Punny Pinkie: Soft Drink

>Jeez were you thirsty.
>Even piss was acceptable at this point.
>The hot summer sun beat down on you just like a Kentucky redneck did on his wife after a hard day of drinking as you walked down the streets of Ponyville.
>Its relentless downpour of heat was practically bringing you to your knees.
>Every single store was out of things to drink because the ponies had known this heat wave was going to happen.
>You arrive at the last store, the one you dreaded entering...
>Sugarcube Corner.
>Slowly opening the door, you peek inside and see Pinkie sitting behind the counter, drinking a can of Dr. Pony.
>Your eyes widen as she downs the sweet liquid.
>Swinging the door open, you enter the pink demon's domain.
"Hey Pinkie? Do you guys have any more Dr. Pony?"
>"Of course Anonymous!" she giggles, dipping under the counter.
>You begin heading towards the counter until she jumps out and pegs a can towards your chest.
>The can makes solid contact, knocking you over.
>You hold your chest in pain as the can hits the ground and sprays pop everywhere.
>Pinkie quickly runs over to you, a look of concern on her face.
>"Anonymous! Are you all right?"
>Grabbing the pink menace by the scruff of her neck, you bring her face to yours.
"Why in the hell would you do that!?"
>She tries to suppress her laughter, but clearly does a horrible job at it.
>"Sorry! I didn't think you'd get hurt because it was a soft drink!"