Anon's Swinger Singer

>Day S1E01 in Equestria.
>Today was meant to be a quiet day in, get a couple of hours practice, and then a night out with your bro Rainbow Dash.
>Instead, a new mare comes to town, there's a big party, Celestia fails to show up for her sun fiesta, and now you are faced with the prospect of eternal night.
>This would have been a good excuse to lock your door and hide until it all blows over.
>But of course your bro has to call in her debt.
>"Look, just help me, the girls and this Twilight stop Nightmare Moon, and then we're even about the whole hurricane and peanut butter thing."
>So here you are, entering a rundown castle in the middle of the spooky forest, on the whim that purplesmart over there will find whatever magic doohickies she is looking for.
>"The elements of harmony! We found them!"
>A bunch of rocks on an ornament stand are the key to saving the world. Yeah, ok.
>The unicorn starts babbling something about creating a spark to summon the sixth element. You would have suggested a kiss, but then she is not a redhead and you are not Bruce Willis.
>Applejack ushers everyone out and you head over to Rainbow.
"How long do you think she's going to be?"
>She gives you a shrug. "I dunno how good her magic is, Anon. She could be in there for hours."
>Great, so you might be stuck in this spooky forest for hours. How are you going to get in your practice now?
>Suddenly there is a cry. Everyone rushes back into the castle in time to see Twilight disappear into a purple tornado.
>"Look!" Rarity motions out of a window at a nearby tower that is brightly lit up.
>You follow the girls down several corridors and up a flight of stairs to the tower. Inside, Twilight is confronting the large winged pegasus that crashed the solar fiesta.
>"Nightmare moon! You think you can defeat the elements of harmony just like that? Well you're-"
>A flick of a starry mane and the unicorn is knocked across the room.
>"Silence! I do not need to hear whatever hope you are trying to save. I have won, the elements are gone, and nothing can stop me!" The dark horse cackles.
>Okay, you may not know this purple unicorn, but that was plain rude.
>You motion to Rainbow and whisper in her ear.
"Get Twilight to do her thing, I'm gonna distract her."
>"With your-" Rainbow glances down at you briefly, blushing.
"Rainbow."
>"Ok ok! Do your...thing."
>You approach the evil-looking horse, who focuses a slitted eye upon you.
>"What's this? You are not from this world, are you? Do you wish to challenge me, monkey?" She sneers.
"Something like that."
>You unbutton your pants and let them drop.
>She looks at you incredulously, raising a forleg slightly.
>"You're kidding right? Do you seriously think that you can subdue me with your...equipment?"
"Not exactly."
>You pull your boxers down too, and send a swift thought to your crotch.
>Your cock springs to attention as you strike a defiant pose, hands on your hips.
>"Just like we rehearsed right?"
>The winged unicorn rears in fright at the words coming from your penis, the lips of your urethra forming the words.
>"What is this!?" She cries out.
"My name is Anonymous, bitch, and this is my singing dick."
>At that cue, your sex bursts into song.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSS5dEeMX64
>"Let's get down to business, to defeat this horse."
>"Princess sent her student, when she needs a boss?"
>"You're the saddest villain I ever met, but you can bet before we're through."
>"Lady I'll, make a mare, out of you."
>You can feel the slitted gaze of Nightmare Moon focused on your penis, and not on the girls behind you. It's working.
>"Saving all Equestria, from a world of night."
>"Once you showed your big face, you could bet we'd fight."
>"You're not scary, big or tough enough. And you haven't got a clue."
>"Ponies will make a mare out of you."
>You join in with your member, singing 'be a mare' at the right times.
>"We will be swift as the coursing river. With all the force of a minotaur."
>"With all the strength of a raging dragon, we'll send your ass to the dark side of the moon!"
>A flash of light behind you draws your attention.
>Twilight and her friends are going super saiyan on you, floating and glowing.
>"No! This cannot be!" The dark horse cries out.
>Suddenly a huge rainbow flies up into the air and crashes into the evil black horse.
>"NO! CURSE YOU, SINGING GENITALIA MONKEY!" She yells as she is engulfed in swirling colors.
>You pull up your boxers and pants, your job done.
>Several ponies hug you, thanking you for your help. Rainbow rubs your scalp with her hoof, and Twilight bows to your crotch.
>The form of the liberated Luna stirrs near your feet.
>Equestria would be lost if it was not for your singing junk.
>Today was a musical day.