Pastebin launched a little side project called VERYVIRAL.com, check it out ;-) Want more features on Pastebin? Sign Up, it's FREE!
Guest

[S] Past Karkat: Wake up- [CONVERSATIONLOG]

By: a guest on Jul 22nd, 2011  |  syntax: None  |  size: 29.70 KB  |  views: 2,678  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. [S] Past Karkat: Wake up.
  2. KARKAT_
  3. *Terezi
  4. >Talk to Terezi
  5. TEREZI: WOW CH3CK OUT WHO F1N4LLY WOK3 UP!
  6. TEREZI: W3V3 B33N TRY1NG TO W4K3 YOU FOR 4N HOUR, BUT YOU W3R3 UNR3SPONS1V3 TO 3VV3N TH3 MOST S3NS3L3SS OF C4N3 DRUBB1NGS >:]
  7. KARKAT: MY HEAD HURTS.
  8. TEREZI: PROB4BLY DU3 TO TH3 4FOR3M3NT1ON3D NUB DRUBB1NGS
  9. KARKAT: WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE SRUBBINGS. PUT THAT CANE AWAY, DAMMIT. IT’S NOT LIKE YOU EVEN NEED IT.
  10. KARKAT: I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM, OK.
  11. TEREZI: OH?
  12. KARKAT: I FINALLY WOKE UP ON PROSPIT.
  13. TEREZI: YOU D1D???
  14. TEREZI: OH GOD, 1 C4NT B3L13V3 1 M1SS3D 1T!
  15. KARKAT: YEAH WELL, SORRY WE CAN’T GO ON OUR ENCHANTED GOLDEN MAGIC CARPET RIDE OR WHATEVER YOU HAD IN STORE FOR US, BUT NOW IT’S TOO LATE.
  16. KARKAT: DREAM ME IS DEAD.
  17. TEREZI: 1 KNOW >:[
  18. TEREZI: 4LL OF US 4R3, PROSP1T W4S COMPL3T3LY D3STROY3D
  19. KARKAT: OH SHIT, REALLY?
  20. KARKAT: GUESS THAT’S NOT TOO SURPRISING. ANYWAY, I SAW THE DEMON AGAIN.
  21. KARKAT: I THINK I KNOW WHO IT IS.
  22. TEREZI: WHO 1S 1T >:?
  23. KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW HOW IT’S POSSIBLE...
  24. KARKAT: I NEED TO SEARCH FOR MORE ANSWERS BEFORE I KNOW FOR SURE.
  25. TEREZI: STOP B31NG MYST3R1OUS 4ND T3LL M3!
  26. KARKAT: NO WAY. I’M NOT JUMPING TO HASTY CONCLUSIONS. IF IT TURNS OUT I’M RIGHT, THEN I GUESS WE BOTH GET TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO.
  27. TEREZI: 4RGH, F1N3
  28. TEREZI: SO, YOU S4W H1M JUST B3FOR3 H3 D3STROY3D PROSP1T?
  29. KARKAT: YEAH. AND THAT WASN’T EVEN THE BAD PART OF THE DREAM.
  30. TEREZI: TH4T W4S 4N HOUR 4GO! WH4T H4V3 YOU B33N DR34M1NG 4BOUT S1NC3?
  31. KARKAT: I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
  32. KARKAT: THE BOTTOM LINE IS, EVERYONE HERE IS FORBIDDEN FROM GOING TO SLEEP.
  33. TEREZI: FORB1DD3N?
  34. KARKAT: YES, AS YOUR LEADER, I AM ORDERING ALL PROSPIT DREAMERS TO STAY AWAKE, NO MATTER HOW TIRED YOU GET.
  35. TEREZI: UM, 4LR1GHT >:/
  36. KARKAT: DO YOU EVER EVEN GET TIRED?
  37. TEREZI: WH4TS TH4T SUPPOS3D TO M34N!
  38. KARKAT: ALL YOU DO IS RUN YOUR MOUTH ALL DAY, AND SNIFF AND LICK PEOPLE INAPPROPRIATELY WITH THAT SHIT EATING GRIN.
  39. KARKAT: I DON’T THINK I’VE EVER EVEN SEEN YOU YAWN.
  40. TEREZI: 1M G3TT1NG PR3TTY T1R3D R1GHT NOW 4S 4 M4TT3R OF F4CT
  41. TEREZI: T1R3D OF YOUR BULLSH1T!
  42. KARKAT: GOD I’M TIRED.
  43. >Get lowdown from Terezi.
  44. TEREZI: SO GU3SS WH4T
  45. TEREZI: W3V3 B33N 1N CONT4CT W1TH SOM3 4L13NS FROM TH3 UN1V3RS3 W3 CR34T3D
  46. KARKAT: OK. SO?
  47. TEREZI: DONT YOU TH1NK TH4TS K1ND OF N34T?
  48. KARKAT: NO. IT’S BORING. WHO CARES?
  49. TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT 4S OUR 1NTR3P1D L34D3R TH4T W4S SOM3TH1NG YOU M1GHT W4NT TO KNOW
  50. KARKAT: ALRIGHT, AS LEADER, I RECOMMEND WE DELIVER THEM A DELIGHTFUL GIFT BASKET VIA TRANSUNIVERSAL BULGE THRUST.
  51. KARKAT: ARE YOU TAKING THIS DOWN???
  52. TEREZI: >:P
  53. TEREZI: 1M NOT S4Y1NG W3 N33D TO M4K3 FR13NDS W1TH TH3M OR 4NYTH1NG, BUT W3V3 B3GUN TO SUSP3CT TH3Y H4V3 SOM3TH1NG TO DO W1TH OUR S3SS1ON, P4R4DOX14LLY SP34K1NG
  54. KARKAT: IS ANYTHING EVER NOT PARADOXIALLY SPEAKING?
  55. TEREZI: M4YB3 W3 C4N F1GUR3 OUT 4 W4Y TO G3T OURS3LV3S OUT OF TH1S J4M?
  56. KARKAT: NOPE. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. WE’RE DOOMED. A MEANINGLESS RACE OF ALIENS WON’T CHANGE THAT.
