oregairu-vtc2

Chapter t2. Alas, the Relationship Between Yukinoshita Sisters is Unclear
While we approached the escalator I carefully pulled my hand out of Haruno’s grasp which had been there all the time
“So where are we going?” I asked her. Even a question this simple evoked a strange feeling inside me. Maybe because of her pulling me for so long I still felt the words she whispered in my ear still lingering around. That’s why I couldn’t look at her face while asking the question. I simply was following the clicking of her heels. Haruno in response stopped and half-turned to me. Looking me square in the eye, she smiled.
“Hm? Haven’t I told you we’re going shopping?”
"No, you didn’t.”
You have talked about a date! A date! Girls, please don’t play with the simpleton guys’ hearts like that. Though, whatever Haruno-san had told earlier, it won’t change a thing. Even now she wasn’t listening to me, instead walking forward while humming some tune and finally hopping on the escalator. She then spun around; the hem of her skirt flapped and settled back again. I barely managed to come to my senses after that when Haruno beckoned me.
“The shop we need is on the floor below. I’ve decided what to buy already so it won’t take much time,” Haruno-san noted with a mischievous smile. Looking at her appearance and behaviour I wouldn’t ever think this girl was older than me. I was aware she wasn’t the one to let your guard down around, but as I looked at this smile, I felt that constant sense of anxiety slowly fade away.
“Well that’s not the issue here...” I noticed, not meaning anything in particular, and stepped on the escalator behind Haruno-san. We slowly descended to the floor below. Haruno-san hopped off and confidently went forward. The crowd was huge due to NEw Year sales, but Haruno-san seemingly plowed through it. Who is she, Moses? Though I partially understood what all those people felt while getting out of her way. Had I met such a person in other circumstances I’d stepped out of the way into the shadow too. Or maybe they were just delighted by the grace of her gait.  Not me though: I’ve seen the edge of her inner darkness. Beauty is one of the method of subjugation too, or maybe more like intimidation. Add in the self-confidence and you get a devilish whip of a winged tiger. Everyone in her way simply withers.
Maybe this was the answer to a question of why Haruno Yukinoshita is always alone. Though maybe she does have friends. Yeah, now that I think about it, I remember seeing her with someone when we first met, and when we met at the donuts shop she seemed to wait for someone. Hiratsuka-sensei, her former teacher, told about her having many acquaintances at school. But even still...
I concluded that she just liked solitude more.  She had outstanding looks, cunning mind, not to mention her family… She could get anything a human would need while being completely alone-- that looked a whole lot like what I had wished. That also looked like Yukino Yukinoshita’s lifestyle as I’ve seen it long time ago. That’s why, probably, the Haruno-san I see is an illusion. Because even if she’s lonely she can’t strive for her loneliness voluntarily. Her affection for her sister Yukino Yukinoshita was a sure proof to that. I could easily remember how she stubbornly kept dialing Yukinoshita’s number today, or how she always clung to her all this time. There was no doubt about it: Haruno-san simply couldn’t ignore Yukinoshita’s existence. This is a proof that she can’t help but reach out to Yukinoshita and, ergo, can’t strive for loneliness. Of course, I don’t know her motives. This affection is too strong for a simple love to a sibling or a relative.
I had a younger sister too, but I wouldn’t go out of my way just to tease her or intrude her love life… hm… Actually I would. I do that all the time. I constantly annoy her when she’s at home, poke my nose into her exams and erase all the filthy bugs approaching her. It’s a normal behaviour of an older brother towards his younger sister. Does that work for an older sister too? Does that mean Haruno-san’s behaviour is also a norm? That’s what I was thinking about with a frown on my face while following Haruno-san. At that moment she stopped.
