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Speaker-to-Birds

Chillaxin' with Beady

Oct 1st, 2016
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  1.  
  2. >Be Anon, working around the house on a sunny Thursday afternoon with some music playing in the background.
  3. >Beady, on the other hand, is in the room she commandeered for her taxidermy/art/biological experiments. Or at least she was.
  4. >She's kicking it in the den right now, on the couch
  5. >Your house/human hideaway/fortress of Evil and Pancakes is currently a ghoulish museum of stuffed dead animals, skeletons, and various specimens in jars
  6. >Some of them are animated. Not sure how the little minx managed that trick, but they can mix drinks and clean.
  7. >You're not letting them cook anything but toast, though, after the Potatopocalypse.
  8. >You rarely get pony visitors anymore, other than the recent run of weirdos who started paying money to see you. Which suits you fine.
  9. >You flop down on the couch next to her for a breather with a couple of beers. You're long since out of Newcastle and Kirin, but the local stuff's grown on you. She edges away slightly.
  10. >girl likes her space. You toss her a beer.
  11. >You sit there in silence for a while, sipping your brews. You look at her out of the corner of your eye, and see her head bouncing slightly to the music
  12. >"Whats' the name of this piece?" she asks.
  13. >"Song."
  14. >"Whatever." She finishes her beer. "What's the name?"
  15. >"'You Look Like a Jew,'" you say.
  16. >"No, I look like an owl," she says. What sense of humor she has is both ultra-dry and just a bit morbid. You're honestly not sure she's joking.
  17. >"No, that's the name of the song. By Pussy Galore." The playlist segues into the next song. "And this is "Cunt Tease." Same group.
  18. >"Vulgar." You listen to it for a while. Once again, she's sort of barely nodding to the music.
  19. >"So what do you think?" you ask her. You pass her some jerky you keep in a bowl. No idea what animal it comes from, since cows are sapient here, but it's teriyaki flavored
  20. >Just as well. Cows are decent people.
  21. >She thinks for a moment.
  22.  
  23. >After a long, long pause, she finally says, "My observation--it's atonal. Discordant, grating. Harsh, and irritating. Complex."
  24. >One of her animated skeleton/muscle golem things wanders by, sweeping up the floor.
  25. >You've nicknamed the little things "scutters," since they seem to share their creator-programmer's morbid personality, it's their function and that's what they remind you of.
  26. >When they're not under orders, you see them in the back quietly playing cards. Or just staring out the window and brooding.
  27. >You wonder if she'd appreciate Red Dwarf.
  28. >"The music reminds me of you. What you say your world was like," she says.
  29. >She's munching her jerky absently.
  30. >"You find me irritating?"
  31. >"I find everyone irritating," she says.
  32. >She simply lacks a filter and says whatever she thinks. You asked a question, she answered honestly.
  33. >You don't take it personally, If she didn't like you or get something out of this, she wouldn't be here with you in the first place.
  34. >"Another beer?" You hand her another, and she takes it without a word.
  35. >The playlist comes to the end of the Pussy Galore set and goes into Naked Raygun's "Soldier's Requiem." "Anon?" Beady asks.
  36. >"Yeah?"
  37. >"Would you mind if we listened to Pussy Galore again?"
  38.  
  39. ****
  40.  
  41. >Peep enters the room where you and Beady are drinking beer and mostly sitting in companionable silence.
  42. >"'Sup, guys" she says. Beady says nothing, but inclines her head slightly.
  43. >Oh crap. "Just a sec," you say. You get up to randomly tap this next track on your laptop's music playlist before it can quite register with Peep.
  44. >You're not sure 'Pigeon Kill' is going to go over well with her. At the very least, it's in poor taste.
  45. >You sit down in time for the next song to begin pouring through the den's speakers.
  46. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuMLpdnOjY [Embed]
  47. >Oh crap. You get up and try to stop the track. Unfortunately, the player is lagging and unresponsive.
  48. >Fucking iTunes is a POS, man. In all seriousness it is
  49. >Peep's jaw drops in shock as Tom Lehrer's melodious voice echoes through the house, discussing the finer points of birb-murdering.
  50. >And squirrels, because fuck squirrels.
  51. >You look up up at an unfamiliar sound--Beady's chortling. You almost never hear it, and she's got an interesting laugh.
  52. >iTunes finally gets the bug out of its ass and stops on its own. Shit. You look at the stricken expression on Peep's face.
  53. >"I can come back later?" she offers.
  54. >"Can we maybe rewind back to the point where you came into the room and just start over again? And pretend you didn't hear any of that?" you say sheepishly?
  55. >Beady's howling with laughter now.
  56. >Fucking drunk owlpones, man.
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