salad on strike

[The episode opens in Fortuna. Nef Anyo is in his office with an adding machine, singing]
Nef Anyo: ♪Counting my money, money sweeter than honey, money, money, this, money, money, that, profits will make my wallet fat!♪
[His eyes bug out at the ticker tape]
Nef Anyo: What?! Profits down three dollars from last month! I need to start running a tighter ship around here!
[Meanwhile, Alad V is helping Eudico in his ordering boat at the dining area of Fortuna]
Alad V: Thank you for choosing the Fortuna. Here's your change.
[Gives Eudico a dollar, and she walks off. Nef Anyo approaches him]
Nef Anyo: Mr. Alad V!
Alad V: What?
Nef Anyo: What's with all this "change" nonsense?
[Zora walks over, knotting her tie]
Zora: Over and under, grab the end, put it through here, up and around, round the horn, bring it back home.
Nef Anyo: Hmm? Zora! I’m not paying you to play dress up! [Alad V becomes exasperated, and sighs deeply] Breathe on your own time. I don't pay you to breathe.
Alad V: You hardly pay us at all!
Nef Anyo: Oh, that reminds me. I have something for you.
[He hands his employees envelopes]
Alad V: Ah, yes! Our meager restitution. [He takes the envelope and smells it] Ah, the sweet smell of payday. [He opens it and enclosed is a pair of underwear] Huh?
Nef Anyo: Oh, sorry, that's my dry cleaning. [Trades envelopes with him] Here's your check.
[He gives Zora an envelope as well]
Nef Anyo: And here's yours, Zora.
Zora: I can't accept your money, Nef Anyo. [Holds up her spatula] Grilling is my passion!
[Nef Anyo greedily takes the envelope back]
Alad V: What is this!?! [He sees that there is a bill instead of a check. It charges Alad V for breathing, talking, standing, existing, lollygagging, and the Zanuka project] You're making me pay you to stand at the cash register? What is the meaning of this? Have you gone off the deep end?
Nef Anyo: There's going to be a few changes around here. Every time I catch you two goofing off, I'm gonna charge you for it.
[Zora walks up to Nef Anyo, preparing money for him]
Zora: 18... 19... and... 20. Here you go, Mr. A. I think this should cover all my nonsense. Oh, and here's an extra fifty cents for when I was tying my shoe. [Nef Anyo is drooling over Zora's cash, and Alad V pulls Zora towards him]
Alad V: Uh, Zora? What do you think you're doing?
Zora: I'm just giving Nef Anyo the money I owe him.
Alad V: Well, I'm not paying that cheapskate Anyo one cent, and I suggest you do the same.
Zora: Why?
Alad V: We've got to unite as workers and demand the respect we deserve from the boss! In fact, you and I should go on strike!
Zora: Wow! You and me go on strike?
Alad V: Sure! After all, you like your job, right?
Zora: Right!
Alad V: And you want to keep working here, right?
Zora: Right!
Alad V: And while you work here, you expect to be treated fairly, right?
Zora: Right!
Alad V: Then let's go on strike!
Zora: Yay! A strike! [She starts to sing excitedly] ♪Goin' on a strike! We’re goin' on a strike!♪ I still don't know what a strike means. ♪But we're goin' on a strike!♪ [She inadvertently kicks Nef Anyo in the butt as Anyo sweeps the floor] Hey, guess what, Nef Anyo? Me and Alad V are going to go on strike!
Nef Anyo: A strike?
Zora: Yeah.
Nef Anyo: You mean you're going to make picket signs?
Zora: Yeah.
Nef Anyo: And you're going to make protest speeches?
Zora: Yeah, yeah!
Nef Anyo: And you're going to demand me respect?
Zora: Yeah! [Cut to Zora sobbing outside of Fortuna] Noo... [Alad V is with her] No! Alad V! You didn't tell me I was gonna get fired! Without Fortuna, I-I-I... [He cries more] Oh, Alad V, could you hold me? I think I'm gonna be sick.
Alad V: Zora! [He grabs Zora and pulls her off the door, but her arms and legs stick] News flash, Zora! I got fired, too! [Zora is suctioned to the door. Alad V pulls her off again, and this time her face remains pressed against the door] This is exactly why we need to go on strike. [Zora flies back to the door. Alad V pulls her off once more, and this time Zora's front sticks to the door, and we can see her skeleton and internal organs on her other side] He can't treat us like this anymore! [Zora goes back to the door and Alad V's eyes become bloodshot] He owes us for all the precious, irretrievable moments we've wasted in this trash heap. [Zora and Alad V look through the door to see Nef Anyo blowing dust off his old "Help Wanted" sign] Soon, he'll realize he needs us more than we need him. We are workers united! [Zora holds Alad V's hand] Ahem.
Zora: [withdraws her hand] Sorry.
