Hilariously Bad Lagi TF

“Hoy!” the newcomer character shouted. His arrival notified the other locals in Moga Village. The three friends in their heavy equipment all gathered around the returning hunter. “So how was the Royal Ludroth hunt, Derek? Got the dash extract you need?” asked the one in the purple reptilian armor. Derek looked at his fellow hunters. The one who greeted him first was wearing the Jaggi set. “Hey Loid,” he greeted. “Yeah, I got some.” The next dressed in battle armor waved, “In that case, I need to get a quest done.” The last in a Barroth set spoke, “I think we can take down that Lagiacrus.” Barry poked at the iron part of his shoulder piece. “With our casual hunter armor, Jones?” he questioned, “We’ll get our ass kicked! You may be ready but maybe after we put something better on.” The hunter armored Derek unsheathed his sword. “Not me. All I need is my trusty shield.” The rest of the group checked out their own weapons. Loid pulled his iron great sword from behind his back, Barry displayed his bone switch axe, and Jones unsheathed his razor sharp lance and bulky shield. “Are you sure your weapons can take down a sea monster?” Barry asked him. Derek looked away and up to the sky. He was scratching his chin, “Well, I suppose we should gather materials first.” As everyone put their weapons away, Derek began walking over to the stairs to the entrance to Moga Woods. “In that case, let’s do Barry’s quest. Gather ten monster guts, right?” Loid then interrupt him by holding out his arm. “Hey. You’re forgetting something,” he reminded. Derek sighed and held out his hand. The two gripped each other’s forearms. “Live by the Hunters, for the hunters,” the two shouted. After their rally, everyone marched toward the bridge that leads to the Deserted Island.

The ocean waves splashed along the cliff side as the four hunters journeyed to the bottom side of the hill. The giant moon hovered over the land, reflecting the sparkling waters. They ignored the Aptonoth, the herbivores of this area and continued to march on. What they were after was the ocean. Derek then had to ask. “So where do we find these monster guts?” Jones began running slower to catch his breath. “We’ll find them in those smaller monsters Ludroths. They’re the smaller versions of the Loyal Ludroth and they do not have a giant sponge around their necks. You’ll find them near the waters.” They then passed a group of small Jaggis barking at them. “Are they this annoying?” Derek asked his group. No one bothered answering him on that question. When the whole team reached the beach side, they all took a short stop. Barry then turned to the rest of them. “Okay, so here’s the plan. Derek and Loid will check area ten while Jones and I hunt some here. Put your hands together now.” Everyone held out their hand to perform a synergy symbol. When they finally let go, they dived in one by one into the sea. Swimming on the surface, they breathed heavily with each stroke. Both Derek and Loid broke off from the group to swim towards the cliff side. The two finally arrived deep within the backside of the island. Loid notes to the Derek, “It is said that there is an underwater cave around here.” Derek nods, “Alright. Let’s get this quest done and over with so we can go home and prepare to kill those mooks!”

The two hunters dived underwater. A large blue consumed their surroundings as they relied on the moonlight to show them their surroundings. A few relaxing Ludroths took notice of the two hunters. The Jaggi armored swimmer drew his great sword at one of the incoming sea creature coming his way. Before it tried to bite him, he swings his blade from under to smash its neck. Derek joined in and grab hold the next monster and stabbed its head as much as he can. The two took out their holstered carving blade and checked the insides. Loid gave a thumbs up to Derek to let him know he got some monster guts. Derek signaled the same. Before the two tried swimming up, they noticed something sparking bright from afar. It was like sparks of lightning heading their way. What appears seemed to be a giant blue sea serpent arriving their way. Loid recognize that snout and the horns on its head and back. His face bursts with air bubbles out of panic and swam up high. Derek knew this was a big deal, so he followed his ally and tried to get out of the waters. Before Derek managed to reach the surface, something bitten his leg. The giant sea monster grabbed hold of him by its mouth! He was pulled deeper into the bottom where he loses sight of his partner and can only see darkness below.

