- So things are okay for a good while. School is going to be starting soon. Derek’s given 25% of the company to his uncle, so that means he works 8 hour days and the rest he does from home. He turns his phone off during dinner time, though. It’s family time. Stiles kind of feels like the epitome of a nanny. But that’s totes ok.
- So Stiles is cleaning the kitchen and Derek comes in and he sighs and thuds his head against the fridge and mutters ‘I have no idea how you do it every day’ and Stiles turns around and bursts out laughing.
- Derek’s got tons of clips in his hair and planet stickers all over his face. Stiles only left him alone with the kids for ten minutes so he could do the dishes and wipe down the mess from lunch.
- Stiles walks over and he peels off a Saturn sticker from Derek’s forehead and they’re just. Supremely close and stiles says ‘I think the ridiculously large paycheck helps. Also the cuddles. Those are good for the ego.’
- And Derek laughs. It’s a full belly laugh as Stiles is peeling a sticker from Derek’s cheek.
- And Derek just rocks in. stiles leans back as a reaction and Derek freezes because it just… it was a very natural movement. If Stiles didn’t know better he would have assumed it was something tha happened all the time. Them joking around and Derek kissing him.
- And Stiles wants to lean in to kiss Derek because maybe that’s what he was trying to do.
- And then Derek jerks away and he looks completely horrified with himself. A
- Stiles’ gut churns. the laugh is gone and Derek blurts out ‘I need to get back to work.’ and then he just. Walks away. And stiles has no idea what just happened.
- But then Derek’s out the door within a half hour. He barely stops to give olly and andy a kiss on the head, and then he’s gone.
- Derek doesn’t come home on time. He comes home late. Really late. It’s almost midnight and he hasn’t answered his phone and Stiles is completely out of his mind.
- And then Derek stumbles into the house a little after midnight, and he reeks of alcohol. Stiles knows there are certain types of wine and liquors that can get werewolves drunk due to small infusions of wolfs bane/aconite.
- and Stiles is fucking livid. like, 'you have CHILDREN. You don't get to do this, Derek! You don't get to shut down and fuck off. It took me HOURS to get them to go to sleep because they were terrified you were never coming home! How many times have you just not come back? How many times have you just abandoned your own children because your head is so far up your ass that you can't even see that there are two small boys here that love you. You are their WORLD, Derek!"
- oh my god. and Derek is just standing there, letting Stiles yell at him because nobody has ever talked back to him - the fucking ALPHA - like this.
- Stiles is whisper-yelling and Derek is just like ‘you act like you own me.’ and Stiles starts to respond but Derek is crowding him up against the wall. ‘you talk to me like I don’t know you want me.’
- and Derek leans into stiles and mouths at his neck and is like 'I smell it on you every time I touch you. know you want this.'
- He mouths his way up to Stiles’ lips and kisses him. and it /hurts/ because stiles thinks derek is just responding to the drunkeness and stiles' atraction.
- against the wall and says 'all you ever do is make me listen to you and do the shit you want. the one time I'm doing what you want without you asking for it and you tell me to stop?'
- and Stiles squirms because derek is being beliigerent. and he's like 'this isn't what i want.' because it's not. he doesn't want derek to just use him for sex. he wants derek to love him.
- and derek snarls 'I hate you. I hate that you came in here and changed our lives and now you throw this in my face like, what? like you're better than me? is that what is is? just because I didn't-- I didn't get that my own child was different? that makes you better? that makes me a bad father? is that what it is?'
- stiles is like 'fuck you, derek. you don't -- you made me pack--"
- "The children made you pack!" derek roars, shoving Stiles so hard against the wall he sees stars. "They dragged you into this fucking family whether I liked it or not. you're everywhere! When I'm not at work, I'm either asleep or here where you are! Everywhere I go, you're there! I can't get rid of you!"
- Stiles feels like he's been gutted, even as Derek realizes what he's said. and he tries to apologize but Olly comes running into the room crying. and he is screaming at Derek, hitting him and telling him to stop being mean to Stiles.
- Stiles is pretty sure all of them heard the sound of his heart breaking.
- Derek stares down as Stiles picks Olly up and Stiles just. he buries his face into a crying Olly's throat and hopes this kids tears cover up the scent of his own. and he rocks Olly and tries to act like he's not been so affected.
- he feels Andy clinging to his leg and then Derek is picking her up and putting her in Stiles' arms. and Stiles holds them both and realizes he can't do this anymore.
- he also realizes that this will be the last time he can hold these two because there is no way he can come back tomorrow like none of this ever happened.
- derek is talking and Stiles knows he's trying to apologize but, really, why apologize for the truth.
- I mean, Stiles NEEDS these three. He's Scott's best friend and Lydia's boytoy (basically gay boyfriend even though he's not gay) but he's never had someone rely on him before. Someone who makes him feel like he actually has a purpose. Losing them is going to remind him of how little people would miss him if he were gone. And he can’t get any more attached. He can’t. he’s too young to feel this way. He’s too overwhelmed by it all.
- And they’re standing there, with Stiles rubbing Olly’s back and he just swallows, closes his eyes, and says ‘I -- I’m putting in my resignation tomorrow.’ -he knows they don't know that word. it's never come up in any of their little vocab lessons.
- And Derek snaps his head up and stares at him and stiles says ‘I have to get ready… get for when classes start, you know? I can’t be doing this and studying. It’s a lot of work. And you know. My jeep’s paid off and all, so I don’t need the money anymore.’
- ‘I thought you said it was more than just the paycheck.’ Derek says quietly, broken.
- “School is more important. I can‘t multitask kids and getting my degree.’ and Stiles is lying. Derek knows he’s lying. And Derek knows he can’t stop Stiles. He looks devastated, eyes sad as he watches Stiles until stiles finally has to look away, to look down at Olly asleep in his arms.
- And quietly, Derek says ‘okay.
a guest Jan 4th, 2013 22 Never
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