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Lilly Route: Conflict: 1-9: Alone At Last

Jul 4th, 2013
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  1. "Lilly?"
  2. Nothing.
  3. "Lilly?"
  4. "Hisao?"
  5. "What's wrong?"
  6. "It... it's nothing, I'm all right."
  7. "You keep stopping."
  8. "...I'm sorry."
  9. "You're a million miles away."
  10. "I'm sorry. I'm... I'll be more attentive. Please, keep going."
  11. "No. I lost you. I'll stop."
  12. She sighs in resigned acceptance.
  13.  
  14. I lay down next to Lilly, her skin warm next to mine. She scoots closer and presses her cheek against me as we lay in bed together. "Lilly, what's wrong?"
  15.  
  16. She runs her fingers down my chest, grazing my scar. "It's nothing. I'm all right."
  17. "Lilly," I say reproachfully, "I made the mistake of believing that once before. What's really bothering you? Is it your father's visit?"
  18. She shudders slightly and scoots even closer to me, her body smooth and soft. "No. No, not really."
  19.  
  20. Lilly is always so involved and absorbed when she and I are together, her distraction is really worrying and troubling.
  21.  
  22. She reaches up and touches my face, her fingers gliding down my cheek and to my chin. She moves up and kisses me, a tiny, but long kiss just on the tips of my lips. "I keep thinking about you, but I can't even focus when we're together. I miss you and now that I have you, all I can think about is that we'll be separated again. I miss waking up next to you in the morning. I miss our chats and tea. I miss you so much it ruins the time we have together."
  23.  
  24. I know she's telling me the truth, but I'm sure there's something more bothering her, gnawing at her. She's been more worried and concerned than normal, about being away, about her father, about Hanako leaving for her trip. She's the one who brought me to my dorm and now she can't focus on the two of us. I'm a little disappointed by that, but I'm more concerned about her being so distracted. Maybe it's just been my ignorance in the past, but I seem to look for double meanings in whatever Lilly says now, trying to find out if what she's saying is true or if there's something else that's on her mind she's unwilling to share. "Is that all? Is that what's really bothering you?"
  25.  
  26. She lays next to me, very still.
  27.  
  28. "Lilly, please. If there's a problem, tell me. I can help, I can try and fix it. Please don't keep me in the dark anymore."
  29.  
  30. She sighs and nestles next to me in bed. "Okay. All right. I'm... I'm worried."
  31. "I can tell. What about?"
  32. It takes her a long time to answer. "I'm worried about you."
  33. I'm surprised by her answer. What could she possibly be worried about? "Me? Why are you concerned about me?"
  34.  
  35. She seems to shrink a little in my arms. "I'm away from you so much. What if... what if something happens? What if you had an accident while I was away? What if it had something to do with your heart?" She gives a troubled little whimper. "What if I couldn't do anything? I want you to take care of yourself, but every time I think about it, I just imagine the worst happening."
  36.  
  37. I hold her close, comforting. "Lilly, I'm all right."
  38. "You said you had an accident today. You were hurt."
  39. "I only tripped."
  40. "That doesn't matter to me. What if it had been something more? I want you to take care of yourself, that's why I've been calling you to make sure you take your medication, but every time you mention exercise, I get so... can't you do something else? Something that won't be so dangerous?"
  41.  
  42. I smile and run my fingers through her hair. "Lilly, going outside is dangerous. I could get hit by a bus."
  43. She gently slaps me on the chest. "Don't say something like that!"
  44. "Lilly, I'm fine. I know you're concerned for me, but I don't want you to worry yourself so much. I'm fine, I can take care of myself." I put my arms around her and hold her tightly and she buries her head into my neck.
  45.  
  46. "I'm sorry," she says. "This isn't fair. I'm just so upset and it's getting in the way of us. We haven't been together in such a long time. Not since before... the airport. And the hospital."
  47.  
  48. I smile, remembering the last time Lilly and I were together. The blindfold was... very educational for me and our abandoned attempts for some intimacy after my surgery had unexpectedly been interrupted by a visit from my parents.
  49.  
  50. "I'm sorry for letting you down," she says bashfully.
  51. "I don't care about that," I tell her gently. "It's all right. I just missed you, that's all. I don't care what we do when we're together so long as it's with each other."