“This one,” and Haruno-san pointed at a shop’s entrance. Everything inside was so fluffy and pastel-colored… This shop stood out even on the floor dedicated to stuff for women. Peeking inside I saw the indoors clothes and swimming accessories. Upon closer look I also noticed the socks, blankets, bathrobes and evening gowns, hair bands… Their design strongly reminded of ice cream and various sweets. Only girls inside. Judging by the overall feel a guy like me should not trespass...
“Umm, I’ll wait,” I said wiping the sweat from my forehead. Haruno-san smiled:
“Hey!” she shoved me in. Taking two steps I found myself inside. Aaagh! Any moment now a female store clerk would come to me and sternly ask “are you searching for something?”, scaring me with her forced smile. I’ll reply with just “no, nothing” mimicking some actress I’ve borrowed it from, start hating myself for it and sweat profusely. Then the clerk will notice my sweaty forehead and exclaim “Oh my, you’re so sweaty! Is the heat too high?”; and with these words, made of 80% disgust and 20% care, she’ll give me a tissue. I started sweating even more while anticipating this turn of events. I wish she’d just give me some Bufferin [one of the trademark names for the aspirin] instead of that care. Right now.
But all this is only for the guys, more specifically the guys who live in the shadows. Women are another matter. This is their floor, so no need for them to be shy around here. Guys who have girlfriends and are used to entertainment of all kinds wouldn’t be alien here either.
Haruno-san confidently walked further into the store, obviously knowing what to do. I just followed her with my eyes while uttering sounds like those of a sea lion. Or maybe some sort of ancient chant, on such a proficient level that I should learn about its grammar and syntax more.
Haruno-san probably found me not following her strange. Turning to me she understood everything instantly.
“Don’t worry, they have men’s wear as well,” she said, then stood beside me and dragged forward. Well, if she does that much for me, I can’t afford being a coward anymore. Not to mention going hand in hand with Haruno-san was even more embarrassing. I pried myself away and followed her in small steps.
Only women… God. I turned on the invisibility mode. Haruno-san meanwhile seemed to search for something specific while humming some tune along the way. Grabbing an item of clothes she put it to her chest and turned to em.
“Hey look, the fabric’s so thick,” she said smiling. That took me by surprise: Haruno-san looked now very childlike and innocent.
“Well, that’s the material they used.”
We roamed around the store while exchanging meaningless phrases like that. I stll wasn’t used to this place, so I moved slowly and carefully. But Haruno-san was a step and a half behind and constantly talking, so I didn’t feel any discomfort. Though just so you know, being with Haruno-san is not comfortable at all! Even though I was glad the clerks and customers didn’t pierce me with their looks.
We approached a corner with slightly different goods. Haruno-san immediately took one of them.
“Hey, look, it’s for men.”
In her hands was something like a white-gray striped pajama with a hood. The ends of the strings were finished with pompons, so this pajama of sorts looked cute. I reluctantly took it. A price tag caught my eye, surprising me.
“Whoah, expensive!”
I rechecked the price once more. Then once more again. It’s just a pajama, why a five-digit number then? In summer you can just sleep in pants and T-shirt, and in winter there’s always a sweater and a dotera [male padded kimono]... I just stood there, shocked by the world of fashion; Haruno-san couldn’t help but laugh.
“Yeah, you’re a guy, guys aren’t interested in this. But the reviews for this store are good. How about trying it on after all?”
“Well...” I uttered in displeasure after imagining myself in this cute pajama. No way it would suit me. Though it’s a pajama, you’re not supposed to show those to other people, so suiting or not wasn’t an issue here. There’s another one, way more serious.
I felt the conciousness of the 11th grade student shouting inside me. This way the girls will start hitting on me, and I’ll look like a popular guy! Bad! Very bad! Girls are really knowledgeable in all these clothes brands. Though my displeasure probably showed on my face since Haruno-san smiled again.
“Hikigaya-kun, you don’t try to hide your disgust at such moments. I’m impressed.”
“I’m an honest person.”
“The same can be said about me.”
