Opposite Day

>As you lay down to take a light nap in the afternoon, something smashes through your window.
>You look over and see a brick sitting there on the ground.
"Who the fuck..."
>Stand up and stomp over to the door.
>When you open it, Fluttershy quickly flies in and slams her hoof down on your foot.
"FUCK!"
>You jump backward and grab your foot, then look at the fuming Fluttershy.
"What the fuck Fluttershy! You can't just come in people's houses like that!"
>She flies up so she's eye level with you.
>"You shut up you fucking asshole! I've had it with your dumb shit, stop pussyfooting around and fucking have sex with me already!"
>Jesus.
"The fuck is wrong with you Fluttershy?"
>"Nothing is wrong with me, but everything is wrong with you!"
>You take a deep breath.
>"I try so fucking hard every day to try to impress you, but all you do is cast me away as if I'm nothing! Am I nothing to you Anon? AM I NOTHING?!"
>She begins circling you as she rants.
>"It's always come here happy, go home crying, come here happy, go home crying, it's like it never ends-"
>Roll your eyes as she continues to whine and complain.
>As she rounds your face for the sixth time, you see that something's wrong with the mark on her ass.
>All of the butterflies are upside down.
>You grab her by the face and put her under your arm.
>"GET YOUR HOT MONKEY HANDS OFF ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT HUNK!"
>She beats on your side as you walk out of the house.
>Gotta get some help for this shit.
>Put your hand to your chin and stroke the beard you wish you had.
"Who usually knows what the fuck is going on?"


>You arrive at Twilight's treebrary.
>When you knock on the door, it lightly opens.
>Spike is sitting there in the corner with an exhausted expression on his face.
>Twilight is just laying on the floor, a puddle of drool forming where her open mouth is.
>"GOD DAMN IT ANON STOP CARRYING ME AROUND LIKE SOME KIND OF ACCESSORY THAT'S NOT ON YOUR COCK!"
>Fluttershy's outburst startles Spike and he quickly jumps up.
>Once seeing you, he smiles brightly.
>"Anon, something's really wrong with Twi-"
>He stops once seeing Fluttershy thrashing around under your arm.
>"It might be more than just Twilight then..."
"What's wrong with Twilight?"
>He walks over to Twilight and pokes her on the stomach.
>She lifts her head and looks at him.
>"Hey Spook. How you is?"
>"Twilight, you have a visitor."
>She stands up slowly, turning toward you.
>"Hi Anon, is dat Flutter...Flutters...Flutey?"
>Fluttershy grips your side.
>"THIS IS MY ANON! I WILL CUT OUT YOUR HEART WITH MY TEETH IF YOU EVEN TRY IT SISTER!"
>Twilight, too stupid to understand that Fluttershy had responded, begins sucking on her hoof.
>Well this was a bust.
>How can a retard help you solve this mystery?
"Spike, can you somewhat control her?"
>He looks at his friend as she circles a hoof around her horn, occasionally touching it and giggling at the sensation.
>"I... I can try."
"Good. We have to go round up the rest of the ponies that are like this because I'm damn sure there's some out there."
>He nods and walks over to you, waving Twilight over.
>She walks up to him and licks his head.
"Fluttershy."
>"What?"
>Look down at her.
"Will you not attack me if I let you go?"
>"Don't be a fuckin' idiot and I won't have to."
"Alright then."
>You release her and she drops onto the floor beside you.
>She stretches her body out and then glares at Twilight.
>You tap her on the ass and look at Spike.
"Is something different about Twilight's cutie mark?"
>He looks at it and squints for a second, then his eyes go wide.
>"It looks like the whole thing is turned upside down!"
>You point to Fluttershy's rear and he draws the connection.
>Fluttershy walks out the door and looks back.
>"Are we going to fucking go already or are both of you going to stare at our asses?"
>You sigh.
"This is gonna be an adventure."
>"Fuck your witty comments."
"Fuck you too Fluttershy."
>"Bet you won't."
>You shake your head and exit the treebrary.
>When all of you are outside, Spike points up at the sky.
>Look up and see that it's full of clouds.
>"It was Rainbow's job to do that today, where is she?"
>Twilight steps forward.
>"If I know Rainbow, the cranberries should definitely be ripe."
>Fluttershy's eye twitches.
>"Can we kill her?"
"No Fluttershy, we're not killing Twilight."
>She groans.
>"Yeah, okay. Let's go find Rainbow."
"Take us to her house."
>Fluttershy looks up at you.
>"Excuse me?"
>You sigh.
