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Fall of Cleveland: Tanks For the Memories

Aug 4th, 2012
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  1. >You are the commander of an M1A2 Abrams.
  2. >Through your optics, you look over the battlefield.
  3. >Afghanistan? Nope.
  4. >Your four-tank platoon is parked on the Innerbelt Bridge, the part of I-90 that goes over the Cuyahoga.
  5. >You can see Progressive Field across the river.
  6. >It, like the rest of the city, is a wreck.
  7. >In a perfect world, this bridge would not actually be here right now.
  8. >Most of the bridges in Cleveland have been destroyed to prevent the fluffy plague from escaping.
  9. >Unfortunately, all the loud noises caused them to try fleeing anyway.
  10. >Their corpses have choked the river system, and now the area is flooding with a fetid brew of dead ponies and their unbelievably foul feces.
  11. >Northern Command changed their strategy; since the fluffies weren't bothering to use the bridges, no point in blowing them up anymore.
  12. >All the four lane bridges, like this one, and the Carnegie Avenue Bridge half a klick north and west of you, were spared bombing.
  13. >You're currently engaged in what 1st Armored Division calls a 'leak plugging' watch.
  14. >The four vehicles in your platoon are tasked with stopping any attempt by the fluffy ponies to escape the rising waters by using this bridge.
  15. >Backing you up are four Stryker Mobile Gun Systems from 3rd Battallion, 41st Infantry Regiment, an Army Stryker Brigade Combat Teams.
  16. >You continue to look around for activity.
  17. >”Damn, this is boring.”
  18. >That would be your gunner complaining, as usual.
  19. “I'd rather be deployed here than a place where the enemy actually shoots back.”
  20. >That shuts him up, at least for a second.
  21. >”Can't we just drive in there and run over the fucking things?”
  22. >There's not enough oil in Saudi Arabia to power this tank long enough to run over nine-plus million fluffy ponies.
  23. >On the radio, you hear the platoon commander, a Second Lieutenant right out of West Point, ask for a report.
  24. “No targets in sight on I-90.”
  25. >A few moments later, you hear that the tanks on Carnegie Avenue are engaging fluffies.
  26. >You look through the optics again.
  27. >Sure enough, a multicolored, living glacier is slowly making its way toward your position.
  28. >”Man, I wanna go home.”
  29. “Stop flapping your lips and get the sights on those ponies.”
  30. >With a groan, the gunner begins actually doing his job.
  31. >A white fluffy pony with a rainbow mane catches your attention.
  32. >It's at the head of the pack; perhaps it's the leader.
  33. “You see that one with the rainbow hair?”
  34. >”Yeah, got the reticle on him now.”
  35. >You call down to the loader.
  36. “Canister.”
  37. >He grabs a shell off the rack, pushes it into the open breech with his fist, then closes the breech block.
  38. >”Round up!” he yells back.
  39. >You belay giving the command to fire until the fuzzy blob closes the distance a bit more.
  40. >You can't use high explosive, you might damage the bridge.
  41. >Instead, the loader's put an M1028 into the gun.
  42. >They're just about to begin crossing the bridge, almost two hundred meters away.
  43. >Close enough.
  44. “Fire!”
  45. >The tank rocks as the gunner fires the gun, producing a solid thunk that vibrates both you and your crew.
  46. >You watch through the optics.
  47. >The fluffies barely have time to react to the noise, panicking and running in frightened circles.
  48. >A large chunk of them suddenly disappear into a red cloud.
  49. >The round just fired is a fragmenting canister full of over a thousand tungsten balls, ten millimeters in diameter.
  50. >They fan out into a cone as they fly at a thousand meters a second.
  51. >They could go through a Humvee; fluffy ponies offer barely more resistance than air.
  52. >You detect three more thunks as the other tanks in your platoon fire.
  53. >The fluffies are terrified, but they seem unwilling to go back.
  54. >Probably scared of drowning. They've surely seen the piles of corpses in the rivers.
  55. >You can see them talking as they run around helplessly, but you've no idea what they're saying.
  56. >Doesn't matter; time to shut a few more of them up permanently.
  57. “Canister!”
  58. >The round goes into the gun. The gunner picks a distinctive fluffy.
  59. >The gun goes thunk, and that fluffy, along with several hundred of its friends, ceases to be.
  60. >The dumb little bastards have no idea what's happening.
  61. >Instead of turning away from the loud noises and the bloody smears that used to be other fluffies, they run at full speed toward your platoon.
  62. “Fire at will!”
  63. >You hear smaller reports as the Strykers begin firing their 105s.
  64. >They too have canister rounds, a design hastily scaled down from the 120s your tank uses.
  65. >Each time you hear a gun go off, you see a cloud of red tear through the massive herd.
  66. >They don't have any idea what to do, so they run.
  67. >They're still coming.
  68. >You cannot fire fast enough.
  69. “We're gonna get overwhelmed!”
  70. >You hear the Lieutenant call brigade headquarters for support.
  71. >They call back and grant it.
  72. “Driver, reverse. Gunner, keep firing.”
  73. >Your tank platoon begins to retreat slowly, still shooting.
  74. >The Strykers, having automatically loaded cannons, provide 'covering' fire while you move.
  75. >You're backing up because you don't want to die in the upcoming fire.
  76. >As you move, you decide to open the hatch and get a good view of the show.
  77. >Fluff ponies are backed up forever on the other side of the river.
  78. >It takes about ten minutes before you see the F-16s coming from the south.
  79. >By now, everyone's backed way up, including the Strykers. You're at least three hundred meters from the bridge.
  80. >With the loud noises having stopped, the fluffies are confident enough to try crossing the bridge in an orderly fashion.
  81. >They stream across just as the F-16s drop their payload.
  82. >The Mark 77 bombs plow into the fluffy clump and detonate.
  83. >A few fluffies go flying through the air. They're the lucky ones.
  84. >The rest are engulfed in a mixture of kerosene, white phosphorus, and a classified oxidizing agent.
  85. >They burst into flames immediately.
  86. >You watch them burn through a pair of binoculars.
  87. >You can just barely hear the pops of exploding fluffy ponies.
  88. >Even some of the Stryker crews have gotten out to watch.
  89. >The fire is what finally breaks the will of the herd to press on; you can see the ones in the back start waddling into the city.
  90. >They've decided drowning is better than catching on fire.
  91. >You all stick around to make sure the fire doesn't get too far out of control.
  92. >The flames exhaust the screaming, crying fuel fairly quickly.
  93. >It's not windy, but you check for floating embers, as well as damage to the bridge.
  94. >Doesn't look too bad, at least not from here.
  95. >Maybe the stench of burned fluffy flesh will keep them from trying to cross here again.
  96. >Actually, it kind of smells like an MRE, and you're hungry.
  97. >You duck back into the turret and ask the loader where he's stowed them.
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