You Can't Stump The Rump

You Can’t Stump the Rump
by David Spencer

Once upon a time it was time to take a stand
once upon a time in a place called Pigland
The nation was founded with minimal flaws
A nation with leaders, borders and laws

However, Pigland hadn’t been to great recently
They suffered enemy attacks and leaders low-energy
Their borders were broken and oft-infiltrated
And Pigland policies made them mocked and hated

And there was one issue weighing on many a pig's mind
And that was the trouble caused by canines

Now it should be mentioned, not all canines hurt hogs
You see, some canines were wolves while many were dogs
The dogs were cuddly, high class, first rate
They obeyed the laws and were quick to assimilate

The wolves, on the other hand were not the same case
They were intent on destroying the pig race
They were full of absolute vitriol and hate
They started a group called CS, the Canine State

So what was the problem facing the pig mind?
Pigs can’t tell the difference between the wolves vicious and dog benign

Now at this time in the piggy clan
They had to elect a new top-man
He was in charge of enforcing their laws
And protect the citizens both hoofed and pawed

During this time, there arose with a jump
A candidate for top-man, a piggy named Rump
He was great, a billionaire, he was the real deal
He sold buildings for a living and he wrote The Art of the Squeal

He came like a minister, ready to preach
He opened his mouth and made his speech
“we lose to the pandas, we’re being attacked by tacoland
and we suffer from a weak top-man”

“If I were in charge, things would be better
laws would be enforced down to the letter
In order to protect this nation from a fall
On our southern border I’ll build a great wall”

“I’ll stop the canines from coming, both wolves and pups
Because there’s nothing we can do to stop terrorism enough
I’ll make you once again proud to live in this nation
I promise to you, I’ll make pigland great again”

When he was finished with his magnificent speech
Newspapers come, to misinform and misteach
“RUMP SAYS HE WANTS ALL TACOLANDERS GONE”
“RUMP SAYS TO THE PIG RACE THE WHOLE WORLD BELONGS”

Some said, “Rump reminds me of a pig you might know
A pig who was top-man elsewhere, long ago
A pig so vicious, cruel, and evil
He practiced non kosher slaughter against six million people”

“Clearly the idea that Rump has in mind
Is to shoot those from Tacoland, and gas the Canine”

At this people got so incredibly scared
They attacked Rumps marriages,  clothing, and hair
But there was one thing they just couldn’t see
A misrepresentation of Rumps policy

So, Rump, being a pig who was skilled with a pen
Wrote a book called Crippled Pigland, and How to Make it Great Again
And after he published this wonderful book
Many decided that they’d take a look

“Hey, Rump just might be the smartest guy around
Looking at his policies, you can see they’re quite sound
He doesn’t hate Tacoland, or the Taco people
He hates the disproportionate number of cartels at the wheel”

“Stopping canine immigration makes sense to me
When there’s an international coalition that kills us as policy
He doesn’t want every single canine gone
He just wants to temporarily stop bringing more in until we figure out what’s going on”

“He doesn’t want tax breaks for the rich Wall Street shareholders
When his policy is 0% income tax for those who make under 25,000 dollars
The veterans will be well-off, and they definitely deserve it
For giving us freedom while they’re gunned down and hit”

“The way he was represented was so laughably off-kilter
He looks more Ghandi to me than like Hitler”
And as they realized that they had been conned
They asked themselves “How long have we let this go on”

“How long have we been thinking blindly like robots
With no way of formulating for ourselves our own thoughts?

The moral is simply don’t fall for liars
When getting your media check out the bias
Get educated, be in the know
And don’t believe anything just cause someone told you so
THE END