Death and Pinkie Pie (done)

>you are not anon
>you are not a pony
>you are an inevitability
>you don't really like what you are but you know how bad things get when you stop doing your job
>you look around and enjoy the beauty of landscape around you. Ponyville, don't have to visit often
>you walk around for a bit and enjoy the sights of ponies laughing and playing. You're glad they can't see you. They deserve to live carefree lives
>you sigh and finally look at your list. There's only one name on it but it's a name you never wanted to see
>anon
>Spends most of his life alone, catches a break when he finds his way to Equestria, makes real friends that care about him, and just as his life is finally improving his time has to be cut short
>by you
>on his birthday no less
>today was not going to be an easy day
>you knew where he would be when it happened, surrounded by all his friends, smile on his face, maybe biting into a slice of cake.
>maybe it's better that it happens then. At least his last moments will be happy
>you sit down on a grassy hill and look over Ponyville.
>maybe you can wait until after the party. Maybe have it be a runaway storm cloud as he's heading home. Maybe something quiet in his sleep, or have him go out a hero fighting some beast from the everfree forest.
>"Or maybe you don't take noony away"
>you look to your left and see a pink pony sitting next to you. She's not looking at you, just watching Ponyville and smiling.
"you can see me?"
>"maybe, or maybe I'm just being normal silly old Pinkie Pie and talking to myself."
>you look at her with mild amusement and turn back to watching Ponyville.
"I have to do it, it's my job."
>"then just take a day off silly. I'm sure a lot of people would appreciate it."
>this is a conversation you have with yourself often. Why not just wait a day? Why not two or three or just give them another week?
>"well why not?"
"because every time I do something worse winds up happening. At least when I do my job I can be there for them."


>"and you think taking him away from all his friends on his birthday is a good ending?"
>she says it with the hint of anger. She wants to be mad at you but she's holding back.
"It's better than falling off a cliff and going away slowly, painfully, and alone; Or being carried off and torn apart by some dragon or other horrible creature. There are worse ways to go than surrounded by your friends."
>"you don't know those things will happen!"
"you're right. I don't know exactly what will happen, I just know it will be worse than anything I do to him."
>you try to stand up but the pink pony puts her hoof on your robe.
>reluctantly you sit back down.
>"please don't take noony away. He was just starting to get used to life here and making friends with everyone."
>tears start flowing down her cheeks, you sit there in silence.
>"He was making so many plans, he wanted to see all of Equestria and he wanted to learn to cook and try to do magic and and Rarity was going to teach him to dance and everypony in town loves the stories about his world and..."
>she goes on and on and you sit silently. In part because there's nothing you can say to make her feel better, in part because she hasn't stopped talking even to take a breath.
>finally she quiets down for a few moments to wipe the tears from her eyes. You wait for her to calm down and then break the silence.
"let me tell you a story. Long ago there was this young naive spirit who was charged with ending people's lives. The spirit did not want the task but he was told it was an important job, and if he didn't do it a more malicious spirit step instead."
>the pink pony looked at you for the first time since she appeared. You looked away and started playing with the grass.


"Now the spirit didn't really believe what he was told. He was young and thought that the worst thing that could happen to someone was making them go away forever. One day he was given the name of a little girl. He was suppose to take her away two days before her first field trip and where she would ride her first roller coaster."
>you started playing with the grass making it grow and decay and grow again to calm yourself.
"The spirit watched her and saw how excited she was to go. He decided he would wait until after the trip. The day of the trip arrives and the spirit is there watching her board the roller coaster. He watched her yell out in joy and a little bit of fear as the roller coaster traveled down its first hill and he thought to himself that this was the right thing to do."
"Then he heard a loud bang down the track and I saw that it had snapped."
>you closed your eyes and ripped a handful of grass out of the ground. The pink pony just watched you with a face filled with worry.
"Just break out of nowhere for no reason! and I had to watch as her cart rushed to the broken track and her joy turn to panic as everyone on the ride was sent flying out. I had to stand by powerless and listen to the screams as her body hit floor. Had to listen to terrible shrieks as she lay there in more pain than anyone should ever have to experience. I had to watch and know that her last moments were filled with terror and pain and feel useless! I tried everything I could but nothing worked and I couldn't take her, No, I already lost my chance at that, I couldn't I had to just wait and watch an-"
>you stopped mid sentence and opened your eyes.
>the pink pony had her front legs around you in a hug.
>she was gripping you tighter and tighter as if she could make all the bad things go away if she just held you close enough.
>you wrapped your arms around her and rested your head in her mane. She was soft and smelled like a fresh batch of cookies and strawberries.
>you're not sure how long you spent just hugging the pony but the sun was starting to set when she finally let go.
>she stands up and starts walking towards the town.
>"come on, anon's party is starting soon. If we hurry I can get there before everyone yells surprise. That's my favorite part."


