Temporal Shenanigans

>The usually vibrant colors of the world around you take on a dull gray tone as you walk through the Idyllic village of Poneville.
>All around you are the routine pones, doing their routine activities, and paying no mind to you in their motionless state.
>This is because you have transcended their dimension of being using a magical pocket watch that you found deep in the Everfree.
>It was just sitting in a chest, like some kind of video game.
>There was even a giant pone skeleton guarding it.
>Using your razor quick thinking, strength of ten men, and speed that would rival The Dash; you ran back to Poneville like a bitch and brought Twilight to deal with it.
>Luring her deep into the forest where the monster was waiting under the pretense of a steamy makeout session; her hax magic made quick work of what was surely at the very least a level 80 arch demon.
>As soon as her task was complete; you picked her up in a thank you embrace, violently hurled her as far into the woods as you could, and looted the chest before sprinting back to Poneville.
>Amidst the banging on your door above by a no doubt pissed of Princess; you tinkered with the watch in your basement.
>And came to the conclusion that this watch came from Castlevania.
>The watch had the power to freeze time with the press of a single button; a power you would use wisely.
>To get those bitches back for always trying to get in your pants.
>You're sick of these pones trying to have their way with your equal to, or greater than sick bod by force.
>It's not like you have anything against banging a horse; you're from the south after all.
>But goddamn; what happened to good old fashioned courting?

>The only one to attempt such a thing has been Fluttershy, and that's been through the woefully misguided pone custom of trying to guess your fetish.
>Pones are weird.
>And so today; you will be the rapist that lurks in the darkness.
>You will show the mares which have given you the most trouble what it feels like to be objectified against your will.
>Molesting tiny equines for the good of mankind; dad would be so fucking proud.
>You're practically a superhero.
>Continuing your trek through the timeless void; you catch sight of Applejack tending to her stand with the bright smile of a salesperson; just as she does every day.
>Stepping into an alley; you click the watch in your pocket and head on over as time resumes it's normal pace.
>Reaching the stand just as the last customer in line wanders off with their apples and a happy smile; you slam one hand on the counter. and place the other in your pocket.
>She leans over to stare at you with half lidded eyes that just scream "I want your sweaty balls on my face".
>"Well howdy there; Sugarcube... Can Ah interest ya in'a nice slice'a apple pie...?"
>Christ it's like she gets her lines from old porn movies...
"Nope, just gimme a Cameo."
>Nodding with a hint of disappointment on her face; she reaches down to grab what you asked for.
>Clicking the watch in your pocket just as she picks it up; time folds in on itself with a warble.
>Walking around the now frozen Applejack; you check out her back legs that are hardened to a muscular sheen from all of her daily farm work.

>You're not really one to go for girls that can kick your ass, personally, but you have to admit she's got some tone goin on.
>Nodding approvingly; you reach out a hand and give dat flank a firm slap.
>The point of impact jiggles lightly; then returns to it's prior frozen state.
>You walk back around the stand and resume your prior position before clicking the watch again.
>The rush of noise from the market returns with a sharp yelp from directly in front of you.
>Your apple drops from her hoof as AJ whips her head around in sudden fury; her cheeks on fire and hat skewed to the side.
"...What's the problem?"
>Continuing to glance around in a huff as her flank turns a slight red; she responds angrily.
>"Nothin; just thought Ah felt somethin's all..."
>Raising an eyebrow; you motion to the apple that she dropped.
"Sooo..."
>She gives you a sheepish grin while hoofing the apple over.
>As you're preparing to take a bite; you tap the watch once more and repeat your actions; this time on her opposite flank.
>Time resumes with the same yelp as last time and an even more miffed look.
>Tearing a chunk out of the apple and chewing slowly; you point behind her at the colt Pipsqueek who happens to be walking by.
>You can't directly say it was him or she'd catch you in your lie, but simply pointing isn't really lying, is it?
>A low growl promising nothing short of bruises, but possibly broken bones comes from her throat as she stomps her way over to him.
>You chuckle to yourself as you walk away; hearing something akin to an artillery round being fired and a holler of pain with a European accent.
>You're doing gods work, Anon.

