AiE: A Routine Procedure

>the heart monitor beeps steadily as you lie in the hospital bed
>your friends are here with you to show their support
>Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, all of them
>giving reassuring comments, stroking the back of your hand with a hoof, telling you everything will be okay
>you don't like hospitals
>or needles
>or doctors
>you'd put it off long enough though
>the pain was becoming unbearable
>you finally caved in to the doctor's recommendations for surgery
>a nurse enters the room and injects your IV bag with some kind of drug
>"he's going to start feeling a little loopy in a few minutes. We'll be wheeling him back to the operating room soon," the nurse says
>almost immediately you feel like you're floating
>the faces of the ponies standing over you starting to become blurry
>"don't worry pal, you're gonna be just fine, we're all here for you" Dash says reassuringly.
>you don't quite make out what the rest of them say, and soon you're whisked away, a huge smile plastered on your drugged face
"I luoofff you guzz" you yell before disappearing behind a set of double doors
>the last thing you see is a mask being placed over your face, being told to breathe deeply and count back from ten
"te---"
>just like that you're out

>as you start to come to, you hear muffled voices and fractured conversation
>"--ome complicati-- surg-- vegetati-- care of--"
>you hear what sounds like sniffling and crying
>can't see anything, your eyes won't open no matter how hard you try
>mouth won't work, can't say anything
>your hearing gradually returns to normal, but nothing else seems to be working
>you're immediately stricken with panic
>this was supposed to be a routine procedure, what the hell happened?

>"Can't he stay here in the hospital any longer?"
>"I'm afraid not, we're not really equipped here for long-term care of patients in a persistent vegetative state... and your friend didn't leave any instructions about what he'd like us to do in the event something like this happens... he'll stay alive as long as he's kept nourished, but as far as anything medical there's nothing more we can do for him..."
>persistent vegetative state? what? it's only been an hour or two at the most...
>...right?
>.....right?
>the next thing you feel is your dead weight being flopped down on your bed, your eyelids crack open ever so slightly
>you're in your bedroom at home
>the purple aura surrounding you vanishes as your weight comes to rest on the mattress beneath you
>"We'll all have to take shifts taking care of him..." Twilight says with a sigh.
>You feel a hoof on your arm and see a white mare's face in front of yours, looking deeply troubled. "Don't worry, Anon darling, we're all here for you..."
>"Rarity, he can't hear you..." Dash chimes in
>"I know, but I felt like I needed to say it..."
>I can hear you just fine, what the hell is this shit?
>your body ignores every command you give it to move or make a sound
>you're overcome with an indescribable sense of dread
>you're a prisoner in your own body
>your perception of time is absolutely warped, but you're aware of the sounds around you
>you can feel when you're being bathed, and each time the mush from your feeding tube meets your stomach
>this goes on and on and on
>sometimes you'll hear Twilight's voice
>"You're going to bounce back from this Anon, I just know it... we'll never leave you..."
>sometimes it's Dash
>"Got the new Daring Do book here... figured I'd read to ya.. y'know... just in case..."
>but there are also long periods of silence
>they're almost torturous in length, seeming to last an eternity

