The Oomakudakeodkdodecahedron - Chapter VI

The Oomakudakeodkdodecahedron

Chapter VI

When Cecil had been a boy of fifteen, just a few months before he’d met Sir Ludwig, Marigold the Titania, who he’d grown up calling auntie, invited him to her grove, to play some games. Those games had been varied, and it had taken all day and all night.
“Cecil”, she had said to him, “you’re big boy now, and you need to learn what it means to be a man”.
“But I know what that means, Auntie Marigold! It’s when I put my peepee in a girl!” he’d replied, and the both of them giggled, but then she’d gotten serious.
“That’s all well and good, Cecil, but as a man, you have to be able to do more than that”
“What, like use my tongue?” he’d asked, and they’d giggled again, remembering the many times he had done so.
“Oh no, young man. Come, follow me, and I will show you…”

Sir Ludwig groaned and gestured with his hand for Cecil to be quiet.
“I appreciate you trying to help, but please don’t tell me about your sexual exploits” he told his squire.
“But that’s not what the story is abo-“
“Quiet! Please. I’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime”
“Don’t be so glum, Ludwig-san, we know how to heal an injured pelvis” the voice of the nurse said from behind the paper door.
Ludwig groaned again. “Is… is she still here?” he asked, directing his question to the nurse.
“Miss Kimiko has left already, but she did leave a letter addressed to you, Ludwig-san” she said.
“Cecil, go fetch it” the knight ordered, and the squire happily skipped off.

The room was known as a “respite chamber”. The brothel had many of them, and they were intended for men like him, who, as a result of their vigorous virility, ended up with some injuries in the region of the pelvis and groin. Resting quietly in a bed with medical braces built around his damaged goods, Sir Ludwig stared at the ceiling and thought back on how he’d ended up in this situation in the first place.
Using a new weapon for the first time in a combat situation rather than as part of training had been a mistake on his part, of course. Bara Khan had taught him that, but over time he’d ignored it, because of conceit. But blaming the weapon was not right; he’d hardly used it at all, after all. The silly wooden sandals had played a part in his downfall as well. Why on earth did the people in this land use shoes like that anyway? You couldn’t move in them properly, and come winter your feet would just freeze. It’s because of those shoes that he tripped while trying to dodge. Yes, the shoes were a bigger problem than the sword had been. Could he really blame either completely for his failure, though?
No. Sir Ludwig, knight errant, had failed because his enemy had simply been too good for him. Maybe if he’d been properly prepared for a fight, with the right mentality, with the right gear, maybe then things would have been different. But he’d only known that the enemy he was facing was the Monster he’d been looking for, for a few seconds before the battle. If he had known it long enough to prepare himself mentally, to realize that yes, this was a fearsome beast… but he hadn’t. There were countless buts and ifs, all of which were just him making excuses. The matter of the fact was that he’d failed. He’d lost the fight, and not after a valiant struggle, oh no, he’d been caught off-guard at first, and then he’d failed to compensate for the situation and then her pincers had pierced his buttock and calf and there’d been a quick sting of pain, and then it was over. There was just nothing he could do after that bite had connected. The pain went away quickly, and then he felt warm and light-headed, and then hot and horny, and he ripped off his own clothes and tossed away the armour and the weapon and just leapt on the Oomukade, who had undone her own robes by then, revealing a thin, pale body, covered in curious tattoos as a contrast, looking so oddly plain and yet it was enough for him.
The aphrodisiac venom had overridden Ludwig’s reason. He’d experienced this kind of thing before, of course, but it had been a long time since last time, and it felt so much stronger than he’d remembered it feeling. The Mukade embraced him, held his face to her modest bosom, and then coiled around him, covering him from head to toe, like Lamias tended to do, but it felt harder and firmer because of the chitin shell.
With the months of celibate sailing added up to the venom injected into him, Ludwig burst as soon as he felt the pressure of her warm walls around his manhood.
“Well that’s no good” she’d said, disappointed.
“Grrhgh!” Ludwig groaned, and kept thrusting his hips, grabbing her upper body in a bear-hug. He wasn’t thinking about anything, but his subconsciousness must’ve been directing him to struggle against and spite the enemy, no matter the method.
“You’re not, hhgghh, really, mhh, putting any, ahh, effort intoooohhh, my pleasuuuu, oooh for heaven’s sake, slow down!” the Mukade snapped, and then squeezed her coils so tight Ludwig’s wild hips couldn’t move anymore.
“I didn’t bite you so you could fill me up like a dumpster, you know! Now are you going to calm down or are you going to keep being selfish?” she’d asked.
Ludwig hadn’t said anything. He’d been in no condition to speak, save with body language. With the great strength he’d built over his lifetime, with all his efforts concentrated, he thrust back, and then forth, and back, and forth!
“You’re impossible” the Oomukade said, petting his hair. “But you’re not crying yet. That’s good. Everyone in there was just a big baby”
The mad thrusts were still being hindered, making Ludwig’s pace slower.
“Mmm-hm. Slow. Nice and slow. That’s… slightly better” she whispered, her antennae digging down to the sides of his face and caressing him. Ludwig barely paid any attention to the touch, just grunted with every thrust.
“You are more than your loins, aren’t you? Touch me” she commanded. It had no effect.
“Like this!” she said, guiding his callused hands along the smooth skin of her back.
“Mmhh, kind of rough…” she purred. “Now kiss me”
For whatever reason, Ludwig obeyed, kind of. He slobbered over her chest, eliciting a giggle.
“You’re just a big baby too, aren’t you?” she berated him, but her tone carried no malice, not even a hint of seriousness.
“Mrrh!” Ludwig growled, and managed to find a nipple to lick. He still wasn’t thinking straight, so he didn’t consciously tease her, but he somehow managed to.
“Eeheheh, I was wrong, you’re a big boy after all” the Mukade rectified her earlier statement, her voice revealing some surprise.
Ludwig applied his teeth to the work at hand.
“Hhh!” she gasped, an arched her back to pull away from him without loosening her coils. Her escape failed, however, as Ludwig’s arms pulled her back with brute force, and thrust again, and again, making her gasp louder.
“Y-you!” she exhaled without any real meaning behind her statement, and suddenly her coils weren’t constraining Ludwig’s movements anymore, and then he was wildly moving in and out again, rubbing his face into that small, perky bosom, salivating all over it. She smelled like oranges for some reason. Why would a girl smell like oranges?
Ludwig came again, without warning. It caught him off-guard, and for a moment he went rigid, allowing the Mukade a moment to gather herself.
“You’re intense” she said, petting his hair and tightening her coils again. “But you need to pace yourself. You’ll just hurt yourself like this. You’ll hurt ME like this” she whispered, locking Ludwig in place and using her scuttly little legs to shift their position so that he was lying beneath her. The Mukade bent her back and pulled away, and Ludwig merely stared at her body while she ran her hands through her hair and smiled with a blush on her face, her eyes half-closed.
“Come on. Touch me again” she suggested, running her own hands over her chest, down her breasts, down her belly, until she reach his hands and then guided them up the same way, shivering at the coarseness of his hands.
As for Ludwig, he felt he was being boiled in his own lust. He wanted to keep moving. Two ejaculations didn’t feel like they’d really done anything for him. He was still so hard it made his member ache, the veins in it throbbed with his racing heart, his hips were trying to move back and forth with no real input from him, he felt feverish, he felt hot, it was uncomfortable, he just wanted to sink in her, she felt cool, like a pool of water, only he knew she was hot, he could feel it, but his head seemed to be in a haze, and even if it didn’t make any sense, he felt like the only source of relief was in the coolness of her heat?