>Walking in to Sugarcube Corner; you immediately duck as a pink rocket sails over your head and out the door behind you.
>Standing and continuing on to the counter; Ponks poofy pink mane rises into your vision, followed by her grinning face.
>"I'll get you next time, Nonny!"
>You frown back with all of the inviting warmth of a punch in the face.
"And I'll get you with a kidney shot that'll have you pissing blood for a month."
>You really dislike the pink one.
>Like; kick her in the balls and then practice your arson technique on her writhing body, dislike.
>"Heh; whoa bro, what's got you in such a bad mood?"
>Turning around to face the brash voice that's hailing you as laughter erupts from the pink mare; you come nose to snout with your smirking Rainbro.
>Smirking back, you tap the watch in your pocket to stop the world.
>You've always wanted to do this, but she would wreck your shit if she knew it was you.
>Stepping behind her as she hovers above the ground motionlessly; you reach a hand towards one of her oh so delicate back hooves.
>Grasping it; you begin to poke and tickle the soft interior.
>It's all squishy like the pad of a puppy's paw; malleable with an even more marshmallow like consistency than the rest of her pone body.
>Having had enough of this after several minutes; you return to her front and continue smirking with newfound smugness.
>Time resumes it's forward flow with a deafening boom as the air before you that is suddenly empty rushes past, and pieces of the ceiling fall down around.
>The bubbly mare behind you begins to giggle even more uproariously as you turn back to face her.

>She eventually calms down enough to ask what you'd like, not that you particularly planned on ordering anything.
>"Don'tcha want some cupcakes, Anony Moose? They're super fresh from just a few minutes ago when I was back in the kitchen with Mrs. Cake baking all sorts of really great treats that everypony is sure to love because I made them with a smile and that's the best ingredient don-"
>Fuck; somewhere around the world there are starving zebras covered in flies, and here this bitch is rambling about cupcakes.
>The injustice of it all pisses you off to no end.
>Scowling down; you freeze time once more and hop the counter.
>Lining up your fist; you plunge it elbow deep into her cooter and violently thrust back and forth.
>Her mare juice sloshes loudly in the silence; adding a whole new level of disgusting to this endeavor.
>Withdrawing your now soaked hand; you wipe it off on her mane before hopping back to your original position and restarting time.
>"Uuunph..."
>A desperate shiver travels through her body as a wet splashing sound comes from behind her.
>Suddenly panting and red faced; she gives you a sultry smile and a wink
>Shaking your head in disgust; you proceed to the door.
>That didn't go as planned.
>"C-come back soon Nonny... I'll have a special treat, just for you..."
>Slamming the door shut moodily behind you; you round the corner before hitting the watch again and walking back in to claim your "special treat", in the form of the most delicious of cakes.
>Moving into the kitchen; you make sweet love to Mrs. Cake, because plump milfs that have such incredible cushion for the pushin are your fetish.
>As you zip up your pants outside the back door; you peek in to see her barely able to keep her twitching body standing as she huffs and bites her lip over the counter with a flushed face.
>"O-oh dear..."
>Patting yourself on the back for being able to reduce the mature mare to a sweaty pile of sex; you continue your quest.

>The Carousel Boutique.
>Gaudy home to the equally gaudy unicorn fashionista who creates the most gaudy clothes around.
>But for you; she does it for free, so you don't mind her too much.
>She's also pretty smokin, and it's hard to hate a cute face.
>Though you don't exactly appreciate being felt up by proxy from her magic as she takes your measurements.
>All she'd have to do is ask, and you'd give her a night she wouldn't forget; but there just doesn't seem to be a pone who isn't painfully awkward and, or disturbingly obtuse around the subject of sex.
>Tutting to yourself in disappointment; you approach the house/place of business.
>Ducking beneath her window, you listen as she hums to herself; fully concentrated on her work.
>Or trying to be and failing as her little sister runs in circles beneath her squeaking incessantly.
>"-nd then we tried to get our cutie marks in Karate, but Mrs. Cheerilee gave us all detention for hospitalizing Twist... But it's okay because that gave us a chance to get our cutie marks in assistant tea-"
>The kid's cute; certainly the most adorable of the trio she hangs around, with her high pitched voice that cracks when she gets too excited.
>Not that the others aren't adorable as well.
>Ya know; small Applejack and, uh...
>The Mexican orphan one.
>Finally becoming fed up with her prattling; the ivory mare slams a hoof down with an eye twitch; eliciting silence from the filly.
>"Dear, you know how I... Adore... Hearing about all of your wonderful ventures, but now is really not the time. I have a rather daunting order to fill, and this stress is simply wearing me down. Can't you find something to do quietly for a little while?"
>The filly beneath her looks down sadly before gaining a look of resolve and nodding.
>"Maybe I can help you with your stress, and get a stress relief cutiemark!"
>Click.
>Maybe she can.