  52. "I think about you every night," she says, trying to reassure me.
  53. I hesitate, feeling the smile crawl across my face. "Every night?"
  54. Lilly blushes.
  55.  
  56. I don't blame her, I do plenty of thinking about her myself.
  57.  
  58. She couldn't possibly be any closer to me than she already is, but she tries, wrapping herself around me, touching me with every part of her. I just hold her and we lay in bed together, the sounds of our breathing mixing together.
  59.  
  60. We stay like that for a very long time, the sun coming through my window, the painted splashes of light on my floor moving across the room towards evening, growing darker.
  61.  
  62. I sit up in bed and hug Lilly to my side. "Come on," I whisper, "we need to unwind."
  63.  
  64. We get dressed again and ready to head out. I find the bottle of my pills in my pants pocket and decide now is as good a time as any to take them. Lacking a glass of water or anything to drink, I take them without.
  65.  
  66. "Hisao?"
  67. I choke a little, swallowing the last pill. "Yes?"
  68. "Are you all right?"
  69. "Yeah, just taking my pills."
  70. Lilly smiles, wrapping her hair in the strand of black ribbon she wears. "You've been very good about that."
  71.  
  72. I start tying my shoes. "Well, I've been pretty focused on it since I got out of the hospital. Not much else to do. Your morning calls have helped. Thank you for those."
  73. "I'm glad," she says. "As I said, I've been very worried about you. I miss you."
  74. I smile when I stand back up. "How did Shizune put it? 'All wistful and tragic, like a doting wife'?"
  75.  
  76. Lilly blushes very deeply. "She said widow, and... maybe I was a little."
  77. "Don't be embarrassed. I'm actually flattered."
  78. She smiles. "Did you miss me?"
  79. "Intensely," I say, trying to cheer her up.
  80.  
  81. She looks like she appreciates my answer.
  82.  
  83. We get dressed and ready to go. From the nightstand Lilly reaches out to find her necklace, but her hand brushes the box of Scotch that Kenji gave me. "Hisao, what is this?"
  84.  
  85. I chuckle and pick it up, taking the bottle out and handing it to her. She seems quite surprised and explores it with her fingertips. "A bottle? What is it?"
  86. "You'll never guess. That is a get well gift from my hall mate."
  87. Lilly is shocked. "Setou? Surely not!"
  88. "Yes! I was as surprised as you are. He and I are planning on hanging out."
  89.  
  90. Lilly looks doubtful. "You've always said how troublesome he was."
  91. "I know. Truth is, it wasn't my first choice, but I guess it can't hurt. I need to have something to do here and since we're both stuck, I might as well make the best of it."
  92.  
  93. Lilly smiles, setting the bottle back on the table. "Well, good for you, making friends. What did he get you exactly?"
  94. I smirk a little. "It's Scotch. He said I would like it since you're my girlfriend."
  95. Lilly giggles; it's a wonderful sound. "That's silly."
  96. I lean in front of her and tap her cheek gently before I kiss her. "I think it's true, though."
  97. She smiles. "Be careful, Hisao. It's a lot stronger than wine. My Father drinks Scotch."
  98. "Hey, we have something in common now! I knew he didn't hate me."
  99.  
  100. Lilly's mouth drops open in a gasp. "He doesn't hate you! He has no reason too!"
  101. "Keeping you in Japan isn't reason enough?"
  102. "He may be disappointed, but that isn't reason enough to hate you."
  103. "Maybe, but he didn't seem to like me very much."
  104.  
  105. Lilly smiles wistfully. "My Father... he's a strange man, Hisao. He's very set in his ways and he's very protective of me. It's only expected that he would be upset with my choice to stay. He was very excited when I accepted his and my mother's summons. He may seem distant and cold at first, but he's actually a very warm person once you get to know him."
  106.  
  107. I smile at Lilly sitting on the edge of my bed. "Do you think so?"
  108. She nods, hands folded in her lap. "I know so. He's very intense, but he has to be for his job. The truth is he's extremely thoughtful at times."