The smell of oranges permeated Ludwig’s mind again, and so he squeezed them. No juice came out, of course. They were just the tits of a girl who wasn’t lactating. But he liked the feel of those little lumps of fat, small enough for his big hands to cover up completely. He kneaded them like dough for a bit, as if on instinct. Maybe it was on instinct, that’s how he’d done it when he was first presented with a pair of breasts that he wasn’t expected to use for sustenance. How did he remember that when he couldn’t think straight anyway? He wanted to move his hips again, but he still couldn’t, so he just gasped a bit and moved one hand along her side and to her back, to pull her in closer again. She was too strong for that, or maybe he was too weak for that, or maybe neither of them actually wanted to do it, which was odd, considering he felt like he very much wanted to.
“Did you notice? We’ve got an audience” the Oomukade pointed out, waving her head so her hair fell on her face. Ludwig could see her blushing even harder. Audience?
The knight tried to see, but her chitin body covered his field of view where it didn’t already consist of her body.
“Don’t you mind them, it’s just us now” she whispered. “I’ve been having a bad day, and you just might make it a little better”
Showing off the kind of agility Ludwig had come to expect from Cats and Lamias, the Mukade stretched back and contorted herself so that her head and shoulders simply disappeared from Ludwig’s view, lifting up her body so that he was greeted by the sight of her belly-button rather than breasts.
“Kiss me again” she moaned from somewhere up above him, and Ludwig obeyed, kissing her tummy ferociously. Licking away at her cooled his tongue and kissing her cooled his lips, while making the flames that burned him feel hotter, making him need the relief the act gave him even more. This was some sorcery, surely!
“You’re feeling it, right? I bought that charm at a shrine! It feels good right?” the Mukade asked, confirming Ludwig’s suspicions.
“It’s just a little charm to make you appreciate me more” she went on. “Girl like me needs that kind of help sometimes. All the time, really”
“It’ll pass after you come again, so just say when you’re ready to keep going”
“Fhhhuuhh!” Ludwig moaned.
“A crueller woman would make you say it properly” the Mukade pointed out, lowering herself back down, hugging his head into her breasts and then started moving her own hips.
“I’m on fire too” she whispered into his ear.
“Just a little though”
There was little to say after that. Ludwig and the Mukade ground their hips, found a common rhythm, and soon enough the fires in him subsided. With great relief he sighed and relaxed, only to notice that a part of him was in no way intending to take a rest.
“You’ve got to be kidding me…” he mumbled, thinking back on a time in his youth when he’d experienced something similar. In the Desert Region, it had been…
“You still with me?” the Oomukade interrupted his reverie, rolling around so he ended up on top this time.
“Yheah!” the amorous knight said, ready to let loose. The missionary position, that was more his thing! Man like him was supposed to lead!
Ludwig found himself free to move his hands and arms, and he took advantage of this immediately. When taking charge, it was crucial to pin the girl down properly, and so he caught her by her smooth forearms and slid his hands up to her wrists, finding her hands, which felt almost fragile in their delicacy, and yet... he couldn’t have forced her arms anywhere without her compliancy, this much was clear. He could feel the muscles under her skin, quite invisible, so well hidden, but there it all was, strength beyond most mortal men, beyond even some immortal men, Ludwig feared. Her fingers parted to make way for his, and soon they were holding hands as he slowly and gently moved his hips, and then he kissed her chest, and then her neck, and again her neck.
“That’s far enough” she said, interrupting him before he could move up to her face with his kisses. Ludwig had no intention of obeying, but as he approached, his lips met her antennae. They were almost tentacle-like in their flexibility, and wrapped around his head.
“Be nice” the Mukade commanded him. So he was nice, and didn’t try to kiss her above the neck anymore. After that everything seemed to peter down. He no longer felt the burning desire of the charm, nor did the venom seem to be making him feel as good as it had. He had probably sweated the stuff out, or maybe it wasn’t something that lasted long. His hips were starting to ache, and he didn’t want to keep moving anymore. She stopped being responsive as well, and after a while he came for the last time, just a little. When he had finished, his vision began to blur.
“Getting sleepy? It’s okay. You need rest. You did better than most, but you’re hurt”
That was just plain insulting! Ludwig tried to grit and bear, to keep going, but then all he saw was black, his head felt light and he had gone limp.
“Hush now” she whispered, and then he’d woken up in the respite chamber, and sure enough he really had been hurt.

