Krampus Index #1 (Draft)

NOTE: the numbers are light ideas. I have written the idea behind the number next to them
5... (low)		number of people interested in March madness for reasons other than a bracket contest
99... (high)		percent of students who attended March 31st Gator Day events instead of staying in bed hungover
3.5... (doesn't matter)	number of inches your truck must be lifted to raise your social status by 5 levels
1500... (very high)	number of students who reported wishing room draw was more often
0... (low)		number of cars damaged by Meadville's smooth streets this year
100... (high)		percent of voting for Krampus as worst student publication on campus
5... (low)		average number of alcohol poisoning cases per semester at Allegheny
3... (high)		number of wins the football team gets for each of its sweet pink house ragers
48925... (a fuckton)	number of feet of snow we got this winter
147... (high)		number of times I thought "I wish there was more snow" this winter
0 K... (fucking cold)	average temperature this past winter
15... (high)		number of excuses freshman make up for a single late paper that they are late on or didn't do
1... (i.e. comp)	number of excuses seniors make (they're comping leave them alone, gosh)
3849... (high)		number of times seniors use "I'm comping" as an excuse for something that they really could have done
3... (low)		average number of sober people in McKins after midnight on a weekend
too much...		mckins money left with a month to go in the semester
not enough...		mckins money left with a week to go the end of a semester or when you need it during finals
0... (low)		reasons to ever visit the Mead Inn
15...			open rooms for your parents at the safe, friendly Mead Inn when they visit!
OR MAYBE WE COULD HAVE AN "AD" FOR THE MEAD INN? ADVERTISING A WIDE VARIETY OF CRACK DEALERS? OR A CRACK DEALER AD?
35... (high)		number of people listening to music from bands you haven't heard of at GFC
__... (just bc)		number of items in this list
15... (high)		number of couples who hooked up after both mentioning they were horny on yik yak
375... (high)		number of times the internet cut out on me while trying to email this feature to
15... (high)		average number of craft beer choices at an Allegheny party/average craft beer selection at an Allegheny party
87... (high)		percent of students not involved in greek life that care about what fraternity/sorority you're in
-5... (low)		number of days it takes a sorority girl to love her big so much
15733... (high)		number of jackets I had to wear to survive this winter as a Texan
5... (high lol)		number of pounds of weed smoked at an Ultimate Frisbee party
0... (low)		number of hours the post office is open when you need it
5... (high)		number of stars Brooks food was rated by a recent food critic
0... (low)		number of good reasons McKins gives me why they can't use steak instead of ground beef in a quesadilla
0... (low)		amount of sense it makes that at McKins, there's bacon at the grill every day, but only at the pasta bar one day
0... (low)		amount of sense it makes that you can get steak any day at the pasta bar at McKins, but only once a week at the cantina
378... (high)		number of tries it takes to open a mail box on average
500... (high)		number of people ready to start their comp senior year
0... (low)		number of people who still don't have a room after room draw
9... (high)		on a scale of 10, how happy I am when my roommate sexiles me on a Tuesday night
15... (high)		pounds of tar in the average Theta Chi's lungs (or pounds of secondhand smoke/tar injested at a Theta Chi party)
too damn...		amount of early it is for this fucking (1:30?) math class
7... (a while ago)	grade I feel like I'm in when I hear Sorority girls gossipping
10... (low)		percentage of green plants in the ravine that aren't weed
0... (low)		the number of times what I've done for homework has corresponded to what I've done in class this semester