[FLUTTERRAPE] Anon and Discord's Merry Adventures

>Day 10 in Equestria
>Wake up with a headache again
>This always happens in the morning
>Just another side effect
>Groggily get out bed and drag your feet on the way to the bathroom
>Rub your eyes with your hand and stare at the mirror
>Start slowly brushing teeth and preparing to shave
>Wake up as the routine goes on, ending with a hot shower to prepare you for the day
>Walk downstairs and pour some cereal
>Stare at it for a while
>These last few days have been weird
>Not so much that you're in a magical world filled with talking horses and are now living in a house too small for you
>Nor is it because you get harassed daily by the Avatar of Kindness
>No. It's a little bit more complicated than that
>Decide to eat the cereal then head out the door
>Gotta get to Applejack's early for work
>Feels mundane, man.
>The work isn't too hard. This world is somehow "softer" than Earth. Kicking trees doesn't shatter your bones like it should do
>And ponies have a hard time pushing you around since you're twice their height and according to Rainbow Dash after kicking you: "Are harder than concrete"
>Sigh and walk down the road
>Stop for a second to look at Sweet Apple Acres
>Smile
>It never fails to make you smile
>"Never fails to make me sick"
Oh there you are. Sleeping in again?
>"You wouldn't understand, monkey-boy."
>Let out a frustrated sigh and carry on towards the farm
>Life would have been simple here.
>But fate had other plans, or rather, Celestia did
>Because now you have the God of Chaos living in your head

1/14

I just want a nice easy day today, man. Can't you give me that?
>"First of all, I'm not a 'Man'. I'm a Draconequus. Second of all, you have no idea how boring it is up here."
Yeah well, I'm just as pissed off as you are. It wasn't exactly my choice for this to happen.
>It was pretty unfortunate, how it happened
>Upon arriving in Equestria, the first thing you saw was Celestia.
>She noticed that apart from being physically superior to most creatures in Equestria, bar Dragons and Hydras and the like-
>You also acted as an extraordinarily powerful magic block
>With this in mind, she told you that rather than risk Discord breaking free of his stone prison again, trapping him within you would render all his powers utterly useless, given your anti-magical nature
>He would spend the rest of his days inside your mind and body, unable to break out or use his powers of reality bending
>All you would need to do is put up with him until you died
>She also had to mention that by essentially becoming "one" with an Elder God, you also inherited immortality.
>Yeah, you were pretty pissed about the whole thing
>It's not so bad though, he spends most of his time complaining about how stupid ponies are and sleeping
>Sometimes he even offers advice on situations, though it's not always-
>"You should throw a pie at Granny Smith. She'll love it!"
>-Helpful.
I ain't doing that, Discord.
>"Oh come on, don't be boring! I'm feeling rather creative today, and with my brains and your lack of, we can prank this town till the cows come home!"
That's a horrible idea. I'm not here to cause trouble, I just want to live my life.
>"Pssh. So boring. When I first got here I thought you would be more fun than ponies. Guess I was wrong"
Hey! I'm loads of fun when I want to be, but throwing pies at infirm old ladies isn't the way to have fun.


2/14

>"I should start calling you Boreanon"
Don't.
>"Lord of all Boredom"
Shut up
>"With his wife, Boreyella"
Discord-
>"And a little pet dog called Borver"
SHUT UP!
>"Nope."
>You argue with God for a little while longer until you reach Sweet Apple Acres, where you're met with Applejack.
>"Mornin' Anon!"
>"Oh no, not her again..."
We work here, Discord. Of course we're going to see her again.
>"Who are ya-... Oh. Is HE givin' ya' lip again?"
Aye.
>Discord does a childish, yet accurate imitation of Applejack in your head
>You try not to smirk while she tells you what to do
>"So then ah want you to help me out in the western fields, can ya' do that?"
Sure thing.
>Applejack smiles at you
>"Thanks, Anon. It's real great to have ya' around to help"
>She blushes a little
>"Ah like havin' ya around"
Well ok then.
>Set off towards the barn to get your gear
>"Monkey Man?"
Yeah?
>"You're the most oblivious being in all of creation"
Oh what now?
>"You honestly can't see that she's falling for you?"
Why would she do that?
>Look back over your shoulder
>Applejack quickly looks away and pretends to sort out some barrels
>"Well you know these country types. They'll jump at anything with a set of legs and a personality"
>You sniff
>"Or lack of, in your case."