  57. KARKAT: NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, I’VE GOT A LOT OF IMPORTANT SHIT TO DO.
  58. TEREZI: YOU M34N 4 LOT OF 1MPORT4NT W4ND3R1NG 4ROUND 41ML3SSLY 4ND T4LK1NG TO P3OPL3?
  59. KARKAT: YES, EXACTLY.
  60.  
  61. *Sollux
  62. >Talk to Sollux
  63. SOLLUX: hey kk mo2t of the2e computer2 are 2hiit.
  64. SOLLUX: 2o unle22 youve got a real good rea2on ii don’t thiink iim gonna bother fiixiing them.
  65. KARKAT: I’M FINE, THANKS FOR ASKING MAN. YOUR CONCERN IS REALLY APPRECIATED, I APPRECIATE IT.
  66. SOLLUX: fuck you and your priimadonna garbade, iim not goiing two break down 2obbiing becau2e of a liittle blood, why dont you man up.
  67. KARKAT: HEY FUCK YOU, I TURN AROUND AND SEE A CRAZY GIRL WITH A CHAINSAW AND A TSUNAMI OF BROWN. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT WE NOT TURN OUR LITTLE HISEOUT INTO A SLAUGHTERHOUSE?
  68. SOLLUX: what diid you want me two do get down on the floor and kii22 your faiinted corp2e on the liip2 two wake you up on a non exii2tent pro2piit?
  69. KARKAT: LET’S NOT DO THIS, OK MAN? JUST THIS ONCE. I DON’T HAVE THE ENERGY.
  70. SOLLUX: yeah ok fiine.
  71. KARKAT: SO WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH THESE ALIENS, IS IT ANYTHING I SHOULD GIVE A SHIT ABOUT?
  72. SOLLUX:  no not at all, theyre u2ele22 and uniintere2tiing like iim 2ure you already gathered.
  73. SOLLUX: ii recommend we don’t bother wiith them, though aradiia 2eem2 two thiink well all be iin each other2 2ponge2 iineviitably.
  74. SOLLUX: whatever, iim pretty commiitted two not havving anythiing two do wiith them ever.
  75. KARKAT: GOOD, THAT’S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR.
  76. SOLLUX: uh huh, 2ure kk by the look of 2ome of your future memo2 iit look2 like youre gonna get pretty wound up by thii2 thiing 2oon.
  77. KARKAT: MAN, FUCK MY FUTURE MEMOS.
  78. SOLLUX: no way, theyre hiilariiou2, be2t thiing haviing you a2 a leader han2 down.
  79. KARKAT: FUCK THAT SENTIMENT, AND FUCK YOU, AND FUCK FUTURE ME.
  80. SOLLUX: ok. What about pa2t you, ii2 pa2t you cool.
  81. KARKAT: THE ONLY GUY MORE IRRITATING AND STUPID THAN FUTURE ME IS PAST ME.
  82. SOLLUX: ehehehehehehehe.
  83.  
  84. *Feferi
  85. >Talk to Feferi.
  86. FFEERI: Finally! So Karkat, w)(at was your dream like after you died? I )(ave been glubbing like crazy over )(ere wondering about it.
  87. KARKAT: I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT IT. JUST DON’T GO TO SLEEP.
  88. KARKAT: OH WAIT, YOU’RE A DERSE DREAMER, RIGHT? NEVER MIND, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT. LITERALLY.
  89. FEFERI: You look so nervous and pale. Were you scared of w)(at you saw?
  90. KARKAT: WHAT ABOUT NOT TALKING ABOUT IT DON’T YOU GET.
  91. FEFERI: T)(ere’s no reason to be scared! T)(ey are not as terrible as t)(ey look.
  92. FEFERI: W)(en Derse is destroyed, I am going to go to sleep and prove it.
  93. FEFERI: I will prove it to you, and to t)(em as well.
  94. KARKAT: THEM?
  95. FEFERI: Our new friends! You’ll see. –Everyt)(ing is going to be ok.
  96. FEFERI: T)(IS IS PR-ETTY –EXCITING! Don’t you t)(ink???
  97. KARKAT: “M-E)(“
  98. FEFERI: GLUB TO T)(AT ATTITUD-E!!!!!! >38O
  99.  
  100. *Aradia
  101. >Talk to Aradia.
  102. ARADIA: have y0u decided t0 tr0ll them yet
  103. KARKAT: TROLL WHO?
  104. ARADIA: never mind
  105. ARADIA: lets pretend i didnt say that and lets als0 pretend it isn’t inevitable
  106. KARKAT: WHAT THE FROND BUCKLING NOOK STENCH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
  107. ARADIA: n0thing. Its n0t like a decisi0n y0u are ab0ut t0 make will invariably lead t0 every pr0blem we have and will ever face as well as the great und0ing itself
  108. ARADIA: just keep listening t0 your angry impulses it will all be fine
  109. ARADIAL actually i guess i c0uld kill y0u right n0w and st0p it all fr0m happening thus d00ming us all in an 0ffsh00t timeline
  110. ARADIA: i might c0nsider it if we all werent d00med anyway
  111. ARADIA: and if y0u werent my friend
  112. KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT WAS GREAT? WHEN YOU USED TO NOT BE A ROBOT.
  113. KARKAT: CAUSE THIS ROBOT THING? THIS IS BULLSHIT.
  114. KARKAT: IF WE WEREN’T ALL ABOUT OT DIE, I’D DEDICATE OUR WHOLE TEAM TO FINDING A WAY TO BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE.
  115. KARKAT: BUT WE ARE SO GUESS WE’LL HAVE TO RIDE OUT THE NEXT FEW HOURS WITH A SPOOKY TIN CAN PSYCHOPATH, SOUNDS LIKE A BLAST.
  116. ARADIA: 0_0
  117.  
  118. *Nepeta
  119. >Talk to Nepeta.
