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- >You are the commander of an M1A2 Abrams.
- >Through your optics, you look over the battlefield.
- >Afghanistan? Nope.
- >Your four-tank platoon is parked on the Innerbelt Bridge, the part of I-90 that goes over the Cuyahoga.
- >You can see Progressive Field across the river.
- >It, like the rest of the city, is a wreck.
- >In a perfect world, this bridge would not actually be here right now.
- >Most of the bridges in Cleveland have been destroyed to prevent the fluffy plague from escaping.
- >Unfortunately, all the loud noises caused them to try fleeing anyway.
- >Their corpses have choked the river system, and now the area is flooding with a fetid brew of dead ponies and their unbelievably foul feces.
- >Northern Command changed their strategy; since the fluffies weren't bothering to use the bridges, no point in blowing them up anymore.
- >All the four lane bridges, like this one, and the Carnegie Avenue Bridge half a klick north and west of you, were spared bombing.
- >You're currently engaged in what 1st Armored Division calls a 'leak plugging' watch.
- >The four vehicles in your platoon are tasked with stopping any attempt by the fluffy ponies to escape the rising waters by using this bridge.
- >Backing you up are four Stryker Mobile Gun Systems from 3rd Battallion, 41st Infantry Regiment, an Army Stryker Brigade Combat Teams.
- >You continue to look around for activity.
- >”Damn, this is boring.”
- >That would be your gunner complaining, as usual.
- “I'd rather be deployed here than a place where the enemy actually shoots back.”
- >That shuts him up, at least for a second.
- >”Can't we just drive in there and run over the fucking things?”
- >There's not enough oil in Saudi Arabia to power this tank long enough to run over nine-plus million fluffy ponies.
- >On the radio, you hear the platoon commander, a Second Lieutenant right out of West Point, ask for a report.
- “No targets in sight on I-90.”
- >A few moments later, you hear that the tanks on Carnegie Avenue are engaging fluffies.
- >You look through the optics again.
- >Sure enough, a multicolored, living glacier is slowly making its way toward your position.
- >”Man, I wanna go home.”
- “Stop flapping your lips and get the sights on those ponies.”
- >With a groan, the gunner begins actually doing his job.
- >A white fluffy pony with a rainbow mane catches your attention.
- >It's at the head of the pack; perhaps it's the leader.
- “You see that one with the rainbow hair?”
- >”Yeah, got the reticle on him now.”
- >You call down to the loader.
- “Canister.”
- >He grabs a shell off the rack, pushes it into the open breech with his fist, then closes the breech block.
- >”Round up!” he yells back.
- >You belay giving the command to fire until the fuzzy blob closes the distance a bit more.
- >You can't use high explosive, you might damage the bridge.
- >Instead, the loader's put an M1028 into the gun.
- >They're just about to begin crossing the bridge, almost two hundred meters away.
- >Close enough.
- “Fire!”
- >The tank rocks as the gunner fires the gun, producing a solid thunk that vibrates both you and your crew.
- >You watch through the optics.
- >The fluffies barely have time to react to the noise, panicking and running in frightened circles.
- >A large chunk of them suddenly disappear into a red cloud.
- >The round just fired is a fragmenting canister full of over a thousand tungsten balls, ten millimeters in diameter.
- >They fan out into a cone as they fly at a thousand meters a second.
- >They could go through a Humvee; fluffy ponies offer barely more resistance than air.
- >You detect three more thunks as the other tanks in your platoon fire.
- >The fluffies are terrified, but they seem unwilling to go back.
- >Probably scared of drowning. They've surely seen the piles of corpses in the rivers.
- >You can see them talking as they run around helplessly, but you've no idea what they're saying.
- >Doesn't matter; time to shut a few more of them up permanently.
- “Canister!”
- >The round goes into the gun. The gunner picks a distinctive fluffy.
- >The gun goes thunk, and that fluffy, along with several hundred of its friends, ceases to be.
- >The dumb little bastards have no idea what's happening.
- >Instead of turning away from the loud noises and the bloody smears that used to be other fluffies, they run at full speed toward your platoon.
- “Fire at will!”
- >You hear smaller reports as the Strykers begin firing their 105s.
- >They too have canister rounds, a design hastily scaled down from the 120s your tank uses.
- >Each time you hear a gun go off, you see a cloud of red tear through the massive herd.
- >They don't have any idea what to do, so they run.
- >They're still coming.
- >You cannot fire fast enough.
- “We're gonna get overwhelmed!”
- >You hear the Lieutenant call brigade headquarters for support.
- >They call back and grant it.
- “Driver, reverse. Gunner, keep firing.”
- >Your tank platoon begins to retreat slowly, still shooting.
- >The Strykers, having automatically loaded cannons, provide 'covering' fire while you move.
- >You're backing up because you don't want to die in the upcoming fire.
- >As you move, you decide to open the hatch and get a good view of the show.
- >Fluff ponies are backed up forever on the other side of the river.
- >It takes about ten minutes before you see the F-16s coming from the south.
- >By now, everyone's backed way up, including the Strykers. You're at least three hundred meters from the bridge.
- >With the loud noises having stopped, the fluffies are confident enough to try crossing the bridge in an orderly fashion.
- >They stream across just as the F-16s drop their payload.
- >The Mark 77 bombs plow into the fluffy clump and detonate.
- >A few fluffies go flying through the air. They're the lucky ones.
- >The rest are engulfed in a mixture of kerosene, white phosphorus, and a classified oxidizing agent.
- >They burst into flames immediately.
- >You watch them burn through a pair of binoculars.
- >You can just barely hear the pops of exploding fluffy ponies.
- >Even some of the Stryker crews have gotten out to watch.
- >The fire is what finally breaks the will of the herd to press on; you can see the ones in the back start waddling into the city.
- >They've decided drowning is better than catching on fire.
- >You all stick around to make sure the fire doesn't get too far out of control.
- >The flames exhaust the screaming, crying fuel fairly quickly.
- >It's not windy, but you check for floating embers, as well as damage to the bridge.
- >Doesn't look too bad, at least not from here.
- >Maybe the stench of burned fluffy flesh will keep them from trying to cross here again.
- >Actually, it kind of smells like an MRE, and you're hungry.
- >You duck back into the turret and ask the loader where he's stowed them.
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