>you follow Pinkie to sugar cube corner. The lights are off and she looks around before darting inside.
>you phase through the wall and see a huge group of ponies waiting excitedly. This has to be nearly the whole town or at least as much of it as can fits in this bakery.
>Pinkie rushes to the window to look outside. Finally after a few moments she jumps up and quietly yells at everyone
>"I see him coming!"
>everyone in the room stands still and gets ready. You listen closely and hear a voice you were afraid to hear.
>"Honestly Twilight you don't have to buy me a cake. The books were enough."
>"Nonsense anon, it's your birthday! What's a birthday without a cake?"
>anon and Twilight step through the door and almost immediately the room is filled with light and ponies yelling SURPRISE!
>streamers and balloons start falling from the ceiling, he drops his bag and a smile forms on his face.
>maybe now, a heart attack caused by sudden surprise? Would that be peaceful enough?
>Pinkie Pie hugs you from behind and starts giggling
>"don't even think about it."
>she's right, not yet. Let him have his party first.


>games, jokes, punch, cake, candy, conversation, presents and hugs, weird little spells going off, and even a unicorn DJ for the party.
>at one point some pegasus ponies grabbed anon and flew him through the air for awhile.
>seems almost everyone in town showed up and they all wanted him to have a good time.
>you leaned against a wall and watched. Every once in awhile you would see the perfect opportunity to take him away. A smile on his face, happiest he's ever been, and it'll look like some accident that was nobodies fault.
>Every time you moved to act Pinkie Pie would appear out of nowhere and stuffed a piece of cake or some new kind of pastry in your face. To anyone else watching it must have looked like Pinkie kept making food disappear through a wall and laughing.
>you had never watched someone's birthday party before. You'd been to them of course, you just never really paid attention.
>even so, this was probably the most lively birthday you've ever been to.
>"Thank you so much for the party Pinkie! You don't know how much this means to me."
>"awww no prob noony! Sorry I couldn't get you a gift, I was too busy to pick one out today."
>they share a hug and Pinkie Pie waves her hoof behind anons back beckoning the purple pony he came in with. She taps him on the back and Pinkie quickly disappears into the crowd.
>you don't know what she said, but judging by her awkward expression and the fact that he kissed her when she finished, you can piece it together.
>Pinkie Pie slithers her way out of the crowd of ponies now yelling and cheering in excitement. She leans on you and watches the couple share their first kiss.


>the white DJ pony starts playing dance music again and you enjoy the sight of both of them making fools of each other, neither one really any good at dancing.
>"You know, it would take a real mean meanie pants to break up that couple after they've only shared one kiss and a dance."
"It would. It would be an even greater shame if a house collapsed on them both or he slowly dies to some poison with no known cure."
>"don't be such a grumpy pants. Can't you just accept that maybe nothing will happen and just leave noony alone?"
"I wish I could but, I'm afraid of what will happen."
>"relax, this is Ponyville. Nothing bad ever happens in Ponyville."
"except the near constant stream of villains that show up."
>"oh please, the show ended years ago and there's no sign of bringing it back. He's the first and probably last human that'll ever get to be here before everyone forgets about us. Please, just this once, let him enjoy it for as long as possible."
>the night is half over and this party doesn't look like it's ending anytime soon.
"but what if you're wrong? What if I leave and something worse comes along?"
>"I thought I told you nothing bad ever happens in Ponyville. I make sure of that."
>she passes you a cupcake and yells over the crowd "That's it noony, shake that booty!"
>yeah, maybe she's right. Maybe nothing bad ever happens in a land of colorful talking ponies.
>some ponies watch in confusion as Pinkie Pie leans on air talking to herself and keeps making food disappear. Suddenly her smile grows wider and she starts laughing. Then she falls with a clang like the air she was leaning on disappeared.
>just silly old Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.