Night Rain: Chapter Ten "Hard Rain"

“Nurse, please don’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I said so and you don’t have the grounds to act otherwise without my consent.”
The fun was smothered in his eyes by a solemn ferocity I didn’t think him capable of.
“Aiko…don’t make me go down this path.”
“I’m walking out now, Nurse. Have a good day.”
“Aiko…”
The anger in his voice was menacing, almost inhuman.
“I said good day.”
It took every nerve I had to walk out that door to an anxious Megumi.
“Well?”
“Megumi, this is n-not the time.”
“Aiko?”
I can’t look her in the face. I can’t look anyone in the face right now. A light shower begins to roll in as the distant thunder merges with the Nurse’s voice coming from inside. The teardrop rain mixes with my own. I just can’t handle things today. I want to break down.
There’s a secluded spot I can see near the dorms. The rain falls harder, faster than I expected. Let it fall. Wash away my iniquities and my doubts. Would that I could let the seas rise up and swallow me whole.
I never really liked being with people. They’re unreliable. They hurt you when you aren’t looking. Like at my old school. They feigned affection while plotting treachery. I can’t be myself with anyone.
“AIKO!”
No, please. Don’t you fucking find me. Not like this. You already had your heroine moment when I was out cold. Just leave me be, please. I don’t want you.
“AIKO!”
I should have known. The time I have ever needed for myself was always stolen away by others, thinking they were helping. Leave me alone.
“AIKO! NURSE SAYS WE NEED TO TAKE YOU TO A HOSPITAL! YOU MIGHT HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE!”
A likely story. He just wants to rape and defile me. Like the other girls here. I’m surprised no one has spoken out against him. The way he forces himself upon innocent girls. The horror they must have gone through. He was so eager to get in my pants. And I thought he was a gentleman.
“AIKO! PLEASE! YOU MIGHT DIE!”
Maybe that’s what I want, b-baka. To stop worrying. To be free from obligations and pressure. Maybe I’ve wanted to die all along and never knew it. That’s why I wanted it so badly, coming to Yamaku. Maybe I could catch a disease and die.
No.
Not that again.
“AIKO!”
Why haven’t you given up already, Megumi? I haven’t answered by now so I’m either not here or unconscious.
Wait, am I unconscious? I haven’t moved in some time…wait, never mind, I’m hiding.
God, I’m such a fucking idiot. I should see if Megumi is still out there looking for me. Which shouldn’t be too hard, considering she’s in a giant fucking wheelchair. Oh, there she is.
“Megumi…”
“Aiko! Hurry! We need to g-“
“I’m not going back.”
“Why not? Hey, are you alright?”
“No, Megu-“
“Aiko?”
“Your eyes…”
“Oh yeah. I have heterochromia.”
“I didn’t notice before.”
They’re beautiful, really. Her left eye is the brightest shade of red. As if made of pure neon. Her right eye, however, is dark. Black as darkest night, as the pits of hell themselves. Together, it’s a metaphorical anomaly: seeing the light and dark in the world.
“You were saying something, Aiko?”
“Oh, um…I’m not going back.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t go back there, Megumi. It won’t make me better. It won’t fix me. He’ll either tell me nothing was wrong or ship me off somewhere else. He just wants me for my b-body.”
Silence, save for the thundering rain crashing around us.
“Aiko…do you seriously believe the Nurse wants to molest you?”
“I see no reason to think otherwise.”
“What in the flying fuck. If he was molesting anyone, it would be Ibarazaki. They’re practically dating anyway, all the time they spend together. You’re not alright, are you Aiko?”
“No, Megumi, I am not.”
“We need to get you help.”
“There is no help, Megumi. Not for me.”
“You don’t know that for certain, now do you?”
“No.”
“So how can you say what does or does not exist?”
“I sure as hell haven’t found it.”
“Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Just because you don’t see something doesn’t mean it isn’t there.”
“True, but…”
“But nothing. You just want to give up, don’t you? Throw in the damn towel and resign yourself to a nameless, thoughtless fate. That’s really selfish, Aiko.”
“I know.”
“Are you crying?”
“No, b-baka, it’s just raining.”
“Well why would you think so much of only yourself?”
“Shouldn’t someone look out for me and my interests?”
“Yes.”
“And shouldn’t that someone be a person who knows what those interests are?”
“Yes.”
“So who better to do that than me?”
“Don’t you trust other people to be considerate?”
“No. The people I’ve met at best barely knew me.”
“At worst?”
“At worst, they raped my soul and left me for dead.”
“You’re being overdramatic.”
“Only slightly. That’s the scary part.”
“You…you actually believe that…”
“Because it happened. I’d rather not share now.”
“I…I just don’t understand. Why would you let yourself get hurt so often? At some point, wouldn’t you just avoid those people?”
“I used to think it was so I could find people who would want to save me. No one ever came.”
“Oh, Aiko…”
“So now you pity me?”
“No, Aiko, I-“
“Don’t try and be my friend, Megumi. I refuse to be hurt again.”
“Aiko! You barely know me! How can you assume I’m going to hurt you?”
“How do I know you won’t?”
The lightning in the sky crackles, breaking the heavy tension in the air, almost jolting me back to life.
“You have to let me in, Aiko.”
“Pfffft, like what, like liking me?”
“Well…”
Her blush confirms my suspicions.
“You’re a lesbian.”
“N-no! Just curious, is all…I shouldn’t have-“
It’s too adorable. I have to shut her up. With a kiss. It won’t mean anything to her, right?
Tastes like tofu. Will have to work on that. Now to play it off with a ploy I learned from American television.
“Aiko…”
“Shush, now, darlin’. Don’t y’all worry ya little head one mo’ bit, y’hear?”
No one can resist an American Southern Belle.
“Bwaaaaaaaah.”
Not sure if she’s drooling or just wet from the rain.
“Head yourself on back to class now, Megumi, hun. I’ll cope.”
“B-but…”
“Gwan now. I’ll see you tonight.”
“O-oh?”
“Mmmmmhmmmmm.”
And with that sly innuendo, she hurriedly wheels herself back to the imposing school. I’d watch her longer, but it’s been a long day and I just want to sleep. Sleep it all away.