The Truth about Lennart Poettering

 Once upon a time there was a young man. He traveled all throughout the land spreading cancer and disease and laughing about it. One day, he stumbled upon the world of computers. This man was so adept at learning, that he decided to learn how to code and spread cancer and disease among computers as well. Because he wanted to start small, the man decided to choose an OS that had a decent number of users, but did not saturate the market. He chose Linux. The man sat down and worked day and night to develop the most cancerous software that he could. At first glance, the software was glorious and helpful and people thought it would spread love and happiness throughout the land. However, by the time they realized how dangerous it was, it was too late. Too many distributions found workarounds to make it work, and supplied it by default in their install media. Only the few, the small, the KISS-oriented distros stayed away. However, due to supporting the freedom of their users, they reluctantly supplied this software in the repositories. Time went on, and people forgot about how cancerous this software was. When the man came out with another, even more sinister piece of software, everyone embraced it. Even the KISS-oriented distros welcomed it with open arms. They incorporated it by default and deprecated the older, more trusted software. The man sat at home, smirking, knowing full well that his creations of PulseAudio and SystemD would never go away. Lennart Poeterring is a menace and a beast, and we will never be able to escape. The End.