Haruno-san countered my words without a hitch. I looked at her: charming smile adorned her face.
“Paired clothes is really attractive, don’t you think?” She seductively whispered in my ear. Her hot breath tickled my neck. I perfectly understood that she was just teasing, but my cheeks still felt warm. I didn’t even dare look at her face. Satisfied with my reaction, she leaned back.
“I’ll get some paired clothes for Yukino-chan and myself,” she added in a sing-song voice. I relaxed and breathed out.
“I think you as her sister would look better in that paired clothes than me.”
“Too attractive is also not good, the effect is reversed then. I’m attractive as it is,” Haruno-san answered ironically, as if anticipating my reactions. This was an emtpy meaningless conversation, but Haruno-san seemed to enjoy even that. Looking in her eyes I noticed sadistic glimmer. Nnno, I don’t like her after all. But then her look got darker.
“Though we used to wear paired clothes a lot,” she said quietly, as if bringing up old memories.
“Unexpected,” I said honestly.
“Why? It’s simple. Nothing surprising in the fact our parents bought us paired clothes,” Haruno-san said not smiling anymore, just looking at the clothes on racks. But it wasn’t the fact Yukinoshita sisters used to wear paired clothes that surprised me. Even I was sometimes dressed up similarly to Komachi to parents’ whims and pleasure. Their family may have the same habits. What’s more, the desire to look at the beautiful sisters in identical clothes was natural.
What surprised me was different. It was how Haruno Yukinoshita said that.  It wasn’t adoration or tenderness that she expressed when remembering those memories. It was something else entirely. Something like a feeling of loneliness, as if speaking of something distant, lost forever. I didn’t know why I heard that desperation born of separation in her voice. I just felt that way. For now Haruno-san was beyond my comprehension. I probably won’t ever understand her at all.
I can’t even understand the feelings of people I’m relatively close with. Haruno Yukinoshita can get closer to me all she wants, but that still doesn’t let me understand her. For now she simply searched for the already chosen clothes, pretending she didn’t understand what I meant.
“Yup, this one after all,” Haruno-san said and draped the clothes item over her white blouse. It was light gray costume with pinkish polka dots. Haruno-san gently raised the collar up to her nose, and looked at me with pleading eyes.
“How is it?”
“Doesn’t look like your sister, but I think it’s fine.”
Haruno-san cutely pouted and intently stared at me. Eh? What’s wrong with her? Does she have such crafty methods in her arsenal? Her fortified outpost looked too perfect. Had I not known who she was I’d fallen immediately. And wouldn’t have regretted it one bit! Such was Haruno Yukinoshita.
“I meant it suiting me. Even its size wouldn’t fit Yukino-chan,” Haruno-san said and touched her chest. Yukinoshita sisters have one distinctive trait: they both can speak without words. Saying things that cruel-- that’s so Harunon. Hey, your little sis is worried about that too! Never ever say this to her! Promise your big bro!  Okay, fine, I was asked to provide feedback, so provide feedback I will. This probably was the reason I had been brought here.
“Well… You know it yourself,” was all I could say. Haruno Yukinoshita has peerless appearance. That’s why everything she demonstrated looked very pretty in all the places. But the problem was… Seemed like those words of mine weren’t enough, and those pretty eyes reflected the steel will underneath, clearly demanding me to continue.
“Look very pretty,” I said averting my eyes under Haruno-san’s look. She nodded  in satisfaction.
“Oh good. I’ll buy this one then,” Haruno-san said. She quickly put off everything she had tried on and nimbly folded them all, adding to it the costume of the same design, just snow-white.
“I’ll go to the cashier,” she quickly said and left. I was left alone without the Harunon-barrier that guarded me from the customers and clerks, so I quickly moved to the men’s wear corner. Maybe here I won’t be bothered...