  109. Lilly reaches out and finds her necklace on my nightstand. I help her put it on, savoring the feeling of her shoulders under my fingertips. She smiles at the touch and runs the silver chain and cross around her neck through her fingertips. "He actually gave this to me when I was very young for First Communion. It belonged to my Grandmother on my mother's side. It's been in my family for years. It's very important to me."
  110.  
  111. Lilly and I leave my room, her holding onto my arm.
  112. I missed this, I realize as we head out of the boy's dorms. I missed just talking to Lilly and spending time together. I missed having her at my side, talking about each other, learning about her. "What is your family like, Lilly?"
  113. She seems to think about it for a long time. "It's a little hard to describe. I know I haven't been with them much over the years, but we were always close before that, which made the separation all the more difficult." She sighs. "Still, Father was always away on business and Mother was busy with her own social circle. When we had the chance to be together, though, we cherished the time." Her smile turns wan. "It wasn't a normal family life, but it was a happy one."
  114.  
  115. The two of us walk through the quad, the afternoon beginning to bleed away. The wind has taken an evening chill as the sun begins to show the first few signs of dipping beneath the horizon.
  116. Lilly and I enter the main school building, empty and hollow, our footsteps echoing too far.
  117. Lilly tips her head. "Are we heading to the tea room., Hisao?"
  118. "Yes. I thought we could use some."
  119. She smiles and laughs, a hand over her mouth. "We could have prepared some in your room if you wanted."
  120. I tug her close. "I know. I think we'd both appreciate some familiarity right now, though."
  121.  
  122. Lilly and I make it to the spare classroom. With most of the school empty, there are only a few students and faculty left to roam the halls and even they seem to have abandoned the place at this hour. Still, it seems that Yamaku isn't very attentive when it comes to locking doors and patrolling hallways. Sometimes I wonder about the staff supervision at the school, but most of the time I'm just grateful they aren't as strict as they could be. Many of the rules and regulations seem to be more relaxed than at my old school, with the exception of the additional guidelines pertaining to students with disabilities.
  123.  
  124. I'm just glad I have access to what parts of the school I'd like during my time over the summer. If Emi didn't insist on me running, I had considered trying the pool out for exercise. I killed that idea quickly; I'd rather trip on a track and skin my knee than end up in a pool, drowning while having a heart attack. The pool hours were also inconvenient for my uses.
  125.  
  126. The only exclusion to my free run of the school is the library which is closed for the season. It requires a teacher to unlock the doors and check out books and most of them don't want to be bothered. That was a dampener on my mood, contributing to my boredom. It may also be a good thing; falling into the bad habit of reading when I'm bored wouldn't be good for my health. Spending time buried in a fairy tale with my head in the clouds, distracted, is partly what got me in trouble in the first place with Lilly.
  127.  
  128. She and I prepare the tea in the old room, all the supplies and settings in their proper place. It's nice to know that even with everything going on, some things won't change and can be relied upon.
  129.  
  130. We sit across from each other at the table, the tea steaming in front of us for a time. I look up from the tiny cup to the girl in front of me, sitting in the same place she was when we first met, the sun glinting off her hair the same way it did back then.
  131.  
  132. Who could have imagined I'd be with that girl now? What random chance brought me to this place? The first time I saw Lilly, I was struck with her, her appearance and aura. I don't think it was love at first sight, I had so much riding on my back that first week of school, I think romance was the furthest thing from my mind.
  133.  
  134. Still, she left quite the impression on me. Everything that's built up between us; the festival, Hanako's birthday, Hokkaido, our dinner date, Scotland, the airport and hospital have been one hectic event after another. Our relationship has been defined by long periods of peace and calm, interrupted by trauma and disaster.
  135. I look up at Lilly, her lips pursed as she blows over her cup of tea unknowingly. "Feeling a little better?"
  136.  
  137. She smiles after taking a small sip from the cup. "Yes, thank you. This is just what I needed." She sets it down and grimaces. "I'm sorry about what happened earlier."
  138. "Lilly, it's fine. I don't mind at all."
  139. She still looks ashamed. "I just... want everything to be perfect. I want to make sure what time we have over the summer is the best I can make it."
  140.  
