Reminiscence

>The night has reached its peak, the ponies of the city under the watch of the glowing, enchanting, gentle moon.
>The stars above were twinkling, the wind gently howling in the cool and calm night.
>The Princess herself hasn't been in the best of moods lately, not that anyone would know, not even her sister. Luna still keeps secrets from Celestia, even to this day, their relationship never fully healing.
>She decides, in her loneliness, to go and take a trip down memory lane.
>Without waiting for too long, she trots over to her bedroom, and opens the doors to the balcony.
>She stares out into the populated city of Canterlot, seeing how the typically busy streets were now as empty as they can be. It's always such a bizarre sight to behold.
>A city seemingly full of life and energy during the day was so quiet and peaceful during these later hours of the night.
>Soon enough, she unfolds her wings, flaps them a couple times, and takes flight into the night, heading up into the sky to soar to her heart's content.
>However tonight is not about the journey, rather it is about revisiting an old home.
>The Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, located within the depths of the Everfree Forest.
>If she really wanted to, Luna could be there within minutes, but she decides to take a more scenic route, travelling through the streets of Canterlot, flying through Ponyville, and roaming through the trees of the Everfree Forest, sight-seeing and reminiscing on the memories she's had there, from a thousand years ago and more.
>Eventually she makes her way to the castle.
>Her eyes widen at first, not believing what she was seeing.
>The castle seemed brand new, but then it occurred to her that Celestia had Twilight and her friends to restore the place not all that long ago.
>She's hesitant to enter at first, perhaps reliving the past might not be the best course of action.
>Something inside her heart, however, eggs her to go on.
>It doesn't take long for Luna to enter on through.
>The Castle is as large, grand, and spacious as she remembered it.
>The old banners of yesteryear remained hanging after all these millenia, no doubt having been restored to their former glory by Twilight and no doubt, Rarity.
>She gazed upon the dark decor, the lights of the building having long since faded into the darkness.
>Luna sought to change that, and lit up every single nook and cranny.
>It seemed that within seconds, the life that the castle once had, had all returned.
>It was then that the memories started to flood back en masse.
>A hurricane of nostalgia had flooded her mind, her heart feeling a strange heaviness, and yet, a strange happiness as well.
>She began to roam the halls slowly, her eyes closely examining every single detail of these concrete walls.
>She soon stopped for a moment, and walked right up to a wall, right next to a lantern which she had lit with a gentle blue flame which was burning quite brightly.
>It seems that, if she looked close enough, there was a faint reflection on this wall.
>In fact, all the walls had this mystifying effect.
>She was unsure if it was her mind playing tricks on her, or if there was some deeper meaning, and yet, her reflection did not seem to be her.
>No, the reflection was of the darkness inside, the darkness that had been looming for millenia.
>When she stared into the reflection, and it stared back, she saw it none other than her alter-ego, Nightmare Moon.
>Her ears drooped, her eyes looking down and away, her legs reflexively moving her backwards.
>How could this be?
>The darkness she thought she was rid of, still lurked in the halls of this grand castle.
>Her mind, her body, both were telling her to get out.
>Yet, the curious heart made her press on forward through the large, now mysterious, ancient castle.
>She was determined to relive her past, even the darker memories.
>She had believed that it was thanks to these memories, that she is the strong mare she is today.
>The matured alicorn Princess trotted through the cobweb ridden, dusty pathways
>As she roamed, memories of her foalhood flashed before her eyes.
>In one sector, Luna and her sister would always play hide and go seek.
>This sector was lined with suits of armour from the early Equestrian days.
>They truly showed their antiquity now, compared to the modern Equestrian guard.
>Luna reflects on a time that the two of them were playing their games, and she wound up doing something that escalated into complete silliness.
>With a blink of an eye, it's like she's there again, witnessing it for the first time.
>The foal Luna was being a crafty little hider, and she decided she would hide herself in one of the suits of armour.
>She winds up successfully climbing in the suit, letting out a soft little giggle in excitement!
>She found the perfect hiding spot!
>Surely Tia wouldn't be able to find her now!
>There was just one problem though.
>She was actually the seeker this round.
>Oops.
>Eventually, Tia comes out of hiding to start finding other hiding spots, and trying to look for Luna, wondering if she was even playing anymore.
>As she hears hoofsteps, she assumes it's Luna, so she quickly hops into the nearest suit of armour, as there wasn't much else hiding in the hall, besides a few plants she could maybe squeeze into comically.
>As luck would have it, the white filly winds up picking the same exact suit of armour.
>"Oof! What did I just hit?" The white filly quietly asked to no one in particular.
