Standing in the doorway to Levi’s room really wasn’t the best way to calm Eren’s nerves.

He had been standing there for what felt like hours (but, in reality, was probably only a few minutes), entertaining the thought of knocking on the door. But for all the courage he had built up earlier that day, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It was as if all of his resolve had been blown away, leaving only hesitance in its wake.

“Are you coming in anytime soon?”

Eren was quickly snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of Levi’s voice.

“Sorry, sir,” he murmured, shuffling inside the pristinely-kept office. Eren would have thought that Levi was glaring fondly at him, if that was at all possible.

“How many times have I told you to call me Levi in private? ‘Sir’ is too formal, and a little bit creepy.”

Instead of responding, Eren waited for Levi to sit in the chair behind his desk. Once he was seated, Eren apprehensively approached him, trying not to lose the corporal’s gaze. They held eye contact for several beats, during which Eren tried to rebuild his confidence, until Levi turned back to his desk, picking up the cup of tea that had been sitting half-empty and taking a sip. Normally, Eren would help himself to a cup as well, enjoying the silence between them; this time was different.

 “I can practically feel the anxiety radiating off of you. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so nervous since the first time you came here,” Levi eventually said, glancing up at Eren with a questioning look. “There’s something bothering you, and it’s annoying to watch you stewing in your worries. You might as well spit it out now.” His words were harsh, but Eren knew that there was no real bite behind them. He had been with Levi for long enough to know when he was serious.

Eren nodded, inhaling deeply and mentally preparing himself to speak. He was by no means shy, but there was always the chance that this could end badly, and he wanted to be ready for the worst.

“I want you.”

---

 Four months prior…

Three years of serving in the survey corps and everyone still had to practice with the 3D maneuver gear. It was sort of embarrassing, how little trust their higher-ups had for them. Wasn’t it evident that everyone had perfected their skills? By now, it was really just pointless labor. Then again, it DID keep everyone busy when they weren’t busy fighting for their lives against titans, and Eren supposed that it made sense to keep working so that their skills didn’t go rusty.

Still, it was tedious as all hell.

In order to keep himself from getting bored, Eren had decided that he would practice midair spins. Not many people had managed to perfect them, aside from Corporal Levi. It was the only area of improvement that most of the group needed, and they had been encouraged to only try it under supervision, so that they could be instructed on how to improve. Fortunately, the corporal had actually taken the time to observe them as they worked, and Eren saw no reason why he shouldn’t take advantage of the opportunity. Ready, aim, fire.

As he whirled through the air, he tried glancing down to see whether or not he was doing it right. It couldn’t hurt to try and impress his comrades while he was at it. For just the briefest of seconds, his gaze locked with Levi’s. Levi gave a small, almost imperceptible nod of approval. In that moment, Eren felt his stomach lurch. The distraction had nearly caused him to fall, and he had only managed to save himself from falling on his ass in the nick of time. He was beyond the point of being embarrassed at failing. He had already messed up plenty of his attempts, and this would be nothing new.

But when Levi walked away, not even giving Eren a second glance, Eren stopped worrying about his blunder, and started worrying about the sudden feeling that had caused it.

What was that all about?

---

Eren had rarely seen Levi as expressive as he was now. Eyes wide, brows furrowed, mouth drawn into a tight line. He would have relished the expression, if it wasn’t for the seriousness of the situation.

“You’ve got to be joking,” Levi said, setting down the cup and standing up from his chair. He may have been shorter than Eren, but he certainly made up for it by being one of the most intimidating people Eren had ever known.

“I’m not joking,” Eren blurted out, standing tall. Things were turning sour quickly, but he had promised himself that he would stick to his wishes until the bitter end.

Levi brushed past Eren, and began to pace around the room, lost in thought. There was no use in trying to talk to Levi when he was like this, as he would only do this when a particularly worrisome problem came up, and Eren knew better than to interrupt. Eventually, Levi stopped pacing, and turned to stare Eren dead in the eye.

“You realize that you’re hardly over eighteen?”

“Of course,” Eren nodded.

“And that we won’t be the same if we do this?”

“Yes.”

Levi sighed, running a hand through his hair and tapping his foot impatiently. “I hope you know that this could end up horribly. If anything happens, if something gets screwed up… if one of us dies…” He trailed off, leaving the rest of the sentence to hang in the air.

“I know that,” Eren said. “But… don’t you want to be happy? I mean, isn’t it better to take advantage of the time that you have and actually enjoy yourself? It’s not like there are plenty of opportunities.” He paused. “And if we don’t do this eventually, and something DOES happen… we both know we’d regret it more than if we had.”

This seemed to make Levi pause. He looked at Eren intently, weighing his options in his mind. Eren glanced down, avoiding Levi’s gaze.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I would understand, and I won’t blame you for it. I just figured that I should say something before it was too late.”

 Finally, after what could have been ages, Levi spoke.

“I want you too.”

Eren grinned, walking over to Levi and pulling him into a warm embrace. “Thank you.”

If he could have seen Levi, he might have noticed that the ends of his lips quirked up, ever so slightly, in what might have been a smile.

