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- >Your rather small, dim office is illuminated only by the single desklight shining down on the plethora of notes and paperwork resting on your desk, cutting through the midnight darkness.
- >You loosen up your tie and scratch your messy stubble, opting not to reach for your coffee for a third time this minute, studying over the collected evidence once more.
- >Whoever this p0ny is, she's taunting you.
- >Leaving behind such obvious clues the P0nyville Police Department just can't seem to wrap its head around.
- >You grunt, pushing your notepad to the side, and pick up the reports once more.
- >...Nothing.
- >You have nothing on her.
- >Nothing that doesn't lead to a dead end.
- >Even that calling card of hers...
- >Your eyes trail to the corner of your desk.
- >...No, you don't need to study that over any more.
- >It's not giving you any useful information.
- >You sigh, and reach for the folders, looking over the autopsy reports.
- >Your eyes scan over the black-and-white pictures of the crime scene.
- >White outlines in the shape of stallions.
- >Cause of death...?
- >...
- >You place the folder back down.
- >You give in, and grab your coffee once more, talking a gulp.
- >These past few nights have been hell...
- >You heave another deep sigh...
- >...
- >There's a knock on your office door.
- >"Detective Anonymous?" a voice calls, the door creaking open, allowing just a crack of light to shine through.
- >One of the p0nies on the force.
- Yes, Officer?
- >"...There's been another report."
- >You sit, stern and solemn.
- ...Is it linked to the others?
- >The officer shakes his head.
- >"That has yet to be determined. We need you down there, Detective."
- >You stay silent, but nod.
- >You rise from your desk.
- >The officer p0ny seems relieved.
- >"It's storming out, be sure to grab your hat and coat," he says, before closing the door.
- >You stare out the window for a moment, then move to the clothing rack in the corner of the office.
- Jesus Christ...
- >You mutter, putting on your brown trench coat and resting your fedora on your head.
- >You grab your gun and badge from your desk, and leave the office without another sound.
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX4RJu3Whks
- >The rain beats and barrages the cobblestone path of P0nyville.
- >With your hands in your coat pocket, you hike your shoulders up and soldier though the wet storm.
- >It pelts your coat and hat, generating an almost white-noise sound, but your hat does a nice job of keeping your head and face dry.
- >The officer p0ny in front of you glances back to see how you're doing.
- >He knows how hard you've been pushing yourself.
- >"Any chance I can interest you in this umbrella?" he shouts over the noise of the rain, holding it up in the air for emphasis.
- >You smirk, to humor him.
- Be a little small for me, don't you think?
- >He lets out a single breathy laugh.
- I'm fine, thanks.
- >"If you say so, Detective."
- >He turns back around, focused on guiding you two to your destination.
- >Your shoes splash in the shallow puddles, down the streets of the town, and around into a small section of houses.
- >Through the rain, you can see the yellow caution tape and slight bustle of other police ponies.
- >"Well, here we are," he says.
- >You nod.
- >As you approach the house, two officers step in your way, but a quick flash of your badge gives them the authority to usher you in.
- >Not that you really needed to prove who you were.
- >You're the only human in all of Equestria.
- >You go up the patio steps and into the house, taking off your hat and tapping it against the wall to rid the water.
- Alright,
- >You say, slipping off your trenchcoat, hanging it up on the clothing rack generously provided by the force,
- what have we got?
- >You slip on your latex gloves and look into the room.
- >Several p0nies are bustling around.
- >The forensic team, it seems.
- >Swabbing the doors and objects around the house for hoofprints.
- >There lies a white outline of a p0ny on the ground.
- Body already taken for an autopsy?
- >You ask, approaching the late stallion's chalk mark.
- >"Yes," one of the officers responds, "a Mr. Time Turner. We're waiting for the official word, but..."
- >He clears his throat.
- >"Well, um... we already have a general idea of how it happened."
- >You sigh, looking to the ceiling and bending your back.
- >You exhale.
- ...Rape-induced homicide... right?
- >The officers look to each other, then you.
- >And nod.
- >You nod in response slowly.
- Another one, it seems...