  141. I reach over and take her free hand into mine. "You're here, we're together, that's all I care about."
  142. She squeezes my hand warmly, returning the gesture of affection. I etch the look of her smile in my memory so I never forget it or miss the chance to make her smile like that again. "How have things been going over at Shizune's?" I ask, trying to take her mind of our current situation.
  143.  
  144. Lilly giggles lightly. "Better than I would have expected. I think Shizune and I have agreed to not interact in any way that could result in an argument. It's not a rivalry anymore, more like a cease fire. I do have high hopes for when school starts."
  145. "Any plan on joining the Student Council again?" I tease.
  146. Lilly gasps. "Oh, heavens no! That would be terrible! I admit, Shizune and I have been behaving ourselves, but actually working together again? No, no, absolutely not! Living in proximity is difficult as it is, but having to work as a team once more? I don't think this shaky truce of ours would survive it." She smirks and drinks her tea. "I'll admit, though. It has been very nice just being civil to one another. We may not be friends again, but we're at least tolerant of one another."
  147. "I'm glad, Lilly. It's nice to hear that the two of you have been trying to patch things up."
  148. "It is, isn't it?" She takes another sip, setting the cup on the saucer, guided by her fingers. "What have you been doing this summer?"
  149. I chuckle. "Pills, pills and more pills.
  150.  
  151. Lilly's smile lessens. "Surely you've done something else?"
  152. "Not really. I've started looking at universities to go to, keeping up with my studies, that sort of thing. Other than not going to class, it feels like the school term never ended for me."
  153. A look of sadness passes her face. "I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do."
  154. "It's all right. I have these little visits of ours to look forward to. That's enough for me until school starts. Then we'll be together and we can start over again."
  155.  
  156. She nods in agreement, an expectant look on her face. I can tell, sad as it is, we're both eager for break to be over and to get back to Yamaku, where we'll be with each other every day, our normal life together.
  157.  
  158. "Tell me more about your family," I ask her.
  159. Lilly giggles. "Curious, are we?"
  160. I smile a little lopsided. "Just want to be prepared. I already messed up my first impression with your father. Kissing his daughter in the hallway wasn't the best way to start things off."
  161.  
  162. Lilly blushes and looks embarrassed. "Yes, well, he shouldn't have any expectation of propriety, really. We were technically well within our rights and he was the one who was unannounced."
  163. "Does he do that sort of thing often?"
  164. "Yes, and he always has. He has a very forceful personality. He insists on things being done his way. He's very well respected and has a great deal responsibility in the company he and my sister work at, so he is accustomed to being obeyed. Please understand, though, I love him very dearly."
  165. "You seemed upset when he first arrived, though."
  166.  
  167. Lilly hesitates, her words thought out carefully. "Wouldn't you be? The last I heard he was halfway across the world. To arrive here unannounced and so suddenly? Of course I was startled." She shakes her head. "I'm not upset, though. I'm glad he's here. It will give you the chance to meet him and set his mind at ease that I'll be all right staying in Japan. In the long run, things will be easier this way. It's best to get this over with sooner rather than later."
  168.  
  169. I sip my tea to occupy myself. Lilly sounds like she's forcing the words or saying them out of practice. I'm sure she loves her father very much, but I can tell there's an amount of discomfort for her regarding him being here, possibly because of their long separation. I know she was uncomfortable being with them in Scotland, I can only imagine that discomfort is even greater with him invading what used to be her own private world.
  170.  
  171. From our talks together, it seems that absence only made Akira more bitter towards her parents while it seems Lilly still wants to think the best of them no matter what they've done, even so far as not blaming them for leaving her behind. I don't blame her for wanting to stay close to them, but I'm amazed she can put aside their treatment of her so easily. I don't think I could forgive my parents for doing something like that to me.
  172.  
  173. Then again, I was rather bitter towards them for sending me to Yamaku in the first place and now look where I am? I owe so much to this place, in the long run, it worked out for the best. Maybe that's what Lilly's father and mother thought, that Yamaku and staying in a familiar setting would be best for Lilly. "So what is he like?"
  174.  
  175. Lilly tilts her head, searching her memories. "Well, as I said, he is very forceful, but he has a sentimental part of him he doesn't show many people. Despite what you've seen of him, he has a soft side, I assure you."
  176. "Really? How so?"
  177.  