>you're always relieved to hear a familiar voice
>and calmed by the fact that your friends are taking care of you
>but as the months drag on, things start to change
>the quiet periods seem to last even longer
>when you hear the clopping of hoofsteps in the room there's hardly ever a voice accompanying it
>your body is tossed somewhat haphazardly into the tub when you're bathed
>things only worsen over time
>sometimes hear angry grunting or sniffling
>"no, it's YOUR turn, I'm busy!"
>"I can't be bothered with it, I have my own problems to deal with today"
>"Don't look at me, he can go a couple days without food, it's not like it matters anyway"
>more and more the words you hear become increasingly harsh
>you feel a set of hind hooves kick your bed
>"I'M SO SICK OF THIS, WHY DON'T YOU JUST DIE ALREADY?"
>"UGh... I took care of him LAST Thursday, it's YOUR turn..."
>the periods of silence start to last for days at a time
>these extended periods of silence interspersed with short bouts of grumbling, frustrated voices, angry slamming of hooves, cursing aimed in your direction
>your friends, the ponies you love with all your heart...
>they're starting to hate you
>they DO hate you...
>they don't know you're still in there
>just see you as a tedious chore, nothing more
>none of them reads or talks to you anymore
>whenever one of them comes around they get whatever needs to be done finished as swiftly as they can, sometimes half-heartedly
>the pain welling up inside of you is unbearable
>but you can't cry
>you can't talk
>you can't scream
>you can't die
>you're not useful anymore
>you're not loved
>you're not anything
>you want it all to stop
>but there's nothing you can do about it
>nobody can hear your pleas
>and they probably wouldn't care at this point even if they could

>you just are.


>ten years. It might as well have been a hundred thousand.
>you've tried every day to fight
>to force your body to comply with the commands your brain is sending
>but it proves fruitless every time
>except today...
>you hear a set of hoofsteps and a disgruntled sigh
>now's your chance
>you focus as hard as you can
>your eyelids feel like they weigh a ton, but slowly they lift
>you see a familiar white unicorn
>she looks at you, and does a double take, dropping whatever she had been holding with a loud clang
>"Oh my goodness!"
>tears well up in your eyes, and you feel them roll down your cheeks as your eyelids close once again
>you hear Rarity gasp as she takes your hand between her hooves
>"Anon, can you hear me?"
>just the one blink required what felt like more exertion than running a marathon, but you have to do it again
>you have somepony's attention for the first time in over a decade
>you can't let this opportunity slip
>you summon all your mental strength and blink again, it's a little bit easier this time, but you fail to hold your eyes open
>"Oh Sweet Celestia... I'm here Anon, I'm here... I can see you... stay with me..."
>Rarity seems panicked, not sure if she should stay by your side or run and get the rest of your friends
>you force your eyes open once again, and this time they stay open
>you move your eyes down, and then up, and then side to side, trying to eliminate any doubt in her mind that you're starting to come out of it
>you blink away more tears, feeling Rarity gently dab them away with a tissue
>you feel your weight shift slightly as Rarity takes a seat on your bed, staring into your eyes
>"Anon... if you can understand me, blink twice...."
>you manage to comply, each blink becoming easier

>you finally have a link to the outside world
>the tears don't stop flowing as Rarity continues to talk to you
>when she's sure you won't slip back under she races to tell the others
>for three weeks, they're all there
>you can finally communicate with them, granted you can only blink for yes or no, but it's better than nothing
>the loving care that was such a distant memory comes back in full force
>it seems like you're never left alone for even a second now
>you start to be able to move your eyebrows as well
>and then your lips
>Twilight is the first one to see you smile in ten years
>her tears drip onto your face as she lovingly hovers over you, gently encouraging you to try harder, to move more, to say something
>you're able to move your lower jaw just enough for your lips to part, managing to give a short, weak grunt
>several weeks pass like this, your recovery is painfully slow, you still can't speak

>today you manage to turn your head...
>to lift a finger...
>to raise your arm...
>and then your biggest victory...
>as Dash sits vigilantly next to you one day, you turn your head toward her
"I'm.... alive...." you barely manage to stammer out
>she jumps from her seat as if she'd been kicked, her wings giving an excited flap
>"I know, Anon, I know... we all know..."
>you raise your head and struggle for the next few words
"I.... always... was..."
>your head falls back onto the pillow, your eyes closing as fresh tears roll down your face