3/14

I can be personal if I want to be
>"You have no idea what I just said, do you?"
Nah
>You hear him sigh and mutter something about not deserving this punishment
>Sort out your stuff in the barn while you listen to him pine after his lovely stone prison
>Turn to the door and see Applejack staring at you
>"Oh, uhh, hey there, Anon! I was just uhh..."
>She trails off and looks at the floor
>Remember what Discord said about her
Hey, AJ... Do you wanna hang out after work?
>She looks up so fast you fear her neck would snap
>"Would ah ever!"
Great! I guess I'll meet you here then after we're done
>Applejack nods frantically and then prances off with a spring to her step
>"Told you she was into you."
You know, Discord. You aren't so bad for being of chaos.
>"The moment I convince you to get me out of this body I will lay waste to everything you ever looked at"
Well that's not very nice.
>"Gee, you think?"
>Go about your day kicking trees and catching apples
>Discord tells you tales of his days as a tyrannical ruler over the lowly pony
>He's quite the bard
See, what I don't get is this, you have all this power. Why not use it for good like Celestia
>He laughs
>"You think Celestia is GOOD?"
You mean she isn't?
>"Kid, if Celestia was gone, along with her moody sister, the Sun and Moon would return to their natural cycles. As would the seasons.
They control the seasons as well?
>"Of course! They control everything. This world was once wild and untamed, much like your world, with it's random thunderstorms and natural disasters"
>You forgot that he could sift through your memories at will
>He absolutely loves Earth
>"Ahh, I wish I could visit your world. All that senseless violence. All that random devestation"
>You hear him choking up
>"I-it's beautiful"
Are you crying?
>"N-no."

4/14

So you just love chaos that much, huh?
>"There's order in chaos, my friend."
>Friend. That's a new one
>"A world of chaos is a world of balance and TRUE harmony. Not this sappy "Friendship" nonsense that Celestia conjured up to control the population"
>"When I'm back in charge, I'm going to make Equestria like Earth"
Seriously?
>"Maybe you don't see it, Anon. Because you grew up in it. But Earth is my ideal world. It's ordered enough to have routines and control the chaos"
>"But when that chaos actually happens, BOY does it happen. Like an Earthquake. Everyone across the globe stops and stares and cries "oh no!", then the "order" of the world sets everything right again"
>"It means that when it happens, chaos is that much sweeter. And the randomness of it all is a thing of beauty"
>You stopped working to listen to his little speech
>You stare absentmindedly at a tree
So what you're saying is... Earth is the perfect world?
>"Yes"
Not an ordered, peaceful world like Equestria?
>"Too much order is a terrible thing, Anon. Chaos is the spice of life"
>You're so wrapped up in though that you fail to notice the tree looking at you
>Glance at it after a moment
>Stare at the tree
>The tree's teal blue eyes stare back
>Blink
>Tree Blink
>Cough
>Tree Cough
Wh-
>"IT'S FLUTTERSHY, YOU IMBECILE!"
Oh. Hi Fluttershy.
>"H-hello, Anon!"