… But then I immediately spotted a costume with the same design Haruno-san had recommended me earlier.  Black, huh. Alright, okay, hm… Just a color change and a different impression entirely. Maybe this one will even look semi-decent on me. Hm, hm… The moment I reached for that costume-
“Sorry for the wait,” I heard the perky voice from behind me and quickly lowered my hand.
“That was fast,” I said calmly; Haruno-san looked at me with an apologetic look.
“Wrapping will take some more time, sorry,” she said and pointed to the chairs located in the middle of the floor. Seemed like it was some kind of a recreation zone. Apparently she suggested we wait there until the gift-wrapping is done. Haruno-san took her clothes and went to those chairs. And without Haruno-san here I felt very uncomfortable, so I obediently followed her. I unfolded one of the chairs and sat beside Haruno-san. She meanwhile opened the bag with her purchase and started checking the inside while purring something to herself.
“How about you? Have you made a choice already?” She said not looking away from the package.
“Ah? Oh, I’ve bought the present some time ago.”
The question seemed out of left field, but judging by context she was asking about Yukinoshita’s present. But Haruno-san shook her head no while smiling, then slowly turned to me while looking square in the eye. It’s how snake turns its head while tracking the target.
“Not that. I meant you three,” She clarified and I froze. Her black eyes were clear and bright, but I didn’t see the bottom in them; it’s like they trapped my soul. If I try to learn about her motives, explain the question,  I’m going to end up in a state where I won’t be able not to answer. That meant I could only do one thing. I opened my mouth and uttered without a pause:
“Us three? I usually don’t express my opinion in groups. That’s how it was during the summer trip and the school trip too. This looks noble.”
“I like your mannerisms,” Haruno-san replied and smiled charmingly. Tension in the air had disappeared somewhat, but her eyes were still dark, and I knew for sure this wasn’t the end.
“I don’t really care who you choose. But you don’t think it’ll end just like that, do you? It’s unnatural.”
She didn’t say anything concrete but I still understood what she meant. Haruno Yukinoshita had just shoved an undeniable truth into my face. I myself knew that truth. It’s your usual, not really outstanding, common truth. But if you just looked at it as a bystander you won’t see anything at all. So I pretended I didn’t see anything.
“‘Unnatural’ is synonymous to ‘artificial’. Almost everything we deal with is man-made and thus artificial. And accepting this artificiality is, you know...”
The indifferent observer listening to the ramblings of the bystander just smiled, and her laughter stopped them.
“You said it’s not what you would call genuine, right? What’s genuine then?”
Soft voice. Cold look. Wet eyes. Raw breath. She muttered not a reproach and not an important question. But not a single person is able to answer that. Several seconds passed, or maybe minutes; I finally came to my senses and heard the music playing on this floor. We kept quiet all this time. Suddenly I heard someone’s steps approaching us from the side. It’s the store clerk finally brought the beautifully wrapped gift. Noticing it Haruno-san perkily stood up and brightly smiled.
“Alas, time’s up. End of a date. Let’s go back,” Haruno-san said and went for her present. I still sat there.
x x x
On our way back to the cafe neither me nor Haruno-san said a word. She probably had already said everything she wanted. There was no answer for the stated question, so that question’s left hanging now. Instead… no, no “instead”. It’s just upon returning to her seat Haruno-san now was her usual energetic self.
“Here, Yukino-chan, happy birthday. Big sis chose very carefully,” Haruno-san approached Yukinoshita and handed her the present.
“Sister… What’s this all of a sudden?”
Yukinoshita had no reasons not to accept the birthday present yet she still was confused. Yuigahama too saw the gift wrap, and her eyes sparkled.
“Aah, it’s from that store! Everything’s so cute there!”
“Yep! Smart girl Gahama-chan, as expected. Cute things for my cute little sister! Let her feel my love,” Haruno-san proudly said while pointing to Yuigahama. Yukinoshita followed their conversation, then took a closer look to the present.