"Could you please take us to her house?
>"Fuck me in the ass first."
>She turns and lifts her tail, showing off her actually quite plump rump and what rests between it.
"I'm not fucking you in the ass."
>She turns back around and gives you a dirty smile.
>"Then I won't tell you where her house is."
>Spike shakes his head.
>"We don't have time for this."
>She looks at Spike.
>"Well then maybe you should convince your friend to shove it inside me so I can tell him where she lives..."
"Fluttershy."
>She looks back up at you.
>"Yeah?"
"I will fuck your asshole raw after all of this is over. You just have to help us do this."
>She smirks.
>"Okay. I'll take you there."
>She flies up to your face.
>"But you better keep your promise."
"I will."
>"I shitted!"
>You both look over at Twilight to see that she has in fact shat on the street.
>Spike covers his face with a clawed hand.
>"Alright all of you, follow me."


>You stand under Rainbow's cloud mansion.
"So how do we get up there?"
>A meek voice from behind you speaks.
>"U-um, why d-do you want to go up there?"
>You all turn around to see Rainbow Dash sitting there on the grass.
>"H-hi guys..."
>Her cutie mark is upside down as well.
"Hey Rainbow. We've got a bit of a problem here."
>"R-really? What's wr-wrong?"
>Fluttershy flies over to her.
>"Hey, quit being such a fuckin' baby and stand up."
>She immediately stands up, locking eyes with Fluttershy.
>"I-I'm s-sorry..."
>She looks down and tears stream down her cheeks, dripping onto the ground in front of her.
"Fluttershy, stop."
>Flutterbutter looks back at you and rolls her eyes before moving to the side.
>You walk over to Rainbow and kneel down.
"Rainbow Dash."
>She snivels and looks up at you.
"Please calm down. No one here is going to hurt you."
>Fluttershy mumbles, "Unless you're fucking stupid."
>You punch Fluttershy in the face and she stumbles backward, slamming into Twilight.
>Twilight screams, "GRAPES!"
>Lightly shake your head then look back at Rainbow.
"See? They're just a bunch of crazies."
>"Okay..."
"We have to take you with us now, because something is very very wrong with you and everyone."
>Her pupils shrink.
>"A-a-am I going t-t-to die?"
"No! No no no, of course not! But you have to come with us so we can figure out how to help you."
>Come to think of it, how the fuck were you going to help them anyway?
>Ehh, you'll find out eventually.
>Rainbow snivels again.
>"O-okay... Where are w-we going?"
"We have see if there are any other ponies affected by this."
>She snivels again and looks up at you.
>"U-um... I don't know if I can..."
>"UGH!"
>Fluttershy stomps her hooves on the ground.
>"We don't have all day!"
>Turn to her.
"Flutterbutter, I'll fuck you up if you don't shut up."
>She huffs and turns around.
>Shake your head and look back at Rainbow.
"Look, if I promise to protect you, does that make it better?"
>She smiles.
>"Y-yes..."
>You smile back to her and reach down, scooping her into your arms.
>She looks down at Fluttershy and Twilight when you stand up.
"There. Everyone good to go?"
>Fluttershy growls at Rainbow.
>Rainbow grips your arm tighter.
>Twilight uses her magic to draw a bug in the dirt.
>Spike touches her horn to cease the magic and then gives a thumbs up to you.
"Alright. Rarity next."
>Fluttershy looks up at you.
>"You got a crush on her too, you manwhore?!"
"YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH YOU YELLOW SHIT."
>She smiles.
>"I knew you didn't. She's too much of a bitch for you to handle."
>Fluttershy flies to the front of the pack and starts walking.
>Rainbow leans in to you.
>"She scares me..."
"She's not that bad. I'll keep you safe."


>You get to Carousel Boutique and Fluttershy bucks the door in.
"FLUTTERSHY YOU CAN'T JUST-"
>You stop once seeing the inside of her house.
>Trash and food are scattered all around the place and Rarity lays there on the couch eating some ice cream while looking at a magazine.
>She finishes the ice cream and throws the container onto the floor behind her.
>She looks over at all of you and smiles, showing off bits of food in her teeth.
>Rainbow whispers.
>"Ew..."
"Yeah."
>Spike tries to grab Twilight before she rushes ahead, but he misses.
>"T-Twilight, no!"
>All of you watch as she body slams into the pile of trash and starts swimming through it.
>"I'm a dolphin!"
>Spike waddles over to help her get off the floor.
"Rarity... What the fuck is all this?"