- >You mutter, squatting down to the lines.
- >"Yes, Detective. We... we even found a calling card at the scene recently..."
- >The officer hands a small piece of thick paper to you.
- >You know this card all too well.
- >You take it in between your fingers, and bring it into your eyes' view.
- >A blank, white surface.
- >With only one word printed on it.
- >"Yay."
- >With a sigh, you hand the card back.
- Anything on the body?
- >You observe the chalk outline with more detail.
- >It perfectly captures a p0ny lying on his side.
- >The head.
- >Four hooves.
- >...This one's got a little extra appendage, it seems.
- >By his hind legs.
- >Looks like it could be... some kind of eel.
- >Probably black.
- >Maybe glistening.
- >"Nothing we could use, Detective. The culprit wiped him clean."
- >You scratch your stubble.
- Just like the others...
- >You say to yourself under your breath.
- >You look over the line once more.
- >This little extra appendage is something the other stallions didn't have on them.
- >Positioning, probably.
- >Or Mr. Turner just kept it up a little longer after death.
- >The chalk mark itself houses a...
- >...Hold on...
- >You reach your fingers over, dabbing them into the extra appendage outline, feeling a damp, moist substance.
- >You bring it back, close to your face, observing it.
- >The officer p0ny you were talking to takes notice.
- >You press your fingers together, then apart, mentally taking note of the consistency of it.
- >...This ain't stallion sperm.
- Boys...
- >You say, a little louder than your average indoor voice.
- I think we've got something.
- >The other officers stop what they're doing, and glance to you.
- >"What is it, Detective?"
- >You wipe the substance on your pants, then point to the part of the outline you discovered it.
- I think we got some mare juice over here.
- >Everyone stays silent for a moment.
- >You stand back up and cross your arms, eyes still on the forensic prize.
- >That's one of the reasons you make such a good detective here.
- >You have a much sharper eye than they.
- >A forensic p0ny trots over.
- >"R-Really?" he asks, gazing to the spot.
- >He notices.
- >"Oh my..."
- >You crack a smile.
- Looks like our serial rapist just made one serious mistake.
- >The other p0nies smile, and look to each other approvingly.
- >The forensic p0ny levitates over a cotton swab, dabbing the juice generously, then placing the sample in a sealed baggie.
- >"I'll get this over to the lab immediately!" he says with enthusiasm.
- >You pat him on the back.
- Well, let's pray we get some results we can work with.
- >You look back around the room.
- >Now... is there anything else you can find?
- >You glance back down to the chalk outline.
- >...Nothing else seems to stick out.
- >...Well, you already found the jackpot here.
- >You glance up across the room, where a small crowd of other p0nies is gathered.
- >Knocked over furniture and dug up carpet decorates the area.
- >You walk slowly over, observing the p0nies do their job.
- Scene of a struggle?
- >You ask, looking to the various disturbed objects in the household.
- >A p0ny looks up to you, then back to his dusting.
- >"We believe so. Signs seem to point to it."
- >You nod.
- Find anything useful?
- >He shakes his head.
- >"No. Not as of yet, anyway."
- Alright... alright...
- >You figure you should give the area a quick scan.
- >You've already got a potential DNA-matching piece of evidence, but if you can find more, that only improves your chances of catching this mare.
- >Your eyes move to the various pieces of knocked-over furniture.
- >...Nothing out of the ordinary here.
- >Easily movable, and most likely bumped out of the way.
- >But what of this...?
- >You squat down to the torn-up carpet.
- >This suggests a serious fight.
- >Carpet doesn't tear away all that easy.
- >Hooves must have really dug their way into it or something.
- >Your eyes trail over the destroyed mess.
- >...Wait a minute, what's this...?
- >A very small, easily miss-able piece of something catches your eye.
- >Embedded into the carpet.
- >You reach down with your index finger and thumb, pinching the object in question, and bring it to your face.
- >It's... yellow.
- >And fur-like...
- >...Could this be fur?
- >You concentrate.
- >...No, you don't think so.
- >The consistency isn't right...
- >But it sure does look like it...