>"How?!" Luna exclaimed as she looked up, and saw a small white rump in her face, that sun marking on her flanks just barely visible.
>"Luna? That you? What are you doing in here?" Tia questioned confusedly... The sound of hoofsteps growing nearer all the while.
>"Hmph! I might as well ask you the same... It's like you knew where I was!" the small little Luna replied with a pouty look on her face... not that Celestia could see it.
>Those hoofsteps soon stop.>Luna and Tia both try to look at each other as they soon hear the hoofsteps stop.
>They shush themselves up, and Tia peeks out the sight hole to try and find anyone there.
>And to her surprise, she can't find a single other living being around.
>"Tia... Can you get out now? I'm kind of uncomfortable with your flank in my face."
>Celestia giggled a little bit, and instead tried to wiggle her flank in Luna's face, just to upset her a bit.
>Luna huffed out at her sister, but eventually found her sense of humour, and started giggling along with her, plotting her revenge all the while.
>The two of them are now giggling a bit loudly.
>They had no reason to keep quiet, right?
>So they giggled and giggled, soon losing control of themselves and toppling over the suit of armour they were hiding in.
>As soon as they crawl out of the suit, Star Swirl is right there looking at them with a rather disappointed face.
>The sisters look up to the elderly stallion, their eyes like those of a puppy dog.
>It's obvious to Star Swirl that it's just a ploy, fillies always knew how to guilt trip with their cuteness, but he was too old for their shit and saw right through them... but they saw right through him too.
>Soon the three of them burst into a laugh for a short while, the stallion helping the two mares up.
>"Now now. I know this was a lot of fun and all, but you can't just always goof off in this big Castle! You need to keep up with your studies, you know."
>He could hardly keep a straight face on, knowing the two foals were hardly the most dedicated students, and that they were not the most interested in some dusty old spell books he had lying around.
>With another blink of an eye, Luna's back to the present day, that one suit of armour still having some scratch marks and a small dent from its fall.
>She lets out a little sigh, and wiped a tear from her eye with her wing.
>These were happy memories and yet...
>There was something so sad about reliving them...>Luna shook her head.
>Once more, she found a lantern, and went to the concrete wall near it.
>She stared deeply into it, and once more, the reflection stared back.
>The vision of Nightmare Moon returned, and it had grinned at her widely and sinisterly.
>Luna managed to strangely crack a smile, and even laughed a little bit to herself
>The sounds of her laughter echoed through the halls of the empty castle, until they faded into nothingness.
>Something about seeing that old persona of her's again, despite the initial fear and knock back, made her feel nervous, and yet, happy.
>If anything, it was a sign that she has not forgotten how long she has come; what she had to do to gain what she wanted the most.
>As if it was sentient, Luna waved goodbye to the reflection with stride... and out of the corner of her eye?
>She noticed that the reflection had waved back with the same kind of grin as before.
>Nightmare Moon was as malevolent as ever, even within the depths of the mare's heart.
>Luna nervously laughed in response, although this laugh was much more quiet and out of a fear reflex rather than a joyous one.
>Nonetheless, her heart urged her to move forward, as all the dust and echoes of the past resonated with her.
>Every single nook and cranny of the castle seemed to hold a special memory for her.
>Memories from foalhood to adulthood were all spread out here.
>Eventually, with all her wandering about, she stumbles upon an old, old door, with the markings of a stallion she hasn't seen in ages, ever since his mysterious disappearance.
>She used her magic to unlock the door, clearing her head of all the memories that kept swarming her.
>Eventually, she found a way to break this magic lock, and the door slowly crept open to reveal a dusty old room.
>It's decrepit, and overgrown.
>Seems that Twilight either never found this area of the castle, or that she couldn't open the door.
>It was haunting to see. Despite its age, it seems everything was untouched.>It was incredible.
>For the first time, she really got a good visual on how much time has passed since those good old days of her youth.
>To see something so special in such a ruin state nearly tore her to shreds.
>Without realizing it, she had begun to tear up, some water slowly making it down her cheek.
>Her mind flashed her back to much darker times.
>It was the night that he had disappeared.
>Luna and Celestia were at constant tension with one another at this point, both of them growing cold to one another.
>Luna could sense the darkness that lurked in her past self's heart, feeling the familiar, crippling, corrupting heaviness once more.
>Luna saw the discourse play out all over again.
>The arguments between her and her sister seemed to flash before her eyes, and on that specific night, Star Swirl had stepped in to try and break the two up, prevent a fight.
>His actions only made things worse, and it was Luna herself who personally lashed out at him, and physically abused the ageing stallion.
>This was the final straw for the warlock, and he was found to have disappeared by the next day.
