[REQUEST] Anonymous - Superheroes

Got bored as fuck one day.
Asked for requests to satiate my lust for writing.
Got these:

"fluttershy is a unicorn instead of pegasus?"

And

"This was posted in AiE but didn't take off.
Anon is a superhero. Anon's powerset includes:
Accurately tell the weight of any object.
Can tell the last time someone had sex by scent.
He can read a persons mind by inserting his tongue into their anus.
He can talk to crustaceans."


WELL SHIT THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
Both were Anonymous posters, so I can't credit any names. But they can live their lives knowing that they caused this travesty to appear



-------------------------------------
>Day Justice Toast in Equestria
>You are Anon
>Or as you are better known as:
>Anon
>Saviour of Ponyville
>You wake up in your house and smell the air
>Smells like crime
>Run out your bedroom and downstairs, pulling your bright blue cape off the door as you go
>Sit at the table and pour a bowl of Criminal Flakes
>"The Number One Breakfast for those with intent to break the law"
>Gotta eat like a criminal to think like a criminal to beat criminals
>Finish eating it and stroll to your front door
>Strike a pose as you breathe in the morning air
>A nearby pony climaxes at the sight of you
>Smile
>Stroll down the path into Ponyville, waving to mares who then orgasm violently
>One of them was on a ladder when it happened, falling onto a small foal and hospitalising him.
>He was probably breaking the law anyway
>Reach the town hall and walk up to the Mayor's office
>Punch open the door
>"DAMMIT, ANON! THAT'S THE Nyeaagh..."
>The mayor takes a moment to finish creaming herself
>"Thats... THAT'S THE 5TH DOOR THIS WEEK"
Justice stops for no door.
>"Shut up. I have a job for you."
>She throws a folder onto the table
>You pick it up and study it
>"She calls herself the "Fetishiser". Think you can handle it?"
She'll learn soon enough not to mess with the law, Ma'am.
>"Whatever. Just sort it out. She's scaring away tourists"
>Stroll towards the shattered door
>"Oh, and Anon?"
>Turn around and strike another pose
Yes, Ma'am?
>"Marry me."
No can do, Ma'am.
>Walk out the door. Criminals await.

1/?

>After you get to the Fetishiser's lair of evil you punch the door off it's hinges
>The room is dark, save for a chair
>The chair turns around and the lights come on
>Fluttershy is sat there stroking a pissed off looking Angel
>"Ahh, m-mister Anon. I've been expecting you!"
Fluttershy... Where is the Fetishiser?
>She chuckles and takes off her hat, releaving a large horn
>Then then puts on an eyepatch and draws a moustache over her lip with a black marker
>"I AM THE FETISHISER!"
FLUTTERSHY! YOU TRAITOR! I TRUSTED YOU!
>"Well you need to pick better allies, Anon. Now suffer my wrath!"
>She picks up a nearby otter with magic and throws it at you, the otter screeching in fear whilst in flight
>You quickly judge that the otter weighs about 9.5 kilograms and catch it with both hands, placing it on the floor and nudging it away with your foot
>"Impressive! But see how you can handle THIS!"
>She charges up her horn again and in a flash she's in a supervillain outfit
>"Are costumes your fetish, Anon?"
>You clutch your rapidly growing boner and drop to the floor in agony
Y-you bastard...
>"HA HA HA!! I've found your weakness, now there's nothing that can stop me!"
>She walks over to you and strokes your face, leaning down and licking you
>You can't let her win
>Lives and public decency laws depend on it!
>You let out a roar and push her away
>She squeals
>"Impossible! I've found your fetish! I won!"
>Glare down at her
Sorry, Fluttershy. But I'm already taken.
>"By who?!"
>You draw back a fist and channel all your strength into it
JUSTICE.
>You let loose and slam your fist into her jaw, unleashing a shockwave that shatters all the windows in the house, cracks the floorboards and sends Fluttershy flying backwards through her wall and into a tree outside

2/?

>You sigh
>Another day, another victory
>Walk out of the Fluttershy shaped hole and up to the tree
>Fluttershy is slumped against it
>You stand over her and strike a pose
>The postmare flying above you at the time faints and crashes into a lake
>Fluttershy groans
>"D-did we have sex?"
No.
>"Oh..."
>She tries to laugh, but ends up coughing
What's so funny?
>"Y-you may have defeated me... But my master... He will be the end of you..."
>Your eyes widen
>Of course she wasn't working alone. No single pony could orchestrate such a wave of terror
>Pick her up and slam her against the tree, her head hitting the bark hard
WHERE IS HE?
>"Ouch... Never start with the head, the victim gets all... Fuzzy..."
>Slam her again
WHERE IS HE?!
>Fluttershy laughs
>"You... You have... NOTHING. To threaten me with..."
>She cackles again
>Time to take drastic measures
>You spin her upside down so that her face is parallel with your crotch
>"O-oh my~"
>You pin her against the tree and push aside her tail
>You lick you lips
>And plunge your tongue deep inside her anus

3/?