Cecil returned with the letter, which had been wrapped into a scroll and closed with a ribbon. Ludwig took it, opened it, and understood nothing.
“I can’t read this” he said.
“Can I try Sir Ludwig?” asked the squire.
“You can read Zipangese?”
“Oh. No”
“Then why did you even offer to try?”
The boy seemed a little embarrassed. “Well sir, I thought maybe you’re just old and your eyes are tired…”
Ludwid glared at him.
“Sorry” Cecil apologized, his eyes downcast.
“Maybe I could help?” the nurse offered. Huh. She was so bland, she’d quite blended into the background – or maybe the foreground – and Ludwig had forgotten she was even here.
“Please” he asked, handing the letter to her.
The nurse’s eyes sped along the lines, and her face reddened, her lips parted and her tongue began to droop in the same manner as Ludwig had seen happen with the Ghouls and most canine Monsters, only this tongue just kept drooping and drooping and by the gods it was longer than his arm!
The nurse pulled her tongue back in and smiled.
“It is a very intimate letter, Ludwig-san” she said. “Perhaps it is for the best if…” she left the end of the sentence hanging in the air out of discretion. Cecil didn’t get the hint, and Ludwig shrugged it off.
“Just read it, missy” he ordered.
“Very well. Ahem.

‘To the man they call Rudowigu:
You are a very, very strong man. I can tell, for I have known many in battle and in bed. You are better than most in bed, but you could be better. You are not very good in battle, but with some training you might be. Of course I know you are foreign, and that your weapon was unfamiliar to you, but a real warrior would not use such excuses, and I’m sure you are one, or at least what passes for a real warrior in foreign lands.
I will go seek the Ryu at Half-Moon Temple to learn my future. If you are a part of it, we will meet again. If not, you can try to make your own destiny, if you dare. You thrust your hips against my grip, and so you were hurt. I don’t apologize; it was stupid of you to do so. In any case, your injuries will prevent you from chasing me, so you may wish to seek the temple and the Ryu, if you wish to find me again. Ask the lady who runs the brothel, she knows the way. If we meet again, I hope you will have learned to at least dodge, it is not very hard. And maybe you will learn how to treat a woman while you are recovering in a brothel; I would rather not be made love to by a grown man who behaves like a selfish teen.
Regards: Kimiko the Oomukade’”

