Touhouventure 15.Z

[20:56]	GM-Mizi [Zeke, now a guest/employment candidate, now being escorted by Sakuya (And maybe Meiling) to see the head of this manor.]
[20:57]	VeryNotLunarian	In all seriousness, Mr. Pike, what is your blood type?
[20:58]	VeryNotLunarian	asks as they enter the mansion.
[20:59]	Meiling	tags along, having tucked the blue rose into a pocket. The other remains in her hair.
[21:04]	Zeke	gives her an odd look for a second, then remembers. Oh. Vampire. "These" sorts of questions.
[21:04]	Zeke	shrugs.
[21:04]	Zeke	"In all seriousness, who the heck knows their blood type until they're actually in the hospital?"
[21:06]	VeryNotLunarian	shrugs.
[21:06]	VeryNotLunarian	It's to your benefit to know, really.
[21:07]	VeryNotLunarian	The Mansion is not without its hazards.
[21:08]	Zeke	"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, I suppose; I can't just grab my birth certificate from here to find out."
[21:09]	VeryNotLunarian	...That particular bridge is usually on fire and collapsing.
[21:09]	Meiling	That said, it shouldn't be a big problem.
[21:09]	VeryNotLunarian	looks back at Meiling, then nods.
[21:09]	VeryNotLunarian	True.
[21:10]	Zeke	nods, taking a look at the mansion's interior. Very nice. Very red, but very, very nice.
[21:10]	Zeke	"Let's hope not, Miss. I must say, this is quite the establishment."
[21:10]	VeryNotLunarian	is not going to describe the goddamn mansion.
[21:10]	Zeke	"The exterior doesn't do it justice."
[21:11]	VeryNotLunarian	I suppose so.
[21:11]	Meiling	You should see the gardens in the back when you have the chance.
[21:11]	Zeke	is not expecting her to describe the goddamn mansion. He is however expecting her to describe the Goddamn Bat(wo)man.
[21:12]	Zeke	"Oh? Vegetables, or flowers?"
[21:12]	Meiling	Flowers and hedges.
[21:13]	VeryNotLunarian	[bugger that, she'll describe herself. Anyway, they've passed through the big front entrance hall with the twin sweeping staircases that EVERY MANSION EVER has; you know the setup.]
[21:14]	Zeke	was hoping for the single staircase that splits in half on the second floor. Some mansions have that.
[21:14]	Zeke	's interest is piqued.
[21:15]	Zeke	"Is there a maze, Miss...? Ahh, I'm sorry, I don't think I properly got your name."
[21:17]	Meiling	Hong Meiling.
[21:17]	Meiling	offers a bow while still walking. Her hat shifts only slightly.
[21:18]	Zeke	bows back, though it's more of a head-nod.
[21:19]	Zeke	"A pleasure, Ms. Hong."
[21:20]	Meiling	Definitely.
[21:20]	VeryNotLunarian	[Having gone through a door between the twin staircases and through a smaller, more softly-lit room with paintings of previous Scarlets/the Impalers/miscellaneous royalty filler that Remi has put up to instill awe in the local dullards, the group comes to a halt at an ostentatious and needlessly large set of doors at the end.]
[21:20]	VeryNotLunarian	[This piece of the hallway here had actually been grossly enlarged so that the new double doors would fit. The rather sensible pair of sturdy, but generally unassuming oak doors that were there before now graced a pair of broom closets elsewhere in the mansion. Simplistic is for FAGS (Scarlet family architectural design motto)]
[21:22]	Zeke	is pleased to discover that at least the Lady Scarlet is one of "those" vampires you don't see much of anymore.
[21:23]	Zeke	is fed up with the other kind that breed like rabbits and dress like bikers.
[21:24]	Meiling	doesn't pay the decor much heed- she has seen it many times over.
[21:25]	VeryNotLunarian	looks Zeke over, silently.
[21:27]	Zeke	looks at not her; she's obviously busy. That's a very nice door.