Loid splashed up to the surface. He pulled out the waterproof quest document. “A Lagiacrus?! This island was reported to be stable today! What the hell’s going on?” He looked around to make sure Derek would swim to the surface by now. “Derek? Dude, where are you?” He sank his head underwater to find the empty waters. Pulling back up, he began to panic. “Oh god. I have to warn the others!” He takes out what seems to be a sort of a small flute/ Meanwhile, Barry and Jones walked off the beach covered in seaweed. “Can’t believe we only found eight monster guts,” Barry confirmed, “Now we can finish the quest.” At that moment, the two hunters heard a loud but high pitched whistle that covered the whole island. “Wait, that’s Loid’s beacon!” Jones realized. The battle armored leader rose his finger, “Something must have happened to the two of them. Come on, we must hurry!” The two dived back into the sea and swam as fast as they could to the calling partner. Back to Loid, he waited for a brief period. “I should probably look for Derek. I can’t spare to waste another second!” He took a dive down below and began searching under the canyon. He notices a bright blue cavern up ahead. That must be where that beast must have taken him!

Derek was filled with dread when the monster took them into the underwater cavern below. The Lagiacrus lets go of his leg, dropping him down to the piles of rocks and bones. Derek shielded his face with his buckler. “Ah! Don’t eat me!” While his shield was raised up, he awaited for a response. However, the giant serpent only stared back at him. It wasn’t like an entertained stare. It was more like a grudge kind of feeling. Those reptilian eyes looked over at his sword and shield then back to the captive. It was as if the blue scaled monster was envious of the human. The Lagiacrus then started to choke up something from its long throat. It then slowly opened its maw with something shiny inside. Derek could not believe his eyes. It was a sapphire that sparkled as blue as the sea itself. Suddenly, the beast slammed its hand on top of Derek’s neck. The hunter tried his best to breathe for air. The serpent squints its eyes as if it was expected him to do so. Taking advantage of the situation, the Lagiacrus hovered its mouth over the human’s before slamming its mouth against his. Derek panicked as the monster shoved down the sapphire through his esophagus. Just then, Loid slashed to the surface to witness the last few seconds. “Derek!” The Lagiacrus then releases the downed hunter from the ground and backed away from him. It shifts its body towards the entrance of the cave and started crawling. It gave Loid what appears to be a satisfied glance before diving into the water portal.

Barry and Jones were knocked to the walls of the underwater tunnel when the Lagiacrus bursts between them. They all watched it swim outside and back to the endless trench. Loid reminded the other hunters to check on Derek. When they rose to the surface, they found their friend unconscious. Loid ran towards the lying partner and lifts him over his shoulders. “We have to get him out of here. You got two spare farcasters?” Both Barry and Jones handed their farcasters. They also handed him their collected monster guts. Loid sprays the location of the green fog over him and Derek until their being was no longer seen. Loid then found himself back at the camp site. Delivering the monster guts, a horn was heard over them. A hot air balloon was heading their way. It would probably take an estimate of one minute for them to arrive to the island. The Jaggi armored hunter pulled Derek onto the bed. “Hang in there. We’ll get you checked!” He prays for him on the bed for his health, with both Barry and Jones running behind them.

The afternoon skies had seagulls calling over the village. Loid waited for Derek to awaken from his coma. Jones entered the room, “How’s Derek?” Loid looked down, “He hasn’t woken up since.” Loid took his thoughts back to when he found the Lagiacrus doing something to Derek. He couldn’t deduce what happened at those last moments. Was it eating him or something? All he knew was that the Lagiacrus did something to injure his friend. Jones sat next to Loid, “The doctor say anything good?” Loid nods, “He says he will be fine. There was nothing abnormal to his injuries.” Soon, Derek started coming to his senses. “Huh?” was his first words. The two awaiting hunters shifted their heads to the waking one. “You’re alive!” Loid claimed. He gave him a hug by relief, “I thought you were going to die when I lost you!” Derek then started coughing, “Agh! Careful, my neck still hurts! I barely suffocated today!” Jones then pointed his index finger up, “You were out since last night. The day’s almost over.” There was a sudden pause from the recovering hunter. “Think you two could get me a glass of water? I’m feeling really thirsty.” The two rescuers stood up. “Alright,” Loid obliges, “but take it easy for now.” When the two hunters left, Derek felt his throat with his hands. “...That thing shoved a sapphire into my mouth. What was that all about?” He was considering surgery, but that would cost a lot of zenny to remove from him. The bigger question was why the Lagiacrus bothered giving him its gem. “I suppose one rock wouldn’t damage my digestive system, right? I’m sure it’ll leave my system eventually.”