  120. NEPETA: :33 < oh god this is so great, they look like they are so much fun!
  121. KARKAT: WHO
  122. NEPETA: :33 < the humans!!!
  123. KARKAT: WHAT’S A HUMAN
  124. NEPETA: :33 < the alien kids! come on karcat, you need to stop taking all these silly naps and get up to sp33d
  125. KARKAT: WAIT, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING
  126. KARKAT: YOU HAVEN’T BEEN PULLING RP NONSENSE ON THEM HAVE YOU? TALK ABOUT A SHITTY FIRST ENCOUNTER.
  127. KARKAT: OK AS LEADER, I FORBID YOU FROM RP’ING WITH THEM.
  128. NEPETA: :33 > but equius already furbid me from doing that :((
  129. NEPETA: :33 < not that i am listening to him, but shhhhh! :33
  130. KARKAT: WAIT, HE DID?
  131. KARKAT: OK, THEN AS YOUR LEADER I ORDER YOU TO RP WITH THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. BE AS OBNOXIOUS ABOUT IT AS YOU CAN.
  132. NEPETA: :33 <  yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
  133.  
  134. *Tavros
  135. >Talk to Tavros.
  136. TAVROS: hEYYY, yOU’RE AWAKE,
  137. KARKAT: HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN AWESOME TIME TO TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SAW YOUR LOWER TORSO OFF AND REPLACE IT WITH ROBO LEGS?
  138. TAVROS: nO,
  139. KARKAT: ANY GODDAMN TIME BEFORE NOW. YOU KNOW, DURING OUR WHOLE ADVENTURE WHEN THEY MIGHT HAVE COME IN HANDY.
  140. KARKAT: ALSO WHEN I DIDN’T HAPPEN TO BE STANDING AROUND. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO SWEET.
  141. TAVROS: oHH, sORRY, i MEAN i WAS KIND OF ASLEEP TOO, sO, i DIDN’T HAVE A LOT OF SAY,
  142. TAVROS: iN THE MATTER,
  143. KARKAT: DID YOU SEE HIM?
  144. TAVROS: wHO,
  145. KARKAT: THE DEMON. WHEN YOU WERE ASLEEP.
  146. TAVROS: nO,
  147. KARKAT: HE WAS RIGHT FUCKING THERE. I TOLD YOU TO LOOK, BUT I GUESS YOU WERE TOO BUSY FROLICKING IN THE SKY OR WHATEVER YOU DO ON THAT GAUDY YELLOW MOON.
  148. TAVROS: oH, mAN, yEAH SKY FROLICKING WAS PROBABLY DEFINITELY THE THING i WAS PREOCCUPIED BY,
  149. KARKAT: ANYWAY, THAT WAS JUST BEFORE HE BLEW THE PLACE UP.
  150. TAVROS: wOAH, iS THAT WHAT HAPPENED,
  151. KARKAT: IDIOT.
  152. KARKAT: JUST DON’T GO TO SLEEP. SPREAD THE WORD.
  153. TAVROS: i COULDN’T POSSIBLY SLEEP NOW, i’M TOO EXCITED ABOUT THESE AWESOME LEGS, lOOK AT ME GO, wHOOPS,
  154.  
  155. *Equius
  156. >Talk to Equius.
  157. KARKAT: THIS ROBOLEG BULLSHIT WAS YOUR IDEA WASN’T IT.
  158. EQUIUS: D --> I only supplied the technological means, though my lobbying for a hooven quadrupedal lower torso went tragically disregarded
  159. KARKAT: OK I HEREBY ORDER YOU TO NEVER THINK ABOUT GIVING SOMEONE HORSELEGS AGAIN, IS THAT UNDERSTOOD.
  160. EQUIUS: D --> Yes, I can follow that order, sir
  161. EQUIUS: D --> Are there any other orders you would like to issue to me in a manner that is similarly forceful
  162. KARKAT: I ALSO ORDER YOU TO STOP GETTING OFF ON MY ORDERS. FOR LIKE THE FIVE HUNDREDTH FUCKING TIME.
  163. EQUIUS: D --> Yes, and you will continue to order me to do so. I command it
  164. EQUIUS: D --> ...
  165. EQUIUS: D --> I need a towel
  166. KARKAT: GO HAVE YOUR BUTLER GET YOU ONE YOU SNOOTY DOUCHE.
  167. EQUIUS: D --> Aurthour is dead, and so is his ghost
  168. EQUIUS: D --> Remember
  169. KARKAT: YEAH.
  170. KARKAT: SORRY MAN, I FORGOT. DIDN’T MEAN TO BRING UP A SORE SUBJECT.
  171. EQUIUS: D --> Is this where embrace jocularly, as if we are “bros”
  172. EQUIUS: D --> I will be as gentle as possible
  173. KARKAT: DON’T TOUCH ME.
  174.  
  175. *Vriska
  176. >Talk to Vriska.
  177. KARKAT: HEY VRISKA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
  178. KARKAT: PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET IT BE SOMETHING INCONSEQUENTIAL AND BENIGN.
  179. VRISKA: Karkat! Man, you were out for a long time. I have made so many plans for these humans while you were asleep. Do you know how many plans have 8een made?
  180. KARKAT: PROBABLY ALL OF THEM, EVEN THOUGH PLANS AREN’T REALLY AN EXHAUSTIVELY QUANTIFIABLE THING AND WE BOTH FUCKING KNOW THAT.
  181. VRISKA: Yes! Aaaaaaaall of them. So many irons too. Guess where the irons are!
  182. KARKAT: PLEASE DON’T LET THEM BE IN THE FIRE, PLEASE DON’T LET THEM BE IN THE FIRE...
  183. VRISKA: They are........
  184. VRISKA: IN
  185. VRISKA: THE
  186. VRISKA: FIIIIIIIIRE!!!!!!!! ::::)
  187. KARKAT: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.
  188. KARKAT: LOOK WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING, STOP. OR PUT IT ON PAUSE. CAN YOU PLEASE DO THAT?
  189. KARKAT: I WASN’T GOING TO BOTHER WITH THE HUMANS BUT NOW YOU’RE MAKING ME NERVOUS. JUST GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO LOOK INTO THIS MATTER, AND THEN I’LL BRIEF EVERYBODY.
