to Banjo-Kazooie and Wario Land", two of my favorite games. I hastily bought it and tried it out.

I began at the logo screen and watched as the main character pug, Mr Woo, ran across the acreen as a spider character kidnapped another pug, appearing to be a girl. I could tell the game was very low-budget and poorly made, but I didn't care. I pressed the Start button and Mr Woo immediately appeared in the hub level. It was a generic city. The music was irritating and the graphics were poor, even though it was a gameboy styled game. Strangely, there were no people in the city, just cars. I found the entrance to the first level and entered. I collected some items and beat the first boss, a generic dragon. The game actually seemed pretty fun. Sometimes blocks would appear on screen and then disappear, which I speculated to be badly programmed text boxes. However, by the third level, strange things began to happen.

The third level was a beach. When Mr Woo entered an underwater portion, he couldn't swim. He just walked as if he was on land. I had to carefully move him through the underwater caverns and jump on the enemies without dying. In the fourth level, Mr Woo entered some sort of haunted tower. I beat the boss, collected items, but when U tried leaving, the level exit door that led back to the hub was gone. I was trapped. Mr Woo was just left there to listen to the music. I could almost see the poor dog frown. I decides to quit the game.

A while later, I reset the game. I made my way through the levels and collected enough items to bypass the fourth level. The fifth level was a city called Follywood. This was a generic city level which I beat after a few tries. The sixth and final level was Asiatown. At the end of the level, there was a giant tower, which seemed to be the villain's lair. The door was locked. I did not have enough items.

Because the game allowed you to recollect items, I was able to collect enough items to make it to the tower. Inside the tower, ghost enemies were everywhere, and it was hard for Mr Woo to avoid them. When he got to the top of the tower, the spider villain appeared, along with the girl pug from the title screen in a cage. I beat it rather quickly, but when I won, the cage containing the girl pug did not go away as it should have. Mr Woo then randomly got the flying powerup, completely forgetting his girlfriend. Another box appeared, this time containing text:
"IF I GO HIGHER, WILL I SEE FIRE?"
Mr Woo then appeared in another level. He could not fly and began flying for a very long time. I did a ground pound, which doubled his falling speed. For about thirty minutes, he was just falling. Suddenly, ghost enemies appeared. They gradually began appearing more frequently. Suddenly, Mr Woo hit fire and automatically died. A text box appeared with random strings of text. Suddenly, the game showed a .onion link. I got a Tor browser from the app store, and clicked the link.

It redirected me to Torflix, where a video began playing. It was static but flashed pictures of several gruesome things. Many were pictures of dogs being beaten and burned with battery acid, and even some pictures of the Isis beheadings were shown. I immediately deleted the app and lay down to process what I saw. I probably wont sleep ever again...