Unforeseen Consequences - A way with words

>”Gotta be honest, squirt” RD landed on the floor and kicked the ground “I’d be more disappointed this wasn’t like the millionth time it has happened, I mean the future of Equestria is hanging from a thread again, we are the only ponies who can save the day again, and now you’re telling us that we have no plan… again!”
“Disappointed? Oh, excuse me for thinking that two national heroes would be able to help me come up with a plan in the thing they are supposed to excel at!”
>”To be fair, Anon” Twilight replied to you with a calm tone “We are not exactly professional heroes. All the times we have helped to save the day is thanks to the wonderful magic of friendship… and a bit of luck. That said, I’m sure that if we put our minds together, we can come up with something great!”
>”Well…” RD tapped her chin “What do we know about Blueblood anyways? I mean, besides managing to give Rarity the worst date in her life and trying to smack the squirt a couple times”
“Not much, I have only seen Blueblood few times... thankfully, but I know the guy only cares about himself and only himself, so adulating his snobbish flank is a must. Hmmm, what else? Oh, yeah! After he tried to stamp my face with his hooves my moms banned him from entering the castle forever and I’m pretty sure that hit him where it hurts because even when that featherbrain is loaded with bits, I remember that his fake status as royalty was like super important to him.”
>”Puh-lease!” Eris waved her paw dismissively “The dork said that we have to keep the guy happy, right? We don’t have to do much then” Eris got engulfed in a white flame and turned into the incredibly hot mare from before “Just give me ten minutes and I’ll have the guy eating from my hoof. Nopony can resist me”

>Twilight tilted her head in confusion and asked ”What?!”
>You started pacing back and forth across the room. Always looking at the floor and speaking in a rushed tone.
“Okay, so hear me out on this. Blueblood is really full of himself, right?”
>”Right” Twilight nodded
“Blueblood believes that he’s above basically anypony else, that’s why he also likes to hit on every mare under the sun, because he thinks that everypony will fall for him just because he’s… well… him. This is why Eris’ idea is so frickin’ good! We would be basically using his own stupidity in our favor by…
>You stopped dead in your tracks as you turned to the three mares with a super excited expression
“HOLD ON! I just had the best idea ever!”
>”Well, Anon” Twilight giggled a bit and gently hit your chest with her hoof” don’t keep us in suspense. What is it?”
“Y’see… uh… how do I put this? Twilight, you are a princess, right?”
>”Yes…” Twilight slowly nodded, her tone becoming more cautios “But you already knew that and I’m sure that Blueblood knows it too”
>You blushed a little and rubbed the back of your neck as you gave Twilight an awkward smile
“Yeah, sure but uhm…. Ah… you… are also very good looking”
>Twilight raised an eyebrow and asked confused ”Excuse me?”
>”Meh…” Eris shrugged “More like incredibly average if you ask me”
>Twilight clearly took offense by that since she shot a glare at Eris and barked ”It’s a good thing that nopony asked you then!”
>”I dunno, Twi…” RD gave Twilight a thorough look as she rubbed her chin “I always believed that you have a very long neck, a very short muzzle and your wings are aligned in a very funny way… I’d say that average fits”