5/14

So uhh, You're a tree, huh?
>Discord screams in frustration
>"Y-yes, are they your fetish"
Nope.
>"Oh, ok..."
>You and the tree stand around awkwardly for a while
>Eventually the tree speaks up
>"W-what IS your fetish?"
Dunno.
>More awkward silence
>"By the other Gods, it's like you two were made for eachother. One gormless idiot meets another. A match made in heaven"
Shut up, Discord
>"O-oh! Is Discord in there with you?"
>She looks more nervously at you
>"Hi... Discord"
>"Tell her I hate her"
He says hi.
>"Well umm... I'll just be going then..."
>The tree uproots itself and walks away on it's newfound legs
>You scratch your head, trying to figure out what you just saw
>Discord moans
>"Anon, I never thought I'd say this. But can you PLEASE get back to your boring job?"
Oh ok.
>Kick trees in silence for the rest of the afternoon
>As the imprisoned Sun casts an orange glow across the valley, you drag your last bucket full of apples next to the rest
>Look around for AJ
>See her peeping at you from behind a barrel
>Wave at her
>She jumps, as if startled that you found her amazing hiding spot
>She walks over nervously and stops at your feet
>"Golly... Uhh, I've never really done this before?"
Done what? We're just hanging out.
>"R-right... Right..."
>You both shuffle your feet and fidget
>"I don't know how you did it, Monkey. But you actually managed to out-awkward Fluttershy. Well done."
S-shut up Discord

6/14

>Applejack looks at you
>"Don't you be givin' Anon any trouble, ya hear, ya big ugly brute?"
>"Ouch. That stung. Not"
Real mature, Discord.
>Applejack glares, then grins at you with renewed confidence
>"Come on, Anon! Lets show that motherless monster a good night out!"
>"You know, I never told you about my mother..."
>You and Applejack walk happily into Ponyville, laughing at each other's jokes and remarks and just enjoying each other's company.
>"So then, ah told him I'd never date a stallion with an attitude like that!"
>You burst out laughing
>This whole time, Discord was reciting tales of his mother
>"...Of course, being with the Father Equestria can't have been easy. He was the creator of all you see, and she was just a demon. But they made it work, you know?"
>He sniffs
>"They made it work..."
>Smile at the idea of a demon and a mound of soil getting it on
>"MY FATHER WAS NOT A MOUND OF SOIL. TAKE IT BACK!"
Nope.
>Applejack looks at you
>"Sorry?"
Oh, Discord was just being silly.
>"Ah..."
>Her face falls a bit
>"Does he hate everyp0ny? Ah mean he's been around us fer a long enough time. I'd a' thought he'd a' changed"
>"I want her head on my desk by nightfall"
No, he's warming up to you all.

7/14

>You and AJ walk around town, buying food and laughing
>Both of you start getting tired so you decide to walk her back to the farm
>She's oddly quiet on the walk back
>Glance at her
>She's walking along with a massive smile on her face, her eyes half lidded from tiredness.
>You reach the front door of her house and she turns to face you
>"Ah had a real great time, tonight, Anon. Thanks"
>She blushes under the moonlight and looks you in the eyes
>You can't help but stare into hers
>Such beautiful green eyes
>You hold each other's gazes for a few minutes, content in each other's company
>Eventually the silence is broken
>On your end, anyway
>"OH JUST KISS HER FOR GOODNESS SAKE"
>Lean forward and lock your lips with hers
>Well, Discord was right about one thing. She was certainly into you.
>She fully engrosses herself in the kiss, moaning slightly
>It's wonderful
>"It's gross. Just break off already and we can go home. I want to sleep and forget this ever happened"
>You break the kiss slightly so you have room to breathe
>You gasp between breaths
Shut up, Discord
>And go back to kissing Applejack

8/14

>Day 11 in Equestria
>Wake up in a bed that isn't yours
>It's far too small, even by your normal bed's standards
>A fuzzy warmth can be felt on your chest
>Look down
>An orange ball of fuzz with a blonde mane is sleeping, cuddled up to your chest
>Look under the covers
>Naked
>Sniff the air
>Smells like victory
>Applejack stirs
>"Heh, mornin, Anon"
Morning, AJ
>Both stare at each other for a while
>She nuzzles you then hops out of bed
>She walks stiffly
Problem?
>"Yeah... Mah rear's a bit sore"
>Hell yeah, mother fucker
>Or Apple fucker, in your case
>On cue, Discord rises from his slumber, awoken by a terrible joke
>He yawns in your head
>"What did I miss?"
Uhhh
>"Wait. This isn't our room."
Well errr.
>"This isn't our house."
Thing is...
>Applejack walks back into the room, her mane is a complete mess and she's giving you bedroom eyes
>"What's up, Anon?"
>The seconds tick by slowly while you wait for Discord to put the pieces together

