Perseverance - Ch. 2

My dad takes another chair from the other side of the room and sits down beside my bed. My mom and sister take the one already by me. My dad take a deep breath and starts to tell me what all I have missed. On the night of my birthday, the man driving the truck had a heart attack while behind the wheel. He had been dead before I heard him hit the metal post on the other side of the street. This wasn't found out until a day after the incident. When I was pinned against the wall, my dad managed to call an ambulance before checking on me. After my mom checked out Umeko, her nurse training kicked in. Dad went around to the drivers door and found the recently deceased man. As soon as he pulled the dead man from the truck, a police car pulled onto the scene. My mom then told the police what she saw happen. She then went over to me to see just how bad of a situation I was in. Dad wanted to move the truck, but mom had to persuade him to wait until the paramedics arrived. The reasoning was just in case the truck was stopping me from having massive blood loss. After the police secured the area, the ambulance arrived. By this time, I was already passed out.

It wasn't until I was brought into the hospital and ran through a gauntlet of exams that the extent of the damage was known. My entire left arm was shattered, with at least four compound fractures and countless other hairline fractures. Sadly, that was not the extent of the damage. When the truck smashed me in between itself and the wall, it had destroyed some of my shoulder as well. After more tests and scans, the doctors found out that my blood vessels were severely pinched and that I had no feeling in my arm. The blood was barely flowing to my arm and the blood in it wasn't flowing out. My arm was starting to turn a disturbing shade of purple. When all of this was brought up to my parents, the asked if there was any way to save my arm. With a miniscule chance of success, my doctors argued against it. They said the safest thing to do was to, sadly, amputate my arm at the shoulder. They would then have to rebuild some of my shoulder as well.

It was here when my dad finally broke down. Throughout the entire retelling, his voice was mechanical and almost dead sounding. But when he told me that they had to cut off my arm, he started sobbing. Now, I can count on two... well, one hand twice, the times I have seen my dad cry. I guess being a third generation soldier for the US means you have seen your share of hardships and you learn to hold the emotions at bay. I'm speechless as I watch my my dad is cry.  He then leans over the side rail of the bed to give me a hug and kisses the top of my head. He slowly finishes crying as I feel the full weight of what he said happened sink in. My mom and sister also come back over, and with all of us teary eyed, we hug.

It surprises everyone when I speak out first. "I love you all. Thank you for being here for me," I pause to sniffle back a tear. "But I will get through this. Just you watch me. This will not break me." I try to smile but I started crying then, causing me to lose my strong facade.  My family closes in once more, and I can tell how loved I truly am.

After a couple minutes, My dad states that it was time they were heading home. My sister doesn't sound happy about that, but my mom says that they will be back again. After several minutes of goodbyes, my dad was the last to leave my side. Turning before he left the door, he leaves me with a simple message. "You are a stronger man than I can call myself Yuudai. Just know that we will always love you." It's maybe 30 minutes later that I fall into a dreamless sleep.

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As the nurse finishes wrapping the new bandages around me, my dad and doctor walk into my room. The nurse excuses himself and my dad takes the seat next to my bed while the doctor stands beside him. They look at one another for a brief moment before my doctor starts talking. The speech that comes seems kinda rehearsed, but maybe it's because of how many facts are stated. My dad says that he and my mom have been talking to the doctor and they all agree that I should try going to another school; Yamaku Academy. The doctor tells me that it is a school for young adults that have gone through situations like mine. The school has a 24 hour on-duty nursing staff in case something might happen, but for all purposes it is a normal high school. I start to lose focus as they rattle off more stats and things about the school. All I think of though is the friends that I'm going to be leaving behind. When I notice that both dad and the doctor are looking at me, I just reply with that it's just a lot of information to take in at once. They seem convinced enough with my answer that they don't press me for anything more.

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Seven weeks, that is the total amount of time I have be in the hospital. The last three weeks have been busy for me.  The physical therapy and my friends coming to see me take up most of my time. I still try to keep up on some of my schoolwork, but I can't really focus on it. Not with the knowledge that I'm going to be transferring to another school soon.

