Roland/Sebastian - Plot Hook

[23:05] <aimlessCanine> ===START!===
[23:05]  * aimlessCanine began espering annoyedOtaku!
[23:05] <aimlessCanine> Hello? Is this working?
[23:06] <annoyedOtaku> To whom do I owe the pleasure?
[23:06] <aimlessCanine> Fuck, I can't believe I'm actually talkin' to an alien...
[23:07] <annoyedOtaku> I'm not an Alien you ignoramus!
[23:07] <aimlessCanine> I mean, yeah, I s'pose you could be right, what with the idea of aliens bein' kinda relative an' all...
[23:08] <aimlessCanine> But you look different from me. Like, in a dramatic fashion.
[23:08] <aimlessCanine> I dunno where your horns got off to, for example, or why your skin isn't gray.
[23:09] <annoyedOtaku> You can see me? Who the hell is this?
[23:10] <aimlessCanine> Ah, pardon my manners; mighty rude of me not to introduce myself. Name's Roland, and you an' I are destined for great things, friend.
[23:10] <annoyedOtaku> You didn't answer my first question.
[23:11] <aimlessCanine> Oh, yeah. That's prolly worth addressin' too; I can see you, yeah, but from a terribly remote location.
[23:11] <aimlessCanine> Probably a different universe? At least a different planet?
[23:12] <annoyedOtaku> ...Are you high?
[23:12] <aimlessCanine> Naw. I mean, I smoke and drink on occasion, but I say no to drugs for the most part.
[23:13] <aimlessCanine> You ever shot a revolver on peyote? I ain't, but I heard the shit's cash.
[23:14] <annoyedOtaku> You can't be serious.
[23:14] <aimlessCanine> See, s'kinda like a movie, but I don't do any of the annoyin' shit, like play dumb or play mysterious.
[23:15] <aimlessCanine> I'm straight up tellin' you; I'm an alien. I can see you from another world. And Ka has ordained our meetin' and interaction.
[23:15] <annoyedOtaku> Ka?
[23:15] <aimlessCanine> The force that directs all things fate-related
[23:16] <aimlessCanine> And probably a number of other things that my master didn't do a very good job impartin' to me.
[23:16] <annoyedOtaku> So, like Dharma...
[23:16] <aimlessCanine> Dharma... s'that a name? Someone I should know?
[23:16] <aimlessCanine> It is a valid troll name, after all (thinkin' emoji)
[23:17] <annoyedOtaku> Its a goddamn teaching of Buddhism!
[23:18] <aimlessCanine> Buddhism, huh? Sounds interestin', but I gotta profess that I'm a believer in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, afore you go on about religion.
[23:18] <aimlessCanine> See, this would be bad writing if we were characters in a story.
[23:18] <aimlessCanine> But we're not, so that'd be preposterous, right?
[23:19] <annoyedOtaku> Ah great, christianity has even penetrated the confines of the mighty cosmos huh?
[23:20] <aimlessCanine> Well, I wouldn't say "cosmos..." Though some might say "kosm..." I digress! It's not really a cosmic event so much as strange shit comin' from your place to mine, an' vice-versa
[23:22] <annoyedOtaku> What does this "strange shit" have to do with me?
[23:22] <annoyedOtaku> And how did you get this number?
[23:22] <aimlessCanine> Well, reckon it begins with the fact that my viewport was open to you sittin' in that chair beamin' complacently about whatever you were typin' on that computer of yours.
[23:23] <aimlessCanine> and it continues with the fact that shit keeps appearin' all over the damn place on my planet.
[23:23] <aimlessCanine> Meteors 'n shit.
[23:23] <annoyedOtaku> Do you have any idea who you're messing with?
[23:24] <aimlessCanine> Sorry, lemme get to the good bit here:
[23:24] <aimlessCanine> Thing is, a lot of dangerous shit lives on my planet.
[23:25] <aimlessCanine> Large monsters'n the like.
[23:25] <aimlessCanine> Strange, experimental weapons from way back in the days of the old regime... comin' round to your place... don't sound pretty, does it?
[23:25] <annoyedOtaku> I know for a fact this room isn't bugged. How are you observing me?