- >...A part of some fabric?
- >Or the torn-off piece of a feather...?
- >Feather... could you be dealing with a pegasus?
- Hey.
- >You call, grabbing the attention again of the p0nies around you.
- What do you make of this?
- >You hold up your fingers, revealing the yellow object to the team.
- >One p0ny levitates it from your hand, and observes it closely.
- >"...I can't tell, Detective," he says. But he brings out a baggie anyway, "but do you want me to bring it to the lab?"
- >You nod, and stand back to your feet.
- Wouldn't hurt, right?
- >He shakes his head.
- >"Absolutely not."
- >He bags it, and you two walk back across the room.
- >"This is fantastic," he starts, "we have way more on her this time, we may actually be able to catch this rapist."
- >You nod.
- Wouldn't that be nice, huh?
- >You sigh.
- With my experience, it's never that easy... but this is far better than any other time for sure.
- >The forensic p0ny pats you on the back.
- >"Well, we've got you to thank for that, Detective Anonymous."
- >You glance to him, and let out a single chuckle.
- >"Why don't you head home? We should be able to take things from here."
- >You glance longingly out the window, into the stormy streets of P0nyville, rain still peppering the town.
- >"We all know how hard you've been working on this."
- >You rub under your chin, and sigh.
- Yeah... maybe. I could use some sleep.
- >The p0ny smiles.
- >"That a boy. Go rest up, and we'll see you tomorrow. We should have the results back on those two new pieces of evidence by then."
- >You nod, and shake his hoof goodbye.
- >You take off your gloves and trash them, and slide your trenchcoat back on.
- >You place your fedora on in preparation of the rain, and step outside, a low roll of thunder rumbling as you make your way back home.
- >*RIIING* *RIIING*
- >You groan, and roll in bed a few times.
- >*RIIING* *RIIING*
- >Not now...
- >You force open your eyes, and glance at the clock.
- >3:30am.
- >Come on...
- >*RIIING* *RIIING*
- >Your damn work phone...
- >What could they want you for?
- >They just sent you home...
- >The bastards must be hopeless...
- >You shuffle over, still lying down, snug under the covers, and slap your hand down on the portable telephone.
- >*RIIING* RII-beep*
- Detective Anonymous...
- >You mumble, still half asleep.
- >"...H-Hello..."
- >...Ughhh.
- >You don't immediately recognize this voice.
- >You roll back over, resting your head on your pillow.
- Yes, what would you like?
- >"..."
- >...
- Hello?
- >"H-Hello... I j-just want to... to talk..."
- >...This doesn't sound like anyone on the force.
- >You don't recognize this female voice.
- >...Is this... is this Twilight?
- >...
- >That mare has been giving you nothing but trouble.
- >Harassing you ever since you came.
- >Nice mare, but... a little obsessive.
- Twilight, if this is you, may I remind you this is a police phone, and illegal for you to be using?
- >There's a small silence.
- >"O-Oh, I'm n-not... Twilight Sparkle..."
- >You groan.
- Look, whoever this is, it's not funny. Colgate, if it's you, that promotion doesn't allow you to--
- >"N-Not Colgate..."
- >You sigh.
- >It has to be SOMEONE from work.
- Look... what do you want?
- >"N-Not much... I just... w-want th-that... [spoiler]hot monkey dick...[/spoiler]
- >...
- >You sit up immediately in bed.
- Who is this?
- >You demand, standing up in the dark room.
- >You spread the blinds apart and peer outside.
- >Nothing.
- >"Y-You don't need to w-worry about th-that, mister..."
- >You walk across the room to your light switch.
- I think I do. I think it's my business to know who you are.
- >You flick up the light switch.
- >But the lights don't turn on.
- >Damn it!
- >"N-No... it's none of your... your b-business..."
- >You take long strides over to your bedside drawer, pulling out your handgun.
- Look,
- >You say, gripping the pistol and glancing around the room.
- you're dealing with an officer here. It would be wise to cease what you're doing.
- >There's a small giggle.
- >"Not til I g-get what I w-want..."
- >...
- And that's...?
