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Hey Lyra, i don't know if you will see this, but i just want to say how sorry i am for what i've done and all the pain i've caused you, i'm really really sorry, i've been so stupid letting stuff get into my head, i should have told you what i thought and stuff, but i was just afraid that you would be mad at me and stuff, i mean, i'm not saying that you would do or anything, but i just didn't want you to be upset, but me not telling you has just made me get the wrong idea because the thoughts have built up in my head and then i have a break down, this is when i get mad and say stupid stuff and sometimes stuff that isn't true, but that doesn't mean i lie, well maybe? but i lose control, all them thoughts just close up in my head and i get washed away by them, there is just this shell of me left, that is just evil, i can't control it yet, i might be able to if i talk about how i feel, but i just don't want people to get the wrong idea about me and stuff, but i don't say anything i do this, what i said before, it wasn't me talking, well, it was, i was just lost in all my bad thoughts, when you said goodbye to me forever, i was upset, i didn't want to lose you as you are very important to me, but i just had this with Angel not long ago, she has said she would end mine and her friendship so many times before, i was so close to losing something so special to me again, it also made me feel like you just wanted to get rid of a bother like she put it, as well, i know that wasn't the case though, i hurt you so bad to the point you cried, you wanted to get away from the pain like i did with Angel, i'm so sorry for what i said before though, your nothing like Angel, your so good and kind and sweet and caring, that you so much better than Angel, you was so good to me, you was my very best friend, i want to say sorry for all the bad and mean stuff i said to you before, i know sorry might not take what i did away, but i'm really am sorry for insulting you and calling you worse than Angel and all the other stuff that came out of my mouth that made you feel bad and less of a person, i would like us to try and understand both of each others POV if we could, as i'm not good at seeing stuff from others POV, so it's hard for me to know how there feeling and stuff. can we still be friends? i miss you very much Lyra, to the point where it hurts so much, you are so important to me as a friend and as a person, hell  what you said you would do for me, i would do for you, i will move the world for you too and i guess go through spiders too, i misunderstood it before, but i can see why you said it, because for a friend so great i would do anything for them, your words i understand at last, i was a big part of your life, just you how you are a big part of mine, you was there for me, we spent a lot of time together hanging out and having fun together, i didn't even feel lonely while you was here, time stoped even, to the point i forgot what day it was, that's how much i enjoyed our time together, so please Lyra, if we can still be friends i would like that and we will try and understand each other more, with how the other thought and stuff, but you are my very best friend and i really want to keep you in my life, i need you, no Lyra in my life is no complete life for me, you are important, you are my very best friend, a friend that can never be replaced by anyone, i really really miss you Lyra and i'm so so so so so so very sorry for all the pain i caused you, i still want us to be friends so much, i want to help you beat your cancer so much as well, to me, you will always be my best friend and nothing will change that, you have become so close to me in just a month and you have become so much more of a friend than Angel ever was too me, i hope we can talk again and try and fix this, just know though, i will always help you fight you cancer, i'm there in spirit helping you win and beat it.