“Let’s go, then.”

---

Three months prior…

It had taken Eren far too long to discover his feelings for Levi.

Ever since the incident with the maneuver gear, he had found himself thinking and acting differently, if only subtly.

More than once, he had become distracted by the thought of the look on Levi’s face. There was something about earning his approval, if only temporarily, that made his heart pound just a little bit louder. And if he had snuck furtive glances at the corporal, that didn’t mean anything, right?

As time passed, Eren found that his feelings began to intensify. It wasn’t that he only craved Levi’s approval, not any more. He began to notice all of the tiny quirks to Levi’s behavior, like how he habitually tapped his fingers against the table when Hanji was being particularly loud, or how he would slip from formal to casual conversation in the blink of an eye, or even how he would occasionally crack a joke with a dry sense of humor. Eren noticed these things, and found them endearing.

His first attempt at really talking to Levi was after a particularly disgusting dinner.

When Levi escorted him down to his room (still being kept in the same darkness as before, obviously. His powers, while more controlled, could still potentially be unpredictable, and nobody was willing to risk anything), Eren turned to him, giving a small smile.

“You must be lucky to be a corporal. You get better food than we do,” he said.

“You’re not very good at small talk, are you?” Levi responded as they stopped walking.

“Not really. But I can at least make an effort, right?” It was a weak way to break the ice, but it felt good to be able to talk, even for just a few seconds, before he was left alone. Levi gave him an assessing glance.

“The dead of night isn’t really the best time to hold a conversation.”

Scratching the back of his head, Eren looked down. “I know. But it’s nice to actually be with someone here. It gets lonely.”

For just an instant, it looked like something akin to sympathy flashed across Levi’s face. It was gone the next moment. As Levi turned to leave, he paused, and stood in place.

“Try talking to me tomorrow, and I’ll see what I can do.”

The next few nights followed similarly, with Eren chattering with Levi for a few precious moments, before Levi would stop to repeat the same phrase and leave: “Try talking to me tomorrow.” Fortunately, Eren was patient. Maybe if he waited for long enough, he would earn some more time with the corporal. Finally, one night, Eren stopped in front of his bed, only to notice that Levi wasn’t leaving.

“I thought you had to go,” he said, waiting for Levi to turn around and utter the five familiar words.

“Not tonight,” Levi said in return, meeting Eren’s now-excited gaze. “I can stay for an hour or so, but then we’ll both need sleep. I’m hellish when I don’t get enough rest.”

“Thank you, sir!” Eren said happily.

For the next two and a half weeks, Levi accompanied Eren for hour-long periods during the night. Their conversations ranged from meaningless talk (“I think Jean’s trying to flirt with Mikasa again.” “Does he ever stop?” “Not really.”) to more philosophical ponderings (“If titans could speak, what would they say?”) to simple reassurances (“Promise me you won’t die yet, brat.”) As they continued to talk, Eren could swear that he got to see Levi marginally relax. Knowing that they were able to prevent each others’ stresses by their small amount of time spent together was a powerful thing. And finally, when Eren realized what the feelings were, it became even more powerful.

He was in love.

---

The trust that he and Levi had built helped to calm Eren’s nerves, allowing him to relax as Levi led him to the bedroom. The interior wasn’t really anything special: a bed, a dresser, a small shelf, and a desk with a chair. But it was clean as a whistle, and it briefly occurred to Eren that they would be making a mess of it soon enough. Now wasn’t that a pleasant thought?

“You’ve never done this before, have you?” Levi asked, sitting at the edge of the bed.

“No, I haven’t,” Eren said, with a hint of embarrassment in his voice. It wasn’t an unreasonable assessment--there isn’t much time for fooling around when you’re constantly fighting for your lives--but he still felt a bit sheepish about his lack of experience compared to Levi.

“Then we’ll start slowly.”

As for what happened next, it was all a bit of a blur. There was kissing--lots of kissing--and gentle hands roaming across bodies, clothes being clumsily removed and a vial of some slick substance being opened, soft groans and pants and twists of fingers and oh god oh god oh god-

Bliss.

---

Two months prior…

Ever since Eren’s realization that he harbored feelings for Levi, he became distant. During training, he would only work on the more basic moves, trying to make himself as unremarkable as possible. During his cleaning jobs, he would carefully avoid making eye contact with the corporal, only answering in short responses to Levi’s requests. He didn’t talk much during dinner, even to his friends, which was definitely a cause for concern.

The most noteworthy change was that he was more hesitant to talk to Levi during the nights. He gave his best effort to stay like he had before, but when asked questions about himself, he deflected them, almost with a practiced sort of ease. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to Levi anymore--it was the opposite, actually--but he knew that if he wasn’t careful, then he would probably let his feelings slip. And if he did that, it was all over. There would be no more conversations, no more jokes and praises, no more anything. Things would become awkward and clipped, and that was the last thing that Eren wanted.

As the pair approached Eren’s room, Levi stopped mid-stride to place a hand on Eren’s shoulder.

“Something’s been bothering you. What is it?”

