My Roomate Bruno 2: The Smarty Friend

>buy resurgence pack
>med gel, new gun, new gun, power reset, geth infiltrator... again
>still no Batarians
>you've got to stop playing ME3 multiplayer... later
>"pway more stowytiem!", "wanna see stawchiwd!"
>look behind you to see a handful of fluffy ponies on the couch watching you play... again
>they keep managing to bust out of the 'safe room'
>you inspected the room several times when Bruno wasn't around and noticed that there is no possible way it could actually be there
>it's much bigger on the inside
>Tardis.jpg
>as far as you can tell it's not actually a room but some kind of Narnian Portal to a fluffy reserve
>you should really ask Bruno about all this...one more round, then you'll ask him
>"pway stowy mode!"
>oh right, the audience
*sigh*
>ignore them and set up another gold match
>the one who kept shouting starts to bawl while the others give him hugs
>"hugs make betta" they babble
>Bruno walks in carrying a bunch more fluffies
>he carries about five of them under one arm and holds a tiny carrier with the other arm
>sets the carrier down and lets the other fluffies frolic about in the apartment
>they, almost instinctively are drawn to the couch to watch your match
>Bruno walks over
>sees the two groups join together
>"Anon, were you messing with the safe room door?"
>you begin visibly sweating
Uh... no.
>how did he know?
>"Whatever, just don't do it again."
>He sits down and starts to pet the fluffy horde
>"huggies!", "feew gud!", "Bwuno!" they cheer
Need any help getting the little puff balls back?
>"I got it."
>with a single motion he lifts all ten fluffies with one hand and waltzes over to the safe room
>"Bwuno stwong!" one of the fluffies cheers
>he ain't just whistlin' Dixie
>fluffy ponies may not be heavy, but you'd think it'd take more effort to wrangle them all single handed
>Bruno returns a second later and brings over the carrying case from before
>looking at it, there seems to be one more fluffy in the case, a dark blue unicorn
What about that little guy, ain't you gonna put him in the safe room?
>Bruno sighs
>"It's complicated."
What'cha mean?
>"This one has an... attitude problem."
>"Wet Smawty Fwiend out! Me give oo big ouchies!"
*blink blink*
Smarty Friend?
>"It's what the Alphas call themselves."
>"Smawty Fwiend kiww munstas! Give back huwd!"
Why can't we just put him in with the others?
>"Smarty Friends have a nasty habit of rousing anti human sentiments in other fluffies. Makes my job of caring for them harder. And shelters don't want them, too hard to deal with."
What exactly is your job, Bruno?
>he just stares at you
Uh... nevermind.
>"I gotta find someway to socialize him."
>the smarty friend continues to scream and throw a temper tantrum
Jeez, why don't you just ki-...
>You don't even finish before Bruno starts giving you the stare again
You know what, why don't I look after him for ya?
>He lifts his eyebrow questioningly
What, it's just one fluffy. I'm sure I can take care of him.
>"And you're sure you won't just get bored and off him?" he asks incredulously
Hey come on Bruno, I'm a lover not a killer.
>you take this excellent moment to launch a Cobra missile right into the center of an Atlas mech, much to the chagrin of Bruno
Boosh!
>Bruno sighs
>"Fine, you can watch him, but only because I've got another 'appointment'. Just watch after him till I get back. Don't let him in with the other fluffies till I get back. There's fluffy chow in the pantry and spaghetti in the freezer. And so help me god Anon, if that fluffy is in any way worse for the ware when I get back..."
>he cracks his knuckles
*gulp*
>"I'll be back later tonight."
>Bruno walks out, leaving you with the annoying fluff ball now trying to buck his way out of the carrier
>"Hooman Musta wet Smawty out."
It's gonna be a long night.