Having finished the scathing letter, the nurse took a bow, put the scroll on the nightstand next to Ludwig’s bed and left the room.
For a moment it was quiet. Then Cecil broke the sweet silence.
“That Kimiko must have really high standards” he said, patting him on the shoulder to comfort him.
“Really?” Ludwig asked, the sarcasm in his voice completely lost on the boy.
“Yeah, you’re the greatest man I know! I bet you were just off your game today! But you’ll totally whoop her ass the next time you meet, and then you’ll make her your woman!” Cecil explained with much gusto.
Ludwig sighed. That letter had really sealed the deal. There would have to be a rematch between them. The question was, where and when? The temple didn’t sound like the right place for it. No way could he get there in time, not when he hadn’t recovered. Maybe there was a Tanuki somewhere who could sell them some healing potions? Meh, you couldn’t rely on that.
“You know sir, I could go ask that Ryu where you can find Miss Kimiko again for you” Cecil offered suddenly.
“Hm? What?”
“You know sir, like we were supposed to in the first place? Me, Essie and Dietrich, we’ll go to the temple and we’ll ask the Ryu where we can find Miss Kimiko, and then we’ll come back to you, and we’ll tell you where to find her, and by then you may even be recovered, and then you can go have your rematch with her win!”
Well naturally. That was kind of what the original plan had been. Well, the original plan had included getting Albert some of that venom but… that was irrelevant now. This was a matter of honour. Of professional pride. Or manly pride, dammit! Ludwig would not be bested like this and then be told he was a poor lover! Nobody had said that to him since… since… oh. Never. That’s right, this was the first time!
“Where are the girls and Dietrich now anyway?” he asked, to distract himself.
“They’re at the inn. I did drop by to let them know we’d be here but I don’t know what they’re up to now that I’ve been here with you”
“How did you find me to begin with?”
“Well, I thought to myself, ‘Sir Ludwig’s been at sea for months, where is he going to go first?’ and the answer was a brothel, because I know you don’t jerk off, so I came looking for you here!” Cecil explained, smiling innocently while talking of things that would have made priests and paladins red in the face and foam at the mouth. Lots of little things tended to do that. That aside, the boy had used his head well enough. Cecil was smarter than he let on, and people tended to underestimate him because of his energetic, air-headed behaviour, not realizing what hid under the surface. Come to think of it, hadn’t Ludwig’s own surprise at the boy’s thinking just now been proof of that? The boy was like a damn Wurm; all smiles and giggles and ‘oh, let’s play with puppies and eat sweets and swim naked’ and then they could punch through a castle wall and throw boulders the size of a house at you for saying something bad about their little sister’s artistic abilities. That had been a fun ride.
“That was good thinking” he complimented the boy, who practically beamed. “Why don’t you go tell them that we’re going to carry on with our original plan, then? Naomi can stay here and… make sure I’m not taken advantage of”
Cecil smiled, tapped the side of his nose and winked at him.
“Oh I know what you mean sir!” he said, though Ludwig couldn’t quite be sure that he did. In any case, the idea of sending Cecil out with just one of the Ghouls was a little risky, but it’s not like there were many creatures as powerful as the Oomukade out there, and he really could use Naomi’s help here. She could run around town and do the listening to gossip and helping out the small folk types of things he normally would’ve done and get a clearer idea on what was happening in the town. So far it didn’t seem like any of them had gotten into trouble for being foreigners, so chances are they wouldn’t in the future, either. The boy could take it. He could handle his first adventure on his own.
“Run along now” Ludwig suggested. He had to do some thinking.

			***

“Mmmh, n-no, not now…”
“But it’s been so long…”
“But she might hear us!”
“We’ll be quiet…”
“Oh fine…up-pup-pup!”