“Love?.. Though come to think about it, it is indeed cute...” Yukinoshita quietly said and nodded. Seemed like she liked it. She carefully placed the wrap on her knees and opened it.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Haruno-san looked at Yukinoshita’s reddened cheeks and smiled in satisfaction. I tried to predict this, but turned out the world had been painted pink with all the kindness and tenderness. Yurinoshita sisters, I would like so much if you always stayed this way. I wasn’t the only one enjoying this moment of happiness. Hayato Hayama also watched them all this time with gentle eyes. Then he seemed to notice something as he reached somewhere under the table, took his cellphone and checked it. Apparently he got mail.
“Haruno-san, it’s time,” he whispered.
“Oh, already?” Haruno-san said rolling the sleeve of her blouse and checking the small watch wrapped around her slim pale wrist. Seemed like they had to go meet the parents. It also meant we had to say goodbye now. I won’t survive a “come with us”. I’m not ready to meet Hayama’s parents. A chance to flee!
“Well, we gotta go too.”
“Yep,” Yuigahama agreed. Haruno-san and Hayama also decided it was appropriate time to say their goodbyes and nodded.
“Oh...” Yukinoshita muttered absentmindedly. Me and Yuigahama on one side and Haruno-san and Hayama on the other looked at her in wonder. Haruno-san then stared at her intently.
“Yukino-chan, what do you plan to do?”
“What do you mean?”
“The meeting. You coming or not? We’ll celebrate your birthday too. Though I’m done for today so I don’t care,” Haruno-san said, her voice cold. And here she so desperately tried to reach her hours earlier. I don’t think handing the present was all Haruno-san wanted to do, but Yukinoshita did have a choice.
“Well...” Yukinoshita said, unable to choose, and hesitantly looked at Yuigahama and me. Yuigahama showed a puzzled smile.
“Ah, don’t mind us.”
“Yeah. We’re going home anyway.”
“Alright,” Yukinoshita replied indecisively and lowered her eyes. Yuigahama stoped smiling, but then remembered something and immediately reached for the bag under her arm.
“Oh, right! Here, take it. Even though it’s kinda early, your birthday only tomorrow and all,” Yuigahama said and handed Yukinoshita the bag with the presents. Well, if Yuigahama can do it, so can I.
“Congratulations,” I said.
“Th-thanks,” Yukinoshita froze for a second, but then thanked us while holding her presents to her chest and smiling. Looking at her Yuigahama couldn’t help but smile too.
“I’ll buy something sweet tomorrow, so we’ll celebrate at school too, okay?” Yuigahama added, probably out of politeness; she apparently too thought that just saying goodbye to friends in this situation is akin to shooing them. I think I should behave accordingly too.
“Bye,” I said raising my hand; Yukinoshita smiled again. Seemed like Yuigahama’s politeness was enough for us both since Yukinoshita hesitantly raised her hand in response.
“Yes, See you later.”
“Later!” Yuigahama perkily waved her hand.
“Goodbye,” Haruno-san said to Yuigahama while raising from her seat.
“Bye!”
“See you at school.”
Haruno-san broadly waved to us, Hayama calmly smiled; me and Yuigahama exited the shop.
The elevator was not far away from here. No one else headed to it, so the silence was only interrupted by the sounds of our steps.
“Hey, what do you think I should take tomorrow? Chocolate cake? Or maybe cupcakes?” Yuigahama asked stopping at the elevator call button.
“Just take whatever you like,” I asked; Yuigahama snorted in annoyance.
“Hikki, think properly about it too. I like both so I can’t decide. Hmmm, how about a half of both?”
“What is it, pizza? You don’t divide such things.”
By the way, does she really think we could eat the whole cake? Seriously? Well, if it was tasty then whatever. Though we really ought to pick something before we returned home.
A reached the call buttons. A triangle pointing up and a triangle pointing down. My hand stopped, hesitating to push any of the buttons. To select the right road forward… For that I pushed one of the buttons.