[21:27]	Zeke	"...That is a VERY nice door, Ms. Izayoi."
[21:27]	Zeke	"Ball room? Dining hall?"
[21:28]	Zeke	is just making conversation, really.
[21:29]	VeryNotLunarian	straightens his collar, and sweeps off a patch of dust from his clothes.
[21:29]	VeryNotLunarian	steps back and eyes him, clearly still full of misgivings.
[21:29]	VeryNotLunarian	Mmmm.
[21:30]	VeryNotLunarian	steps over to Meiling, and brushes back a wisp of hair that had fallen down.
[21:30]	VeryNotLunarian	Much better~
[21:31]	VeryNotLunarian	winks, and then turns to the door, grasping both handles. Biiiiig brass handles.
[21:31]	Meiling	just smiles.
[21:31]	VeryNotLunarian	Enjoy the ride, Mr. Pike.
[21:31]	Zeke	"Oh, uhh, thank you. Sorry I'm underdressed; my other set got... lasered."
[21:32]	Zeke	just raises his hands a little like, "You know how it is. Lasers happen."
[21:34]	VeryNotLunarian	pushes them open with more strength than seems possible for a woman of her build. They swing open with ponderous slowness, like any set of doors such as these damn well OUGHT to. And they creak magnificently-- with a tone bespeaking venerable history (and not merely a track record of poor maintenance)
[21:37]	Zeke	thinks this is the part where he's supposed to die by the end of the scene.
[21:37]	VeryNotLunarian	[The room beyond is ANOTHER long hall in a large, wide room. A throne room, or a royal court; those are the first impressions one usually gets. Unless one is a Gensokyan native, in which case one's first impression is oftentimes something more like "I would /kill/ for a storehouse this large." Or in some cases, "This is awfully good stonecutting for a cave."]
[21:38]	Zeke	is SO undergeared for this fight. At least there's a lot of open space to run around; the arena is forgiving of losers.
[21:39]	Zeke	takes off his backpack and offers it to Meiling, along with that stupid staff of his he can't bear to part with.
[21:40]	Zeke	"Is there a place I could store this? I feel kind of unprofessional hanging onto it. Sorry."
[21:40]	Meiling	nods.
[21:40]	Meiling	Sure.
[21:41]	Zeke	"Thank you, miss."
[21:41]	VeryNotLunarian	[Pennants line the walls but they're only partially visible-- candelabras lining the lush, gold-trimmed, deep-red carpet that goes down the center of the room. Oh, and I guess there's the MASSIVE AND NEEDLESSLY ELABORATE STAINED GLASS POTRAIT BEHIND THE THRONE-- throne? Oh, right. There's a throne. And a dais. And a girl who appears to have wandered in and plopped herself down into the chair.]
[21:41]	VeryNotLunarian	[Er, not chair. THRONE.]
[21:41]	Meiling	finds a nearby cabinet (or other storage device) and quickly tucks it away. Afterwards, she quietly takes up the back again.
[21:41]	VeryNotLunarian	[You can tell because it's black and red and forbidding and whatnot.]
[21:42]	VeryNotLunarian	[Gothic ironwork is well in abundance.]
[21:43]	Zeke	follows and does not lead as Sakuya brings him the length of the room. It's given him plenty of time to think of what he should say. Or time to stew in his own nervousness.
[21:44]	Meiling	follows the pair in silence. It's his audience.
[21:45]	VeryNotLunarian	brings him before the little girl, who, to her credit, is at least looking the part of an authority figure. And/or "the grossly rich and partially interested".
[21:45]	Zeke	is definitely impressed, to say the least. This is the first real example of over-the-top fantastical architecture he's seen since coming here. Most of the buildings in Gensokyo so far have actually been pretty lame, now that he thinks about it.
[21:47]	VeryNotLunarian	goes to stand next to the little girl on the c̶h̶a̶i̶r̶ THRONE, and adopts a sort of formal position of attention.