>Fluttershy's thoughts fill your own
>Fetish attempts, childhood trauma, flight camp, past colt/mare/bearfriends
>But you're searching for something else
>Something...
>THERE.
>Fluttershy has many memories of her talking to a mysterious figure in Town Hall nearly every day
>That's where you're going
>You pull your tongue out of her anus, much to her displeasure and drop her on the floor
>"P-please put it back..."
No.
>You run down the path and into Ponyville, trying to get the taste out of your mouth
>You get to the town hall and kick open the main doors
>Twilight Sparkle screams, the doors narrowly missing her
>"A-Anon! W-what are you doing here?"
Superhero stuff. Can't chat
>"W-WAIT! Umm..."
>You look at her
Yes? Come on Twilight, I have Justice to serve.
>"D-do you want to go out on a date?"
A date. Really?
>"Yes!"
Uhh. No thanks, Twilight.
>"Why? Come on, Anon! It'll be fun!"
No. I have work to do.
>"You're missing out! I'm a virgin!"
>You stare at her
>She looks back with bedroom eyes
>"Don't you want to sleep with an innocent little virgin?"
>You smell the air
>Pick up Twilight
>She struggles not to orgasm right there
>You take a deep whiff of her mane
>Drop her
Liar.

4/?

>Twilight looks at you, shocked
>"W-what?!"
You last had sex when you were... Uhh. 5. Eww.
>She looks down, ashamed
>"My big brother and I were close..."
>Without stopping to talk about childhood incest adventures, you run up the stairs towards the Mayor's office
>You notice that the door is already open
>Well that won't do
>You smile at the mayor, who's giving you a "what the hell are you doing" face
>You politely shut the door
>Wait for about 3 seconds
>The kick that mother fucker open
>"DAMMIT, ANON! THAT'S THE 6TH DOOR THIS WEEK!"
Miss Mayor, the real culprit is in this very building! The Fetishiser was working for someone higher up!
>The Mayor chuckles darkly
>"Why, of course she was, Anon."
>She pulls a top hat out from under her desk and puts in on, as well as taking out her now aparently false teeth, replacing them with a new set, made completely out of gold
Son of a bitch. It was you all along!
>The Mayor laughs
But why, Mayor?
>"Don't call me the Mayor. Call me-"
>She strikes a pose, good enough to rival yours
>"THE MAYOR"
>You wince
>Dat name
>2good4you

5/?

>You crack your knuckles
>The Mayor cracks her hooves
>What.
>She pounces on you before you can react and starts licking your face
>Her costume had already given you a boner the likes of which you'd never seen, but you had to prevail, the world is depending on you!
>She's too strong though
>There's only one thing to do
>You close your eyes and begin to hum
>The Mayor stops, still weighing you down
>"What are you... No- NO!"
>She scrambles off you, a panic-stricken look on her face
>Your hums get louder until you reach the highest note you can, and then:
CREATURES OF SHELL AND CLAW! LEND ME YOUR AID!
>The Mayor screams in terror as the walls, ceiling and floor explode
>Thousands upon thousands of Crabs, Lobsters and Hermits crawl out of the holes in the room, flooding it with sea water and the smell of rotting carcasses
>The sounds of ten thousand clacking claws drown out the Mayor's screams as the horde of deep-sea life descends on her, ripping her limb from limb
>The entire time you have been striking a pose and performing the loudest soprano opera you can.
>After 30 more seconds the Crustaceans crawl back into the walls, leaving the office a soggy, bloodsoaked and utterly trashed mess
>You look down at the tattered remains of the Mayor's Top Hat
>You slowly pick it up and look around the office
>A thought crosses your mind

6/?

>You hold the hat up to the light and think for a while
>With the Mayor gone, crime and villainy will rule this town
>In order for there to be order, someone will have to take charge
>Someone must always be in charge
>You walk over to the Mayor's desk, slowly sitting down and facing the door
>You raise the hat over your body and lower it onto your head
>Lightning crackles from your fingers and your eyes glow blue
>The office becomes alive with magic, the damage repairing itself and the smell of death disappearing
>The plaque on the wall changes
>The name goes from Mayor Mare to Anon
>A pony with tied back hair walks into the room, and sees you wearing a bloodstained top hat
>"What-"
Tell them only that the old Mayor is dead. And that Anon the superhero died with her.
>She runs back out screaming
>You place your hands on the desk and grimace at your new destiny
There must always be-

A MAYOR OF PONYVILLE

7/7
The End