  190. KARKAT: MAYBE WITH A SPEECH OR SOMETHING. CAN YOU DO THAT?
  191. KARKAT: PLEEEEEEEEASE? I JUST SAID THAT WITH EIGHT E’S.
  192. VRISKA: Fine, I will take a 8r8k, Karkat. 8ut only 8ecause you were so polite a8out it.
  193. VRISKA: It will give me a chance to go get some stuff done!
  194.  
  195. *Kanaya
  196. >Talk to Kanaya.
  197. KARKAT: HEY I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO YOU IN THE PAST. REMEMBER YOU WERE FUCKING AROUND WITH THE VOLCANO AND I PASSED OUT FOR AN HOUR?
  198. KANAYA: Vaguely
  199. KARKAT: THAT WAS NOW. HEY GUESS WHAT, NEW ORDERS. NO MORE IMPROMPTY AMPUTATIONS, OK?
  200. KANAYA: Impromputations
  201. KARKAT: YEAH. KEEP YOUR LIPSTICK CAPPED OK. I DON’T WANT TO TURN AROUND AND SEE RAINBOW BLOOD SPRAYING EVERY WHICH WAY JUST CAUSE YOU THINK THE PLACE IS A LITTLE DRAB.
  202. KANAYA: I Did My Best To Clean Up The Blood Before You Woke Up
  203. KARKAT: THANKS FOR THAT. ALSO ANOTHER NEW ORDER. DON’T GO TO SLEEP.
  204. KANAYA: Dont Worry I Dont Really Want To Find Out What Happens If I Do
  205. KANAYA: Any Other Orders
  206. KANAYA: Such As Those Which Might Pertain To These Alien Children
  207. KARKAT: YEAH, MY ORDERS ARE THAT THEY’RE COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT, AND WHO CARES ABOUT THEM.
  208. KANAYA: How Are Those Orders
  209. KARKAT: BECAUSE I’M YOUR LEADER THAT’S HOW.
  210. KANAYA: They Are Not Irrelevant
  211. KARKAT: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT.
  212. KANAYA: Its A Bit Complicated
  213. KANAYA: But I Believe You Should Give Them A Closer Look Before You Decide What To Do About Them If Anything
  214. KANAYA: Perhaps Then An Especially Leaderly Speech Will Be In Order
  215. KARKAT: OK I DOUBT THAT BUT WHATEVER.
  216.  
  217. *Gamzee
  218. >Talk to Gamzee.
  219. GAMZEE: HeY CaN I HeLp a tIrEd lOoKiNg bRoThEr gEt hIss mOtHeRfUcKiN NaP On?
  220. GAMZEE: sLeEp iN ThE HoRn pIlE? oNlY 420 bOoNdOlLaRs
  221. >No
  222. KARKAT: I JUST SLEPT ON THE FLOOR FOR AN HOUR, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I NEED A NAP???
  223. KARKAT: BESIDES, I JUST BANNED EVERYONE FROM SLEEPING, SO DON’T GO PULLING THIS HORN PILE INN KEEPER SHIT, GOT IT?
  224. KARKAT: ALSO, STOP DANCING. IT’S AWFUL.
  225. GAMZEE: Ok wElL. If yOu gEt yOuR MiNd aLl cHaNgEd aBoUt tHaT ThEn yOu kNoW WhErE To fInD ThE PiLe, BeSt fRiEnD
  226. KARKAT: OH YEAH, ALSO CLEAN YOUR FUCKING GARBAGE OFF THE FLOOR. IF THIS SHIT ISN’T GONE IN A FEW HOURS I’M SERIOUSLY GOING TO FLIP OUT.
  227. GAMZEE: HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK! :O)
  228. >Hell no
  229. [You get the same conversation that you get by selecting “>No”]
  230.  
  231. *Eridan
  232. >Talk to Eridan
  233. ERIDAN: wwhat a fuckin vvulgar display this is
  234. ERIDAN: airin out all his dirty laundry like that puttin a big fuckin pile a horns in the middle of the room
  235. ERIDAN: at least i got the upright basic decency to hide my shitty wand pile somewwhere in the lab you wwont find it dont evven bother looking
  236. KARKAT: WHY DO YOU ASSHOLES HAVE PILES OF THINGS, JUST STOP.
  237.  
  238.  
  239. VRISKA_
  240. *Karkat
  241. >Talk to Karkat
  242. KARKAT: JUST... PLEASE.
  243. KARKAT: GO FIND SOME REMOTE CORNER OF THIS LAB, BUILD YOURSELF A NICE WEB, AND SIT THERE PEACEFULLY AND HARMLESSLY UNTIL WE ALL DIE. OK?
  244. VRISKA: Die? Lame.
  245. VRISKA: Karkat, there is a8solutely no chance we are going to die.
  246. VRISKA: Not with my luck! I got all of it, remem8er?
  247.  
  248. *Terezi
  249. >Talk to Terezi
  250. VRISKA: The Scourge Sisters are 8ack in action! Yeah!!!!!!!!
  251. TEREZI: NO W3 4R3 NOT! W1LL YOU STOP W1TH TH4T 4LR34DY???
  252. VRISKA: Sure we are! You’ll find out. Just give it a few hours.
  253. TEREZI: 1 W1LL G1V3 YOU 4 F3W DRUBB1NGS!
  254. VRISKA: Yes!!!!!!!! That’s the spirit, Redglare.
  255. TEREZI: BL4R, PL34S3 DO NOT ST4RT US1NG MY OLD FL4RP1NG N4M3, 1T’S SO 3MB4RR4SS1NG
  256.  
  257. *Sollux
  258. >Talk to Sollux.
  259. VRISKA: Sollux, I never got to simultaneously thank you and reprimand you for tracing that money transfer.
  260. VRISKA: On the one hand, it made Terezi rich, and now she won’t stop lording it over me!
  261. SOLLUX: ok, ii’m pretty much 100% po2iitiive 2he’2 not actually doiing that, but ok.
  262. VRISKA: Shh! 8ut on the other hand, you’ve opened up a whole world to me with this discovery. So many people to meddle with, so many plans to hatch.