[21:47]	Zeke	beholds her true form and despairs. They just don't make 'em like they used to, apparently.
[21:47]	VeryNotLunarian	Mr. Ezekiel Pike -- Wanderer, Layabout, Moderately Paranoid, and Seeking Employment.
[21:47]	Meiling	takes the other side.
[21:47]	VeryNotLunarian	, having announced the newcomer, falls silent. It's the boss-lady's show, now.
[21:47]	Zeke	bows but does not take a knee. He waits for some indication to do anything else.
[21:49]	Pinkdresschan	"Employment? That's a weird objective for coming here."
[21:51]	Pinkdresschan	just lazes there on the throne. She rests her head on her hands, looking mildly interested at best. She wears pink, with a poofy hat and a red ribbon. She looks like your ordinary scandinavian/transylvanian brat with too much money, except that meaty, leathery black wings on her back. Her smile bears visible inhuman fangs.
[21:51]	Zeke	has been given an obscure statement that he may or may not be expected to answer! Oh no! What do?!
[21:53]	Zeke	"It's a short story with a long reason, ma'am."
[21:55]	Pinkdresschan	"I don't really care."
[21:55]	Pinkdresschan	handwaves it away.
[21:55]	Zeke	"I don't really expect you to. No offense meant."
[21:55]	Pinkdresschan	"It's probably not interesting. If it is, you would have told me now, seeing that I am very bored and am looking for something entertaining."
[21:55]	Pinkdresschan	"You should know at least that much, right?"
[21:56]	Zeke	raises from his bow; he's in danger of falling over otherwise.
[21:57]	Zeke	"I'm afraid I can't say I do. I've had a little trouble with getting fine details about the job openings here."
[21:57]	Pinkdresschan	"So why are you bringing him here, Sakuya?"
[21:59]	VeryNotLunarian	He claims to have managerial skills, Mistress. If he's worth hiring, he could be put to work testing my theory about supervised fairy workgroups.
[22:00]	Zeke	catches that "If he's worth hiring" quip. Great... ANOTHER interview.
[22:01]	Zeke	is getting quite sick of these.
[22:01]	VeryNotLunarian	As for why he's here, specifically? You told me in no uncertain terms that I was to bring all guests, visitors, potential challengers, suitors, and painters here before you so that you could "Impress them all properly and whatnot."
[22:01]	Pinkdresschan	"He doesn't look worthy to be impressed. He's, like, a common villager."
[22:01]	Pinkdresschan	"Except his weird sense of fashion."
[22:01]	Pinkdresschan	scoff.
[22:02]	Zeke	looks himself over.
[22:02]	Zeke	"I apologize for that; my dress clothes were burned."
[22:02]	VeryNotLunarian	He's only common on the Outside, Mistress.
[22:02]	VeryNotLunarian	laments her pun not being gotten by anyooooone.
[22:03]	Zeke	"Come as you are, as they say."
[22:03]	VeryNotLunarian	Outward appearances are not a full indication of true worth, Mistress.
[22:04]	Meiling	's stance beside Remilia falters as she lets her mind wander. Watching others' conversations doesn't do much to stave off boredom.
[22:04]	VeryNotLunarian	Consider yourself, for example.
[22:05]	VeryNotLunarian	Nobody who merely glanced upon you would be able to sufficiently comprehend your magnificence.
[22:05]	VeryNotLunarian	I blame the educational system.
[22:05]	Zeke	"I blame the media."
[22:05]	Zeke	can't help it.
[22:06]	Pinkdresschan	"Isn't that a given? Of course my magnificence shines like the light of the full moon."
[22:06]	Pinkdresschan	throws a sidelong glance at Zeke.
[22:06]	Pinkdresschan	"...Quick mouth, are you?"
[22:06]	Pinkdresschan	"Does that comes with quick wits, I wonder?"
[22:07]	Zeke	tilts his head side to side, not sure how to answer really.
[22:07]	Zeke	"Only sometimes."