>Twilight blushed and raised her right front hoof up to a bend”I’m very happy with my “average” physique, thank you very much!” She then angrily turned to you “Anon, where are you going with all of this, anyway?!”
“Well… I was thinking that maybe it could be you the pony who has the lovely conversation with Blueblood”
>”WHAT?!” Twilight yelled in disgust as she stomped her hoof in the ground “ABSOLUTELY NOT!”
>”I’m disgusted to say this but I agree.” Eris rolled her eyes and chuckled “C’mon dork, think on what you’re sayin’. You really think that Purple has what it takes to charm a stallion? Puh-lease! We’d have more luck if we put a pink a dress on my old man”
>Twilight was now fuming with anger, she flew at Eris and screamed at her ”YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!”
>”Gotta give Eris a point here” RD shrugged “I don’t really care about this kind of things but c’mon, squirt. What would Twilight even talk about with Blueblood? Books and Math? Even I know that stuff will scare any stallion away”
>That comment made Twilight to flinch a little. She landed on the floor and looked at RD in utter disbelief ”What is this? “Make fun of Twilight” day or something?! Why can’t Anon speak with Blueblood instead?!”
“Because I’m not an incredibly good looking princess…”
>Eris raised her talon, interrupting you with a calm tone in her voice ”Average looking nerd”
>”With a weirdly long neck too” RD added
>You rolled your eyes and shook your head.
“Whatever… and the fact that Blueblood hates my guts it’s a big factor too. If I tried to speak to the guy he would probably spit on my face or something. We know that Blueblood really likes royalty and he really likes mares and not only that, he also tried to get me into this scheme to get him a date with Cadence”

>Twilight slapped her face and let out a groan in disgust ”Why would he even do that?! Cadence is happily married to my brother! Heck, they are waiting to have a baby! Anon, when did that happen? Does Cadence and Shining even know about it?!”
>You rubbed the back of your head and shrugged.
“Okay, in that order. Because he’s an idiot. I know right? He’s an idiot. It happened during one of my lessons with Moon Dancer where he kind of charmed her but then made Glasses to be utterly disgusted by him because he’s an idiot and finally… kinda? I told Cadence, she almost puked her guts out and then told me to just ignore it and not say anything to my bro not because he would totally send Blueblood to the hospital, but because the guy wasn’t worth it”
>Eris slowly rubbed her chin as she seductively raised an eyebrow ”I really like Candy-Candy’s style of ignoring dolts, classy with a spice of coldness. I’ll have to share tips with her next time I roll for a visit”
>”ERIS!” Twilight growled “THAT’S NOT THE POINT!”
>”Yeah!” RD nodded “The point is how we are gonna make Blueblood to look at Twilight in the first place.”
>Twilight furiously turned to her friend and yelled at her ”THAT’S NOT THE POINT EITHER!”
>Eris shook her head and replied to RD with a sarcastic tone ”Hello? Did you forget that we have two fashion professionals in the other room? Rarity and that other gal can make Purple to look semi-passable and I can use my magic to bring the finishes touches. Can’t guarantee she will look actually good though, so we just gotta give Blueblood a whole lotta cider beforehoof to do the trick. The problem here is how is Purple gonna actually charm the dude to make him give us what we want”

>”Aw, shucks!” RD kicked the ground and huffed in frustration “The moment she starts talking about the latest book on eggheadery it’s the moment when our whole operation goes down the drain. We HAVE to stop Twilight from acting like Twilight and man, that’s gonna be tough”
>That was a good point, and your mind already started to think on all the possibilities that could come from that.
>You started pacing back and forth, speaking in a rushed tone.
“There’s also another problem to take into account and that’s the fact that other ponies may want to want to have a long chat with Blueblood. Our plan depends on Blueblood focusing entirely on Twilight, so we absolutely have to prevent other guests from interrupting them”
>”AGH!” Twilight rubbed her temples, stomped her right front hoof on the ground and finally exploded “CAN ANYPONY LISTEN TO ME FOR A SECOND?! GEEZ!”
>Everyone, even Eris stood silent after that. You swore that Twilight coat became white and her mane burst into flames for a second. Even now, she was fuming with rage.
>You armed yourself with a lot of courage, gulped down your fears and replied with all the bravery you had.
“Uh… sure… why not”
>Twilight made that breathing exercise that she taught you before finally speaking ”I don’t like this plan, no… I actually HATE IT! I know what is at stake here but the idea of” She made a disgusted face and shuddered “Ugh… flirting with Blueblood just makes me feel icky…” Finally, Twilight’s ears dropped as she sighed and shook her head “I’m sorry but I don’t want to do this… I CAN’T do this!”
>Okay, you totally understood her. Seriously, you’d probably say the same if you were in Twilight’s position but… but you can’t let her to walk away. This plan was the best shot, no… the ONLY shot you had to get the information without lowering your standards to the level of a drunken Mexican cop.
“Twilight…”

