OFS commentary 10

as soon as the confrontation had officially ended and the water had been pumped back out of the locomotive, they came up to her, offering to share their food and shelter, for free no less.
 - Oh, that's right, we're still in AAAAaaappleoosa! Also, nice reference to the current festivities (about the paragraph in general)!

Even so, she wished they could have been just a tad more progressive.
 - Just enough to skip the prayers, but not so much to lose hospitality? That's quite a bit to ask Xp

„…and lastly, we thank Thee for Thy gift of friendship. Amen.“
 - D'awwwwwwwwwwww, I love this kind of universe adaptations.

She'll put all that iron to good use, mark my words!“
 - Are we all packed and ready for the guilt trip? :p

You know very well.
 - Oh my, sounds time for grand decisions.

Too many strange folks wandering about in there.
 - Normally, there would be to object, but we've seen the place xD

Wielding such power was a strange feeling, one Zvezda wasn't entirely comfortable with.
 - It must be the "great responsibility" part making her uneasy.

If this were about anypony else but my little princess, I might consider giving you a second chance. But I'm not risking my little Ruby.
 - Aw snap, now it couldn't have been that easy, could it?

She was trying very hard not to take all of this personally.
 - Oh wow, I never even considered this would get to her nerves. Nice display of her little flaws here.

She had figured it out now; the strange feeling in her hooves, the one she had felt ever since leaving the Cosmodrome. ...
 - Oh wow. Again, I'm blown away from your in-universe expansions, this meditation segment is stunning.

„Don't you worry your little head about it,“ Zvezda patted her on the head, putting on a warm smile,
 - "Uncle Zvezda's got it all taken care of!"

Buck! Why are the little ones always so smart?
 - HAHAHahahahahaha *wheeze* Oh how I love this.

and Lyuka suddenly realized she was doing the exact same thing.
 - Again, props for your finesse in depicting emotional/mental states.

Well, buck.
 - Not shaping well at all, huh.

Wasn't it only a few months ago that the news broke of a town in your constituency possessing a major road that terminated off a cliff? Or a water dam, which broke after only two weeks of-“
 - LOL! Making fun of S2, now that's something I approve!

A pony that wasn't against them? In this Assembly?
 - I'ts more likely than you think.

Hang on. Skies? 'Cherry Skies' Skies? 'Skies Precision AG' Skies?
 - Awwww yeah! Now the chances are way brighter!

„Or is your argument really so weak that it could be affected by a single meal?“
 - Ooooh, bull's eye, Princess! >:D

„Maybe this is her way of having fun,“ Lyuka suggested, „Throwing ponies into horrible situations, then seeing what happens.“
 - Also, plotics. (Yeah, mispelled on purpose) She lets ponies do stuff for her, plus she has fun in the process, I surely can't blame her!

„You do have a plan, right?“
 - Even if you have one, don't tell! Unspoken plan Guarantee and all that.

A tear dropped from Will's face. It was soon followed by one more, then another, which soon became a torrent as she broke down right there, in the lobby of the Assembly. ...
 - Again, reading her breakdown, I must confirm you are one master of emotional writing.

„Academy,“ Sequine snapped, as if it was obvious, „Old friends.“
 - Of course! Allies! Wow, this is gonna be good.

„Just remember, we don't have to win all the battles,“ Lyuka circled around her friend, glad to see her coming back to her usual self,
 - Did I mention how I do love these little details that make for a convincing scene? (In this case, the circling around)

With a mighty roar, the giant emerald dragon ....
 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! What in the whole Equestria did they have to pay to hire a friggin' DRAGON?

Of course, Dash's only reaction was a very smug grin; perhaps the engineers would finally stop mocking her sunglasses now.
 - I can just picture her smug, sunglasses-ed face now. Brilliant!

Don't stare at dragons, her father always used to say. Now she knew why.
 - It's like reindeers and car lights, isn't it? Oh lawdy.

„Did you spend the last year sleeping under a rock?“ Cherry began, „How couldn't you-“ „Yes,“ the creature snapped back.
 - Cherry left the worst possible opening, LOL!

Probably its size. You're really useful, brain, you know that?
 - Oh God, I'm laughing too hard at this x°D

For some reason or another, she was quickly warming to the venerable dragon.
Well, it does belch fire. Fire is rather warm, is it not?
Shut. Up!
 - Oh, so is this 4th wall breakage (sorta), or are the characters actually narrationg the events in their minds? Either way, me likey!

„Yes! Philosophy. Is that not what I am saying?“
 - Oh LOL, I just knew he'd say that.

Calculatus or some such. What can that possibly be good for?“
 - Definitely asking the wrong mare for this XD

Somehow, even though she hadn't really been very successful with Cawthorne himself, the whole thing seemed to make a lot more sense in her own head, now. Redstone's past speeches, all those 'fancy squiggles'... there was a reason behind them. A sensible one, even.
 - Have I ever mentioned how much I love you for this insights into the heads of ponies you write? <3

You simply cannot compare it with something like country-wide electrification!“
 - Oh wow, so they're planning to spread electricity as their next plan. Which explains the faulty dam. GJ, mate.

You just had to go there, didn't you? You've got me all figured out.
 - Sure Lyuka had thought a lot about this before talking. She will be prepred enough to convince Will.

Remember the Dream. Just remember the Dream.
 - Hey, I'm getting teary-eyed at this! No fair!

fillybuster
 - LMAO!

„Good question!“ he announced to the world, shrugging wildly, „I don't know!“
 - "It's not like I had a week to think up of a plan or anything!"

„Excellent! Just follow the plan, and don't trip up. Today's a big day for all of Equestria, mark my words! After all, who knows what ponies will be able to achieve through the joint and unbridled forces of science and industry? Not even Celestia, my dear Director! Not even her.“
 - Nice, now THAT's one encouraging speech!

triangles and squiggly snakes
 - As a mathematician, I completely approve of this joke, LOL.

I'll make sure you get an amazing education, kid. I don't know how, but I'll work it out.
 - Excuse me while  my heart melts out.

The sun was already beginning to set, and everything was utterly deserted. A few of the locals were still out on their porches, but, seeing her approach, quickly returned inside, some even loudly slamming the doors as they went.
 - Oh, where have I seen this scene before?
 Maybe I will find out, if I just squeeze my juices more.

Honestly, guys. Just because you're rocket engineers doesn't mean you don't have to shower.
 - Oh, now I feel pity for her. xD

Only now did she notice the amused smirk spread wide across his face. ...
 - Strange, now I have the widest smile on mine too.

A hunch, one could even call it.
 - Of course, and right before kissing. Ten bits she doesn't even begin.

There was a mystery to solve!
 - There's no time! (as some other popular fic taught!)

Seeing the ponies quickly respond to her orders, a confident smirk appeared on her face. You know, I'm getting pretty good at this management business. They really should promote me again, sometime.
 - And she says she's bad at the talking thing, hah! :p

„Had you really intended this to happen?“ she began, trying very hard not to let the scathing anger flash through her words, „Is this how you wanted it all to come out?“
 - ...Oh God, they got canceled. It happened, didn't it? D:

... „We fight.“ And, just like that, she slammed it shut.
 - Shivers, man! Shivers! That was one excellent piece of dialogue. The whole thing.