Sunburn (one of my first, and is pretty bad)

Be forewarned, I use caps to place emphasis on certain words. You’ll find out why soon enough...

>Day Sunburn sucks in Equestria
>Be Anon the Burned.
>Shit hurts yo.
>Suffer through the triple-s.
>Whilst showering, and crying, you wonder what you did that brought all this suffering upon your person.
>After painstakingly finishing with your shower and subsequent morning tasks, you head downstairs for a bowl of cereal, and some aloe for the damn burn.
>Whilst rubbing the soothing ointment on yourself you hear a knock at your door.
>You decide to finish getting the ointment on before opening the door.
>When you open the door you see none other than Fluttershy.
>”M-m-my Anon.... You look rather aPEALing today.”
>Did this bitch just make a joke out of your painful ordeal?
“Flutters? Did you just make a horrible pun out of my sunburn?”
>”Why yes Anon, I did. What’s the matter? Can’t take the HEAT?”
>Dis pone right hur.
“You do realize that sunburn isn’t really from heat, right? But is actually from radiation from the sun?”
>”...Oh...”
>Flutters appears to have lost all of her momentum on the pun train, now’s your time to fight back.
“Hey Flutters, you okay? You look as though you’re BURNING up out there.”
>A look of acknowledgement passes Flutters face as she realizes that you can play the pun game as well as anyone else.
“What’s the matter? All of your puns RADIATE away?”
>”So puns aren’t your fetish anon?”
>If you weren’t so damn burned you’d be rockin a full boner right now.
>Better to let her down gently, so she won’t get her feelings hurt too bad.
>Also would be pretty hard to bone her with a full body burn anyways…
“Flutters, you’re a great mare, but you’re not the mare for me... I don’t think it would work out anyways, me being a human, and you being a pony and all...
>Fluttershy realizes that she is getting burned, and she is not very happy about it.
>“No! Darn it Anon! Anypony else would have the decency to not let a mare down so many times after she has given so much to just get the princess to increase the amount of UV radiation you received to give— ”
>She stops short in her rant when she realizes that she is letting some vital info loose.
“Flutters? Did you convince the princess to give me a full-body sunburn just so you could try out a few cheeky puns on me?”
>The guilty pone looks dejectedly at the floor. Wallowing in shame of getting caught.
>“Anon, I couldn’t help it. You know I love you. Why can’t you love me back?”
>That is quite the question isn’t it?
“Well Flutters, I can safely say that I love you… About as much as a whore loves the clap.”
>“Anon? What’s ‘the clap’?”
>That’s right. These are ponies, and they don’t have the clap…
“Let’s just say it’s a bad thing Flutters…”
>“S-s-s-so that was a BURN?”
>You have given up all hope of denying her what she knows she’s won.
“Alright Flutters you win.”
>Dejectedly, you let Fluttershy in, and prepare more aloe lotion.
>You’re going to need it if you are going to be,
>Painfully,
>Fucking Fluttershy.