As a one time donor to the HAES organization, I think I can speak for all mem(b)ers when I say that your support does not go unrecognized. I have struggled with being overweight since my youth due to my BBS (Big Boned Syndrome) which is 100% genetic. I have ZERO control of my weight, but I am still HEALTHY. Also, I would like to point out I have overcome my physical limitations by being classy and an intellectual (Redditors will understand).~Theodore Trilby, ambassador of Reddit, HAES promoter, and stage 2 giga atheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCdHP1BBR_c

I myself am an upstairs neighbor. My downstairs neighbors complain about my excessive gulping and slurping (of Mountain Dew of course) but my Asian girlfriends don't seem to mind.~Theodre Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 1 Gigaatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IRB0sxw-YU

In my home state we had a large contamination in our water supply. I was chugging my usual drum of Dew at breakfast, when I heard a pipe bust. Little did I know, the pipe ended up spilling 3,000,000 gallons of Code Red Mountain Dew into the water supply.Now that was three (3) years ago and still to this day there are reports of cherry tinged tap water.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 4 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0HL4L6Pa-4

A true gent(le)sir indeed. It is common knowledge that drinking Mountain Dew enhances one's abilities, and especially when it comes to wooing m'ladies. Most of us Redditors are capable of superhuman feats, I just choose to live a simple life, although I could have been a professional athlete, doctor, or supermodel.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 4 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-1D_MJzsNU

I recently had a formal marriage in Runescape. It was great. My pet platypus Peter was in attendence, as well as my gf's whole orcish family. (I know orcs aren't the most desirable race, but boy do they know how to handle the Mountain Dew in bed) The halls of Varrock were decorated with Guthix and blue dragon armor. Since then, whenever I try to enter the PVP area or go to slay dragons, my bitch tries to follow me, even though she is a noob.tldr - don't marry noobs~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 3 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suAhGfVr_4U

Whenever I'm raiding on my WOW account, my Asian girlfriend get jealous after I sweet talk the female NPCs. I can't help that my Paladin has full Sapphirum armor. After I perform a sweeping slice with my katana and dabble Code Red Mountain Dew on m'ladies privates they are sure to stay by my sides.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 3 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlZsGpWJmos

Upthumb for visibilityClearly, as a Redditor, I can see that they are communicating telepathically. I won't even bother ELI5 how it works, because nonredditors will not understand.Telepathic communication has been proved to work by /u/Unidan on /r/AskScience~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 3 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F0Mer4kDDY

My wheelchair is very similar to this simple vehicle. In 10 seconds it goes from 0 to 5 mph with no whiplash. I can use this method to easily get up the ramp that comes out of my mom's basement so I can go to the local Dungeons and Dragons club.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 3 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpaLgF1uLB8

You think this is impressive? I once chugged 3 drums of Mountain Dew™ in one sitting all whilst my mom was dragging my then broken electric scooter with her mini van. This shouldn't surprise you, because most Redditors are capable of super-human feats.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 2 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14wqBA5Q1yc

Forensic video surveillance expert and m'lday wooer here.If these misogynist ferry workers would have just given m'lday what she wanted and weren't despicable human beings, she would not have had to resort to her elvish screech speak (/r/LOTR reference). That being said, I would like to cordially invite m'lday to my mum's basement, where I have 3 flavors of Dew on tap connected directly to my gaming station (So I don't ever have to stand up). Come see what a real man has to offer. Also someone please tell OP to retake this video with 'landscape' mode or take it down, the /r/Youtube moderators have been notified.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 2 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsS-iBgylzM

I have to give props to Taco Bell™ on this marketing scheme. I heard rumors of a new flavor of Dew™ based on the Dorito™ flavor, but the lava look is much more unique and creative. As a Redditor, much like this new Mountain Dew™ flavor, I am also creative. unique, and curious (oxford comma). ~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 1 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahZD95l1MvM

Love this anime. Is it available to stream on my /r/pcmasterace?~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 1 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0WxDz3cfO0

Tipping should be banned? We might as well also ban class, gent(le)men, and Redditors (Oxford comma). As an esteemed Redditor I am in an elite community of class. I tip my fedora many times a day, whether it be to anime m'ladies online or in person, I never disrespect a proper lady. The day America bans tipping will be the day that my Mountain Dew supply runs dry (never).~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 1 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_vivC7c_1k

/r/Music moderator here.Most Redditors agree that the 1930's and 1940's were the apex of great music. Back when gent(le)men stayed classy, tipping their various types of fedoras to proper m'ladies who always stayed lady-like. When I hear foul, rambunctious noises produced by le Tayor Swift I cannot help but regurgitate my dewitos.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 1 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deiYfCedCKI

You seem like an interesting person. Someone who kicks back every once in a while, munches on some Doritos whilst sipping Mountain Dew. I cordially invite you over to www.Reddit.com to do an AMA on /r/IAMA (a subreddit that I moderate). ~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 1 gigaatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCmpkLI-zDg

420 blaze that dank kush! (Snoop Dogg reference, Redditors will understand XD)~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 1 gigaatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7J08COU7n4M

I always listen to this before I enter an internet debate to pump myself up. (I then consume three (3) drums of Code Red Mountain Dew to heighten my senses).~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 1 giga-atheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6120QOlsfU

Senior hip hop analyst here.The original song by "Biggie Smalls" depicts a young black man struggling for status and "bitches" (m'ladies). Although his flow is impeccable, his lyrical prowess is unmatched. This song is truly a classic, and therefore I authorize the internet to make it into as official Reddit meme.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 4 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-v2mvO7Yq48