[22:07]	Zeke	"I suppose a lot of it's Outside-specific, so it's not much good here."
[22:07]	Pinkdresschan	lazily gets up from the throne and now stands in front of Zeke. She's like half his height, but her presence is imposing.
[22:07]	Pinkdresschan	"Interesting. Interesting, this man is."
[22:08]	Pinkdresschan	"We can train him as my personal jester specialized in ironic jokes."
[22:08]	Zeke	has always hated being taller than his superiors. Which happens a lot when you're 6'4".
[22:08]	Zeke	wonders if he should crouch down or kneel or something. Would that be insulting?
[22:09]	Zeke	"I wouldn't say I'm THAT good, Miss. I have an odd sense of humor; even on the Outside many don't really get it."
[22:09]	Pinkdresschan	steps back a bit, taking a good long look at Zeke's features.
[22:10]	VeryNotLunarian	Is not Milady's own wit sufficiently dazzling and razor-sharp enough to entertain guests?
[22:10]	Pinkdresschan	"Well, I can't entertain myself. Come to think of it, I sort of can, but that would be weird."
[22:11]	Pinkdresschan	"-Outsider-, huh. I wonder what you see in him, Sakuya..."
[22:11]	Zeke	's brain goes there for about half a second.
[22:11]	Pinkdresschan	circles around him, examining.
[22:12]	Pinkdresschan	"He looks scary enough to keep those fey in check, at least."
[22:12]	Pinkdresschan	"Just do what you want with him. If he need lodging, one of the free storage rooms will do."
[22:12]	Pinkdresschan	"I wonder if he can cook some weird outsider's stuff..."
[22:15]	Zeke	"Ahh, umm... Not really. Sorry to disappoint."
[22:16]	Zeke	"I sort of subsist on hope and leftovers."
[22:18]	Zeke	"Well, and taco soup. I can make taco soup."
[22:19]	Zeke	scratches the back of his head. He's treating this less and less like an interview every second. And it's infinitely more fun.]
[22:20]	VeryNotLunarian	Perhaps we shall see. In the mean time, I would prefer that he perform useful tasks instead.
[22:21]	Pinkdresschan	"So what do you think he should do? Boss faeries around?"
[22:22]	Pinkdresschan	sits at the nearby table made of glass and steel. She then put her hands on the side, as if expecting something to fall into her grasp. Teacup, maybe?
[22:23]	VeryNotLunarian	In different words, but yes.
[22:23]	VeryNotLunarian	[And a teacup /does/ land in her hands.]
[22:24]	Zeke	"Quite different words, I'd say."
[22:24]	Pinkdresschan	take a sips. Le magnifique'.
[22:24]	Zeke	approaches the table but doesn't sit. He paces slightly, explaining.
[22:24]	Zeke	"I've been told fairies are a little, distractable, yes? Like children."
[22:25]	Zeke	"Well, unless you're their parents, they don't respond well to bossing in my experience."
[22:26]	VeryNotLunarian	A turn of phrase for expediency's sake, Mr. Pike.
[22:26]	Pinkdresschan	"Then again, they do respond well to bossing when they know that there's many replacement ready to take their place."
[22:27]	Zeke	"I know, I know, Miss Izayoi, but... words mean things."
[22:27]	VeryNotLunarian	...Milady is unparalleled at workplace relations handling, as always.
[22:28]	Zeke	smirks.
[22:28]	Zeke	"It works in America, at least. Or... well, it did. Long story."
[22:29]	Pinkdresschan	"America? sounds like an interesting place if my method are widely practiced."
[22:31]	Pinkdresschan	"Anyway, go and do what that needs to be done. Sakuya, you're in charge as usual. Meiling, do your thing."
[22:32]	Pinkdresschan	"Talk to her about payment or whatever. I'll call you when I see fit."
[22:32]	Pinkdresschan	waves her hand, signaling dismissal.