- >"..."
- >...
- >"You."
- >You practically kick open your bedroom door, pointing your handgun down one end of the hall, then the other.
- Where are you, you son of a bitch?
- >She laughs over the phone.
- >"Y-You won't know t-til it matters, big b-boy..."
- >You peer into every dark corner of the upstairs hallway.
- Tell me, or so help me God...
- >"I'll g-give you a hint..."
- >You stop in your tracks, your hands beginning to sweat.
- >You focus on the call.
- >"...Th-Those are some n-nice boxers y-you're wearing..."
- >You can feel every drop of blood freeze in your veins.
- >"R-Rarity's cutie mark m-makes a nice design..."
- >You breathe heavy, pointing your weapon in every direction.
- Where are you!?
- >You kick open the bathroom door.
- WHERE ARE YOU!?
- >Nothing.
- SHOW YOURSELF, YOU COWARD!
- >She laughs manically through the phone.
- >She loves to see you rustled.
- >You glance down your stairs, into the pitch-black abyss that is your first floor.
- >You place a foot down on the first step, and slowly begin descending.
- >"A-Are you sure you w-want to do that...?"
- >...You aren't.
- >At all.
- >You try to calm down, focusing on your breathing.
- >If you fly off the handle, she wins.
- >Keep it cool, Anonymous.
- >Your eyes slowly begin to adjust to the darkness, the various shapes and objects in the room becoming slightly clearer.
- >She giggles once more.
- >"Y-You're so cute..."
- >You land on the main floor, and glance around.
- Alright... you're around here somewhere.
- >Stepping around the corner, you peer into the kitchen.
- >"Hee hee~. N-Not there..."
- >You dart your head around, looking behind you.
- >Nothing...
- >You step slowly into the living room, handgun aimed in front of you.
- >"Oh my...~. You l-look so tough..."
- Shut up.
- You glance around every corner of the room.
- >But nop0ny is seen anywhere.
- >Where the hell could this mare be!?
- >She laughs once more.
- >"You're aaaall~ mine..."
- >That voice sends a chill up your spine.
- >...Come on, Anonymous...
- >You're a detective...
- >Detect her!
- >Your eyes flail around.
- >Where could she--
- >*...drip...*
- >...
- >What was that...?
- >...*drip*
- >You raise an eyebrow, and turn around.
- >Glancing to your left and right quickly, you--
- >*drip*
- >...There.
- >On the ground.
- >You walk up to it...
- >A small, small puddle on your hardwood floor.
- >...You slowly crouch down to it...
- >...And place your fingers in it.
- >...Bringing it to your face, you press your fingers together, then apart, observing the consistency.
- >...
- >Oh, shit... this is--
- >*Drip,* a drop splashes into the puddle.
- >!!!
- >You dart your head straight up.
- >A yellow p0ny drops down from the ceiling.
- >She crashes right down on top of you, with enough force to knock you over.
- >Your phone and pistol fly from your hands, sliding across the living room floor.
- >She pins down your wrists with her heavy hooves, and pierces you with her eyes.
- >Such crazy, insane, maniacal eyes.
- >She smiles a devilish, toothy grin.
- >"You're going to love me...!" she mutters.
- >You grit your teeth, and push upward with your hands as hard as you can.
- >You groan with strain.
- Get... the hell... off'a me!
- >But she's stronger than she seems, keeping your arms in place.
- >She laughs.
- >"You're hot monkey dick is aaaall~ mine..."
- >You wince at this.
- The hell it is!
- >Her tail starts swishing between your legs, dabbing and teasing your member.
- >Oh hell no!
- >You struggle once more, trying your best to throw her off on you.
- >But once again, her strength prevails over you.
- >She laughs.
- >"J-Just give it up..."
- >She says, strangely soothingly.
- >But you refuse.
- >You keep going.
- >You won't let yourself fall victim!
- >She smiles, then glances to your face.
- >"Ooooh~" she coos, glancing to your lips.
- >"I wonder how those would feel..."
- >...What?
- >Is she thinking of... kissing you?
- >What kind of mad bitch is this?