>She kicks a container over, its contents spilling out onto the floor.
>Both of you look at it.
>Fluttershy shakes her head and flies up.
>"I can't deal with this shit. Come get me when you're done."
>She leaves the house and you return your attention to Rarity.
"I'll repeat myself. What the fuck is all this?"
>"All what dear?"
>Rarity stands up on the couch, a few cups of tea that sat there spilling over.
>Her white coat is stained on many places and she has a menacing aroma of fish about her.
>Rainbow buries her snout in your arm so she doesn't have to smell it.
"Alright, turn to the side."
>She does and raises an eyebrow at you.
>Her cutie mark is upside down as well.
"Yup. Come with us."
>"Come with you? Why?"
>You look at Twilight who managed to make the mess even worse by pissing herself.
>Spike frantically tries to throw the trash she's soiling with her urine out of the way.
>Look back at Rarity.
"Well in short, you're all... different. And we have to fix you. So, we're going to take you to the town square and hopefully get you fixed."
>Twilight sits up.
>"My mommy told me my doggie was going to get fixed."
>Surprised she is able to form a full sentence, you ask,
"Really?"
>"Yeah, but he never came back. Will we come back?"
"We're not like your terrible mother, so you'll come back Twilight. But first, we have to get everyone out there."
>You walk over, grab Rarity by her greasy mane, and throw her out the door.
>She yells as she flies past Fluttershy who has a clothespin over her nose.
>"Are we going to go already? It smells like bunny shit that's been marinating in an artificial semen filled birdhouse for six hours. And don't ask me how I know that."
"Yeah sure, Spike get Twilight out of that shit."
>A few minutes of grunting and poorly disguised curse words, Spike gets Twilight out of the trash heap and outside with the rest of you.
>By then Rarity has stood herself up and now looks at you angrily.
>"Why did you have to be so rude about it? You could have asked me!"
"Fluttershy."
>Fluttershy flies next to Rarity and glares at her as if she had just eaten her newborn on a sandwich with peanut butter.
>Rarity quickly straightens up, her body still smelling of fish and shit.
>"On second thought, that action fit the situation perfectly."
>Fluttershy smiles and looks away.
>Rainbow lifts her snout from your arm and looks up at you.
>"Where a-are we going n-next?"
"Let's try to find Pinkie. I'm just dying to see what she'll be like..."


>You look under the last booth in SugarCube Corner.
"This is a waste of my fucking time."
>Rainbow nudges your chest with her hoof.
>"A-Anon, don't be mean to Pinkie."
"But she's not even here, why are we looking in these weird places?"
>A hoof slaps you in the ass and you turn back to see Fluttershy there.
>"Because she's a weird pony. You know this."
>Rarity groans.
>"Good heavens, what on earth is that terrible smell?"
>Stand up and turn to her.
"Did you finally smell yourself Rarity?"
>Ignoring your comment, she peers inside the kitchen.
>"I think I found her."
>You walk over to Rarity and smell cupcakes.
>Yeah, Rarity's definitely fucked if she thinks what she smells like is good and cupcakes are bad.
>Walk past her and into the kitchen where Pinkie sits at a small table set up in the middle of the room.
>Her mane is completely flat and she just stares at a cupcake on the plate in front of her.
"Pinkie?"
>She slowly looks up at you.
>In a monotone voice she asks, "Yes?"
"What's wrong with your hair?"
>"I didn't feel like touching it."
"...Okay. Could you stand up for me?"
>She gets out of the chair she's on and as she does you see that her balloons cutie mark is flipped upside down.
"I thought so... Pinkie you have to come with us."
>She walks over to you.
>"Where are we going?"
"The town square. Something's wrong with all of you."
>You point back out of the kitchen at Fluttershy as she screams at Rarity, saying that she smells like a dumpster filled with aborted foals.
>Pinkie looks up at you, still bearing no expression on her face.
>"Let's get this over with. I'm tired."
>She walks out of the kitchen slowly.
>Rainbow whispers to you.
>"She's just like her sister now."
>You smirk.
"It's better than how she usually is... All hyper and fucking annoying as shit."
>"That's not very nice."
>You start walking with the group back out of SugarCube Corner.
"I don't really care Rainbow. I'm just glad she's not like that right now."
>She lightly shakes her head and then rests it on your arm.
>When you all get outside, a voice yells out.
>"OH MY GARSH AJ, IT'S ALL YER FRIENDS IN ONE PLACE!"
>You turn to see a very happy looking Big Mac galloping over with an extremely bored Applejack riding on his back.
