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Anon in Fluffquestria

Jun 26th, 2012
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  1. Anon in Fluffquestria (1/17) !GVbDnFgt0E 06/08/12(Fri)15:33 No.2447762
  2.  
  3. >Finally after reading enough tulpa threads and enough AiE stories, you have learned how to create your own portal to Equestria
  4. >You cast the dark magicks, and a black portal opens before you
  5. >You step into the portal, waiting to be greeted by all your pony friends
  6. >Instead, a horde of fluffy balls runs towards you and starts yelling about "sketties" and "pway"
  7. >You dun goofed
  8. >This is Fluffquestria!
  9. >You look at them, petting them, wondering how such things could even fucking exist
  10. >Wouldn't they have been killed off by predators or some shit by now?
  11. >You need to test something
  12. >You pick one up and tell it that it's going for a swim
  13. >"Yay! Swim! Swim!"
  14. >You walk over to an ankle-deep stream
  15. >you put the fluffy pony in it, and it immediately drowns
  16. >The other fluffy ponies fucking jump in after it
  17. >They all drown
  18. >You stand there in awe at how you committed genocide without really trying
  19. >Suddenly the corpses begin to move
  20. >Each fluffy pony corpse bursts into two or more foals
  21. >The new foals float to shore, shake themselves dry, and run away from you as fast as they can, like rabbits
  22. >Of course there are shit-tons more of these things
  23. >Some of them have useless wings
  24. >Some have horns
  25. >You go up to one of the fluffy unicorns and ask it to cast a spell, just to see what happens
  26. >It grunts and strains
  27. >The effort of trying to cast something kills it
  28. >Two foals emerge from the corpse
  29. >Well, fucking shit
  30. >The dysgenics are obvious, of course
  31. >When death is reproduction, adult fluffies are going to be prone to die
  32. >Survival of the fittest, turned on its head
  33. >You just wonder why they die of misadventure instead of committing suicide
  34. >Speaking of misadventure, you're getting hungry
  35. >Fluffy ponies that are cooked don't burst into foals
  36. >You slowly realize what you must do
  37. >Using skills learned from Minecraft, you build and fire up an oven
  38. >You find an extremely shallow pool of muddy water that only the dumbest fluffy ponies could drown in
  39. >You run around Fluffyville yelling "Pway!" at the top of your lungs, and soon you have a herd following you
  40. >You lead the fluffies to the mud puddle
  41. >The stupidest ones drown, of course
  42. >Before their corpses can pop, you throw them in the oven
  43. >You see a couple of fluffy ponies not quite getting close to the center of the pool and instead just running around happy in the shallower mud
  44. >These are the smarter ones, and you lovingly break their necks
  45. >Their foals you keep in a pen
  46. >Fortunately, fluffy foals eat damn near anything organic
  47. >They don't digest wood, but leaves, grass, and roast stupid fluffies all get eaten with equal aplomb
  48. >They grow damn fast, from birth to adulthood in a week
  49. >Where the fuck are they getting language?
  50. >One mystery at a time
  51. >Overhead, you see a bunch of winged forms carrying weapons
  52. >You figure you could probably kill a few of these chickens, but you don't dare battle a raiding party of this size
  53. >The griffins visit terror upon the fluffy herds
  54. >You stay hidden with the foals until they leave
  55. >Many fluffies were apparently devoured, some were torn apart, some were broken in two
  56. >Foals start emerging from the ones that weren't too badly fucked up
  57. >One foal has larger wings and a beak, and begins to fly away awkwardly
  58. >So cross-species impregnation is possible with them?