[23:26] <aimlessCanine> UGH GOD DAMN IT LET'S TRY ANOTHER TACK
[23:26]  * aimlessCanine sent an attachment: screencap.png!
[23:26] <aimlessCanine> ((It's a screencap of Roland's computer screen. On it is what appears to be a picture of you and his chat client, showing your exchange, proving its validity))
[23:27] <annoyedOtaku> Huh...
[23:28] <annoyedOtaku> Well fuck me right?
[23:28] <aimlessCanine> Y'know, you look like you'd make a pretty good kismesis, all lean an' sharp lookin' like that.
[23:28] <aimlessCanine> But I don't swing black, and I favor girls, anyway.
[23:31] <annoyedOtaku> No! You fucking dumbass! Why are you watching me type at my computer like some sort of pervy extradimensional poon ninja!
[23:31] <aimlessCanine> Oh. Well, I mean, I can be kinda pervy, but I ain't seen that girl in a good minute... look, point is, our association is clearly important.
[23:31] <aimlessCanine> We were brought together by Ka or fate or whatever ya call it.
[23:32] <aimlessCanine> Because there's a problem that affects both of our worlds, and we've been brought together to solve it.
[23:33] <annoyedOtaku> Ok... Lets go off on a wild hair here and say I actually believe your crazy ass. Why is our association clearly important?
[23:34] <aimlessCanine> Somethin' lets me feel it, blowin' in the wind like so much smoke from a fire.
[23:35] <aimlessCanine> I know it ain't a terribly convincin' answer, but it's the best I can do.
[23:36] <annoyedOtaku> So there is something of terrible importance bringing our paths together and the best answer you have is basically a feeling?
[23:37] <aimlessCanine> You could say I'm... Hooked on that feeling. B)
[23:37] <aimlessCanine> YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
[23:38] <annoyedOtaku> Alrighty then, suppose I believe you even further. What does this have to do with me? What skills could you possibly need as to merit contacting me?
[23:38] <aimlessCanine> I dunno. Can you shoot shit?
[23:39] <annoyedOtaku> That depends on your definition of shit. And why, when, and where would I be doing the shooting?
[23:40] <aimlessCanine> Aw man, you didn't say "yes" so I could say "Good enough for me". Shit.
[23:40] <aimlessCanine> And you ask a buncha questions. What the hell is wrong with just shootin' shit because it needs shootin'?!
[23:40] <aimlessCanine> They're giant goddamn monsters! Ain't nothin' complicated about goin' and closin' portals after shootin' a buncha giant monsters.
[23:41] <annoyedOtaku> Monsters...
[23:41] <annoyedOtaku> Fucking Monsters...
[23:41] <aimlessCanine> Yup. Most of 'em are insectoid. Some are more like mammals. The worst are like dragons...
[23:41] <aimlessCanine> Fuckin' dragons. Can you imagine tryna kill a dragon?
[23:41] <annoyedOtaku> No.
[23:41] <aimlessCanine> Didn't think so, but you an' I are gonna figure it out.
[23:42] <annoyedOtaku> So this is a job offer.
[23:43] <aimlessCanine> Kinda. The payment is "not havin' your world destroyed in fire an' shit an' maybe a small modicum of my eternal gratitude." But yeah, it's kinda a job offer.
[23:43] <annoyedOtaku> Shouldn't you contact like... A hero or something?
[23:44] <annoyedOtaku> I personally know a few who would jump at the chance to do something like this.
[23:44] <aimlessCanine> But how do you know you ain't the hero I'm lookin' for?
[23:44] <annoyedOtaku> Believe me, I'm not.
[23:45] <aimlessCanine> We'll see about that. I know you ain't scared. I'll get back to you on this. How's that sound? Tell you when I know more.
[23:47] <annoyedOtaku> Sure, you do what you want. But I'm no hero, never was.
[23:47] <aimlessCanine> Aight, slick. Long days an' pleasant nights.
[23:48] <annoyedOtaku> Yeah, pleased to make your acquaintance. Stay gold.
[23:49]  * aimlessCanine has ceased espering annoyedOtaku!
[23:49] <aimlessCanine> ==END!==