Tia tried to drown out their voices by covering her ears and humming to herself. She didn’t want Raoul and Judi to go without making love, they were a couple and sex was a part of that, but did they really need to do it when she was conscious?
That was a little unfair of her, since they quite obviously were trying to do it without bothering her, but it was bothering her because she was awake and that made it wrong!
Judi tried to stifle some giggles. They were having so much fun, and she hadn’t even seen Cecilé in months. Tia wondered how Raoul and Judi made love, anyway. It’s not like she had legs to spread, and he could kind of poke through any part of her… how would that even feel? Tia couldn’t even imagine taking it up the butt. Well, she could, butt… but, butt. Huh.
Somehow a finger ended up tracing her tight rear. Of course that felt nice, being caressed down there by Cecilé, and of course it was Cecilé touching her, because she was a maiden in love. The other hand caressed her cheek, and then slowly lowered down to her breasts, and then Cecilé was feeling the round shapes on both back and front, and Tia breathed through her mouth, squeezing her eyes shut as tightly as she could so she wouldn’t catch a glimpse of reality by mistake. It was so much sweeter to be by his side, to be touched by him, to surrender to him…
The finger traced her crack, and the Dragon hesitated.
“T-that’s the wrong hole…” she whispered. He didn’t reply. Of course he didn’t, he wasn’t the- he was in charge and didn’t need her consent, oh no, he was a great warrior and he’d conquered her, of course he had, everyone else had!
“M-mhh!” Tia inhaled sharply when her clawed finger- when Cecilé’s sizable, throbbing manhood intruded in her from the back, grasping her breast tightly and pinching her nipple.
“That’s right… I’ve got this coming to me…” she moaned, reciting for him the lines her heart had written. The fires died away rather quickly though.
“It’s no fun up the butt” she mumbled to herself with a sigh. That wasn’t really the problem though. She wanted to please herself, she was a woman and she knew how and she’d been doing it for years like everyone else, but… she just wasn’t feeling it. Without him, there was no point to any of it. She could schlick, get off, and then what? She’d just be lonely again. Maybe if she used her tail, it’d turn out differently, but her tail was way too tired from all the exercises she’d done today. Losing to a damn squid had pissed her off, and working her ass off was just about the only thing that could relieve her pent up shame. That didn’t do anything for her lust, though. And what use was trying to fantasize about Cecilé being all mean to her anyway? He’d never do that, no matter how pathetic excuse of a Dragon she was. A sweet boy like him would love her gently even if she was just a no-good Salamander or even just a regular Lizard. He was so special. She’d fallen for him the moment she’d laid eyes on him, bathing in that pond, the water glistening on his slender body, and when he’d looked up at her, she’d almost fallen down from the sky. Those blue eyes had been full of nothing but wonder and just plain nicety when he’d looked at her, and the way she’d been flying he’d gotten a good look at her body, even if there wasn’t much there for a boy to look at. She’d never kidnapped anyone by herself before, and everyone back at the lair had been amazed at her for doing it, but when they’d met him they’d understood.
“Gods and goddesses please give us fair winds so I can be with him sooner” she muttered while drifting to sleep after another day without having an orgasm. Before meeting Cecilé for the first time, she’d sometimes masturbated up to three times a day. If and when she managed to find him again, they’d have a lot of catching up to do together. That thought made her happy. Kind of. Mostly it made her horny.
“You pig! Ahahaha!” Judi giggled. Her mock chastisements were the last thing to enter Tia’s consciousness that night, and she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

