Anonymous: Batman Hunter!

Note: this story was meant as a tongue in cheek response to an anonymous troll who was complaining that my main story, Anon: Vampony Hunter, was all about Anon hunting Batman.
Enjoy.

>Night the Dark Knight in Equestria

>You are Batman. You are the night!
>And right now you are reading Guy Gardner the riot act for his actions during the last JLA mission you had been on together.
>He is a good Green Lantern but his temper is his biggest weakness.
>This time he had let the villain trick him into making a rookie mistake by insulting his bowl haircut.
>How any guardian of justice could be worried about his hair is beyond you.
>Although, frankly, it is a pretty stupid looking hair style.
>As you lay into the Lantern you can tell he’s getting frustrated.
>Then he pulls something unexpected on you.
>“You know what your problem is Bats? You don’t know how to chill out. Howsabout I give you a little vacation?”
>Before even your finely honed reflexes can react, you find yourself wrapped up in an emerald green capsule.
>As the details resolve themselves you see, to your slight concern, that the capsule has assumed the details of a cartoon rocket.
“Gardner, knock it off!”
>“No way Bats. I’m gonna send you somewhere that doesn’t have any crime. You’re gonna have to chill out and relax for a few days. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”
>Grinning like a madman Guy creates a cartoon launch button with his ring.
>“Buh-Bye.” He pushes the button.
>The roar is deafening and the acceleration is worse.
>You stay conscious for a minute, but then the g’s make you black out.
>Your dreams are strange; full of bright rainbow hued skies and friendly pastel landscapes.
>When you regain consciousness you are lying in a field underneath the stars.
>You can immediately tell that the stars are not those of Earth or any other planet you’ve visited before.
>In the distance you see what looks like a city.
>Engaging your night-vision you scope it out.
>Surprisingly, the buildings look like those on Earth; almost like the skyline of Manhattan.
>You decide you can’t stay here in the open.
>Where there is civilization there is food, water, and shelter.
>You set of, wondering how long Gardner intends on stranding you here…
…
>“Oh, Anon! It’s terrible!”
“What’s terrible, Princess?
>You are Anonymous: Vampire Hunter!
>And Her Highness Princess Twilight Sparkle has just rushed into your place of business.
>“We’ve got reports of a strange creature terrorizing Manehattan. Pretty much the whole royal guard has been called in but they haven’t been able to catch it!”
“OK. What does that have to do with me?”
>“I think it might be a vampire!”
>Your brain shuts down for a second. Did she just say…?
In a very calm voice you ask, “And what, pray tell, makes you think it is a vampire?”
>She goes on to explain that the creature is tall and humanoid.
>It has pointy ears like a bat, never comes out during the day, and can apparently sprout wings.
>By this point you are literally quivering with excitement.
>You wouldn’t wish the undead on your new friends, but if you act quickly then hopefully you can take the blood sucker out.
>And maybe, just maybe, you can find a way back to Earth.
“Highness? Get me to Manehatten.”
…
>As the Batman, you’ve been in some pretty bizarre situations.
>Of all of them, this one may just take the cake.
>At first, you were able to maintain a low profile and found an abandoned attic to hole up in.
>When you got hungry you snuck into a bakery and stocked up on supplies.
>You always carry gold on your person in case you need a universal currency and so you had left some in exchange for the food.
>Fortunately, the inhabitants of this planet have a diet similar to your own.
>Or, rather, they probably have a diet similar to horses back home.
>Because they are all a bunch of sapient, pastel colored ponies.
>Things had gone fine until the third night.
>You were moving among the roof tops when you heard a voice call out to you.
>“Hey, you! Who goes… Whah!”
>A flying horse in armor, a pegasus you suppose, had spotted you from the air.
>It didn’t take you any time at all to lose him, but the damage had been done.
>Now you are on the run.
>These seemingly docile ponies have put a cordon up around the city that would put Gotham’s finest to shame.
>Plus the fact that they seem to be able to use some kind of sorcery as well as fly.
>If it hadn’t been for your experience evading the likes of Superman and Zatana, you’re certain you would have been captured by now.
>You are moving through an alleyway, about to descend into the sewers when you hear a footstep behind you.
>“Turn around, slowly.” That voice sounds too low for a pony.
>You put your hands up and turn.
>You’ll decide what to do after you see who your mystery man is.
>Out of the shadows steps another human.
>He has a crossbow aimed at your heart.
>His hat and coat are familiar to you.
>The Brotherhood of Vampire Hunters.
>You know you can dodge his quarrel, and you have a smoke pellet ready to go.
>Before you can act though, the hunter lowers his weapon.
>“B-Batman!?”
>Looks like fighting won’t be necessary after all.
…
>What a crazy night.
>First you track your mystery vampire all over Manehatten.
>Then it turns out that it's not a nosferatu.
>It’s THE Batman!
>Only years of training and discipline had prevented you from geeking out right there and then.
>It had all been a whirlwind after that.
>You had clued the guard into who exactly their mystery creature was.
>Since the Princesses personally vouched for you they had reluctantly remanded Batman to your custody.
>Now, this morning finds you and your childhood hero sitting in front of a little café enjoying breakfast and swapping knowledge.
“Yah, if it hadn’t been for that ‘human tracker’ the Princess cobbled together I doubt I could of found you.” you say between bites.
>Batman looks around, “The sorcery here is on a level I’ve never seen before.”
“Tell me about it! Anyway, I gotta ask…”
>A voice from the sky interrupts you.
>“Well Bats, you chilled out and ready to come home?”
>“I was ready four days ago, Gardner.”
>“I’m sure you were. Alright, one to beam up!”
>“Wait!” Batman looks in your direction. “There another human here. A civilian. He needs transport as well.”
>“No can do. The Guardians already told us about him. Hunter boy stays put for now.”
>You stomach sinks as an emerald glow surrounds the Dark Knight.
>“Anon! I’ll do everything I can to help you get home, just don’t give u…”
>ZZAPP!
>He's gone.
>You pause for a moment, then slump in your chair.
>Oh, well.
>At least you got to meet Batman.
…
>ZZAPP!
>You find yourself standing in front of Guy Gardner in one of the Justice Hall’s ops rooms.
>He has an insufferable grin on his face.
>“Enjoy yourself?”
>You stop for a moment just looking him in the eye.
>You mouth curls up in a slight smile.
“Actually, Gardner, I did enjoy myself. It was an interesting experience. I think I get what you were trying to show me.”
>You extend your hand towards the Green Lantern.
>He’s a little confused by your sign of respect, but after a moment takes it in a firm handshake.
>“Well, that’s great! I’m glad you had fun.”
>You step back and your smile takes on a hard edge as you hold up the power ring that you just filched off of the sloppy Latern before you.
>Gardner’s eyes bug out as you pocket his ring and crack your knuckles.
“In fact, I’m going to show you precisely just how MUCH fun I had while I was taking my little ‘vacation’.”
>“Ah, crud.”

>Fin.