>This one single lashing out...
>This is what made Luna's heart sink.
>It was because of her that the world's greatest warlock was now gone, probably forever.
>As she continued to gaze around, laughter from before seemed to echo in.
>Before she realized that didn't make sense.
>It would have been impossible.
>Then it hit her.
>Something about this place was still, very much, magical.
>The reflections on the wall...
>Could they be more than just an illusion?
>This troubled Luna deeply, as she began to shake and shiver.
>It took a moment for her to take in a deep breath, and gain her bearings.
>With some pacing around, and clearing of thoughts, the echoing laughter soon seemed to vanish.
>Luna still didn't wholly understand what was going on, but that wasn't a priority for her.
>She was still focused on the past, and on Star Swirl, remembering some fun memories too.>Luna focused on the good times, the times that truly mattered.
>Star Swirl was the closest thing that the two sisters had to a father, and they were very close with him.
>Luna fondly remembers being quite the daddy's mare, always sucking up to Star Swirl, trying to impress him with her magical abilities.
>Despite living in Celestia's shadow, she still does remember love from both her sister and Star Swirl.
>They constantly laughed and played together, had fun magic battles, read silly stories, read scary stories, read emotional stories, it was quite the time to be alive.
>They seemed to be a happy family, until the teenage years, and young adulthood, where the fact that Luna was constantly in Celestia's shadow started to emotionally cripple her to her core.
>When her mind starts to take her to those dark places again, she shakes her head and refocuses.
>"Perhaps it is best that I shall leave this area... go venture elsewhere in the castle..." The Princess thought to herself.
>Luna proceeds to dig into the dirt present in the room, and leaves her mark, a crescent moon.
>She would always do this when she was little, playing silly games of territory with her sister.
>This time, it was for another reason.
>It was as if it was her way of paying respects to the memories that this place had held.
>Wiping some tears from her face once more, using her wings, the Princess turns around and starts to trot out the door.
>However, before she's gone, she looks back one more time, and lets out a very vocal "Farewell, old friend...", before shutting the room, and magically sealing it so that no one else may disturb what precious memories lie in there, and what remains of the past.
>Going out, down the hall, and to the left, she wanders the living chambers of the Castle, the personal rooms that the Princesses shared when they were little.
>At long last, she had encountered her own private room, hidden away with magic>This room brought back lots of memories, just like the others did.
>Besides some spiders, cobwebs, and dust, the room is left exactly as it was on that fateful night.
>It's a typical young adult room.
>Messy.
>Disorganized.
>It's apparent that Luna was troubled, just by how scattered everything was.
>The room was coloured a dark purple, and there was a single skylight that would allow the light of the sun and moon inside.
>There was a nice and big bed she procured for herself, for those nights that she didn't want to sleep in the same room as her big sister.
>There's a dresser, where some socks were lying.
>Behind the dresser, perfectly aligned with its top, was a mirror, with a rim that bared her insignia.
>It was as personally customized as it could get.
>Littered around the carpeted floor are pages of different books.
>One paper details the power of dark magic.
>Another provides some spells to cast.
>One paper next to the socks on the dresser is a private diary entry, dated the day of the "Eternal Night" that was created by the corrupted Lunar Princess.
>She sighed out to herself as she laid down in her bed, staring up at the ceiling, her eyes soon being drawn to the skylight.
>She stared out towards the moon, stretching out a hoof.
>Those dark memories have come back again.
>The familiar comfort of the bed, the gentle glowing of the moon, it all brought her back to her younger years, a millenia ago.
>Even the dark memories had some light in them, however.
>There were some times of happiness, some glimmers of hope.
>Hope that she would not have to go to the extreme and take control to get the respect she felt she deserved.
>She used her magic to get that page of her diary and bring it over to herself.
>Reading it over, it stunned her.
>It wasn't filled with hate, as she had expected.
>It was filled with regret and sorrow.
>She read the conflicted words and it all came flooding back to her.
>She had to put on a strong face... but that's all it was
>She couldn't help but continue reading and re-reading the words that were housed on the ancient, brittle parchment.
>The page itself looked as if it was ready to crumble away at a moment's notice.
>"Dear Diary:" This entry read, like most others.
>"Today is the deciding day. I am forced to make a decision most difficult and unpleasant."
>The Princess Luna of today felt her heart wrench and ache as she scanned through the words.
>"Celestia is such a nice mare... It is not her fault that the commoners adore her so. Her sunlight is warm, inviting, and energetic... My night provides solace, peace, and quiet... And yet I see no admiration for my night... This is why I must do something to change the balance... and perhaps this will complete my dark descent..."