>Walking into the boutique; you swagger over to the pair and fall to the floor beside them.
>Using your lowered position, you take in Raritys' perky pink pristine crotch tits.
>Leaning your head up, you motorboat the soft breasts for a bit before slipping a nipple into your mouth.
>Suckling gently, you enjoy the flavor of soap and vigorously cleaned flesh.
>With a light nip, you release the teat and rise to your feet; your work complete.
>Suck on that shit, Zecora.
>Stepping back outside; you duck beneath the window once more to peek in and watch the results of your efforts unfold with another click.
>"S-sweetie...!"
>The elder mare visibly tenses up with a bright blush coming to her face, as her sister beams up from beneath her questioningly; the very face of innocence.
>Rarity nervously shifts her weight from hoof to hoof while biting her lip; glancing around in embarrassment and a hint of shame for her thoughts.
>"Perhaps... Perhaps you can... I have no idea where you learned about such lewd methods of... Stress relief... But maybe we can put that knowledge to good use..."
>Picking the now very confused filly up in an aura of light blue magic; she abandons her work and begins trotting up the stairs with her tail flicking about behind her in arousal.
>Standing and beginning to walk away; you hear that squeaky voice coming from the second story window.
>"What're we gonna do on the bed, Rarity?"
>Incest is wincest.
>Mentally scarring the mares of tomorrow, today.

>Carrying on with all of the resolve of the wayward son; you know in your heart that there will be peace when you are done.
"Dunuh nuh nuuuuh , dunuh nuh nuuuuh, dunuh nununuh, nuh nuuuuh, nuh nuuuuh"
>Hopping down the street backwards on one leg towards the Princess of spaghettis' treebrary; you ignore the odd looks your air guitar is drawing from the pones around you.
>Bitches be ignant.
>Reaching your destination; you knock with your foot as you widdle and waah your way through the end of the song.
>The door is eventually opened by a very amused looking dragon with a raised eye...scale.
>"Heh; Anon, you're a little nutty; you know that?"
>Smirking down at him; you hold out a fist for a bump which is readily provided.
>Dragon bro may just be a kid; but he's usually more mature and bearable than most of the other residents of the town.
>"Yeah, and you're just little~"
>Chuckling; you step over the dragon who's now puffing his cheeks irately as he returns to shelving books, and grab a chair to sit down beside Twilight.
>Who is doing what else... Reading.
"Hey Twilight."
>She has an angry glare on her face, and is clearly trying to pretend that you don't exist.
>Scooting your chair a bit closer towards her; the glare on her face intensifies as her muzzle wrinkles adorably.
"Pretty purple princess pone people eater..."
>You coo at at her in baby talk that causes her eye to twitch in annoyance.
>A final scoot and you're practically leaning over her; each breath you take causing her ears to flick about from the airflow.
>Finally having had enough; she slams her book shut and turns to face you.

>"...Anonymous."
>The frown that she's wearing turns into an outright scowl, as her eyes narrow to burn a hole through your head with their intensity.
"Hi."
>Her normally straight and well maintained mane begins to randomly spring out in places; a sure sign that she's reaching the end of her tolerance.
>"Is there something I can help you with? Something that maybe won't lead to me being thrown into the forest like week old garbage!?"
>Hah; is that what she's mad about?
"Twilight, listen... I'm sorry about that. I really did want to snog your face right the fuck off; but that skeleton thing was just so spooky. I wasn't acting rationally."
>She huffs and turns away from you in a childish pout.
>"No you didn't; nopony wants to kiss me. I'm just the egghead librarian"
>That's true.
"That's not true... Alright; look. Let me make it up to you; close your eyes."
>She still looks pissy, but you can tell that you have her attention from the way she has one ear cocked down in anger, and the other raised in curiosity.
>"Is this a trick...?"
>It wounds you to your very core that she thinks you would attempt to fool her twice in one day; you thought you had a better reputation.
"Would I do that to you?
>Biting her lip and looking around apprehensively; she takes a deep breath and does as you ask.
>Turning to face you with her eyes closed; you can see her lips trembling in expectation.
>Glancing behind you to make sure that Spike is looking elsewhere; you tap the watch to grind time to a halt before getting up.

