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- <Look at you, you poor, poor little thing
- <Locked up in a jail cell, all alone with no one around...
- <Well except for that box and-
- “HE’S NOT A BOX”
- <Okay, okay, Jesus calm down man, okay let me get back at what I was saying
- “Go on”
- <Locked up in a jail cell, all alo- With your square-shaped friend and nothing to eat except chocolate ice cream and cookies
- <Why are you complaining again?
- “I wanted vanilla ice cream…”
- >The narrator turns to the audience
- <Would you like to know how Anon got into this situation?
- <When shit got serious enough to have him put in prison?
- <Why I am asking all these questions?
- <What’s up with Anon’s box?
- “IT’S NOT A-“
- <All of this begins a few days ago…
- >...
- >The scene shifts from the prison to a tree in the jungle
- >A little bug is eating a leaf on the tree
- >Suddenly, a monkey appears and eats the bug
- >…
- <Wrong scene, sorry guys
- >The scene changes into a mouse running from a cat
- <OH, OH, This is my favorite show! ….but it’s not time for this
- <I’m not going to lie, I’m changing scenes with a controller, so let me choose the right one this time...
- <Okay let’s see… this one not, this one either, yadda… yadda…
- >The scene finally focuses in what appears to be a city in a desert
- <Oh here we are, now on with the previously scheduled program
- Be Anonymous, Master Sorcerer of the dark magics
- >Well not really, you are just a single human who is in a mystical place where magical creatures live
- >Dragons, minotaurs, unicorns and more, it’s like if you just woke up in a fictional world filled with badass creatures
- >...Or a cartoon show, because there were a few ponies
- >It’s been a few weeks since you appeared in this world with no explanation
- >You are in a place you call Gerudo Desert, but the ponies called it Saddle Arabia
- >What are you doing here? Just adventuring, trying to figure out how to get back to your dimension
- >In the meanwhile, you’re also being a tourist
- >Every pony is always so kind to you, not giving a shit about you being an exotic new creature
- >It’s that, or you looked like an evolution of a minotaur
- >The best possible evolution, of course
- >You move to a building with a pyramid like look
- >Looks pretty good, too bad you don’t have a camera with you
- >You see two horses trying to lift some goods
- >Might as well help them, because why not? If everyone is kind, why not you?
- >You approach and say your greetings
- >”Quick you dumb head, or we’ll be late for the boss’s pla-“
- “Hello there, you guys look like need some help”
- >”O-oh hi stranger! N-No, we are OKAY! We will just do it by ourselves!”
- >Suspicious...
- >The pony starts breathing faster and faster
- “Nah don’t be like that, I can carry triple what you guys are carrying”
- >The other pony starts sweating heavily
- >”No, no, no, no! We are fine! Just go away please”
- “Nonsense, I’ll help you at least with one…”
- >”Oh for Celestia’s sake…”
- >You lift a box and… accidentally trip
- >With that, the goods in the box hit the ground
- >Well not much goods, just another box
- >A box in a box, just as weird as it sounds
- >You quickly pick up the larger box again
- “Ugh, sorry for that guys, It was an accident, I’ll just put this ba…”
- >You look at what appears to be a box with a clock on it and some wires, red, blue and yellow
- >This looks exactly like a bomb!
- >...If the clock wasn’t drawn with crayons and the wires weren’t made from paper
- >The ponies start yelling things in a language you don’t understand
- >The left pony picks up a radio and starts yelling
- >”Our cover has been blown! I repeat our cover has been blown!
- >His radio crackles to life
- >”Do whatever you can to get the packages; I don’t care if you hurt someone!”
- >The pony nods
- >”Roger that”
- >And with that, the two ponies grab two balloons and then inflate them
- >Within seconds, they each have a balloon sword
- “...What?”
- >”Gives us back the package or suffer our wrath!”
- >You smirk
- “Okay, okay, I’ll play your game”
- >You carefully put the ‘bomb’ inside the box in your arms
- >”Now put it on the ground!”
- “Let me think about it…”
- “…”
- “Nah, I’ll keep it, maybe the authorities would like to see it”
- >You say, joking, maybe these two are clowns
- >”Don’t you DARE”
- >And with that you quickly turn the opposite direction, running with the box in your hands
- “Now where are the-“
- >”GUARDS, THIEF!”
- “Okay, this… isn’t going to end well”
- >Three guards appear of nowhere and yell at you
- >”STOP RIGHT THERE!”
- >Almost cornered by the 3 guards and the 2 suspicious ponies, you see a weak point in their defences
- >A field with a well-manicured lawn and filled with beautiful flowers
- >You quickly sprint through the open area
- >”HE’S TREADING THE GRASS! AND THE FLOWERS!”
- <Oh so that’s why they weren’t walking here
- <Wait, why is there grass in a desert?
- “Hell, if I know”
- >No time for questions like that now, you need to find a way to escape!
- >Think, think, think!
- >…
- >There!
- >A cart! Your escape!
- >And with that, you jump into the cart…
- >Nothing happens
- >Well, this cart doesn’t work without a horse pulling it…
- >Wait, there is a way to get this thing going!
- >With what you learned from The Flintstones, you pick up the cart and start running with it
- >”HEY! THAT’S MY CART!”
- “I’ll give it back later!”
- >”He’s a double thief! Stop him!”
- “I’M NOT A THIEF! THIS IS A MISUNDERSTANDING!”
- >While you weren’t paying attention to the road, a hill suddenly appeared
- >You turn back to the road just in time to retract your legs
- “Oh shiIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTT-“
- >The cart speeds up faster and faster as it careens down the massive hill
- >Without someone pulling the cart, there’s no way to steer as you plummet down the hill
- >A pony pulling a cart full of lettuces spots you just in time to escape from his harness and dive out of the way...
- >Leaving his cart behind, right in the middle of the road
- >Brace for impact!
- >With god like speed, the carts collide
- >You are thrown from the cart amid a rain of edible leaves
- >”MY LETTUCES! GUARDS, THIS CRIMINAL HAS RUINED MY LETTUCES!”
- >You land hard, knocking the wind out of you
- “Did someone write down the license plate of that car….? Ugh…”
- >Your vision fades as you slowly feel unconsciousness swallow you
- >Even as you clutch the box in your hands
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