>slowly but surely, you regain control of your body
>it's an uphill battle the whole way, but eventually you're up and walking again
>able to take care of yourself
>your life starts to return to normal
>it's almost as if nothing ever happened
>but the torture of the last ten years definitely took its toll on you
>you want to tell them you could hear them the whole time
>all the nasty, terrible things they said to you
>you want them to know how badly they hurt you
>every time they cursed at you
>or wished you were dead
>or carelessly tossed you around
>you're happy to have your life and your friends back, but you just can't hold it in any longer
>you decide you're going to talk to each of them, one-on-one, and tell them everything
>your whole body trembles as you swallow a lump in your throat just thinking about it, choking back tears

>Rarity is first
>you raise your fist to knock on the door, hesitating briefly
>it opens without giving you a chance
>"Oh, Anonymous!! Come in, come in! It's so good to see you..."
>"Have a seat dear, I'll go put on some tea and--"
"Rarity... skip the tea, I just need to talk to you..."
>you slump over as you take a seat on her chaise
>"Of course, darling," she says with a concerned look in her eyes, sitting on her haunches in front of you, "what is it?"
>you clear your throat, your eyes remaining fixed on the floor, unable to even look at her
"You know I appreciate everything you and the others have done for me..."
>Rarity smiles and nuzzles your hand, but you pull it away
>she gives you a confused look, tilting her head slightly
>your tears are already splattering on the floor
"All these years... the whole time... I could hear and feel everything you did and said... the entire ten years...."

>"Oh.... oh Anon I--"
"You don't need to say anything... but you needed to know..."
>you wipe your face with the back of your hand
"You all need to know."
>Rarity's mouth hangs agape, her lower jaw trembling as tears of her own well up in her eyes
"Every day, all I wanted to do was die, knowing how much of an inconvenience I was becoming..."
>Rarity's face contorts in pain and sympathy, her ears folding flat as she hangs her head in shame
>"I... I didn't... that wasn't... I never meant..."
"I don't even want an apology," you squeak out as you stand up and slowly walk to the door
"I just want you to know I still love you all and I forgive you for hurting me..."
>your legs feel weak as you close the door behind you, Rarity still sitting there completely stunned
>you stumble a few steps and fall to your knees in the dirt, grabbing your stomach as you wretch violently and vomit
>that took more of a toll on you than you thought it would
>a couple of young fillies walking by take notice of you
>"are you okay, mister?"
>you give them a half-hearted smile and a dismissive flick of your hand
>their genuine concern melts your heart
"I'll be okay little ones, run along now and don't mind me."
>when you finally regain your composure you start to make your way to Sugarcube Corner
>Pinkie might as well be next

>Pinkie instantly knows by the look on your face that something's wrong when you walk through the door
>"Nonny? You okay?"
>you pick the pink pony up and give her a good squeeze
>over all those years, she was the one that complained the least
>she giggles a bit and squirms in your grasp as you hug her, wrapping her forehooves around you and hugging you back
>"My goodness you're affectionate today," she giggles as you set her back down. "I love a good hug as much as the next pony, but something tells me that's not all you're here for. So what brings you around?"
"I... I..." you give an exasperated sigh, all at once feeling nauseous again
>Pinkie's smile vanishes, replaced with a look of concern as she grabs a stool for you to sit down on
>"What is it, Nonny? You can tell me anything!"
"I just wanted... t..to thank you, for everything you did for me..."
>"Aww shucks, it wasn--"
"But I also need you to know something very important... I could hear you and the others..."
>Her mane and tail instantly go flat as she puts a hoof on your knee and looks at you with a pained expression"
>"The whole time?"
"The whole time."
>You put a hand on her hoof
"You needed to know..."
>"Who... who else have you told?"
"Just you and Rarity so far..."
>you start to feel dizzy and weak
>"Oh Nonny... I hope you never... I hope you don't think that I... I..."
>You pull her into your lap again, hugging her tight as you cry into her mane and she cries into your shoulder
"It's okay, Pinkie... it's all okay..."
>after spending several minutes embracing each other you gently set her on the floor and give her a little scritch behind her ear before showing yourself out
>maybe you should wait to tell the others
>you're already emotionally drained today
>you start to make your way home with the intent of crashing and sleeping it off, but you hear a familiar voice call to you from above
>"Hey Anon!" Dash says as she lands in front of you, "Whatcha up to?"