Should he bite his lip? Should he confess? Should he lie and say it was something else? Eren wanted to groan in frustration, but Levi had pinned him with that unwavering stare.

“You know you don’t have to say anything, and I’ll respect you for that. But I think we’d both be happier if you told me what was on your mind. You’ve been acting far too wound up. And don’t even think that I didn’t notice.”

That surprised Eren a bit; how long had Levi known that there was something wrong? As if he could read minds, Levi continued.

“You’ve been distant. And as much of an airhead as you can be, this time is different, isn’t it?” Pause. “It’s not good for you to hold back. And I care about your wellbeing.”

That quiet statement was the last push it took. “I think I like you!” Eren blurted out, suddenly mortified. Shit. That wasn’t supposed to happen!

Levi looked thoughtful for a moment “How long?”

Blinking in surprise, Eren pulled at the collar of his shirt. “How long what?”

“How long have you known?”

“…That I like you?” he said cautiously. “About a month, maybe a month and a half. I mean, I had felt it before that, but I couldn’t put a name to it.” It was tougher than he had anticipated to hold this conversation, but Eren was never one to back down from a challenge. Feeling particularly daring, Eren met Levi’s eyes, trying to discern what lay behind them. After several moments of silence, Levi spoke.

“Alright.”

Eren quirked an eyebrow. “Alright what?”

“Alright, I understand your feelings.”

His heart sunk. So, this was a rejection. Without saying anything else, he finished walking to his bedroom, preparing to go to sleep. He knew that he was being silly to let such a little thing get to him, and he was sure it would disappear before the morning. Just as he was about to lay down, he heard Levi’s voice.

“I’ll give it a shot, if you’re willing.” It wasn’t quite a murmur, but it was hard to hear. For a moment, Eren thought he had misheard. But when the words finally reached him, he grinned.

“Thank you, Sir!” Eren exclaimed cheerily.

“Call me Levi.”

---

Ironically enough, Levi ended up being the big spoon. It was almost amusing, how mismatched their positions were; Levi had rested his chin in the junction between Eren’s neck and shoulder, wrapping his arms around him, but the height difference was still clear. Eren noted that Levi snored lightly. He didn’t know why this was so important, but he supposed it was just another thing that made Levi endearing (Levi would probably scoff at his use of the word, but it was true, damn it).

For once, Eren felt a sense of contentment with his life. The burdens of his past had temporarily disappeared, leaving an odd sort of calm in its wake, and he was content to revel in it for as long as he could. He took pleasure in the softness of the sheets (certainly more comfortable than the ones where he usually slept), sighing as he felt the warmth emanating from Levi against his back. This was… comfortable. He wanted to do this more often, if it would clear out any traces of agitation like it had. With that final thought, he drifted off into sleep.

The next morning, Eren woke up to an insistent nudging by Levi. “Get up, or else you’re going to miss breakfast.” That was motivation enough for Eren to sit up. As he stood to gather his clothes and put them back on, he glanced behind him, taking in the state of the bed and grimacing.

“Disgusting, I know. I’ll have to clean them later today,” Levi said idly, and if Eren didn’t know any better, he’d say there was something airy about the sound of his voice. Even more shocking was that, as they left the bedroom, Levi hummed a quiet tune.

This definitely needed to be a recurring situation.

---

One month prior…

Not much had changed after Eren’s confession- or at least, not outwardly. Levi would still scold Eren when he failed to clean up properly, Eren would still train with other people, would still crack jokes with his friends, and they would resume business as usual. It was when nobody was looking that the subtle differences could be seen. For instance, Levi would spend a few minutes after practice letting Eren try to spar against him (‘try’ being the key word in the sentence--while Eren wasn’t a novice, Levi still had more experience than he did). They would occasionally exchange knowing glances at the table when the others were engrossed in conversation. And sometimes, Levi would request Eren’s assistance to help him in the office. They would share tea with each other in comfortable silence, and Eren was grateful for that.

There were also less subtle means of flirtation: Every once in a while, when they passed in the corridors, Levi would purposely brush against him, and Eren would give him a playful pinch. Then there were the kisses, which they would share in the privacy of Eren’s room. Their nightly conversations still continued, but things were more relaxed, more personal.

All in all, it was a good arrangement.

It made Eren wonder what it would be like to know Levi more intimately. It was only a fleeting thought from time to time, but it still existed.

Maybe one of these days.

---

“Hey, Mikasa?” Armin asked, surveying the room. “Have you seen Eren this morning? He hasn’t showed up to eat yet.”

Mikasa stopped eating, glancing up at Armin. “I don’t think so.”

“Corporal Levi’s gone too.” Jean cut in. “Seems kind of suspicious, don’t you think?” he said, earning a startled look from Armin and a glare from Mikasa.

Almost on cue, Eren and Levi arrived, sitting down at their places on the table. Mikasa took in their appearances: Eren’s hair was messier than usual, and a wide grin was plastered onto his face. Even Levi seemed in a more cheerful mood.

“You don’t… you don’t really think that they…?” Armin started, and trailed off. Jean narrowed his eyes, leaning back in his chair.

“Nah.”