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- >have a pet fluffy pony for some completely unknown reason, after all you hate the bastards and usually just punt them into a lake, cut off their legs or pull off whatever abuse you recently read about on 4chan.
- >watch Star Trek:TNG with him instead because why the hell not?
- >somehow his favorite character is Q
- >fluffy walks around house spreading chaos and disorder
- >which really just means laughing at random objects and belittling them
- >ironically not much different from the actual character
- >arrive home one day and find trail of blood running through the house
- >not again, blood is hard to clean after it sits for a while
- >follow trail to kitchen, expecting to find fluffy killed by some hilarious mechanism
- >instead find fluffy cringing with his left front leg inside of your toaster
- >did the fucker try to make breakfast or something stupid like that?
- >run over, grab his ass and pull him out, don't want it to start a fire on accident
- >only now do you see that fluffy's leg has been replaced with a chicken leg
- >fluffy was trying to cauterize it in the toaster
- >follow blood trail out of the kitchen to back door
- >entire back porch is covered in blood
- >fluffy's leg is lying there on the porch
- >as well as a dead chicken
- >whatthefuckisthis
- >bring fluffy to the vet who is a total hottie and you've been trying to tap that for a while now, she is so impressed that you were able to perfectly attach the foreign limb that she doesn't question what the fuck actually happened
- >don't dare tell her that fluffy did it to himself
- >keep a close eye on fluffy for the next few days to see if he does something ridiculous again, but nothing happens
- >the next day, you get home only to find a dead fluffy in the living room
- >this isn't your fluffy, though; you have an earth pony. this one is a pegasus, and it's missing a wing and an eye.
- >trail of blood leading into the kitchen
- >run in and find that fluffy is using your soldering iron to cauterize his wounds this time
- >much more precise and effective
- >how did he even stitch that wing onto his back
- >not to mention remove his fucking eye and put in the other one
- >you're frozen in confusion and some degree of terror
- >fluffy turns to you after finishing with the soldering iron
- >"Oh, I fowgotted how gwim yu' can be!" he giggles
- >there was a time when you'd have taken to the sorry stick in this kind of situation
- >or probably just killed the fucker in some grotesque manner on the spot
- >but instead you feel some sort of respect for this creature
- >almost like you want to give him a hug and congratulate him for his efforts
- >...NO! You are the abusefag, there's no way you could have these feels for a damn fluffy.
- >go to bed early without even bothering to clean up the mess downstairs
- >dreams are naught but nightmares, bizarre beyond all description
- >wake up early the next morning to the sound of rain outside
- >go downstairs to the kitchen still half-asleep, start some coffee, microwave some oatmeal
- >blood all over the floor, clearly fluffy was at work through the night doing who-knows-what to himself
- >wonder why it's raining when the forecast clearly stated there was no chance of rain at all this week
- >suddenly realize that you didn't put any water in the oatmeal
- >pop open the microwave, put some water in, start over again and ponder whether this mistake will make the oatmeal taste weird
- >hate half-awake mornings like this
- >go to get some coffee, see that water is still in the coffee pot and you didn't actually pour it into the coffee maker yet
- >you fucking hate mornings like this
- >pour water into coffee maker, oatmeal is ready, eat that shit and can't tell if it tastes weird or not
- >get ready to chug this fucking coffee when you notice the smell of chocolate
- >this is coffee, not chocolate, what the hell are you doing, nose? wake the fuck up!
- >smell is coming from outside though
- >look outside, FUCK it's bright out, give it a minute and look again
- >brown puddles outside in the yard
- >FUCKING FLUFFY PONIES SHIT IN YOUR YARD
- >they even broke your favorite lawn ornament
- >charge to the front door, grab your trusty anti-fluffy truncheon
- >a metal baseball bat with bolts fitted through it so that they stick out on either end
- >much like the traditional wooden bat with huge nails, but sturdier and easier to clean
- >also get more distance from your swings
- >bust out onto the front lawn ready to bust some fluffy skulls
- >no fluffies in sight, raindrops fall lazily from a clear sky
- >the smell of chocolate is nauseating even though you usually love it
- >stick out your tongue and catch a raindrop
- >it's fucking chocolate rain
- >some stay dry and others feel the pain
- >rush back inside
- >where the fuck has fluffy gone off to?
- >there's a note on the coffee table in the living room
- >fluffy has left to join the Q Continuum and help the commander of NCC-1701-D to explore existence itself
- >okay seriously what the fuck
- >decide you'd better summon Twilight and her friends because their magical plots can fix all sorts of shit
- >make up a story about an ancient enemy who will ruin Equestria if they don't fix up your yard and stop
- >this
- >fucking
- >chocolate rain
- >forecast to be falling yesterday
- >Twilight et al arrive quickly, so you brief them on the situation and get the elements of harmony out of the closet
- >the fucking box of elements is empty
- >should've locked that closet, but there's no way fluffy could've got in there, right?
- >time for Plan B: have the speakers and TVs in your house play mysterious crap that will motivate Twilight and Co. to fix shit up for you
- >they come up with some kind of plan and run outside
- >finally get to have your coffee, it's lukewarm now but you don't care
- >watch some Star Trek:TNG for a few hours
- >step outside to get some sun
- >you forgot all about the
- >chocolate rain
- >makes the best of friends begin to fight
- >there's no way Twilight's crew would actually fight with each other, though
- >holy shit you are so bored
- >it's trolling time
- >where the hell is your fluffy pony at?
- >oh, right, he got lost
- >decide it would be funny to spam Twilight with all the boring crap she sent to you over the last year
- >forward all of her messages back to her
- >sit on your throne and giggle in anticipation of her response
- >nary a minute passes before the Friendly Equine Comrade Korp arrives at your chamber door
- >'tis your favorite student Twilight trotting through your chamber door
- >with her friends, and nothing more
- >at this moment you recall your fluffy pony's favorite ball
- >and how much you wish to maul his corpse upon the floor
- >Twilight speaks the horrid news; - there will be no more abuse
- >as they've managed to transfuse - transfuse Discord into ore
- >cased in stone, forevermore
- >ponies ruined your fluffy
- >give them awards and shit anyhow
- >next day you buy a new fluffy and abuse it in classic form
- >never think about the fluffy who came so close to his dream before he was turned to stone
- >the fluffy who turned the world upside-down, inside-out and all about
- >the fluffy who made you love, even for a moment
- >you're the absolute ruler of Equestria, who has time for that shit anyhow
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