It was four weeks ago that I felt my first real phantom limb pains. My mom was there with me and tried to help me the best she could. The pain coursed across my chest and what would have been my left arm for several long minutes. The burning afterwards reduced me to tears and shaking and lasted for 30-40 minutes. When the doctor came in, she relayed what had happened because I wasn't in any condition to talk. It was then that I was given what amounted to an open prescription on pain medication, the strong ones. I was to take two a day as part of a routine. One in the morning and one before dinner, taking another if things got bad. I was warned about going over board with them as that could create a dependency.

The second to last day in the hospital brings me one of the biggest surprises. I just got done with my shower and was walking to my bed when Iwanako and Hisao walk into my room. I'm standing there in my gym shorts and without a shirt, with a surprised expression on my face. Iwanako immediately covers her mouth as she draws in a breath. Hisao just looks on, dumbstruck. I can understand, I was the same way when I first saw what had happened. The amount of scaring is huge, from the top of my shoulder to what would have been my armpit. The angry, thick, red line of scar tissue showing where my left arm had once been. The bruising has starting to fade away, but some yellow spots can still be seen in some places. The nurse has been waiting by my bed when I stopped suddenly. She comes over and asks if she can go ahead and wrap me up or if I want the people to leave first. I ask her to go ahead and wrap me up, and that the visitors are my friends and they can stay.

 As the the silent duo watch on, I proceed to have my chest wrapped in the linen cloth and gauze. After finishing, the nurse leaves me and my visitors alone. I wander over to a closet, grabb a t-shirt and pull it down over my head carefully. I motion for them to come over and sit down while I sit on the bed. Iwanako seems really riled up, so Hisao let her take the chair while he stands beside her. I can tell that both of them want to say something, but they can't , or wouldn't, bring themselves to ask. So, I decided to break the silence.

"And thus you see the cost of heroism. It's not a pretty sight. I'm sorry if I startled you," I chuckle ruefully.

Hisao shakes his head, slowly adding "You're not the one that should be sorry Yuu. We wanted to come surprise you. We just now got the chance to come see you." Hisao wraps his arm around Iwanako, pulling her into a hug.

Iwanako nods slowly, trying to not look at where my left arm once was. "A-Are you doing okay?" Her voice is faint and soft, almost as if she's afraid of saying something that could hurt me.

"I'm the best as I can be, I guess." I shrug my shoulders while looking down into my lap. "Phantom pains are a pain in the ass. Its like all the pain from my accident is back. It slowly moves on, the pain meds take the brunt of most of the damage." I give a half hearted smirk as I look up at them.

 Iwanako draws a quick breath as she hears this. Hisao just looks at me like I'm something not of this world. The shock on their faces makes me feel a little unsettled.

"How can you calmly say that?!" Both of my visitors ask the same question at the same time. They look at each other and back to me.

I chuckle while watching their actions. "It's easy, actually. Very easy. If I hadn't done what I did, Umeko wouldn't be here anymore." I pause for a second as I feel a tear well up. "I can justify all the pain I feel because she is still around. I still have my little sister. I think an arm is well worth that price." I wipe the moisture from my cheek as tears slowly run down my face. Trying to not let myself cry in front of my friends is harder than I thought.

Hisao just stands there, his mouth agape. There have been very few times when I have seen him at a loss for words. It's Iwanako that surprises both of us, though. Before I notice that she had stood up, she is giving me a hug and crying softly into my chest. I blush and awkwardly give her a one armed hug while looking to Hisao to do something. Shaking off his stupor, Hisao gentle wraps his arms around Iwanako. Slowly pulling her back off the bed, Iwanako blushes and stands semi-behind Hisao. They whisper to each other for a couple seconds before Hisao nods his head.

Iwanako leans back down and kisses me on the cheek. She blushes and starts to head for the door, waiting for Hisao. My best friends grabs my shoulder and looks me in the eyes. "You are a better man than anyone I have ever known. Take care of yourself. We need to catch a bus home, so I'll call you later." With that, he lets go and walks towards the door and his girlfriend. I'm left in silence as they leave, with Iwanako giving me a little wave before they leave the room.