He was feeling really parched. “What’s taking those two so long!” A couple of footsteps were heard with the Jaggi armor character walked in with two glasses of water. “Sorry about that. We had to help someone pick up, so I decided to go ahead and bring both-” Derek didn’t hesitate to take the water and chug both of them down. “Thanks.” He looked at his dried up skin. There were a few crack-like marking all over his forehand. In surprise he gasped and hid it. Loid picked up the two cups. “What’s wrong?” Derek looked around in the air. “Is it me or is it really dry in here? It’s really humid. I feel like my skin’s breaking.” Loid took a few breaths on his hand. “No, it’s pretty moist and chilly. You’d have to be a fish to dry up over here.”  This wasn’t making the hunter very comfortable. “Could... you get me more water?” Loid rose his brow. “What? Geez, I just got you two a liter’s worth. Are you alright in the head?” When Loid reached over his friend’s forehead, he felt a small static shock through his hand. “AGH!” Loid flipped back in pain. “Watch the bedsheet friction!” He began walking out the room. “Maybe you’re getting ill. I’ll be right back with more water.” When he bypasses the door cloth, Derek checked his palm again. This time, the painful nails were now talons. “What the hell?! What’s going on?”

At the orange sundown, Barry bypasses Loid from a noodle stand grabbing two extra glass of water. “Oh there you are,” he notices. He sits down by him. “How is Derek?” Loid had his hands on his head. It took several seconds for him to notice his leader. “Oh, it’s just you.” He then loses eye contact, “Something’s been bothering me since that last hunt.” Barry decided to sit down next to him, “Well let’s hear it!” Loid sighed to himself. “Ever since Derek was recovered, he has been demanding an excessive amount of water. Normally I would assume from dehydration from the sea water, but two glasses are enough for one person. When I tried to check his temperature...” He cuts himself off. Barry nods to himself. “I’m sure he’s just needs plenty of rest. Even though only a few minutes in blankets makes anyone feel better, that won’t cure post traumatic syndromes. I hope that didn’t traumatize him too much.” Loid gets off his seat, “I should go. He wants his water.” Loid leaves his seat and walks over to the houses. Entering through the cloth door, he saw Derek hide himself under his blankets. “I got your water. Surely you must feel refreshed once you had these.” he assumed. Derek began to tremble and reached out for the cup. Loid only saw something else reach for the glasses. “Are those scales?” Derek retracted his so called hands.  “Oh uhh...” Loid snaps his fingers, “Lucky bastard. You grabbed some scales when that thing stitched you? Now I know you gathered ahead of us!” Derek shook his clothed head, “It’s not like that. It’s...” Intense pain then overcame his body. Loid noted something odd about him. “Hey man. Are you okay? You don’t seem to be yourself right now.” Those last words decided Derek’s next course of action. He then hops off from the bed and jumped out from the bedroom window fast enough for Loid to get a look at him. “Hey Derek!” Loid called, “Wait! Where are you going?!”