[22:33]	Zeke	"Thank you for you consideration, ma'am."
[22:33]	VeryNotLunarian	A stirring conclusion to this most stunning of meetings, Milady. You have my gratitude.
[22:33]	VeryNotLunarian	gestures from behind Remi for him to bow.
[22:33]	Meiling	snaps out of her thoughts and nods.
[22:34]	Zeke	gives Sakuya a sideways glance as he does so. You just dropped a few points, silvermaid: Zeke-Vision has "Suck-Up" stamped all over your face, now.
[22:35]	VeryNotLunarian	has been called worse things. If she knew, she would be able to deal with it.
[22:35]	Pinkdresschan	sometimes wonders if Sakuya's praises are sarcastic. Nah, that can't be.
[22:37]	Pinkdresschan	"Right. Hold."
[22:37]	Pinkdresschan	"I have not told you my name, have I?"
[22:37]	Zeke	is held mid-bow, AGAIN. Don't fall over, don't fall over...
[22:38]	VeryNotLunarian	is far too perfect and elegant to dabble in such lowly carts as that of sarcasm. Why, she'd no more stoop to such things than she would abuse her mind-numbingly powerful abilities to accomplish tasks in a subjective instant.
[22:40]	Zeke	"Ahh, your name? No, I don't believe you have, Miss Scarlet."
[22:40]	VeryNotLunarian	I believe it's only been mentioned a mere dozen times, Mistress. But perhaps you should say it again. You know how commoners are.
[22:41]	Pinkdresschan	"Yeah, I thought as much. They have to be reminded about the authorities all the time. Rebellions and whatnot."
[22:41]	Zeke	gets back up; she just crossed the line for the last time. The line must be drawn HEAH!
[22:41]	Zeke	"Okay, please, just, STOP."
[22:42]	Zeke	tells Sakuya.
[22:42]	Pinkdresschan	"?"
[22:42]	VeryNotLunarian	 ❚❚❚S∎T∎O∎P∎S❚❚❚
[22:46]	VeryNotLunarian	[Zeke is suddenly aware of the world looking very dark, dull, and lifeless. Except for the maid looking at him with irritation in her eyes. Not so much her voice. She is pressing a finger to his forehead... Not that the room was exactly bright and shiny, earlier.
[22:47]	Zeke	got caught with his pants down on that one. Time Mage. Dang, right...
[22:47]	VeryNotLunarian	Before you get all huffy again, answer my questions.
[22:48]	VeryNotLunarian	Do you want the job? Don't overthink that, just give me an honest answer.
[22:48]	Zeke	looks at her skeptically. The "World" trick has not altered his slight annoyance.
[22:49]	Zeke	"I want A job. You never gave me a choice as to which one."
[22:50]	Zeke	"I don't even know if I wa--"
[22:52]	VeryNotLunarian	Of course not. You're hopelessly unqualified for the better jobs here, and any scut work is easily done by a fairy. This is quite literally the BEST job available to you in this place.
[22:53]	Meiling	is caught off to the side frozen in a muffled yawn. It's slight, but still makes her look sillier than the situation warrants.
[22:54]	VeryNotLunarian	conceals her hnnngh
[22:55]	VeryNotLunarian	If you don't want it, then at any point before signing, tell me so, and I will see you safely to the village, where you may resume your travels.
[22:55]	Zeke	is glad that they're finally laying things on the table now, for once.
[22:55]	Zeke	lays this on the table:
[22:56]	Zeke	"If we're being honest here, do YOU want me to have the job?"
[22:56]	Zeke	puts his elbows on the proverbial table. BOTH OF THEM.
[22:56]	VeryNotLunarian	...Of course.
[22:56]	VeryNotLunarian	looks at him askance, like it was a really stupid question.
[22:57]	VeryNotLunarian	For instance:
[22:59]	VeryNotLunarian	You're either bright enough to have not knocked my finger away because you know it would remove your from my bubble,
[23:00]	VeryNotLunarian	Or you're smart enough to stay still and listen to authority.