  178. Lilly smiles. "Well, I could tell you about one of my earliest memories. I remember one day father took me to his job because mother had something to do and the nanny wasn't able to make it while Akira was at school. I had my dolls in his office and I was playing, having a tea party with them while he did his work. After about an hour, he called his secretary and told her that he wouldn't be taking any appointments that day and that he wasn't to be disturbed. Do you know what he did next?"
  179. "No, what?"
  180. Lilly smiles warmly, picking up her teacup. "He joined me. This large, dour, serious senior partner at an international firm sat on the floor of his office across from his six year old daughter and he had a tea party! He spent so much time at work, I was very excited to have him pay so much attention to me!"
  181.  
  182. I smirk a little, imagining a man like Mr. Satou sitting in front of a tiny table, holding a little teacup in his huge hands. It's a pretty funny image. I imagine he wore a pink hat for Lilly and even held out his pinkie finger. The idea makes me laugh.
  183.  
  184. "I knew you would think it was funny," Lilly says. "What wasn't funny was what happened next."
  185. "Why?"
  186. Lilly taps her fingers together a little nervously. "Well, someone didn't get my father's message and knocked on the door to speak with him. Father was furious! He started yelling at the poor man, it was awful! Threatening to fire him for interrupting his time with his daughter. It's the first time I ever heard a man cry."
  187. "He... made the man cry?"
  188. "I think so. He threw him out of his office."
  189. I blink. "You must have been frightened."
  190.  
  191. Lilly tips her head again, thinking hard. "I don't think I was. You must understand, Hisao, my father may be a harsh person, but I've never been frightened by him. Yes, startled, perhaps; when I was young, sometimes his yelling would upset me, but loud noises always did. He tried to keep his voice down when I was around, curb his outbursts. He's naturally very pronounced and forceful and I've always been very sensitive and it upset me, so he curtailed his habits for my sake. Even so, I've never once been afraid of him or in fear of him." She shakes her head. "How could I? He's my father."
  192.  
  193. I sip, finishing my cup before pouring myself another from the steaming pot. "So what happened?"
  194. "What do you mean?"
  195. "After he threw the man out, what did he do?"
  196. Lilly smiles. "What do you think? He rejoined me and we finished our tea party as if nothing had happened. I told you, Hisao; my father is a warm person when he wants to be. He's quick to anger, but just as suddenly he controls himself. I've often spoken to him about his temper, but he tries his best to keep his passions under restraint." Lilly reaches out to find my hand and she bumps my fingers, holding my grasp firmly. "It'll be all right. Don't worry, underneath it all, he is a very reasonable man. I know the two of you will get along well."
  197.  
  198. I nod to her and squeeze back. Maybe I was overreacting saying that Mr. Satou hated me. How can I blame him for being upset or taking a dislike towards me? I'm the reason his daughter is staying. I know Akira dislikes her parents, but if Lilly doesn't hold their absence against them, maybe I've only been getting once side of the story. Maybe Mr. Satou's bark is worse than his bite. I'm sure he and I can come to some mutual understanding and maybe we'll actually get to know each other like Lilly hopes.
  199.  
  200. I won't lie and say I wasn't surprised. He may have been a little too bossy for me, but he's an impressive man; rich, strong, confident and successful. Clearly intelligent; he even knows sign language, which I find mind boggling. I'm sure with Lilly there, I'll get to see the side of him that she's talking about. Maybe he'll even warm up to me. When it all comes down to it, I want to get along with him, if only for Lilly's sake. I want him to know that Lilly will be all right here and that we'll be there for each other.
  201.  
  202. "Maybe you're right, Lilly," I finally say. "Maybe he'll cheer up after some time. I mean, he has a reason to dislike me. I guess I'll just have to wait for him to get used to my presence, give him a reason for us to be friendly."
  203.  
  204. Lilly smiles broadly, her face lighting up. "Thank you, Hisao. I'm sure the two of you will get along well. Just give it time and I'm sure you'll become good friends. It's very important to me that you get along well together."
  205. We hold hands and I smile at her.
  206. I think it'll be nice to get the chance to know her family.
  207.  
  208. ----------------------------------------
  209.  
  210. 1-10: http://pastebin.com/BMLuHrn2
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