9/14

>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"
>There we are
>"YOU DID IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU AND HER- OH THAT'S JUST DISGUSTING! YOU'RE NOT EVEN THE SAME SPECIES!"
Your mother and father weren't the same species
>Applejack cocks her head
>"Huh?"
Discord just worked out what happened last night
>"Oh. Well i'm gonna make breakfast. Come down when you're ready"
>"MY MOTHER AND FATHER WERE AN EXCEPTION TO THE RULE. PONIES FOR PONIES, ANON. THAT'S THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS BEEN"
For a being of chaos, you sure are intolerant of non-conventional things
>"OH GODS I'M SEARCHING THROUGH YOUR MEMORIES NOW"
You don't have to...
>"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"
Hey, we both needed some release
>"USE YOUR HAND! YOU HAVE DONE IN THE PAST!"
Yeah but it's not the same
>"THIS IS THE WORST MORNING EVER."
Deal with it.
>He doesn't.
>Infact he screams all day
>Since it's a weekend you're off work, so you decide to head on home after saying goodbye to AJ and the family
>You don't like the knowing look Granny Smith gave you>
>Reach your front door
I'm gonna make something to eat, but I've got no ideas. What should we eat, Discord?
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH"
Good choice!
>You walk into your house to make a sandwich but freeze when you reach the kitchen
>Fluttershy is there. Sat at the kitchen table and glaring at you.

10/14

>"Oh, hello, ANON."
...Hey.
>"Have a nice time last night?"
Yes?
>She grinds her teeth together
>"So why wasn't I informed? Are you trying to test me, Anon? Why didn't you tell me you were stayng out last night?"
What's it to you? You're not my mother.
>"I WAS WORRIED SICK!"
YOU DON'T EVEN LIVE HERE
>"I LIKE TO MAKE SURE YOU FALL ASLEEP SAFE AND SOUND"
THAT'S CREEPY AS SHIT
>"IT'S CALLED LOVE, ANON"
>You both breathe heavily
>Fluttershy looks a bit crazy
>Her mane is a wreck and her eyes are red and bloodshot
Look, I spent the night with Applejack, ok? Stop trying to make it seem like you and I are in a relationship, because we're not.
>Fluttershy twitches
Now get out of my house
>She's completely motionless, her eyes are glazed
>She opens her mouth and says slowly
>"Apple... Jack?"
>Oh god
>OH GOD
>Discord chuckles
>"My my, what was it you said to Fluttershy? Oh, I'm sure I have the memory around here somewhere"
>You hear him shuffle through what seems like paper
>You imagine him sitting in an office with your memories in a filing cabinet
>"Actually, yes, that's exactly what it's like in here. I have to sleep in an Office. But anyway, here's the memory"
>"Ahem: 'No Fluttershy, I will never have sex with you, I'm not into Ponies. Not now, not ever' End quote"
>You stand in stunned silence for a few seconds, Watching Fluttershy slip further down the mental ladder into insanity
>"So uhh, This is usually the part where you run, Anon. She's starting to remind me of my ex"
You had a girlf-
>"ANON!"
>Fluttershy hits rock bottom on the sanity scale and flips your kitchen table
>She then charges you
>Sidestep, watching her fly into your wall as you run out the front door
>"Oh ho ho, now this will be fun!"
SHUT THE FUCK UP, DISCORD