  263. VRISKA: So really, my reaction to it is twofold. Somewhat 8ipolar if you will. Don’t you think that’s appropri8?
  264. SOLLUX: man, ju2t...
  265. SOLLUX: go away.
  266. SOLLUX: ii’m not iin the glubbiing mood.
  267. VRISKA: Stop saying fish things, everyone thinks it’s annoying!!!!!!!!
  268.  
  269. *Feferi
  270. >Talk to Feferi
  271. VRISKA: So! You sure seem excited a8out the alien kids. What gives????????
  272. FEFERI: Glub... I wouldn’t say t)(at.
  273. VRISKA: Oh?
  274. FEFERI: T)(e w)(ole t)(ing doesn’t seem like it’s wort)( getting worked up about, to be )(onest.
  275. VRISKA: ::::|
  276. FEFERI: Sig)(. T)(ey’re just kind of dull.
  277. FEFERI: Life is dull and uninteresting.
  278. FEFERI: I don’t know, maybe I’m just a little depressed.
  279. FEFERI: You probably wouldn’t understand.
  280. VRISKA: Sure I would! We all have our off days. Hey, if you need someone to talk to, I’m...
  281. FEFERI: Pffffffffffffffffffffffff )(-E)(-E)(-E)(-E!
  282. FEFERI: PSYYYYYYYYYYYC)(-E )(-E-E )(-E-E )(-E-E )(-E-E )(OO )(OO )(OO! 38D
  283. FEFERI: )(oly crap did I get you good! )(ey, Sollux! Did you catc)( any of t)(at?
  284. FEFERI: A live one jumped rig)(t into my boat! A real suckerfis)(! Woo)(oo)(oo. )9ow do you like t)(at, spider)(ag! Sea dwellers represent!!!
  285. VRISKA: That was...
  286. VRISKA: Surprisingly nasty of you.
  287. VRISKA: I’m impressed!
  288. FEFERI: T)(anks. I )(ope I didn’t jeopardize our friends)(ip wit)( t)(at little stunt! 38)
  289. VRISKA: Friendship? I don’t know if...
  290. VRISKA: W8 a minute. Why you!!!!!!!! You almost got me AGAIN!
  291. VRISKA: Have I ever told you how awesome you are, Peixes?
  292.  
  293. *Aradia
  294. >Talk to Aradia
  295. VRISKA: Hey dead girl! How’s 8eing dead treating you?
  296. ARADIA: c0uldnt i ask y0u the same thing
  297. VRISKA: Yeah, sure! If you wanted to 8e technically inaccur8. It would still 8urn though, so touche!
  298. ARADIA: its really weird that y0u keep antag0nizing me
  299. ARADIA: i c0uld snap y0ur neck with a twitch
  300. VRISKA: Yeah 8ut you won’t!
  301. ARADIA: 0k
  302. ARADIA: what d0 y0u want
  303. VRISKA: You saw the demon up close, right? You fought him! Or at least your doppelgangers did.
  304. ARADIA: yes
  305. VRISKA: What was he like!
  306. ARADIA: ...
  307. ARADIA: what d0 y0u want t0 kn0w specifically
  308. VRISKA: Primarily I’m interested in your take on his weaknesses, tactical disadvantages, stuff like that.
  309. ARADIA: 0_0
  310. ARADIA: are y0u seri0usly intending t0 fight him
  311. VRISKA: Wouldn’t you like to know!!!!!!!!
  312. ARADIA: n0t especially
  313.  
  314. *Nepeta
  315. >Talk to Nepeta.
  316. NEPETA: :33 < *nepeta giggles at the spidergirls gunny googly eye. she just cant s33m to get used to it!*
  317. VRISKA: *Marquise Mindfang shares the innocent young catgirl’s giggle, as she surreptitiously reaches for an orn8 dagger concealed in her 8oot!*
  318. NEPETA: :33 < nooooooo dont roleplay as mindfang! :((
  319. NEPETA: :33 < you only do terrible things when you are her
  320. NEPETA: :33 < why dont you pretend to be something cute for a change?
  321. VRISKA: How a8out my spidersona? It’s adora8le!
  322. NEPETA: :33 < no its not! you only do terrible things as your spidersona too
  323. NEPETA: :33 < i changed my mind, why dont we just not do any roleplaying instead
  324. VRISKA: ::::(
  325.  
  326. *Tavros
  327. >Talk to Tavros.
  328. VRISKA: Tavros, they look amazing. YOU look amazing.
  329. VRISKA: 8eing a8le to walk suits you so much 8etter. Have I ever told you how much of a loser you were when you were a cripple? It’s a real shame a8out how that had to happen to you.
  330. TAVROS: nO, bUT THANK YOU FOR SAYING SO,
  331. TAVROS: i MEAN, fOR THE GOOD STUFF YOU SAID, nOT NECESSARILY THE BAD STUFF,
  332. VRISKA: You’re welcome! Now, how do those 8ad 8oys handle on stairs?
  333. TAVROS: i DON’T KNOW, BUT I’VE BEEN ADVISED TO STAY AWAY FROM THEM,
  334. VRISKA: Worst advice you could ever receive. I demand that you spend the next several hours mastering stairs.
  335. TAVROS: uHHH,
  336. VRISKA: Come on, what would that fakey 8ullshit fantasy asshole Rufio say a8out this?
  337. TAVROS: oH, mAN, hE WOULD MOST SURELY BE ALL ABOUT ME CLIMBING LOTS OF STAIRS,
  338. TAVROS: pER THE REASSURANCES THAT i PRETEND HE SAYS, aND ALL THE SELF ESTEEM HE INSISTS ME TO HAVE,
  339. VRISKA:  Exactly! Now hop to it, and don’t think twice a8out it, or I’ll know. We don’t want to have to do it the hard way now, do we?
  340. TAVROS: oH MY GOD,
  341.  