			***

“They just left?” Ludwig asked, flabbergasted at the words Naomi had spoken.
“Yeah. Just left. Cecil was pretty excited about it” the Ghoul explained, sitting on a table with her legs crossed.
“They… just left?” Ludwig repeated, hoping the answer would be different this time. It wasn’t.
“Fuck” he cursed.
“You sure you’re up for it?” Naomi asked.
“What?”
“I mean aren’t you supposed to be recovering from too much of it?”
Ludwig groaned. That had been a stupid joke. Then he calmed down. So what if the boy rushed off without an opportunity for some last-minute advice? That’s how REAL adventures worked. Chosen Ones spent years getting drilled and told exactly how everything worked so they’d know how to keep to the narrative of the story that would be. There was no spontaneity to it. Real adventure was supposed to be about unexpected and unknown things, something new and dangerous. That’s what he’d sought most of his life, and he’d found plenty.
“I guess it can’t be helped” he said finally.
“So what do you want me to do?” the Ghoul asked.
“For now, you can keep me company. Tell me about your childhood” the bedridden knight suggested.
“Childhood? I’m Undead”
“Well you were a person first, weren’t you?”
“Undead don’t remember their past lives”
“Really?” he feigned ignorance on a subject he was, of course, quite familiar with. He was just killing time and distracting himself. Listening to a pretty girl talk was good enough for that.
“Yeah. First thing I remember was being brought to ‘life’ with Essie by my side. Apparently, we were twins in life, and we’d died of something at the same time, probably poisoned by our father so we wouldn’t fall in the hands of some marauders or something, but they brought our bodies to a sultan who paid for them and had his vizier bring us back so we could serve in his harem” Naomi told without reservation.
“Wait, I thought Albert was your ‘father’?  The one who raised you? He used to be a vizier?”
“Oh no, we just call him daddy because mommy wants us to, and we call Camilla our mother because she wants us to. They didn’t make us”
A thought occurred to Ludwig then, but he didn’t air it out. It was downright preposterous to think that de Vries would actually be… no. It was too foolish. Instead, he wanted to keep the conversation going.
“So how did you end up with them?”
“Essie and me didn’t really like it in the harem. Most of the girls were nice enough, but the sultan was fat and smelly and he was really bad in bed. So…” she trailed off, staring at a wall. Ludwig took in her features and tried to tell her apart from her sister. Naomi had long, brown hair, and so did Esmeralda. They both had greyish eyes. They both had the brown skin most Ghouls had on account of originating in the Desert Region. Even identical twins could be told apart though, if not from their facial features, then from their manners. Naomi and Esmeralda carried themselves quite differently; the former with stiffer shoulders and a suspicious gaze, the latter almost skipped everywhere and looked at the world like it was all just another delicious surprise waiting to be unwrapped. If they started off in identical bodies and with identical circumstances when they became Ghouls, how is it that they came to be so different? Did their former lives have some impact they themselves couldn’t recognize? Maybe Albert would know. He’d have to ask about that at some point.
“You know what? Forget me. Let’s talk about you!” Naomi said, turning back to look at him.
“Me?”
“You. You’re the big, mysterious knighty-man, right? You’re the interesting one. I’m just some slut who died once” the Ghoul changed topics with a gleam in her eyes that was, after all, quite similar to her sister’s.
“Whatever do you want to know about me?” Ludwig asked.
“Are you really okay? Dietrich was in pretty bad shape after he used that stuff, and you got bit in the bum”
Ah. So she was worried about him. How sweet.
“I’m fine, girl. Really. I’m not going to get addicted to something like this after just one bite. I’ve been stung by worse venoms, you know” he comforted the worried Undead girl.
“Really? Worse?”
“Yes. Worse as in, the effects of this and Manticore venom put together. And it was the first time I’d been injected with any kind of aphrodisiac venom, too” Ludwig said, making theatrical gestures to lighten the mood.
“Ooh, I know! It was a Girtablilu, right?”
“Well spotted, desert dweller. There’s quite a story behind that, you know” Ludwig baited her.
“Tell me!” Naomi bit, and sat down at the foot of his bed, right between his legs. What a silly position to be in.
“I don’t want to bore you…” he began to increase her frustration, which worked like a wonder.
“Don’t make me rape your face, mister knight!” she said with a giggle. She was into it now, sure enough.
“Oh well, it can’t be helped” Ludwig gave up with fake resignation. Huh. That was the second time he’d used the phrase “it can’t be helped”. He’d never done that before to his knowledge. Whatever.
“My story would stretch on too long, so I’ll just skip the boring bits at the start. It all began with the Apophis…”
“I thought this was a story about a Girtablilu?”
“It is, impatient one. Now listen to me or I’ll hit you with my pillow. It’s a very hard pillow”
“I’ll show you a hard pillow...”
“No more grumbling. Now where was I?”
“The Apophis?”
“Ah yes, the Apophis. Well…”

			***

The Apophis was referred to as “the Apophis” by those not in her presence. Whatever her actual name was, it was used only by her mother, father and possibly her lover, but it was unknown to all her minions and enemies. All those in her presence were required to address her as Queen, which they did with trembling hearts.
Sir Ludwig had arrived in the Desert Region on a pilgrimage, though he mostly used that as an excuse to travel and get free meals from churches. Once in the Desert, he wandered around until he somehow got involved with the eternal conflict in the land, one as old as… well, as old as recorded history, at least. The Dynasty of the Sun, ruled by the Pharaoh, Sun Queen and Living Embodiment of the Sun, also other things Sun-related, was the greatest empire in the Desert, and although the shifting sands and rivers changed the landscape and sometimes turned fertile river lands into inhospitable wastelands and vice versa, turning great cities into ruins and small villages into the capitols of new kingdoms, the Dynasty of the Sun never faded away, never disappeared. The balance of power changed with times, nomadic tribes rose up to conquer land, foreigners came to pit weaker nations against one another, but always there was the unbroken line of the Pharaoh, ruling from one of the palace temple thingamajigs. This theocratic monarchy always had its flipside, the Apophis. The Apophis were a species of Lamia, something like cobras, with potent aphrodisiac venom and a beautiful, purple skin, and by whatever twist of fate one of them was always plotting the downfall of Pharaoh, manipulating the nations around the Dynasty of the Sun and the Dynasty itself, and somehow the cycle repeated itself over and over again. None could say how it began – apart from the priests, but they all disagreed with one another about it and weren’t a dependable source in any case – and the death toll was always high when the cycle came to its conclusion, leading to short period of peace as a new Pharaoh and Apophis grew up and then began again.
All this Ludwig learned against his will, over long, boring conversations with the Anubis chancellor and Sphinx whatchamacallit. Being a foreigner of some skills, he was shanghaied into the Pharaoh’s service. Her son, the prince, had been kidnapped, and now the mighty foreign hero was given the task of rescuing him, under the pain of death. For additional motivation, a charm was placed on him, which would kill him if he left the Desert Region.
Sir Ludwig infiltrated the secret society of Apophis, and discovered the location of the prince. He was being held quite close to the snake herself, with a golden collar around his neck, a golden chain being held by her grape-coloured hands. His skin glistened with oil, his hair was fluffy, his crotch covered with a gilded cloth, and his face had a dumb, happy smile on it as he rested against the snake’s scaly belly. He did not look like a man in need of rescuing. He probably wasn’t. Of course they told the knight afterwards that the prince had been brainwashed and made into a venom addict by the nefarious serpent, but that rang hollow. No, all evidence pointed to the prince having eloped with the grapesnake rather than having been kidnapped, but that didn’t mean much by the time Ludwig realized it. He’d probably have taken their side if the Apophis hadn’t had some tricks in store for him instead of explanations.
As it turned out, Ludwig hadn’t been the master of disguise he’d thought he was, and his infiltration into the secret society had not succeeded because of his own subterfuge and guile, but because the Apophis had allowed it to learn his intentions and to lure him into a trap. This trap was called “the Proving”, in which he was meant to prove his loyalty to the association by engaging another potential recruit in mortal combat and surviving as the winner. Ludwig went into the fighting pit, armed with only the ceremonial club and loin cloth.
There was no other recruit. There was no such thing as “the Proving” to begin with. He hadn’t known that until the gates to the fighting pit closed and the cheering spectators began to toss fruit at him. The Apophis and her consort prince observed the arena from a balcony, and she told everyone the Pharaoh’s fluffless dog had been brought here to be broken for their amusement.
Ludwig had never fought in gladiatorial combat before, and didn’t know what to expect. The jeering of the spectators, the blazing Sun – because it had been midday, and the Sun shone directly down into the fighting pit, while the audience was in the shade, a curious bit of design, probably thought up by some Anubis or other – scorching the sand mercilessly, making him sweat and squint his eyes, and his opponent nowhere in sight. There were guards, with spears and shields, but they stood on the parapets, high above the arena. They weren’t there to fight him. There were archers up there as well, but none of them took aim at him or even pulled out their arrows. Ludwig got confused and angry. Did they intend to laugh him to death?
It was then, when he’d lost his temper and put all his focus into yelling at the crowd mocking him, that he was attacked.