Derek continued to run down through the docks. Looking at his hand, it was no longer human. It was a large scale flipper. He can hear his human friend calling him back. (I have to get away from here!) His legs were suddenly much harder to keep straight as they formed shorter and more restrictive. He was close enough to the edge of the dock that he threw himself into the ocean. Loid was getting closer to his destination. “Derek!” he shouted while forming a cone over his mouth, “Where are you? Answer me!” Derek began to freak out. (I can’t let him see me like this! I can’t let this scar him!) He slammed himself to the bottom of the docks. For some reason it calmed the surface of his body. The majority were covered in turquoise and pearl white scales. (No. My body! Its...) He had to swim away from his home. The hunter’s swimming pattern changed from breast strokes to a slither to make him more agile. His tailbone extended to slowly form into a miniature tail. Going through the cold waters, he could see his own snout developing painfully before his face. (Am I... turning into that monster?) His memory of the Lagiacrus flashed into his mind. Once he was sure he was far away, he saw a nearby island to rest. He reached the beach with his flipper hands. His armor pieces were restricting the rest of his torso from growing. His hair started falling off his head where it was replaced with two horns. Soon, his armor broke apart by his back covered by his electrical spikes. (My armor!) Finally his tail and snout was fully developed. (I can’t watch anymore! It’s just a nightmare! Please disappear!) He rose to the surface, covering his human iris from witnessing his mutated transformation. (No... please stop...) When he reopened his reptilian eyes, his instinct gave him the will to breathe in deeply. (Please! STOP!) He roared to the sky with all his power coursing through his chest. Far away from the island, a hunter could heard that same roar. Loid looked over to the horizon. He instantly dismissed it and gave up looking. “Derek... Where are you?”

The giant monster looked at the faraway Deserted Island and decided to set his destination there. (I need to see this for myself.) Once he arrived to the beach side, he ran to the closest water puddle. The streams of water only show a face of a Lagiacrus to him. (It’s true. I am a monster now.) Trying to sit upright, Derek stumbles upon his tail which caused him to slip to the side. He was starting to squirm like a fish. (God damn! How do I get up with that spine of mine?) Finally pushing himself back up, he looked around and decided to lay on the beach side. (Maybe it’s just a nightmare. If I goto sleep, maybe I can reawaken as a human again. It’ll pass through my system. Right?) Once the beast drifts to slumber, it felt like minutes when he opens his eyes to find the morning sun shine over. He checks his scaly chest. (No! It’s not a dream. It’s a living nightmare!) He checks his reflection at the puddles again. The serpent slams its claw to the sand. (DAMN.) Derek looked over his deformed hand. (Barry. Jones. Loid...)

Loid stayed in his bed when the sunshine brightened over his torso. Barry then walked into his room, “Hey. We have to leave early.” Loid shook his head, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen Derek since last night.” The battle armored hunter picked his shoulder from his bed, “We have to go. Jones is already on lookout for him. Don’t worry.” Loid nods soullessly, “I suppose.” When they both exited the house, they looked over to the wide ocean horizon. Getting onto the piers, Barry gave a huge exhale. “Well pal,” he noted, “Time to take down that stupid mud thrower in the deserts today.” He held out his hand. Loid was pulled from his thought, “Oh. Right.” A small splashing from not too far rose a head of a beast from the waters. The Lagiacrus Derek carefully analyzed the two departing hunters preparing their motto. (Why? Why was I taken from my hunter life!?) The two humans grab hold of each other’s arms. “Live for the hunters, by the hunters.” The monster could not help but look into its own hands. The sight of such terrifying deadly claws only caused agony in the monster. (I want to be human again. To be with my friends. But now, I...) His terrible eyes developed his own tears. (I can never give them my hand what was once my symbol of trust, our symbol of our code, and what made us into comrades.) The flippers slammed back into the water. (I want to be human again. I just want to return home. I want to be with my friends.) With his depression overwhelming the beast, it slowly sank back into the lonely surface. When Barry entered the ship first, Loid looked over to the waters. He sighs and joined his comrade to the boat.