11/14

>Run as fast as you can towards Sweet Apple Acres
>Hear Fluttershy behind you, smashing anything in her way aside
>Watch as cart flies over your head and crashes through the wall of a building
>Look over your shoulder
>Fluttershy's eyes are twitching non-stop and she has a look of pure rage on her face
>"WHEN I CATCH YOU, I'LL MAKE YOU LOVE ME!"
>"It's always the quiet ones"
>Hear Discord munching
Are you... Eating... Popcorn...?
>"Yup."
>Fluttershy screams some more and you start to hear wing flaps behind you
>Shitshitshit
>Nearly at Sweet Apple Acres
>See Applejack lingering around doing odd jobs in the distance
>Pick up the pace, despite your burning chest
>You'd rather die from exhaustion then be left at the mercy of Fluttershy
>"Did you know that even if you die, I'll still be bound to your decomposing body? Just an interesting though, oh and watch out for that tree branch"
>A tree branch smacks you in the face, causing your nose to bleed
>Carry on running, nursing your bloody nose and cursing Discord under your breath
>"Hey, 'man', I did warn you"
Shutupshutupshutup
>Applejack sees you coming in the distance and smiles, waving at you
>She then gasps and a worried look crosses her face
>Look over your shoulder
>Fluttershy is about 2 meters behind you, and gaining
>"I WILL FUCK YOU SO HARD YOUR PELVIS WILL BReaK!"
>"Oh wow, that's new. Didn't think she had it in her to swear"
>Feel Fluttershy make contact with you just as you get to Applejack and you all go tumbling into a pile

12/14

>You try to scramble away
>Applejack is a bit dazed from the collision but otherwise ok
>Fluttershy on the other hand is trying to tear your pants off, probably trying to fuck you out in the open
>"What do you mean, "Probably"? Of course she is! Man up and do the deed. You already screwed a farmer, how much worse is a vet?"
>Don't reply
>"Hell, after that you may as well have your way with ALL the Elements of Harmony! Oh! But do Twilight last. I want to watch her squirm."
>Now that was just creepy
>"Damn right."
>Fluttershy finally gets your pants off, despite your struggling and tries to fondle you
>Applejack finally gets up, rubbing her head and sees Fluttershy
>"HEY! WHAT DO YA' THINK YA' DOIN'?"
>She bucks Fluttershy off you
>Fluttershy recovers from the kick and stands, glaring at you and Applejack
>"He's MINE! I loved him first!"
>This take Applejack by surprise
>Hear Discord eating more popcorn and sipping from a straw
>"Ooh I always did love drama."
>"Look, Sugarcube, Ah'm sure you like Anon, and all, but ah do too. An' he likes me, dontcha Anon?"
>She looks up at you and smiles
>You can't help but smile back
Yeah, I do
>"Boo! Needs more pie throwing!"
>Fluttershy growls
>"But I was the one that found him! Finders keepers!"
>Applejack snorts
>"Really? Ya' gonna claim ownership over him now? Come on, Fluttershy. Be more reasonable"
>"NO! I WON'T! HE'S MINE!"
>She lunges for you

13/14

>Without thinking you stretch out your hands infront ouf you to protect yourself
>Close your eyes and wait for the impact
>It never happens
>Applejack gasps
>"Anon... How are ya' doin' that?"
>Open your eyes and look
>Fluttershy is suspended in the air, held up by a golden aura
>She flails around helplessly
>"Put me down! Please!"
Discord! What's happening here?
>Discord chuckles darkly
>"Well... I never expected this to happen. Seems you may have inherited more than my immortality, my friend."
>You eyes widen
You mean-
>"Oh yes."
So I can-
>"Yep"
>Stare at the suspended Fluttershy for a while
>A grin comes across your face as you telepathically fling her away from you
>She hits the floor and stares at you in horror
>Applejack is in awe
>"Anon! Ah never knew ya' had magic!"
Yeah, neither did I...
>"Hey, Anon."
Yeah, Discord?
>"Want to go scare the hell out of Twilight Sparkle?"
>Smile
I think I do.
>Snap your fingers and phase out of reality in a flash of light, with Discord cackling maniacally in your head the entire time

14/14
The End