I shouldn't need a throwaway for this, I did nothing wrong. That says a lot about reddit.

I have been in several abusive relationships. The trouble with these relationships is that it doesn't start right away.  People always say 'don't stick it in crazy' as if there is a very large sign hanging from her neck.  Most recently, I didn't get hit until 5 years in.  5 years.  We could have been married with children by now, and quite frankly I am glad that my fear helped me hold out long enough to find the truth.  I had a sneaking suspicion, and in the end my instincts were right.  That doesn't even register with people; that I have been through so much of this that I can just *tell* which women it is going to be.  That shouldn't be possible.  That isn't a normal skill to have.

The worst bit about it is the response I get from sexist people who think that violence against male citizens is a joke.  Yeah getting jaw surgery because I got hit with a frying pan when I broke off a marriage because I walked in on a gang-bang real fucking hilarious.  Who did I think I was anyways, taking our relationship seriously and putting trust in her.  Standing there with flowers in my hands, 'dehumanizing her with my male gaze'.  Yup, I deserved to get hit, geeze I wish I was a better person.  Fucking cunt.   You see guys get slapped in sitcoms all the time.  Society makes you think it is ok.  Well it isn't ok.  **THAT SHIT IS NOT OK**.  If hitting women is wrong, then hitting men is wrong.  Anyone who jokes about it is sexist, and anyone who pretends that women in the United States don't have a privilege in getting out of trouble regarding battery are handicapped.

My first girlfriend was pretty consistent the whole way through.  After about two weeks in, she just started slapping me if I didn't do what she wanted.  I thought this was normal behavior.  "Take me to TGI Fridays" "No we just ate dinner" SLAP. "OK your half of the bill is $12" SLAP.  What sucked about this is that other people see you get slapped, and they just assume you are a piece of shit.  So I was constantly getting scowled at.  After a few months of this I tried to talk to her about it, and she went freak-show.  Talking about how no man of hers is going to 'get all lazy and not pay for her' and how i should just 'shut up and take it'.  Her whole friend-o-sphere was encouraging her too, saying things like 'girl, he don't buy you a whip soon you just cheat on him.  he deserves it, he cant even keep you happy.  When is he getting you a phone too?'

I got the fuck beaten out  of me when I broke up with her.  I just laid there and took it, mostly because we were at Olive Garden.  Everyone around us was cheering her on, and yelling at me.  This went on until I started crying and they made me leave.  She followed me around for about a month, keying my car and telling other people I was talking to that I was some kind of adulterer.  When I took out a restraining order against her she sent her brothers after me.  Now, I don't know what she told them, but it must have been bad.  My apartment was in a quiet neighborhood, and when I hear car doors slam I move to my window to investigate.  Seeing 4 burly dudes with baseball bats slinking up to my door is a sight to behold, I tell you.

You know, it's weird.  You think you will have the presence of mind to do the right thing.  It's a lot like a fire safety drill.  You figure, 'oh how unfortunate.  I shall phone the local law enforcement at once."  Nope.  I just started shaking.  I don't fight, and I also don't work out.  The only physical hobby I have is medieval fencing, which I actually suck at.  I try hard, don't get me wrong, but I am sure as hell not fluent in Old German.  Either way, I ran upstairs and grabbed my Purpleheart Armory waster.  I heard glass break and then random whooping and yee haws.  The fight was actually really simple for me, I just parried the baseball bats and used the verborgene hau against them.  They laid out pretty quick after that fucking shit, so then I called the cops.

When they got there they arrested me for assault with a deadly weapon.  So the next six months was pretty shitty, as I tried to explain what this stupidly not-known-about martial art was, and how I could possibly justify it as self defense.  I suppose the commonwealth had a point: you don't just swing three pounds of solid hickory in the shape of a sword and a dude's head.  I ended up being fine, and also making good friends with a local attorney.  Good guy, I think he knows the folks at my county's courthouse.  Every time he is in there he is talking to the judge and other people about what a good game of golf they had, and then I get to go home.  Thankfully I never get in trouble anywhere else, I don't think I could afford to survive on this sexist fucking planet any other way.

Second girlfriend was a riot.  I met her at a fire, we hit it off and eventually did all the usual things over the course of two years.  I wanted to take it to the next level.  So when her folks kicked her out because she wouldn't work, I put out the idea that she could stay with me and we would see how things progressed.