>Walking over to the dragon who seems to be stuck mid vexed mumble; you pick him up and take him back to where you were sitting.
>Setting him down before the almost puckering Princess; you squeeze his cheeks to make him kissy face himself, and scoot him closer until their lips are touching.
>Your bro deserves this; Rarity will never give him the time of day.
>Running out of the tree; you slide beneath the window before resuming time and giggling like an idiot at the romantic comedy sitcom situation you just created.
>Spike continues to mumble into Twilights' mouth for a moment before his eyes widen in horror as she dreamily opens her own.
>"WHAT THE HAY!? THAT'S SO GROSS!"
>He starts making spitting noises and wiping his mouth in disgust.
>The dreamy look on Twilights' face returns to one of smoldering rage, but not for your sake this time.
>"And just what do you mean by that!? I should be the one saying gross; when exactly is the last time you brushed your teeth!?"
>You snicker quietly for a moment or two before feeling a tap on your shoulder.
>Turning around with an idiotic grin; your gaze catches on long slender legs of the purest white.
>Trailing your stare up; you meet the pink eyes of Celly herself as she stands beside her sister.
>"Hello there, Anonymous. You seem to be in a good mood today."
>Chuckling to yourself once more; you nod in agreement as you wave to the midnight blue alicorn standing shyly to the side.
"Yeah; it's a good day. Sup Lulu?"
>Her eyes glance around nervously before locking with your own as she gives a small smile.
>"Greetings, Anonymous. We-I hope you are well."
>Your response is cut off before it starts by a small purple projectile being launched through the window at breakneck speed.
>A purple head leans out a second later to yell at the now grounded and groaning Spike.

>"I'll have you know that most stallions would be ECSTATIC to kiss me!"
>Yeah; okay.
>The royal sisters turn in distress to your dragon bro, who didn't come out of this as well off as you'd hoped.
>Gonna have to give him some pointers on lady killing later.
>While they're facing away from you; you catch sight of that sweet, immortal plot beneath astral tails.
>They haven't ever really bothered you, but you consider this the EX level; another challenge to be vanquished.
>Clicking the watch; you first walk up behind Luna and lift her tail to take in her slightly more plump rump compared to her sister.
>Wow; it's in good shape for being as old as she is.
>You figured there'd be no tread left on the tires; hotdog down a hallway tier meat flaps.
>But nope; it's smooth and puffy with just the perfect hint of pink that you'd expect from a mare in her late teens.
>Nodding in admiration; you lean down and give a long lick to the cooch that is probably the wet dream of every stallion at some point in their life.
>Yup.
>Tastes like vagina.
>What did you expect.
>Smacking your lips appreciatively; you move over to the more slender frame of the elder alicorn.
>Lifting her tail, you see that her behind is in much the same shape, if slightly more lean; a world greater than what you were expecting.
>Leaning over; you flick your tongue lightly over her puckered star of an anus.
>Surprisingly, it tastes like how roses smell; a delicate sweetness that's only barely noticeable on your tongue.
>That has to be cheating.
>Satisfied with your conquest; you duck beneath Twilight once more and resume time as the alicorns in front of you freeze up.

>Celestia is the first to turn back; lip quivering and tears building in her eyes as her ears fold sadly.
>Huh; who knew she'd be this upset to have a simple, unexpected tongue lashing on her asshole?
>Yeah, maybe you can see where she's coming from.
>You point up at Twilight and shake your head like a fed up geezer.
>"M-my faithful student... *sniff* W-why...?"
>She doesn't bother waiting for an answer; taking to the sky with teardrops falling in her wake.
>"W-what!? Princess Celestia, he's fine; I promise! Please wait!"
>Flapping into the air after her mentor and trying to do some damage control; she doesn't even notice you beneath her.
>Laughing to yourself while Lulu stomps her way over; you quiet down as her muzzle leans down to you.
>A single sniff of your breath, and her cheeks light up.
>"Anonymous... T-that was most unexpected... But not unpleasant. Would you care to... Join us for a meal this evening? Perhaps we can further discuss your actions here."
>She nervously waits for your reply as you consider her offer.
"Yeah; why not. It's pretty rare to be asked out for dinner before having hooves trying to unzip my pants."
>Getting up, you walk behind the Princess of the Moon as she leads you off into the sunset with a happy smile.
>Today you learned that manipulating time to molest pones gets you dates with a Princess.
>Now you know, Anon.