This is my story of having ADHD while questioning my gender and figuring out if I'm trans:

I can't speak for everyone, but my ADHD and problem solving are directly linked, I see a problem and I hyperfocus on it until it's solved. It's great for computer programming, when questioning gender identity I became rather lost because of it. I couldn't distract myself from it most of the time and it consumed me. I failed almost all my classes in 6 semesters because of it, distanced myself from people and often times found myself lashing out at others. I had a problem that seemed impossible to solve and it drove me crazy.

Now let's talk gender dysphoria. No definition really does it justice but I had a pretty bad moment on Friday and I pretty much spent a 3-5 hours curled up in a ball in the dark on a couch... It's essentially feeling really bad because one's gender not being the same one that was assigned to them at birth. It's pretty much the worst, makes you feel like absolute shit and can cause panic attacks, depression and many more bad things that I'd rather not go into detail on. Now while I couldn't distract from the problem that was "what is my gender identity" a saving grace was that I could distract myself from my dysphoria. Having a day where I felt like I was never going to be pretty, or look like a girl? Play a video game, distract myself. Having a bad day because people keep referring to me by the wrong name and pronouns? Listen to music, now I can't hear them and I'm distracted! Forgot to shave my face...... again? proceed to not shave and just watch youtube videos, not productive but I sure feel better.

Of course when it came to sleeping everything got so much worse, my mind cleared and was just filled with my mind trying to solve a basically unsolvable problem at the time as well as negative thoughts... the only solution I ever found for that was to stay up until I physically couldn't any longer.

I overcame all of this though, I have ADHD and I am a transgender woman. I am Meagan and I proud of who I am and what I accomplished and am on track to getting my life in check.

Thanks for listening. :)