After a few weeks she kept trying to change things in my apartment.  I wasn't for it, mostly because I had expensive tastes, and every single stick in the place was mine.  Especially important to me was the furniture I made as a result of my woodworking hobby.  By the time I was 22 I had made some pretty incredible shit, and I was damn proud of it.  Anyways, she wanted to start interior decorating type stuff, on 'our' apartment.  She went ballistic when I stopped her, mid carpet-pulling, asking her what the hell she was doing.  I had to actually sit her down and explain that I payed for the apartment.  I payed for the furniture.  I payed for the utilities.  I payed for the food.  I payed for her clothes recently, and her car repairs.  This place was my apartment, filled with my property.  It had been for about the last four years, and her sleeping there didn't suddenly make her the owner of the property.  She started tearing up, and then she popped me in the corner of my jaw.  Something clicked, and I went right out.

I get shaken up by a burly dude.  I can hear static on a radio and a twinkle from his shirt.  I figure, perfect.  If she called an ambulance, that means I can get checked out for a concussion.  I can also try to have her charged with battery, since the cop was there anyways it was efficient to bring the ordeal up to him.

He pushed my over, put his knee on my back, and cuffed me.  As his buddies pulled me up and shoved me towards the door, my face swung around.  The whole apartment was trashed.  I mean **trashed**.  In my glance I noticed a lot of broken and overturned things, also some blood.  As I get thrust out onto the front stoop, I saw her sitting on a gurney.  She has paramedics hovering over her, wrapped in a trauma blanket.  As her gaze meets mine, she starts freaking.  'Oh gawd no, keep him away, why is this happening to me-e-e-e-'.  The neighbors are standing around, shouting at me and hollering things like 'pig' and 'wife beater'.

I knew instantly what had happened, I just never thought it would happen to me.  Especially since the previous two years of our relationship had never yielded an experience which gave me doubts about her personal code of ethics/morals.  I had a buddy that this had happened to, and I knew I was ruined.  This kind of shit never gets out into the light.  You never have a chance of proving what a liar she is.

I caught a break though.  She told the police I was addicted to pornography or some shit, and they seized my first home-made computer.  I was trying to water-cool it too, before there were a whole lot of products available.  I had that shit duct taped to a automotive heater core, it was a labor of love.  The webcam was on, and caught the whole thing.  It also caught my homemade video journal for that day, which was rudely interrupted by her walking in the living room with a utility knife to tear up the carpet.

I was laughing the whole time I first got to sit down and watch the video with my lawyer.  My lawyer, who also helped himself to every dollar I had saved up.  I had to start over again, but I will tell you all about that later.  Anyways, she basically started cutting herself and smashing her face all over the damn furniture.  I got to watch her eat a bag of chips with a bloody nose, then call all of my friends and ask them to come over to try to control me.  After that phone call she stripped down, and called the police.  Both parties arrived at the same time to witness the destruction that she unleashed upon herself.  I still can't talk to those friends, they are very violent in nature towards me.  Which is sad, because two decades is a long time to just throw away.

Anyways, the whole thing took a year.  In that time my family disowned me, and I lost my whole savings to the bills.  I ended up taking my belongings, putting them in my car, and sleeping at a homeless shelter when I got out.  I drove to McDonald's from the shelter for 6 months before I got another job, and still had to sleep at the shelter until I saved enough to jump for my second apartment.  That crazy bitch ruined my life for a whole year.  That's a long time when you are so young.  It's hard to sleep there when they are trying to steal your clothes off your back at night.

The next two relationships I had were carbon copies of each other.  My second apartment was outfitted with cheap webcams in every room except the bathroom because I was afraid of what women can do with their privilege.  I trusted no one, and I was especially careful to never let a girl in the house for sex unless she had been in their before, proving that I didn't just drug her.  I joined a lot of Men's Rights Groups, and heard a lot of advice from men at work who had been through the same thing over the years.

Relationships went along pretty well, when I got them.  A lot of times I would get dates with girls because I was talking with them about sexism, and how I am against it.  Feminists love that, because they think that they themselves are forward thinking just like me.  But when we went on a date they flipped their shit when I explained that I wasn't paying for her.  From my point of view, all citizens are equal.  In a date, both citizens have just as much to lose regardless of gender.  I think that expecting the male citizen to handle the burden of financial risk is sexist, and that women who expect special treatment are not truly egalitarian.  So that saved me a lot of trouble by weeding out crazy women who want to be treated special without working for it or anything.  I have the same problem with girls who post racy facebook photos.  If they want to be respected, show me a picture of them in a lab coat or suit.  Anyways...

As I was saying the next two relationships were identical.  Glad to pay half.  Glad to do things together, glad to go out together.  Glad to meet the family, glad to plan events for each other.  The problem for them was commitment.  I would love to get married, but marriage is a sexist institution.  Even if I could prove my innocence if a female citizen went crazy, she would get half or more of my stuff.  I don't support that.  I don't think it is fair, and I don't believe in the institution of marriage until it is fair.