>You let out a sigh and walked to her with a more understanding mentality… while also thinking on what you were gonna say to not blow everything up, as for Twilight… it hurt you to see her like this, but man, this plan was too important
“I know that our plan makes you feel uncomfortable, having to deal with Blueblood is a very unpleasant experience, that I’m very aware, but if we don’t get this information then we will not only lose our edge on Chrysalis but we’ll also risk innocent ponies to get captured and replaced by her troops.”
>You expected RD or even Eris to help you with this but nope! They were simply limiting themselves to watch. Way to go, team… geez.
>”Yeah, well…” Twilight looked away from you with a saddened expression in her face and shrugged “Why we don’t go with your plan B or C? Sure, we’ll have to get a little rough on Blueblood but at least I won’t have to do...” She sighed “what you want me to do”
>You sat by Twilight’s right side and gently pat her leg… because your hooves were too short to reach her back without touching risky places.
“Because we’re royalty. Twilight, you told me once that it is our duty to protect others not to harm them.”
>Twilight’s mood dropped even more as she said with a very miserable tone ”Yeah, but…”
“Listen, those backup plans are only for when the situation becomes dire and even then, I’d prefer to come up with something else. Blueblood may be an arrogant jerk but he’s still our subject his safety is a top priority just like anypony else. “

>”I know that! But…”
“But more importantly, let me ask you this, do you really care about being a princess?”
>”What kind of question is that?!” Twilight stood up and looked down at you with an annoyed glare “Of course I do!”
>You also stood up and looked at Twilight with a stern gaze
“Then I ask you Twilight Sparkle. What are you willing to do for those you sworn to guide and the land you sworn to protect? What are you willing to do in the name of friendship?!”
>Twilight flinched a bit, but she ultimately shook her head and stomped her hoof on the ground ”I’d do anything!”
“Then prove it! Not to me! Not to Eris! Not to RD! Prove to yourself that you have what it takes to live up to your title! That you are willing to protect Equestria no matter what!”
>Twilight closed her eyes for a couple seconds and then nodded with confidence to herself “I will! No matter how hard the challenge is, as long as my friends are with me, I can do it!”
>You couldn’t help but to smile at that, then you walked to a nearby chair, hopped on it and looked at RD and Eris.
“Great! Now, Eris, you are going to give Twilight your best advices on how to charm stallions. What she can and cannot say, how she has to approach Blueblood without looking like a creepy stalker, how she has to act, move, y’know, the whole thing.”
>”Considering it’s Purple we’re talking about, I dunno if that will be possible, but…” Eris rolled her eyes and shrugged “alright, dork. I’ll give it a try”
>You nodded at her and then continued
“RD, you and I are going to make sure that nopony interrupts Twilight while she gets the information out of Blueblood!”
>”Got it!” RD said with a salute
“As for you Twilight, get back with Rarity and so she can make you absolutely fabulous!”

>”Alright!” Twilight was now more confident than ever “I will do my best to protect Equestria and everypony I love and hold dear by flirting with Blueblood! Wait…” She then raised an eyebrow and looked at you with an empty stare “How in the hay did you manage to convince me about this? I swear that-“ But she was interrupted when RD pushed her from behind, making Twilight to yelp “GYAH!”
>”Sorry!” RD said as she pushed Twilight out of the backroom “But we have no time for second guesses!”
>”Wait!” Twilight was resisting at first but ultimately she gave up and said with regret “Owww! I already regret this!”
>”Call me impressed.” You heard Eris chuckling as she gently placed her paw on your head “Didn’t think you could ruse ponies like that, dork”
>You smirked and gave Eris an arrogant shrug
“I told you. I have my way with words. Still, feel bad for getting Twilight into all of this but… this had to be done. Now, what do you say if we go too? I really want to apologize with Rarity for being such a jerk with her”