  342. *Equius
  343. >Talk to Equius.
  344. VRISKA: I must say, I am really disgusted 8y how you’ve resorted to following orders from that low class slo8 with the hideous mutant blood.
  345. VRISKA: I thought you were 8etter than that! I thought WE were 8etter than that.
  346. EQUIUS: D --> I...
  347. EQUIUS: D --> You’re absolutely right, it’s disgraceful
  348. EQUIUS: D --> I think it is possibly time to admit I have some sort of problem
  349. EQUIUS: D --> I would very much like to honor my position on the hemospectrum and mistreat those beneath me, and yet...
  350. VRISKA: Whoa, alright! I was just messing with you, dude. As if I really give a shit a8out any of that!
  351. VRISKA: Hahahahahahahaha.
  352.  
  353. *Kanaya
  354. >Talk to Kanaya.
  355. VRISKA: Pst!
  356. KANAYA: Yes
  357. VRISKA: Hey, what’s your deal?
  358. KANAYA: ...
  359. VRISKA: I’m talking to you!
  360. KANAYA: What Do You Want
  361. VRISKA: Nothing really! It’s just you haven’t said one word to me since we got here.
  362. VRISKA: In fact, we’ve hardly spoken in weeks! Not since you gave me that nice dress.
  363. KANAYA: Oh Sorry I Hadnt Really Noticed
  364. VRISKA: That was gr8, remem8er that? What happened to all that? You used to meddle and 8ug and fuss over me all the time. It was annoying, 8ut kinda fun!
  365. KANAYA: Do You Want Me To
  366. VRISKA: I don’t know. It would 8e cool if we could catch up some time though.
  367. KANAYA: Whats There Really To Catch Up On
  368. VRISKA: Whatever! Stuff. Anything!
  369. VRISKA: You are really strange, fussyfangs. I don’t get you anymore.
  370. KANAYA: Okay
  371. VRISKA: That was some pretty sweet chainsaw work earlier. Pretty 8rutal, really! Didn’t think you had it in you.
  372. VRISKA: Hey, you weren’t settling a score with him there 8y any chance?
  373. KANAYA: What
  374. VRISKA: I’ve got a pretty keen nose for revenge. Could it 8e that you had a thing for him and were upset when he went for me instead? Hmmmmmmmm?
  375. KANAYA: Did He Really “Go” For You
  376. KANAYA: Thats Not How I Remember It
  377. VRISKA: Yes, I think I must 8e on to something here! Anyway if that’s case, sorry a8out the 8ad 8r8k!
  378. KANAYA: Could You Leave Me Alone
  379. VRISKA: Hey, which one are you spying on there? Someone new to meddle with?
  380. KANAYA: I Said Leave
  381. VRISKA: Fiiiiiiiine, god.
  382.  
  383. *Gamzee
  384. >Talk to Gamzee.
  385. GAMZEE: VrIsKa hEy yOu wAnT To uH...
  386. VRISKA: What?
  387. GAMZEE: ShIt, I WaS AlL GoInG To aSk iF YoU WaNtEd tO HoP In tHe hOrN PiLe fOr a bIt oF MoThErFuCkIn sHuTeYe, BuT...
  388. GAMZEE: I DoN’T ThInK I WiLl cAuSe i’m pReTtY MuCh sCaTeD Of yOu, So yEaH.
  389. VRISKA: Aww. ::::)
  390.  
  391. *Eridan
  392. >Talk to Eridan.
  393. VRISKA: Hey.
  394. ERIDAN: hey
  395. VRISKA: So........
  396. ERIDAN: wwhats up
  397. VRISKA: Nothing.
  398. VRISKA: Standing by the old horn pile I see.
  399. ERIDAN: yup
  400. VRISKA: Yeah........
  401. VRISKA: Ok then. Carry on I guess.
  402. ERIDAN: god damn vvris wwhys it still got to be so flippin awwkwward like this come on
  403. ERIDAN: wwe used to havve a good thing goin remember our campaigns
  404. ERIDAN: that shit wwas epic wwhere are you evven goin to find a rivvalry like that
  405. VRISKA: It was fun, Eridan. While it lasted.
  406. VRISKA: 8ut it ran its course! I don’t know what else to tell you.
  407. ERIDAN: oh as if im not so ovver it please spare me your disdain mindfang
  408. ERIDAN: im wworkin on finding a neww rivvalry wwhichll make ours look like a kiddie game
  409. ERIDAN: wwhich oh by the wway IT WWAS
  410. VRISKA: If you say so, Dualscar! 8est of luck with that.
  411. VRISKA: Too 8ad the luck’s all mine now! Hahahaha.
  412.  
  413. >Be Future Eridan
  414. [You are now briefly Future Eridan, in the future.]
  415. >Talk to Vriska
  416. ERIDAN: fuck that fuckin wwitch bleww up my computer
  417. ERIDAN: ok not literally the wwitch as in thats not literally her title or anything
  418. ERIDAN: the seer i guess
  419. ERIDAN: fuckin lousy no good goddamn rotten seer
  420. VRISKA: Eridan! Do I detect 8lack romance in the air????????
  421. VRISKA: <3< <3< <3< <3< <3< <3< <3< <3<
  422. ERIDAN: shut yer spidertrap wwitch there are serious emotions happening ovver here
  423.  
  424.  
  425. TEREZI_
  426. *Karkat
  427. >Talk to Karkat.
  428. TEREZI: 4R3NT YOU 4T L34ST 4 L1TTL3 D1S4PPO1NT3D W3 N3V34 GOT TO H4NG OUT TOG3TH3R ON PROSP1T?
  429. KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW. I GUESS?
  430. KARKAT: IT’S NOT LIKE WE DIDN’T GET TO HANG OUT PLENTY OF OTHER PLACES.
  431. TEREZI: YOU DONT G3T 1T! TH3R3 W3R3 4LL TH1NGS 1 W4S PL44N1NG ON SHOW1NG YOU 4ND STUFF W3 COULD H4V3 DON3 TOG3TH3R
  432. TEREZI: 1T W4S SUPPOS3D TO B3 SP3C14L DUMMY
  433. KARKAT: WHAT WAS SO SPECIAL ABOUT IT? THE FACT THAT IT WAS A MOON MADE OF GOLD?
  434. KARKAT: BIG DEAL. THE PLACE WAS WAY TOO BRIGHT AND GARISH.
  435. TEREZI: 444444RGH, YOU 4R3 SO FRUSTR4T1NG!
  436. TEREZI: JUST
  437. TEREZI: N3V3R M1ND >:[
  438.  