A Girtablilu avoids the heat of the desert’s days by whatever means necessary, even burrowing in sand if need be. This one had been doing just that, and when Ludwig was distracted, she slowly burrowed through the sand, approaching him. When his attention was fully elsewhere, she attacked with her stinger while reaching to grab his ankles with her pincers and at his arms with her hands. The plan of attack would have been quite effective on an ordinary man, but Ludwig was a seasoned adventuring hero even then and almost in the prime of his life. This saved him, and allowed him to jump away from her pincers and arms, while swatting aside her stinger with his club. He’d never actually seen a scorpion-woman in the flesh before, but he’d heard plenty about them. They came in many sizes and colours, which told of how dangerous they were. Big ones with brown chitin shells weren’t very venomous at all and were docile enough, some desert tribes rode around on their backs. While impressive in size and quite heavily armoured, these larger types were not feared or spoken of in whispers. On the other end of the scale were the small ones with black chitin, armed with exceptionally powerful venom and reflexes rumoured to be far superior to those of humans. The one attacking him now was black as sin, with a deliciously tanned, smooth skin, long pale hair, eyes of the deepest green, and she was of a frame more appropriate on a girl of fourteen. The small black scorpion was smiling at him. There was cheering from the crowd, and then Ludwig felt a twinge of fear, which was the ultimate spice for exhilaration. Here was now a worthy foe! Who cares what comes after? Leaving the pit and ‘rescuing’ the prince could wait for another life-time as far as he cared. He widened his stance and gestured for the Girtablilu to come get him. She kept smiling at him and lifted her human body up to its full height, which was around the level of Ludwig’s solar plexus. She straightened her scorpion legs and lifted herself even higher to be on eye-level with him. She crossed her arms and waved her tail, snapping her pincers. She was goading him into attacking, and the young and brash Ludwig saw no reason not to indulge her. She’d attacked him from an ambush position before, and he’d managed, so what could she possibly do to him now that she was out in the open and he had the initiative? Ludwig charged.
As it turned out, the rumours about a little black Girtablilu’s reflexes and speed were not hyperbole or exaggeration. Ludwig’s initial success had been allowed by her as some kind of sadistic game. Now she nimbly dodged his attack and with a swing of her tail she slapped the club off his hands. Ludwig grunted from the pain and rolled on the sand to dodge the next blow, which had the stinger directed at him, and then kept rolling pathetically to keep escaping the playful stings that he only barely got away from, ending up further and further away from his only weapon. No, that was wrong. He’d been disarmed plenty of times before, especially by Bara Khan, but he’d never been dis-ARMED. His limbs were weapons. Maybe he wasn’t good enough to beat the more dangerous Monsters with them, but for a girl as frail-looking as this one, well, it couldn’t be all that hard to take her down if he got past her speed. Most of the iconic moments in Man versus Monster battles were between the smaller, weaker hero and the bigger, stronger Monster. The hero didn’t always win. This time the roles were reversed, so was there really any reason for the scorpion to win? No, of course not!
Ludwig made a leg-sweep at the many legs of the scorpion girl, expecting that he’d either knock half of them down and make her topple, or if she was too quick, at least make her jump back so he could get back up from the ground and take a better defensive position.
It didn’t work. His leg stopped mid-sweet when it hit the first of her chitin legs and for a brief moment he felt like time had stopped entirely. He wasn’t moving. She wasn’t moving. The crowd’s noise was a distant hum in his ears. The sweat glistening all over his bare body was now joined by a cold sweat as he realized that the Girtablilu was so strong, he couldn’t actually sweep her legs. He looked up to her face and saw her still smiling. She nodded to him, recognizing his valiant effort, as if saying that it was okay to stop struggling now, that he’d been prolonging the inevitable long enough. A pincer locked around his ankle and jerked him closer, and then the stinger plunged into his thigh, and after a sharp impact that made him grunt, there was no more pain. Her tail twitched as the venom rushed in him, and when she pulled her stinger back, there was no wound, just a purple bruise that would be gone in an hour or two. Those hours Ludwig would spend on the sands of the fighting pit with the Girtablilu, and that ride he would never forget.