Alad V: Just do exactly as I say, Zora, and in no time, you'll have your job back and more.
Zora: And more?
[She imagines herself in her Solaris United uniform hat, except her hat is much bigger]
Alad V: Alright, Zora, now listen up. I'm going to have to teach you how to strike. First, we must get rid of our uniforms, [He takes off his hat] they are a symbol of our oppression. I want you to throw your hat on the ground like so. [Alad V throws it into the ground and stomps on it] Now, stomp it into the dust! Your turn, Zora. [Zora hesitantly takes her hat off] That's the idea. Now, throw it on the ground.
[Zora attempts to do so, but the hat sticks to her hand despite the fact she no longer has any grip on it]
Zora: [screams in frustration] I can't do it, Alad V. This hat is my friend! It never oppressed me.
Alad V: Zora, you're pathetic. Look, I threw my hat to the ground.
[A police fish walks up to Alad V with a ticket]
Frohd Bek: Aha! A confession! Next time, think before you litter.
[He sticks the ticket to Alad V's forehead and leaves. Later, Alad V and Zora are painting signs]
Alad V: Okay, pay attention, Zora. Now we're going to make picket signs. This is a very important part of striking.
[Zora holds up a picket fence on a stick]
Zora: Like this, Alad V?
Alad V: Not a picket fence, you ding-dong. Picket sign!
[Zora holds up a sign that has a finger picking a nose]
Zora: How's this?
Alad V: ...No. [Picks up his] This is a picket sign: Fortuna Unfair. Short, sweet, and to the point. [Zora holds up her similar one that reads "Fortuna Funfair"]
Zora: How about this, Alad V?
Alad V: Zora, it's "unfair," not "funfair"!
[A fish walks by]
Crewman: A funfair? Where? I could go for some fun.
Zora: At the Fortuna.
Crewman: Hey, everybody! Let's go to the fun fair! [A crowd of people trample Alad V to get the restaurant. Later, Zora is holding a sign that says "No Fair!" on it]
Zora: Fortuna is unfair! Nef Anyo is in there! Standing at the concession! Plotting his oppression!
[A teenager with a cap and braces walks up]
Teenage Fry Cook: What the heck does that mean?
Zora: I don't know. Alad V told me to yell it at people.
Teenage Fry Cook: Then you must be Zora TennoPants!
Zora: Yep!
Teenage Fry Cook: Dude, you are like a fry cook legend! Will you sign my spatula?
[He pulls out a pen]
Zora: Anything for an aspiring fry cook. [Zora signs the spatula] So, did you come down to help out the cause?
Teenage Fry Cook: No, I came to take your job.
[Zora is shocked. The fish grabs his spatula and pen and runs into the Fortuna to apply for a job]
Teenage Fry Cook: Hey, thanks, dude!
[Alad V walks up and bellows at Zora through the megaphone so loudly that her facial features fall off, and she flies away.]
Alad V: Attention, Zora! You are a terrible striker! [Zora inserts her eyes into their sockets] You just let your replacement cross our picket line without so much as a single threat.
Zora: I'm sorry, Alad V. [She holds up a sign reading, "I Heart Fortuna"] How about I try the signs again?
Alad V: [into megaphone] Forget the signs! I've got something for you to do. Go stand over there.
[Zora stands next to a telephone pole]
Zora: Like this, Alad V?
Alad V: Almost. A little more to the right. And... perfect. [We see that Zora is now hidden behind the telephone pole. As Alad V begins to speaks, a crowd gathers] Attention, people of Bikini Bottom! You have been cheated and lied to!
Maroo: I knew it!
[She slaps Teshin]
Alad V: The gentle laborer shall no longer suffer from the noxious greed of Nef Anyo!
[The crowd cheers]
Sargas Ruk: Hey, what's that guy talking about?
Vor: I don't know, but he's got a megaphone.
Alad V: We will dismantle oppression board by board! We'll saw the foundation of big business in half, even if it takes an eternity!
[The crowd cheers]
Zora: [From behind pole] Gee, I don't know what Alad V's talking about, but he sure sounds convincing.
Alad V: With your support, we will send the hammer of the people's will crashing through the windows of Nef Anyo' house of servitude!
[He speaks into Lech Kril's face, and his eyes shoot into the back of his head. Then, they return to their sockets. Everyone cheers]
Lancer: Wow, all this supporting is making me hungry.
Crewman: Hey, everybody! Let's go get a Krabby Patty.
[Everyone cheers and run into the Fortuna, once again trampling Alad V]
Alad V: Nobody gives a care about the fate of labor as long as they can get their instant gratification.
[Zora walks up to him]
Zora: That was a great speech, Alad V. You practically had them eating out of your hands.
Nef Anyo: But they didn't, did they, Mr. Alad V? 'Cause they were too busy eating out of mine. I wish you two had gone on strike earlier. Thanks for attracting all these paying customers with all your signage and your sloganeering!