>It hurt to read these words, the maliciousness in her past self's heart was hard to remember.
>"There's so much to do... so many variables... So many outcomes... What happens if my plan fails? What happens if I go too far? Will the public ever truly love me if I take away the one figure they adore the most..?"
>It soon seems as though the thought process had changed near instantly as she had been slowly corrupted.
>"There's no room for error! I can't allow these weak thoughts into my mind! No, if they can only love one princess alone, then I shall get rid of the only competition, and thus they will draw their affection towards me! The hearts of the public will belong to me! I can't fail. Not here, not now. If I do, it's all over, and Celestia shall gain total control, and I shall be lost to the sands of time, long forgotten."
>The piece ended with a more softer and gentler Luna writing, "Hello future-self. If you are reading this... I truly hope you were successful. I hope that despite all the hardships, that you finally have the admiration we deserved... I hope Celestia is still around as well... and maybe, just maybe, she loves you more than she did... Farewell, Diary. This may be my final entry..."
>Reading those words made her eyes tear up, water already starting to slowly sliver its way down her face.
>That final message to her future-self... So bizarre...
>Luna could feel her heart just sink, if not break into two while doing so.
>She didn't know what to do, so as if it was a reflex, she just hugged the brittle parchment, almost completely crunching it up, all the while, it began to grow wet with her tears.
>Before she could destroy the dark but rather important evidence of the memories, she realized what she was doing, and gently let go of it, putting it down onto her dresser with her magic.
>She proceeded to curl up in her old bed, wrapping herself and practically cocooning herself in her own bed-sheets
>She was crying now. Sobbing
>Her broken heart had been hit by disastrous tidal waves of heavy and pressing emotions.
>Regret, embarrassment, fear, sorrow.
>These emotions nearly consumed her whole.
>She was left practically immobilized by her strong emotions, her bed giving her only the most minimum comfort as she couldn't lie down in peace.
>It was then a voice called out to her.
>"Worthless fool. Immobilized by emotions again. Pathetic. And this is the supposedly beloved Princess of the Night. You were always unable to control your foolish heart."
>Luna had to look up out of curiosity, the insulting voice being all too familiar to her, and there it was, manifested in the mirror.
>Nightmare Moon.
>She was just a vision, but it was the power of the strong and negative emotions that made her take form, at least in Luna's own mind.
>"Hmph. Get up and out of that bed, you look awful. You of all ponies should know how a proper princess must act, and you're not quite fitting the bill my dear."
>Luna was stunned. How could this be? Was the darkness in her heart not done away with by the power of the Elements of Harmony?
>Reluctantly, the Lunar Princess made her way out of the bed, and stood in front of the mirror to quite literally face her demons.
>Luna got up and stood there, her body trembling as she faced the mysterious mirror.
>Her eyes did not deceive her.
>The phantom of her past had been standing there with a grin on the other side, waiting oh so desperately for the attention of the Lunar Princess.
>Luna was having a hard time looking at herself... looking at Nightmare Moon, the creature the darkness of her heart had manifested itself into.
>It was an all too familiar sight, a discomforting sight, a fearful sight.
>The Phantom cackled as the mare stood there, silently sobbing.
>"What, not so much as a simple hello from my other half? How cold could I even be?" The mare in the mirror taunted, doing what she could to get a reaction out of her.
>"...Why have you come here to bother me again? Was I not rid of you long ago? Were you not obliterated? How could you be able to stand here?" Luna replied, fear had stained her voice
>The Nightmare shook her head slowly, her radiant, flowing mane seemingly coming out of the mirror, as if to reach out to and caress Luna.
>"You always were so foolish. One can never obliterate all the darkness in one's heart. What is light without darkness?"
>Luna gets frustrated and stamps her hoof down, snorting as she did so.
>Her brow became furrowed, her eyes filled with pain and confusion, water from her eyes slowly running down her face.
>It's clear her composure was coming apart, and fast.
>"That's not what I want to hear! Cut out all this philosophical trite and get to the point! Why are you here? Why do you exist?! Why must you continue to haunt me after all this time?!"
>Once again the Nightmare grinned and cackled, looking quite smug and confident.
>"I don't think you understand Luna. I don't think you ever did understand. And that's your problem. Not only do you not want to understand, but you are fearful of what truth this new understanding may bring in. You are afraid of reality, Princess Luna."
>She spoke with a very condescending, patronizing tone.
>Luna stamped her hoof down again in her frustration.
>"Damn you! Just answer my question already! Quit this foolish nonsense! Stop dodging the subject and give me the words I need to hear!"
>The Nightmare shook her head and let out a sigh.