If this gym rat had been cruising around the city in his electrically powered wheelchair, this type of situation would have never happened. Listen people, get with the times. Use of our physical limbs will soon become obsolete, and that's why I am a substantial donor of the WCWW foundation (Wheel Chairs World Wide). Our aim is to, by 2030, have the whole world using wheel chairs as a preferred method of transportation. Give it some thought.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 3 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJLrcG64ulU

As a Redditor, I have never been a virgin. I have many hours of experience wooing m'ladies (mostly Asian). Whether it is online or at a LAN party a tip of my trilby never fails to wetten m'ladies privates. PM me for detailed accounts.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 3 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUqerenLjmQ

Nice try, but we Redditors are intelligent enough not to fall for a CGI trick. The glass window of a car door such as that (Toyota, built by the Japanese, the superior race of anime and Kit Kats) is unbreakable. I've done several jab/thrust tests myself, using the 3 inch and 5 inch punches I've learned (on the internet). Next time do your research before you post a badly faked video, because nothing can hide from us redditors.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 3 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eFQbhkrfZE

Reddit intellectual here.I would never have this problem, you see I am wheelchair bound (due to my severe Dewitis condition) and thus would never be fooled into this simple trick. I will say however that these feeble minded knaves are the same type of people that are fooled into believing in a all powerful being that lives in another dimension.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 3 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Swrq5ZkYcUU

Is this what modern society has come to? Come back with a video of a two hit ice barrage kill on Runescape, that would impress me. And that's saying a lot coming from a Redditor (Most of us are capable of super-human feats).~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 2 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ad6FoWRcXn0

Just like we caught the Boston bombers, we will also catch m'lday.My trilby remains untipped~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 2 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou2e8gA59Qc

Redditor checking in. This video reminds me of when my mum tried to warn me of all the Dew I was spilling on le carpet. First it started out with drips running down my neck here and there. But eventually I was spilling liters at a time, that would seep deep into the carpet, leaving a soft, wet, sticky, mushy substance out of what used to be plush berber. I now have to use inflatables on my arms and legs just to navigate my way to the fridge and bathroom from my gaming station.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 1 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbkOwoZLey0

Historical film expert here.This is prime footage of Nazi Germany in the 1930's. Their hard work ethic and intellect combined made them not only the best race in the world, but also potential Redditors. When was the last time you saw an unenlightened Redditor?~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 1 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9b84pFPyvlw

Certified TwoXChromosome poster from Reddit here.I can see you are winning the favor of m'ladies using your wit and intellect. I do the same (primarily online) tips casually~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 1 gigaatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAwxe0j41BY

I always go to SoFloAntonio when I wanna see a quality prankster!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2C_CXcQprE

If there was actually such a large pay gap between men and women ($0.77 on the dollar) wouldn't all companies hire only women to pay them less?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwJRFClybmk

Hip Hop expert here.I've watched 200+ rap music videos and can confidently say that this video is fake (and gay). If you look closely and enhance the image, you can see that his mouth doesn't exactly line up with the words. Obviously OP (faggot) did a voice over of another rapper to the dogs mouth. Anyone who believe this video is real probably also believes in a flying spagetti monster.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 3 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEejgX1NANE

Are those idiots really dumb enough to let their dog eat all their food? I can't believe what religion has come to. I don't let my pet snakes come close to my Dew room. I keep it chilled at 2 degrees Celsius and fully stocked with 1,800 cans (a months supply). So when I see these religious fanatics throw away good food to an animal who is probably smarter than them anyways, it always gives me a good kek.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 3 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvcj9xptNOQ

Upthumb this is you're a 90's kid (born 1986-1996).I have fond memories of my mom telling my to go out and get some exercise instead of solving my rubix cubes (I was wheelchair bound at the age of 6 due to my big boned syndrome). She would offer me mountain dew and doritos every day since then to this very day. It is during those long hours of playing super mario and donkey kong that I developed my intellectualism and disregard for religion.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 4 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7Hoz2ZHYZM

Is this really what NFL players are saying under their barbaric armor? Football is such a waste of time (I used to excel at the sport). I now strive towards intellectual pursuits, such as League of Legends and World of Warcraft. If society is spiraling towards this type of behavior, I think I'll just stay in my mom's basement thank you very much.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 3 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTRmyXX6ipU

Physics expert here.Based on the trajectory of the brief case and the initial velocity, it should have landed exactly 2.3 inches above the light switch and not directly at it. Sorry, but this video was faked, badly. ~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 2 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3RX3_ot8lg

You gave m'ladies a taste of American snacks, but didn't provide doritos and Mountain Dew? M'lady, if you would be so kind to them these foul knaves and join me at my gaming station. I already have several asian girlfriends online and you would be a nice addition. I've PMed you my whereabouts.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 2 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bf11-ruYgOo

Slow motion film expert here.No two ways about this, this video was faked. I've watched over 300 hours of informative videos on the internet of how to spot fake videos. See that text on the bottom of the video? "steveguntrip.co.uk" There is no way that could be so clear in real life, there are 456 pixels and there should be 470. Debunked.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 1 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLCVC1wbvtw

Expert magic debunker here.Let me start by saying magic, like God, isn't real. Anyone who believes in it should go browse 9gag. That being said, this "magician" merely used slight of hand and distraction to make us believe he really used magic. If I were in that audience I would have been so distracted by his naked, unadorned head that I wouldn't have fallen for his cunning use of trickery.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 1 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RSkt8fcvrg

This is further proof that us Redditors are the supreme race. Dogs have an IQ between 12 and 14. Being an elite Redditors my IQ is 104. Being of incredibly high intellect I am able to fool dogs, and humans who believe in religion alike.~Theodore Trilby, Ph. D in atheism and stage 1 ultraatheist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n33Ai7MnosE