Zora: Alright, Nef Anyo. You've gone too far this time. You can pick on me, but Alad V is a great leader. We are workers united! We're tired of your smelly greed! And we're gonna saw all your tables, and we're gonna smash stuff with the people's hammer. And we're gonna... we're gonna... Alad V, what was that other part?
Alad V: Dismantle your oppressive establishment?
Zora: Yeah, that, too!
[Nef Anyo pretends to yawn and leaves]
Zora: And me and Alad V are gonna stay on strike until we get what we deserve! Even if it takes forever!
[Alad V's eyes become bloodshot. Zora's voice echoes "forever" in Alad V's mind as he opens the door to his house, takes a bath, looks in the mirror, and sits in bed, wide-eyed. He seems to have a case of insomnia as the word haunts him]
Alad V: On strike with Zora... forever?! [He imagines himself as an old man with a white beard holding a sign reading, "Fortuna Still Unfair." Cobwebs branch from him to the ground. An old Zora approaches him, supported by a cane]
Zora: Hey, Alad V. I bet old man Anyo is gonna break any day. [tugs Alad V's beard] Eh, Alad V? Eh, Alad V? [bonks Alad V on the head with his cane] Nyeh, Alad V? Nyeh, Alad V? [floats around Alad V] Nyeh, Alad V? Nyeh, Alad V?
[Back to reality as Alad V lies in bed screaming]
Alad V: I gotta beg Nef Anyo for my job back and put an end to this nightmare!
[He runs to the door and opens it, and Anyo is there in his nightclothes, about to knock on it]
Nef Anyo: Oh! Uh, evening, Mr. Alad V. Uh... I was just in the neighborhood and I, uh... thought I'd drop by to... beg you to come back to work! Fortuna is a wreck! I'm ruined without you and the little yellow guy. [He grovels at Alad V's feet] The teenagers I hired are ruining the place! And the worst part is, they won't leave me alone! [The teenagers appear right outside the door]
Teenagers: Alright, Nef Anyo! [They give him the thumbs up]
Nef Anyo: See what I mean? [sobbing] Alad V, please! You gotta come back!
Alad V: You'll give us anything we want?
Nef Anyo: Yes, anything. So what do you say, Mr. Alad V?
Alad V: Your story breaks my heart, Nef Anyo. Why don't we take a little walk and, uh... discuss my terms?
Nef Anyo: I have a bad feeling in the pit of my wallet.
[Meanwhile, at Zora's stolen freighter, where she sits on her bed listening to Nora Night’s pirate station]
Zora: Gee, being on strike with Alad V sure is a kick. Alad V's words are still buzzing around in my head like an angry kubrow. Alad V was right! I can't just sit here, it's time for action! [She kicks open her front door, hammer and saw in hand. She runs to Fortuna and into the dining room] I will restore the working man to his rightful glory. I will dismantle this oppressive establishment board by board! [She pulls up a loose floorboard. She then saws a table in half] I will saw the tables of tyranny in half. Gnaw at the ankles of big business! [She takes a bite out of a wooden column. Mouth full] Alad V will be so proud!
[Cut to Alad V and Anyo, now fully dressed, walking to Fortuna at dawn]
Nef Anyo: Well, Alad V, those were intense negotiations.
Alad V: I'm glad you saw it our way, Nef Anyo.
Nef Anyo: Now I can fire those teenagers and get my two golden boys back. Well, see you at work!
[Alad V sees a disassembled Fortuna and screams. Anyo seems not to notice and hums as he puts his key where the door used to be, unlocking nothing. Zora peeks out from the mangled sign pole. She runs out, trying to hold in her laughter]
Alad V: S-Sp-Zora! W-W-What have you done?
Zora: I did exactly as you said, Alad V. I dismantled the establishment! Now we'll get our jobs back for sure.
[Anyo walks through the rubble of the Fortuna, oblivious, and sits in his chair. Only then does he see the debris. Only the floor and base of the walls remain, so when he looks straight ahead from his chair, he can see Alad V and Zora at the dilapidated door frame. Anyo's arms pop off followed by his eyes. His head slides off his torso and onto the floor where his nose falls out of it. Then his pelvis and legs fall out of his chair]
Nef Anyo: Alad V! Zora!
[Zora is excited, but Alad V is nervous]
Both: Yes, Nef Anyo?
Zora: Here it comes!
Nef Anyo: In order to pay off these damages, you two are gonna work for me forever!
Zora: Ya-hoo! The strike worked, Alad V! We got our jobs back! Forever!
["Forever" once again echoes inside Alad V's mind, and the camera zooms in on his bloodshot eyes]
Narrator: One eternity later...
[Fortuna is shown to have full of dust, but without any customers. Cobwebs are everywhere. A skeleton Alad V brushes off the floor, and a skeleton Zora waits in the ordering boat.]