Derek arrived back to the shore of his new location. He can feel his stomach rumbling on him. (I need to eat. What the heck am I supposed to eat? All of my food is back at the village.) He explored deeper into the woods. A few Jaggis were barking at him as he passes by. (God even when I’m a beast, they are still annoying!) Closer to the forest roamed tons of Aptonoths. He had an idea what he would do, but he felt squeamish about it. (Am I supposed to just kill and eat them raw?) He looked at the stream under him. (Maybe if I used this small waterfall stream I can slide myself to them and strike them while they’re eating.) He prepares his hands to push him over the waters. He starts slamming the ground to slide closer to the herbivores until a giant red wyvern overheard him and swooped down. (A Rathalos?) The Rathalos picked up the Aptonoth Derek was going after. He roared at the escaping flying monster. (You flying son of a bitch! That was mine!) The blue monster only laid his head to the floor as he watched the escaping herd flee deeper into the jungle. (Greeeeat. Now what am I supposed to eat?) He decides to turn back to the ocean. (Might as well try to learn how to swim properly while I hunt.)

When he arrived, there were slain Ludroths on the sand. (Huh? Someone was here. Looks like they were carved. Is a hunter nearby?) He began to lose his sense of security. (Might as well eat the rest of them. Can’t argue about free food.) He began to lose his appetite. (Should I even eat this raw?) His growling insides was desperate for food. He abandons his disgust and takes a few bite from its flesh. His iris shrinks with delight. (Oh wow! It’s quite good!) He was happily eating the remains of the dead yellow lizards. (I wonder if there’s anything else to eat?) He charged his whole body into the sea and swims for his prey. He finds a giant fish and instinctively bites it before it could escape. He was ripping the life out of his food and sucked its blood. (I should try the Aptonoths again. I wonder what they taste like?) He swims out of the waves and slithers over to the forest entrance with excitement. Only one was spotted in his vision. Derek checks the skies to make sure the Rathalos wasn’t around. (Good.) He made a mad dash at the grass eating animal and bit its neck. He felt power surging through him like lightning. His body electrocuted the poor animal as it fell, flinching. Finally, there was a whole meal all to himself! He began to sink his teeth into the dying herbivore. (Oh my god! This is the best thing ever!) He strips the meat piece by piece, covering his whole snout with his prey’s blood. He was contently full. He lays to his side and curls up. (Maybe this isn’t such a bad life. I could get used to living by the...) His mind retracted to his earlier times where he would be hunting with Loid, Jones, and Barry. They took down monsters like the Great Jaggi, the Barroth, and Gobul. He hesitantly rose back to his feets. (No! I’m not a monster! I’m human!) He started slamming his skull against the cliff side. (Damn it! This can’t be happening! I’m losing myself!) Slowly feeling sadness in himself, he covers his face with his flipper hands. (Guys, I’m sorry. I can no longer follow the ways of the hunter.)

Several months has bypassed him. He eventually figured out how to use his electrical powers. He would take over the once occupied underwater den as his new home. He would obliterate and eat any creature that stood in his path. The Lagiacrus would be controlling the sea with his tyranny. Day by day he starts forgetting who he once was. All that mattered was today and the days after. One morning the Lagiacrus decided to check his land territory only to find three other hunters in a search for something. He wanted them gone. The beast submerged and roared at the hunters from far away. One was wearing a Rathalos set. Another would be wearing an Agnaktor armor. The last would be wearing a Diablos set. They all brought out weapons he’s never seen before. Disregarding how he forgotten how they worked, he charged in headfirst over to the rest of the humans. They all laid down their trap tools, causing the sea serpent to be locked in place. They all brought out some sort of barrels with a small one being fused. Before he knew it, all of the barrels surrounded him in fire. The Rathalos hunter then slammed his charged great sword at his skull. Alas, he was defeated.