Both of these girls construed this as a commitment problem.  I told them, if you want a ring and a wedding then we can plan for that & do it, but I am not joining my citizenship with you on paper.  I do not believe that two citizens should share a bank account under any circumstances whatsoever.  So after they swallowed that equality pill I would tell them that I would gladly marry if we got a pre-nup.  'Well, lets wait and see' they said.  Both of them.

What ended up happening was I was subjected to verbal abuse, and emotional abuse.  They used me like sex slaves, and berated me and belittled me when they didn't get what they wanted.  Both of them, behaved exactly the same.  I don't even have to split them up into sections.  They both started cheating on me, and then telling me it was my fault.  That I was a bad person who needed to be rehabilitated.

Finally they started hitting me and screaming at me.  They would start fights about shit that made no sense.  No sense at all.  After they tried to change subjects during a fight, as soon as I had an opening to speak my own sentence, I would start by quoting the sentence they previously spoke in order to prove my point.  "I didn't say that." "You just did." **"NO I FUCKING DIDN'T YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT"**

A lot of people are sexist, and seem to think that men are just a bunch of neanderthal sex-addicts who only learned to walk upright because everything they want to stick their dick in started doing it first.  I don't like being pressured into sex.  No one does.  No one likes being used for it either, not even men.  Getting a guy drunk so you can bed him is just as despicable as a guy doing that to a girl.  A lot of feminists call that rape.  If they wanted real equality they would realize that this means that men get raped too.  A boner is a spinal reflex, men get them from all sorts of things they can't control.  I don't like that if I say no I get called a pussy (don't girls realize that this is an insult to them?!?!??), and then get showed the cold shoulder for a week.  God forbid I have feelings or anything.

All conversations where I attempt to employ logic and reasoning to reach an adult-level conclusion that would benefit the both of us would result in battery.  Every time.  Things stayed this way until I started to get cheated on, which I tolerated once with each of them & then broke up.  The fourth girlfriend tried to sabotage my entire life, so I posted the clips of our fights on facebook for her friend's viewing pleasure.

In a sick way, it brought me much joy to post them.  The one that got me banned from facebook was my favorite.  It starts with her sitting on the couch, and me entering the door with my briefcase.  I had just made the switch from a backpack at the office, and I was feeling pretty boss with the briefcase (I highly recommend it!).  She just starts smiling, then throwing things at me.  I figure this is great, she is being playful.  We toss pillows at each other and wrestle to the ground playfully, where she looks into my eyes and announces "I cheated on you today."  After that sentence I spliced in the footage of her getting nailed by two guys she worked with on top of the kitchen island.  The angle from the webcam was great, I actually was pretty impressed with the quality too.  Most of the time I just ended up coming home from work and deleting the .avi files because I knew nothing happened.  But there were a few special moments like this that I am glad I saved.

Her family hated that.  My friends loved it, it was a good fap apparently.  It ended up getting many comments and then getting reported on facebook.  I narrowly avoided legal trouble with that one because, I don't know how it slipped my mind, wiretapping laws in my state say that all parties involved must be aware of the recording.  I never told either of those girlfriends, so that was not good.

Still reading?  I have spent a long time typing this now reddit.  I don't even know it I can paste this all into the submission box now that I think of it.  Oh well.

My most recent girlfriend, the 5th one, was told all of these things.  She didn't seem to have a problem with it.  She accepted that I will be distrustful of her, but I told her that I really care about her and that our relationship will grow beyond that kind of petty shit.  I told her that I would love to devote all of my efforts to being a better person, and that I really loved her.  That was about 4 months in.  We made it about 5 years.

We agreed to get married this past winter, for real; no pre-nup.  A week before we were going to announce our engagement to our families & friends, she told me she wanted an open marriage.  I have a very black & white view on sex.  See, just her asking me that tells me that she doesn't love me anymore.  Because of that, I no longer love her.  I told her no.  She tried to reason with me, and I politely, *nearly whispered* 'no' to everything she said.  The next day while I was at work, I decided I was going to end our relationship.  Just because I had been abused before doesn't mean I am going to settle for some shit.  I stopped to get flowers on the way home.

I walked in on her getting gang-banged.  I mean really getting fucked.  She was getting DP'd, and there was a third dude going 'aww yeah like that bitch' humping her face.  They all noticed me at about the same time.  She jumped up, and ran out while giving me the finger and spitting on my suit.  The dudes just started laughing at me.  I tore the phone off the wall and beaned it off one guys head, and growled in the most manly voice I have ever emitted in my entire life "YOU HAVE FOURTY SECONDS".  I felt like wolverine during the night terror scene.  I was flexing and everything.  I was not acting however, my blood pressure could have ran a steam turbine.