>"Fool, the reason why I'm here, is because of you. I don't think you ever understood that... you and I? We're the same mare. You can delude yourself into thinking I was born from some otherworldly darkness, but truth be told, I was born from your heart. We both share the same mind, the same heart, the same soul."
>Once more, the stamping of Luna's hoof interrupts whatever flow The Nightmare's words might have.
>"But that doesn't explain why you're here right now! In this castle, when I had entered, I knew I saw my reflection warp, but I played it off! Now here you are, strong enough to hold conversation with me! Explain this nonsense!"
>Nightmare Moon grinned once more at her counterpart, shaking her head slowly. Her expression then changed from condescending and patronizing to rather serious and focused.
>"It's true, this part of us has laid dormant for quite some time now... but it was your memories that brought me here today. Memories can bring emotions and thoughts back to life, and what am I but just a manifestation of your darkest thoughts and emotions? Memories are powerful, Luna. And we both know, that with these memories, comes the realization that you're still all alone in this world."
>Luna grit her teeth as the Nightmare continued to torment her and play with her mind.
>"Your own sister loves her pupil more than she does you. The other princesses hardly hold you in any regard, let alone a high one. You help the ponies of Equestria but you hurt them too. You think they'll all forgive and forget the Tantibus? Please. That's too optimistic, even in this cheery land of little ponies. It's been years, and you haven't gotten the love and praise you sought, that you deserved. You have failed. We have failed.
>Luna finally came up with a comeback.
>She finally found the courage to refute and fire back at this manifestation of her former self.
>"I may have failed.. but to err is to be equine."
>She wiped some tears from her eyes with her wings, and readjusted her posture.
>She stood stronger, more confident. Her chest was puffed out, her regalia complimenting her curves.
>She began to speak again, clearing her throat, her voice still strained but recovering slowly.
>"It's part of who I am."
>She said with pride, before continuing on, refocusing on the mare in the mirror, and looking her in the eyes.
>"You represent a time in my life that I had made a mistake most terrible. You represent a time when I had felt as though I had no other option... That I had to be crippled by my own heart, or fight my sister for my claim to fame and glory."
>She looks away for a moment, and sighs.
>"And while it's true I have continued to make mistakes and lack the close friends and admiration my sister may have..."
>Luna clears her throat, and her stare refocuses once more on that Nightmare in her view.
>"That's okay. I no longer feel as though I'm in the shadows. I have true love from the citizens of the Equestria, even if it's not all of them. I do have friends, especially in my sister, and in Twilight. My dream of claiming all the fame and glory for myself was selfish and delusional, one that could never come true. Ponies do not love someone who forces an eternal night upon them, and usurps their rulers. They fear them instead."
>She shook her head solemnly, Nightmare Moon all the while seemingly having a happy smile on her face.
>"And a public who fears their ruler, would never give love and admiration. They would only try to be rid of them and find someone to replace them, leaving the ruler scared and afraid, creating a vicious cycle of paranoia, mistrust, misdeeds, and eventual insanity. That's why if we were successful on that fateful night, we would have truly lost."
>Nightmare Moon began to phase out, her form in the mirror slowly dissipating and seemingly regressing back to a mere reflection of Luna.
>The mare in the mirror had a smile on her face, one that seemed to be of pride.
>"I think you understand now Luna... I can feel it in your heart. The way you speak... You've grown since we last met, and now you do understand the foolishness of our actions. It's too late to undo the past, but keep fighting for a better and brighter future... and may our moon's light never fade."
>With a wave goodbye, the reflection disappeared, and Luna was simply looking at herself now.
>It felt as though a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
>Luna no longer felt the pain from her past... and had, at long last, learned from it.
>She wiped her teary eyed face once more, and as she looked up to her reflection in the mirror.
>The reflection smiled back, and winked.
>Luna felt relieved at long last.
>The nightmare was now truly over.
>While she knew that darkness lurked in her heart, and she may still harbor some negative feelings, she knew better than to act on them again and let them fester and eventually grow out of control.
>Something then goes through her mind.
>Her diary.
>"It'd be a good idea to write in you one last time, old friend.." She had said aloud, to no one in particular.
>She reached for her old diary, and as she flipped through the parchment, she finally found a blank page, right after the emotional entry.
>The princess levitated over a quill pen to herself, and began to write one last entry.
>"Dear Diary, it's been a millenia and then some since I have last written in you. Last time we met with one another, I had been nearly wholly consumed by my own darkness... I took the time to read it all again recently, and after some introspection, I can finally say, all will be well. I no longer have to fear the ponies like they did me. At long last, I am happy."
>She closed the book, and soon returned home.