  439. *Sollux
  440. >Talk to Sollux.
  441. SOLLUX: are you 2tiill 2pyiing on that iin2ufferable priick.
  442. SOLLUX: 2eriiou2ly a dude giive2 a giirl a few buck2 and 2uddenly 2he cant keep her no2e off hiim, iit ii2 2o prediictable.
  443. TEREZI: SHUT UP SOLLUX H3S COOL
  444. TEREZI: 1 DONT G3T WHY YOU DONT L1KE H1M, H3 R3M1NDS M3 OF YOU 4 B1T
  445. SOLLUX: you thiink iim cool?
  446. TEREZI: SOM3T1M3S!
  447. SOLLUX: how often?
  448. SOLLUX: don’t 2ay half the tiime.
  449. TEREZI: >:|
  450. SOLLUX: oh god ii walked riight iinto that one diidn’t ii.
  451.  
  452. *Feferi
  453. >Talk to Feferi.
  454. FEFERI: Terezi, we can’t just )(ide )(ere forever! We )(ave to kill t)(e demon!
  455. TEREZI: 1 KNOW! BUT HOW? H3 SEEMS 1NV1NC1BL3
  456. TEREZI: 1F 4 THOUS4ND 4R4D14BOTS COULDNT K1LL H1M, WH4T HOP3 DO W3 H4V3?
  457. FEFERI: T)(e )(umans! T)(ey are t)(e answer.
  458. TEREZI: H4H4H4H4H4, S3R1OUSLY?
  459. FEFERI: Y----------ES!!! I am sure of it.
  460. TEREZI: UM, OK, 1F YOU S4Y SO F3F3R1!
  461.  
  462. *Aradia
  463. >Talk to Aradia.
  464. ARADIA: 0h is that what feferi thinks
  465. ARADIA: thats nice
  466. ARADIA: havent y0u underst00d anything ab0ut h0w parad0x space w0rks
  467. ARADIA: 0f c0urse they are the s0luti0n
  468. ARADIA: but they are als0 the pr0blem
  469. ARADIA: every effect is als0 its 0wn cause
  470. ARADIA: 0ur tw0 universes exist 0n 0pp0sing sides 0f a m0bius strip which is 0f c0urse n0thing but c0ntradicti0n
  471. ARADIA: enj0y engineering the present c0nundrum as y0u try t0 s0lve it
  472. ARADIA: im c0mpletely d0ne with this
  473. TEREZI: GR34T T4LK1NG TO YOU 4R4D1A, TH4T W4S 4 BL4ST4S USU4L
  474.  
  475. *Nepeta
  476. >Talk to Nepeta.
  477. NEPETA: :33 < terezi!!! so tell me! who is your favorite?
  478. TEREZI: F4VOR1T3 WH4T?
  479. NEPETA: :33< human kid!
  480. NEPETA: :33 < oh of course, you like akwete purrmusk with the black glasses!
  481. NEPETA: :33 < he is pretty cute, but mine is jade
  482. TEREZI: OH R34LLY?
  483. NEPETA: :33 < yes, i have tried to make friends with her, but so far she thinks i am just teasing her!!!!
  484. NEPETA: :33 < its pretty furstrating. i will purrsevere though
  485.  
  486. *Tavros
  487. >Talk to Tavros.
  488. TEREZI: LOOK1NG PR3TTY COOL T4VROS! >:]
  489. TAVROS, tHANKS, i FEEL GREAT, aND REALLY CONFIDENT SUDDENLY,
  490. TAVROS: lIKE, aS IF rUFIO GAVE ME BOTH THE HIGH FIVES HE HAS, aND THEN SORT OF ONE OF THOSE BRO MASSAGES, aS IF TO SAY,
  491. TAVROS: yOU’RE THE CHAMP, oR THAT KIND OF THING,
  492. TEREZI: DONT L3T 4NYON3 3V3R T3LL YOU RUF1O’S NOT R34L
  493. TEREZI: 1F YOU B3L13V3 H4RD 3NOUGH 1N 1M4G1N4RY TH1NGS, TH4T M4K3S TH3M SL1GHTLY L3SS F4K3!
  494. TAVROS: oKAY, tHAT’S GREAT ADVICE TO KNOW,
  495. TAVROS: nOW i’M GOING TO GET SOME MORE LEG PRACTICE IN,
  496. TAVROS: i FEEL LIKE i COULD TAKE ON ALL THE STAIRS IN PARADOX SPACE, aND i JUST PRETENDED AS HARD AS I COULD THAT rUFIO WINKED IN AGREEANCE,
  497. TAVROS: sEE YOU LATER, aFTER, i’M DEFINITELY SUCCESSFUL AT ALL THE THINGS i TRY,
  498.  
  499. *Equius
  500. >Talk to Equius
  501. EQUIUS: D --> It’s mystifying
  502. EQUIUS: D --> In spite of my warnings, he seems absolutely committed to being attracted to cases of stairs like a goshdarned magnetron
  503. EQUIUS: D --> Now that I think about it, I should probably deactivate his pelvic magnetron
  504.  
  505. *Vriska
  506. >Talk to Vriska.
  507. VRISKA: Hey, if it isn’t miss money8ags! How are you enjoying your fa8ulous wealth!
  508. VRISKA: If it was me, I would feel ashamed to get rich that way. 8y having a secret admirer just hand it to me like that, rather than earning it. That’s just me though!