I went upstairs and got my Albion Regent, shaking with pure rage.  I was blacking out for lengths of about 3 to 5 seconds while I experienced flashbacks to the first time I had to fuck up somebody with a sword, albeit wooden.  When I got downstairs they were gone, and I just fell asleep.  I woke up the next day, and drove to my bank to secure my accounts.  I've heard about the dumb shit that sexist women will do when they deliberately destroy someone's life for their own amusement and personal gain.  My banker confirmed that she had indeed been over recently to try to put a hold on my personal accounts, but they wouldn't let her because we never joined them.  I explained what happened, and the whole bank was trying to calm me down.  She was actually very helpful; she helped me close the accounts, and then open new ones so that she wouldn't know the account numbers.  Thankfully we hadn't gotten married yet, otherwise everything I had ever worked for would have been sacrificed to that cunt.

When I got home the living room was empty.  She was just standing there.  I just screamed at her incoherently.  I didn't even ask her anything.  I was just yelling.  Then she turned to me and smiled.  She had burned all of my furniture in the fire-pit outside.  All of it.  Everything I had ever carved.

She had some nerve with the explanation.  I should be thankful that she did what I couldn't do; the furniture was symbolic of my broken way of thinking about our relationship, and I will learn to appreciate what she did for me out of the goodness of her heart.  Also, the police will be by later to discuss the way I emotionally abused her (by telling her I don't love her anymore and that I want her gone by the end of the day) during the conversation.  A conversation where she decided that other men were going to be living in **MY HOUSE** fucking her, and I would just have to deal with it.

She started hitting me when I told her she was 'now officially homeless'.  I decided that for once in my life I wasn't going to lay there and take it.  I grabbed her forearms as the blows came forward and tried to restrain her, as any well-meaning citizen would do when dealing with a violent citizen.  Well, I got kicked in the balls.  I dropped, and she ran.  When I looked up I got clocked with a frying pan in the head.  Woke up in the hospital, handcuffed to the bed.  She was the victim of domestic violence apparently.

This was 4 weeks ago.  She got a restraining order against me, lying and saying that I hit her.  She also changed the locks on my apartment, and as you know, burned the products of my hobby.

I have nothing.  I am sleeping at my office for now, and I am hoping that no one notices.  I always worked early anyways, so most people don't think shit about it that even the early birds can't beat me out.  But someone has to notice eventually, and that will be the start of what I fear is a terrible breakdown.

I don't want a relationship where my significant other, who lies to my face and tells me they accept me for who I am, tries to change who I am as our relationship progresses.  I don't like being yelled at for using logic in a conversation, then having to defend myself against other people because she lied on facebook and says I beat her.  I don't like coming home to find a personal project like a trebuchet has been destroyed because I didn't buy her a car for her birthday, and by the way she slept with someone else while I was at work and it is all my fault, because I don't support her and I drove her to do it by not giving in to her insane demands on a regular basis.

**I think I'm just going to be an asshole from now on.**  I can't do the whole nice guy thing anymore.  I am sick of getting punched, getting slapped, being tripped, having things broken, having things stolen, being lied to, being cheated on, and being used.  I am sick of this shit.  I am done with traditional relationships.  I am sick of spending all my money because someone who is supposed to be on equal footing with me uses sex as a financial bartering tool to manipulate me and confuse me.

But this isn't even the tip of the iceberg.  I have been going through this shit from women at my places of employment for the duration of my entire career.  Sexual harassment lawsuits, girls running around trying to get raises, complaining about pay grades when they don't work as hard, and fucking up other people's relationships because the drama excites them.

I have also had to deal with girls hitting me in school, and then trying to get me in trouble for shit.  I could go over every single episode in detail.  I could pull out my yearbook, and tell you reddit, by name, what each female citizen in the book has done to be able to hit me or destroy me.  It never ends, and it is fucking bullshit.  I am trying real hard to not be sexist, to say to myself in a chant that not all women are like that.  But the evidence is pointing in the other direction.

I think . . . I think that hitting people is wrong.  I honestly believe that if I had a child, and my child was murdered by an axe murderer, that that citizen needs to be rehabilitated.  Would I want to hit that citizen?  Yes, punching that citizen would be what I would desire.  But I know it isn't right.

My point is, that even with that personal code of mine, I don't know if I can hold back from beating the next dumb cunt I see into a fucking bloody pulp.  I don't know if I have the discipline it takes to keep myself above that scum-sucking level that they fuck their way across.  I don't know if I really think, in my own heart, that women are actually equal to men anymore.  I just don't know.

**Where have all the good men gone?  Women destroyed them.  I know, for I used to be one of them.**