>She immediately takes notice of your puffy, watery eyes
>"Have you been crying?"
>"N..no.. well.. yes.. well.. sort of..."
>Dash's eyebrows furrow with anger as she takes flight again and hovers in front of you, placing a hoof on your shoulder
>"Alright pal, tell me who it is and what they did right now, and I--"
"Dash, just don't..."
>"Hey, if somepony hurt you I'm not gonna let 'em get away with it, now tell me what happened so I know whose hindquarters to kick..."
"Come on Dash, I really don't want to talk about it anymore right now..."
>you gently push her aside and keep walking
>"Oh no you don't," she says as she catches up to you, "a friend doesn't let a frie--"
>you wheel around and snap at her
"A FRIEND DOESN'T WISH THEIR FRIEND WOULD DIE!"
>that came out a lot harsher than you intended
>"What... what do you mean?"
"I think you know what I mean..."
>there's a long silence
>"You... you heard that?"
>you just nod your head
>"Anon, look, I didn't-"
"Save it, Dash. I'm really not in any mood right now... just stop."
>"but I..."
"Go home Dash..."
>"I'm sorry..."
"Yeah? Well so am I. Sorry that I wasted your precious time. Sorry that I didn't die on the operating table for you. Sorry that I inconvenienced you with my terribly selfish need to be fed and groomed. I'm sorry for all of it."
>Dash looks absolutely stunned, you've never seen her cry but she looks on the verge of tears
>You didn't want to be angry when you had this discussion with her, but you're past the point of controlling that now
>You storm away from her without saying anything else, and she follows you the last few yards to your house
>"Anon? We... we're still friends right?"
>you slam the door in her face without answering her, dragging yourself to your bed and collapsing in a weepy mess, crying yourself to sleep

>You lay in your bed for days after that
>not getting up to eat, barely drinking anything, not showering or shaving
>ignoring repeated knocking at your front door and tapping on your window
>they probably all know it by now, but you're still not ready to see or talk to them quite yet
>your mind is locked in a raging battle with itself
>part of you is filled with anger and resentment for all the pain you went through
>the other part desperately wants to completely forget about it and welcome them all back into your life with love and forgiveness
>the latter usually ends up winning
>you look like hell and can't shake the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach
>you might be able to forgive them, but you'll never forget what you went through
>you should probably think about seeing a shrink
>that's a hell of a lot of baggage to try to deal with on your own
>nah, last thing you want is to have to talk more about it
>better to focus your effort on burying it and trying to rebuild your friendships
>you hear your front door open
>someone got sick of knocking and decided to let themselves in
>you stumble out of your bedroom in your disheveled state to see who it is, finding six ponies standing in your living room, all looking at you with mixed feelings of shame, remorse, and concern
>you slowly scan the room, making sure to make contact with each of them
>you simply collapse in your recliner without saying a word, you could cut the tension in the air with a knife

>you close your eyes and sigh, feeling yourself start to tremble
>you have no idea what to say
>and apparently neither do they
>you stand up with the intent to leave the room, but your legs give out on you
>you feel a warm magical aura surround you and gently lower you to the floor
>your head comes to rest on Twilight's side just below her wing as she lies down next to you
>you feel two more ponies scoot up under each of your arms, another on your chest and two more across your lap
>maybe nothing needs to be said
>they're all here with you
>for you
>right now
>you're completely surrounded by their softness and warmth
>you run your fingers through silky smooth manes and over soft, supple bodies, scritching here and patting there
>the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach gradually subsides
>blinking tears away you manage to sputter "I still love you guys..."
>they all know what they did, and it's clear they never meant to hurt you
>whatever might have happened in the past, in this moment you feel safe, secure, and loved
>and that's all that matters

fin.