  509. TEREZI: GOD, YOUR J34LOUSLY 1S R1D1CULOUS! NOBODY C4R3S 4BOUT STOCKP1L1NG M34N1NGL3SS TR34SUR3 OT3R TH4N YOU. W1LL YOU GROW UP???
  510. VRISKA: I guess you’re right. I’m just giving you a hard time!
  511. VRISKA: You know, like the good old days. Don’t you miss our friendly rivalry sometimes?
  512. TEREZI: H4H4H4, FR13NDLY?????
  513. VRISKA: Sure! So to speak.
  514. VRISKA: Anyway, just so you know, you’re not the only one who can play a chumpy 8oy, and manipul8 him into doing what you want.
  515. VRISKA: In fact, I’m not even going to use any powers! Just to prove it’s no 8ig deal.
  516. TEREZI: WH4T TH3 H3LL 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG 4BOUT
  517. VRISKA: You’ll see!!!!!!!! Oops, smell. Haha, 8n’t it a 8ummer you never died????????
  518. TEREZI: NO >:P
  519. VRISKA: Oh well. Anyway, let’s get this party started. I declare the chumpy impressiona8le human 8oy-off to 8e........
  520. VRISKA: OOOOOOOON! :::;)
  521. TEREZI: UGH, YOU 4R3 SO CR4ZY
  522.  
  523. *Kanaya
  524. >Talk to Kanaya.
  525. TEREZI: H3Y K4N4Y4, 4R3 YOU ST1LL OGL1NG H3R?
  526. KANAYA: What
  527. KANAYA: Is That What Im Doing
  528. TEREZI: Y3S 1T 1S OBV1OUS
  529. TEREZI: WHY TH3 1NF4TU4T1ON W1TH TH4T P4RT1CUL4R HUM4N
  530. KANAYA: Hmm
  531. KANAYA: I Guess I Find Her Sort Of
  532. KANAYA: Intoxicating
  533. TEREZI: OHHHHHHHHHH???????? >8D
  534. KANAYA: Intoxicatingly Underwhelming
  535. TEREZI: >:?
  536. >Be Future Kanaya.
  537. [You are now briefly Future Kanaya, in the future.]
  538. >Talk to Karkat.
  539. KANAYA: Hey Have You Ever Heard Of The Green Sun
  540. KARKAT: YEAH. IT’S GOT SOMETHING TO DO WITH THEIR PLAN TO KILL NOIR.
  541. KANAYA: I See
  542. KANAYA: Anything More Specific Than That
  543. KARKAT: NOPE. I’VE GOT NO IDEA WHAT IT IS, WHAT IT DOES, WHAT ITS ROLE IN THE PLAN IS, OR IF IT’S GOT ANY CHANCE OF WORKING.
  544. KARKAT: WE SHOULD PROBABLY WORRY ABOUT OUR OWN PROBLEMS.
  545.  
  546. *Gamzee
  547. >Talk to Gamzee.
  548. GAMZEE: HeY CaN I InTeReSt yOu iN KiCkIn tHe wIcKeD ShIt iN ThE HoRn pIlE FoR A FeW ZeEs?
  549. GAMZEE: CoSt yOu oNe pInCh oF SpEcIaL StArDuSt.
  550. TEREZI: TH4NKS G4MZ BUT NO 1 4M NOT T1R3D
  551. TEREZI: 1 M4Y GO FOR 4NOTH3R UN3XP3CT3D HONK JUMP SOON THOUGH
  552. GAMZEE: Oh pLeAsE No dOnT Go mOtHeRfUcKiN GeTtInG My sCaRe oN LiKe tHaT, I CaNt bE HaRdLy hAnDlInG ThAt NoIsE.
  553. TEREZI: SORRY BUT WH3N 4 G1RL H4S TO G3T H3R HONK JUMP ON TH3R3 1S JUST NO STOPP1NG H3R
  554. GAMZEE: OkAy wElL MaYbE WaRn mE ThEn mAyBe.
  555. TEREZI: NO PROM1S3S!
  556. GAMZEE: :o(
  557. TEREZI: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3
  558.  
  559. *Eridan
  560. >Talk to Eridan.
  561. ERIDAN: hey ter can you go givve that four horned mustard blooded land licking sack of rubbish ovver there a message for me
  562. ERIDAN: tell him to put his honey wwhere his mouth is and meet me outside for another duel
  563. TEREZI: 1 4M NOT M3D14T1NG B3TW33N YOU TWO!
  564. TEREZI: S3R1OUSLY, COULD YOU M4K3 YOUR 4DV4NC3S 4NY MOR3 OBV1OUS 3R1D4N?
  565. TEREZI: 1F YOUR3 W4X1NG 4SH3N FOR M3, F1NE, 1... GU3SS 1M FL4TT3R3D???
  566. TEREZI: BUT H3S TOT4LLY NOT 3V3N 1NT3R3ST3D 1N TH3 TYP3 OF
  567. TEREZI: UH...
  568. TEREZI: R1V4LRY YOU WN4T W1TH H1M, OK?
  569. ERIDAN: swweet stinkin murder i am truly pathetic arent i
  570. TEREZI: Y3S, 4BSOLUT3LY
  571.  
  572.  
  573. FUTURE TEREZI_
  574. *Nepeta
  575. >Talk to Nepeta.
  576. TEREZI: *TH3 M1GHTY 4ND 4STOUND1NG DR4GONYYYD L3G1SL4RC3R4TOR 3NT3RS TH3 3ST33M3D POUNC3LLORS OFF1C3 W1TH 4N URG3NT BUT FR13NDLY R3QU1S1T1ON PURS3D M4G1C4LLY 1N H3R M4J3ST1C SNOUT*
  577. NEPETA: :33 < *the distinguished pouncellor nods in the most dignified and legal of manners at the dashing and well dressed legislacerator*
  578. NEPETA: :33 < *she double checks a series of impurrtant legal clawses and rubber stamps them with wild abandon for the most judicial sort of approval pawsible*
  579. NEPETA: :33 < this all looks to be in order! *she said*
  580. NEPETA: :33 < please follow me! :33
  581. NEPETA: :33 < *she also said*