>Fluttershy shakes her head.
>"Oh great, why don't you just join the group of us freaks..."
>Big Mac rushes over and stops just in front of her.
>"Well if yer offerin', I'd gladly join!"
>He stands next to her and you see that both his and Applejack's cutie marks are upside down.
>Did it happen to the whole town?
>Usually when shit goes wrong, it's only to those six.
>But for it to happen to Big Mac also...
>This might actually be a problem.
>Fluttershy flies up to eye level with AJ as she lays on Big Mac's back.
>"Applejack, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why can't you walk on your own?"
>AJ stretches her body out and smiles.
>"Ah would, but that would require movin'..."
>She's lazy as shit.
>Fluttershy is about to say something else when you cut in.
"Alright, quit arguing. Let's just get to the town square, okay?"
>"Pancakes!"
>Look back at Twilight.
"Yes Twilight. Pancakes. Not let's get moving."
>All of you start walking to the middle of town.
>Rarity looks back as she walks.
>"So Anonymous, what exactly are you going to do when we get there?"
"I'll figure it out."
>Fluttershy quickly flies up to your face.
>"What do you mean? You're saying I've had to deal with all of these pathetic ponies and YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A WAY TO FIX THEM?!"
>You grab her by the throat and throw her down on the ground.
"I promised you I would have sex with you when this is over, shouldn't you be looking forward to that?"
>She nods.
>"Yes, but if you don't fix them then it'll never be over."
"True. You're forgetting something about Equestria though, it's fucking magical. So shut the fuck up and wait you impatient shit."
>Fluttershy gives you soul piercing glare.
>Then she flies up to your ear and whispers.
>"That was so assertive I came a little."
"Don't give a shit, get back down there with them."
>She sighs and lands next to Pinkie.
>"Hey, what's wrong with you?"
>Pinkie looks over at Fluttershy and tilts her head.
>"What do you mean?"
>The two of them stare at each other for a few seconds before simultaneously looking back forward.
>You finally reach the town square and sit down on a stair.
"Alright. Spike, how do you send letters and stuff?"
>"I use my dragon breath."
"We have to use your magical dragon shit to get a letter out to Princess Celestia."
>He pulls a piece of paper and a colored pencil out from behind his back.
"Where did you get... Never mind, doesn't matter. Tell Princess Celestia we need her presence here immediately."
>Fluttershy punches you in the side.
>You look a her.
>"You mean to tell me that we went through all this trouble to collect everypony and bring them here when you could have just contacted her after we found Twilight?!"
"I am not a smart man."
>Fluttershy groans.
"Alright Spike, tell her we need her here."
>"Okay."
>He writes it down and burns it with his breath.
>The smoke from the burnt paper swirls away.
>A few seconds go by and then a blue light appears before you.
>Princess Luna steps out from the light and looks at everyone.
>Her eyes stop on Twilight who licks her groin like a dog.
>"Sister is busy with paperwork... What is the meaning of this?"
>You stand.
"I don't know what the fuck happened to everyone here. All I know is they're acting the exact opposite of what they usually are."
>Princess Luna stands there waiting for an explanation.
>Point to Twilight who is still licking herself.
"Twilight is stupid."
>Turn to Pinkie who slowly blinks while staring forward.
"Pinkie is dull and boring."
>Look down at Rainbow in your arms.
"Rainbow is shy."
>Point at Fluttershy who growls at you.
"Fluttershy is an asshole."
>Look at Rarity who is on the far right away from everyone else.
"She finds filth attractive."
>Turn to Applejack and Big Mac.
"Applejack is lazy and Big Mac is energetic and talkative."
>You look back at the Princess.
"And all of their cutie marks are upside down."
>She looks at all of the ponies again and then back to you.
"And who knows how many others there could-"
>She stops you by raising a hoof.
>"Anonymous."
"What?"
>Luna smiles.
>From her smile alone you understand what has happened.
>The world starts to shake and vibrate and Luna flies up into the sky.
"GOD DAMN YOU AND YOUR FUCKING DREAM SHIT LUNA!"
>You sit up in bed and see Luna and Fluttershy sitting next to your bed, both of them giggling like crazy.
"YOU BOTH THINK YOU'RE REAL FUCKING FUNNY DON'T YOU?!"
>Fluttershy flies up and lands on your bed.
>"S-so about that anal sex promise..."
"FUCK NO!"
>Luna uses her magic to hold you down.
>"Tis a good thing it's opposite day."
>Fluttershy turns around and lifts her tail.
"I hate both of you."