			***

Sir Ludwig was forced to interrupt his story when there was a knock on the frame of the paper door to the room, and Naomi quickly jumped out of his bed with the grace of a cat, landing silently. He smiled at that. She’d learned well during their training. She’d left a moist spot on the sheets though.
“The commander of the city watch is here to see you, Ludwig-san” the nurse said, sliding the door open and allowing a most curious sight to enter. It was a young-looking girl of very little height, floating in the air with her robes fluttering, her bare feet on fire and a light glowing from beneath her robes around her belly. She was the most confusing sight Ludwig and Naomi had laid eyes on since coming to Zipangu.
“Commander of the city watch?” Naomi asked, tilting her head.
“That’s me” said the floating apparition.
“You some kind of Ignis?” the Ghoul asked, filled with suspicion.
“No, I’m a lamp” she replied, shutting the door behind her and floating to Ludwig’s bedside.
“And you two have entered the country illegally. That’s bad, it carries the death penalty you know” she said, her voice carrying all the weight of a little girl accusing one of her tea-party guest dolls of poisoning the count.
“But I’m sure we can avoid any executions if you just cooperate with me a little” she added.
Naomi glared daggers the newcomer.
“And what makes you think we won’t just walk out of here after setting the town on fire and slaughtering all your watchmen?” she hissed.
“I don’t have any”
“What?”
“Watchmen. I don’t have any” the commander of the city watch confessed.
“Uuuh-huuuuh…” Naomi seemed bamboozled.
“So I take it you need our help with something?” Ludwig asked.
“Yes, I need your help with a lot. But you’re in no condition to help me. The lady on the other hand seems fine. Will you cooperate, or will it be beheadings for your lot?”
“Didn’t you just say you don’t have any watchmen?” Naomi asked.
“I did. And it’s true”
“And you’re saying you’ll execute us all by yourself?”
“Yes”
“How’d you think you’ll accomplish that, then?”
“Justice is on my side. The wicked will perish”
Naomi’s jaw hung down and drool dripped on the ground as she stared at the little lamp girl who had made such a bold statement.
“Naomi” Ludwig said.
“Yeah?” the Ghoul asked, still not taking her eyes off the potentially threatening little lamp girl.
“Let’s cooperate with her”
“WHAT?”
The lamp smiled with a vacant look in her eyes as the Ghoul growled with disapproval.
“When I say ‘let’s cooperate’, I of course mean you. I’m bedridden, see?” Ludwig added to twist the knife. Naomi growled more.
“I believe I interrupted something between you” the commander of the city watch said with an apology.
“How can you tell?” Ludwig asked, putting his hands behind his head.
“The lady seems rather irritated, and which could be for any number of reasons, of course. She seems wary of me, which again could be for any number of reasons. I can smell her lady-parts though, and I see there is some discharge from her on your sheets. I should think it safe to assume I interrupted you and that the lady is upset at me for stopping her from reaching her climax” she explained. “I do apologize” she added.
That was impressive, Ludwig thought with a grin, while Naomi fumed. This commander of the watch seemed to be on the level, at least.
“I don’t believe you gave us your name?” Ludwig asked.
“Ah, how rude of me. Commander Yukinoshita, how do you do” she said with a neat little bow.
“Well commander Yukinoshita, I’m Sir Ludwig and this is Naomi. What can we do for you?” the knight asked, feeling like he was going to enjoy his stay here.
"And by ‘we’, I mean just Naomi" he hastened to add.