The hunters all congratulated each other. However, the one in the Rathalos set only looked back at the Lagiacrus. “It’s been a long time ago last I saw one of your kind,” he talked. “He gave me a spine-chilling grin. It was because of him that I never saw my comrade ever since.” The Lagiacrus intently listened to his words as he still remembers his old language. The hunter sat down near his flippers, “He was new to hunting. In our early days we fought such simple creatures. The Jaggi armor was my first.” The hunter then looked at the great sword behind his back. ”I remembered when he would boast about his shield. He thought it was all he needed to take on the world. Boy would I give to do our secret handshake again.” The sea monster widened its eyes before losing energy. It reached for him. It whined for his company. The Rathalos armored hunter looked back. “Huh?” He felt something familiar about him. He got up close to his talons. The other two hunters prepared their carving knives until they noticed their partner was trying to talk to the beast. The Rathalos hunter reached his hand out to him, “What?” The Lagiacrus inched closer to the human to grab his arm. It growled familiar syllables. The hunter whispered. “By the hunters... for the... hunters.” The beast exhaled and closed its eyes, finding peace with the surrounding hunters.

Loid knelt to the ground before slumping over the sleeping creature. “...Derek.” He slams his fist into the sand. “It was Derek.” The one in Diablos armor jumped, “What?! This stupid beast?” Loid got up and grabbed his armor against him, “God damn it, Barry! That was Derek! Didn’t you recognize our old handshake? Those words? WE JUST KILLED OUR FRIEND!” He pushed his leader and turned to the Lagiacrus. “Derek! I’m sorry! I... I didn’t know it was you!” The one in Aknaktor armor then pulled his knife out. “Well, we better carve him before the guild takes his body.” Loid then punched his helmet to knock him to the sand. “How dare you say that?! He deserves a human burial!” Barry pointed at their haul. “That large thing? We don’t have shovels! How do we...” His eyesight noticed another Lagiacrus in the ocean. “Look.” The rest of the hunters watched the other Lagiacrus arrive to the sea. Loid’s hands trembled. He pulled the giant sword from his back. “You... You caused all of this! You took my friend away, and for what?!” The opposing Lagiacrus gave him a smirk. That enraged the Rathalos armored hunter as he remembered that same smile months ago. “You BASTARD!” Making a charge at him, the other two hunters hesitantly drew their blades and aided their berserked ally. The Lagiacrus did not even move from its spot. The great sword impaled its chest. The sea monster fell to the ground. Barry took out his chart, “We completed the two Lagiacrus quest. The guild will arrive shortly.”

Before they prepared to carve, the serpent quietly roared to the three. Loid prepared his great sword. “Why did you turn Derek into you? WHY?!” It opens its mouth to speak, “You hunters killed many of my kind.” Both Barry and Jones could not believe what they are hearing. The monster continues, “You take away many and pry our skins for your petty shields and weaponry. You understood what it means to take from others and yet never understanding what it means to lose yours.” As it began what appears to be a laugh, Loid angrily held his hilt tight. The overswing charge strike executed the beast. Once the dead Lagiacrus decreased, everyone remained speechless. The two other hunters reluctantly brought out their carving knives and started gathering from the Lagiacrus. Jones then asked Loid, “What about Derek?” Loid began walking toward the campsite, “Carve him if you want. I don’t want to take anything from his corpse.” Barry then heads over to the other dead Lagiacrus and began carving with Jones looking back at Loid in a different light.

Loid was sitting on his bed all alone in his room which was once belonged to a friend he killed with his own hands. A few squeaking steps alerted him of the Diablos armored comrade entered in. “Hey.” Loid looked away at the moonlight. “I am in no mood to talk.” Barry then puts down a shining gem on his table. “This belonged to Derek’s. I believe you should hold onto it.” Loid didn’t bother looking back. Barry sighs to himself and sits down close to him. “I’m sorry you lost Derek today.” Loid looked at the waves that was under his loose flooring. “I never even got to say goodbye to him.” The leader then handed the sapphire to him, but it was engraved onto something. “Take it. A memento of him if you will.” He puts it into his hands, “It belongs to you. Do not forget that he remembered the ways of the hunter.” He prepares to leave. He then quotes, “By the hunters, for the hunters.” Once Barry made his exit, Loid puts down the gem and lays flat on the cold bed. Drifting into slumber, he imagined himself wearing his past Jaggi armor. He saw Derek’s smiling face before he relived his past adventures alongside Barry and Jones. Together they were the closest of hunters that dared challenge anything. That was the ways of the hunters.