- >She leans in, attempting to bring her yellow, equine mouth to yours.
- >She leans a little too far, mis-distributing her weight.
- >!!
- >Now!
- >You cock back with your legs, bumping her off-balance with her knees.
- >She falls forward a bit, losing grip on your wrists, and you use this opportunity to grab her.
- >With this, you press upward, flinging her up and over you, crashing into the ground behind you.
- >You use this break to bolt to your feet immediately.
- >Good!
- >You glance around for your handgun.
- >Shit! Where did it--
- >She screams, and flies with great speed at your back, latching on.
- >You stumble forward, and grip her hooves tightly, which are wrapped around your neck.
- >She starts peppering it with kisses.
- >You cry out in frustration, and nearly fall over.
- >Spinning around, you try to shake her off.
- >But she's latched on good!
- >You turn around toward your wall, and with all your might and weight, crash her into it.
- >She wails out in pain.
- >You load back up and crash her once more.
- >You can hear the drywall crack.
- >Once more, you step up, and slam her hard into the wall.
- >With a cry of anguish, her hoof grip on your neck loosens.
- >As quickly as you can, you use your tight grip on her to swing her up and over your head, slamming her devastatingly into the ground in front of you.
- >She hits so hard she does a bounce, up and down, onto the floor, stunned with shock and pain.
- >Quickly, you dart your eyes around the room.
- >...There!
- >Under the dining table!
- >You bolt as quickly as you can over, diving your hand between the chairs and table.
- >You can hear her stumble to her hooves, and exhale angrily.
- >You feel around.
- >Come on... come on!
- >You can hear her approaching.
- >Come on!!
- >You feel the grip of your handgun with your finger.
- >There!
- >With one wide open-palm swat, you press down on your gun and whip it around.
- FREEZE!
- >It stops just short of her face, freezing her in place.
- >Her eyes peer down at the barrel of the gun, and she backs up just a bit.
- >Her pupils shrunk with fear.
- >You breathe heavily, and stand to your feet, keeping your eye and gun on her.
- Don't... move...
- >You walk to the other side of the room and grab the phone from under the coffee table.
- >Your salvation...
- >She winces as you press the buttons, but dares not move so long as that weapon is pointed at her.
- ...Chief? ...Yeah. It's Detective Anonymous... You and the boys might want to head over to my place.
- >The blue and red lights flash and shimmer, lighting up your house through the windows.
- >One of the officers brings you a cup of coffee, which you gladly accept.
- >You take a sip.
- >"...You alright, Detective?" he asks.
- >You nod, glancing out your window to the patrol chariot.
- >You can see the culprit, hoofcuffed and wingcuffed, escorted and locked inside.
- >...Fluttershy is her name.
- >You take another sip.
- Yeah... yeah, I'm fine. Just a little shaken up, that's all.
- >The officer smiles, and joins you in your gaze outside.
- >Fluttershy looks beyond pissed.
- >"Crazy, huh?"
- >You raise an eyebrow and look to the officer.
- >"Working so long on this case, so hard, so many sleepless nights... the bitch decides to make you her next target."
- >You nod.
- Makes you wonder.
- >He looks to you, and nods.
- >"And this attempt of hers... to the person working so hard to catch her... marks her downfall."
- >You nod once more, and take another sip.
- >"At least it's finally over."
- Yeah. Finally.
- >You both sigh, satisfied.
- >"So," he says, bringing out some paperwork, "now that I see you're in fine condition, I figure we can go over some things..."
- >You look to him quizzically.
- >"Standard for this kind of thing is a week off..." he reads, "that should give you enough time to recuperate from the emotional--"
- >You interrupt him by pouring the rest of your coffee onto his paperwork.
- >He drops it in surprise, the soaked brown documents squelching onto the hardwood floor.
- I don't have time for your bullshit,
- >You smile.
- I have work in the morning.
- >The officer looks to his papers, then you, in disbelief.
- >Then... laughs.
- >He holds up his hoof.
- >"Good to have you, Detective."
- >You laugh too.
- >And shake it.
- Good to be here.
- The End.
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