  59. >It takes you a full month to rape every single fluffy pony in Fluffyville
  60. >You ignore the cries of "Nuuuu! No wan' speciaw huggies!" as you systematically fuck every single one of them
  61. >It is a thankless and demanding job, but you do it for the good of the world
  62. >You also try to keep the ones that the griffins had raped
  63. >You try to learn more about the unicorns
  64. >Apparently there is a "Source of All Magics" deep below Fluffyville
  65. >It is an enormous, grey, floating sphere across a bridge over lava, which explains why fluffies don't go there anymore
  66. >You use some cobblestone to prevent the fluffies following you from falling off the bridge
  67. >The stupid ones fall off anyway
  68. >No great loss
  69. >You became a wizard when you turned 30, so the Source doesn't affect you very much
  70. >Nor does it seem to do much to regular fluffy ponies
  71. >The unicorns, however, are deeply affected by it
  72. >Apparently a unicorn with weak magic power dies when exposed to it
  73. >And since those who die, breed...
  74. >You lead the unicorns across the bridge
  75. >The ones who really, really don't want to go are the smartest of all, and you break their necks and make sure to keep their foals
  76. >The ones who make it the farthest to the Source, you also let fluffsplode
  77. >The ones who die too soon, you toss into the lava
  78. >It takes a year before you have fluffies who can cast spells
  79. >One little fluffy shoots lightning when you squeeze it, and another shoots fire
  80. >You think this is absolutely adorable and keep them
  81. >You see the griffins approaching once more
  82. >This time, you are going to fight them
  83. >They have never seen anything like you before
  84. >They have never seen fluffies who are smart enough to run away
  85. >They have definitely never seen fluffies who can fly- apparently the griffin-raped ones never bred well before you got here
  86. >And they have absolutely not seen any fluffy who can cast any magic of note
  87. >Your fluffy weapons burn them down to nothing in seconds
  88. >Oh lawdy, it smells like KFC
  89. >One charred griffin croaks out "When we do not return... more... of us... will come..."
  90. "Let them try."
  91. >Your breeding program continues, more aggressively
  92. >Some of these fluffies are taking longer to grow up, but when they do, they have a greater command of language
  93. >You are making them less fluffy, as well
  94. >One unicorn is bright orange, nearly fluff-less
  95. >She has a whole shit-ton of magic power, too
  96. >She is clearly Queen of the Fluffies, and you name her such
  97. >The griffins' return comes as promised.
  98. >Holy fuck, there's hundreds
  99. >The Queen orders you and all of the fluffy ponies to stay inside
  100. >She runs into the thick of the griffin horde, heedless of her own safety
  101. >ALLAHU AKBAR!
  102. >She blows them all to hell with a suicide explosion
  103. >All you see is a whole lot of griffin guts... and two alicorn foals, one white, one black
  104. >Neither have any fluff on them
  105. >You know immediately who these are
  106. >"Princess Celestia. Princess Luna."
  107. >The griffins never come back
  108. >Princess Celestia is more attuned to the Source than any fluffy.. no, not fluffy.. PONY before her
  109. >The princesses take a very long time to grow up
  110. >You become an old man as you teach them what you have learned from the show, and what ponies should be
  111. >There is a disturbance in the Force
  112. >You see a very familiar form in front of you
  113. "Discord."
  114. >"Oh, the creature knows me! Do you like what I've done with the place? I've made all these horses into little fluffy things that pop when you kill them.. but YOU. You've gone and tried to turn them back. I'm going to enjoy tormenting YOU."
  115. >"No, Discord, you will not!"
  116. >"Oh? And what's going to stop me?"
  117. >"Laughter. Kindness. Loyalty. Honesty. Generosity. MAGIC."
  118. >The Source breaks up into six spheres
  119. >Wielded by the Princesses, the Elements of Harmony turn Discord to stone.
  120. >Fluffies no longer breed the way they used to; they are now stallions and mares
  121. >With their magic, the Princesses can change them all to ponies, removing all traces of fluff
  122. >You know that the portal dropped you into the right place to begin with
  123. >But now you are old... too old to enjoy it
  124. >The Princess understands, and although she can not make you young again here, she can send you back home at the instant you left
  125. >"Before you go, Anonymous, there is one more question. Without your rape and systematic murder, we would have still been those... things! How did you ever get so good at it?"
  126. >"I'm from 4chan, Princess. That's what we do."
  127. >you return to your computer as if no time had passed
  128. >go back to jacking off to pony r34
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