[23:00]	Zeke	looks cross-eyed at the finger over his head.
[23:01]	VeryNotLunarian	Both are a promising sign, and depressingly uncommon for first-timers.
[23:01]	Zeke	"I'm poetic enough not to ruin a mood. Sorry to disappoint your expectations."
[23:02]	VeryNotLunarian	would normally throw in a saucy follow-up to that. Zeke does not seem like the type it would work well on.
[23:02]	VeryNotLunarian	raises an eyebrow.
[23:03]	Zeke	folds his arms across his chest. It is REALLY awkward trying to talk seriously like this...
[23:03]	VeryNotLunarian	That's an impulse you'll want to curb in Gensokyo, Mr. Pike. Not everyone appreciates drama.
[23:03]	VeryNotLunarian	...
[23:03]	VeryNotLunarian	looks back at Remilia.
[23:03]	Pinkdresschan	has an expression of 'are we there yeeeeeeeeeeeeeet' of the kid on field trip.
[23:03]	VeryNotLunarian	...then again, maybe you'll get along just fine.
[23:04]	Zeke	"Look, I'm not going to meet your expectations. I KNOW I'm not going to, so don't think I will."
[23:04]	Zeke	"I'm either going to be above them unexpectedly or tank them into oblivion."
[23:05]	Zeke	"I call things like I see them; that's all. That's what I do. I DEAL."
[23:06]	VeryNotLunarian	...
[23:06]	Zeke	"I'm smart enough not to make a big fuss over propriety for the most part, but..."
[23:06]	Zeke	rolls his eyes.
[23:06]	Zeke	"Well, obviously I have a limit or we wouldn't be having this conversation."
[23:06]	VeryNotLunarian	...You're adorable, you know that?
[23:07]	Zeke	sighs.
[23:07]	VeryNotLunarian	Anyway, I told you before we came in:
[23:07]	VeryNotLunarian	Expect to be toyed with.
[23:07]	Zeke	totally forgot that, actually.
[23:10]	VeryNotLunarian	Now try to appear unruffled, at least? You looked like a constipated child before I bubbled you. All that will do is make Remilia more likely to tease you.
[23:10]	VeryNotLunarian	We're on in five.
[23:10]	Zeke	sighs again. This woman...
[23:11]	VeryNotLunarian	straightens up, and holds up her hand, ticking off the seconds.
[23:11]	Zeke	counts in his head. Got to time it, to make it appear natural...
[23:11]	VeryNotLunarian	cuts him out at "two."
[23:24]	VeryNotLunarian	 [     S T A R T     ]
[23:25]	VeryNotLunarian	[When time resumes, Zeke feels something small, hard, and c o l d slither down his back, inside his shirt. TWO somethings.]
[23:25]	Zeke	is a little too focused on his own counting to notice the cut. It takes him those extra two seconds to--gah! WHAT?!
[23:26]	Zeke	winces and looks down, rubbing the bridge of his nose and trying to conceal his gritted teeth.
[23:26]	Pinkdresschan	"!?"
[23:26]	Pinkdresschan	is surprised a bit.
[23:26]	Pinkdresschan	"...on top of everything,"
[23:26]	Pinkdresschan	"Sakuya. Give him a medical check."
[23:27]	Zeke	waves her away.
[23:27]	Zeke	"No, no, I'm fine, it's just a little headache."
[23:28]	Zeke	tries not to clench his words dang those are COLD!
[23:28]	VeryNotLunarian	Of course, Mistress.
[23:28]	Meiling	almost jumps, surprised mid-yawn.
[23:28]	Meiling	eyes Sakuya.
[23:28]	VeryNotLunarian	winks, blows a kiss.  To Meiling.
[23:28]	Zeke	"I'm sorry for interrupting you there, but... look."
[23:29]	Zeke	looks at Remilia this time, not Sakuya.
[23:29]	VeryNotLunarian	Mr. Pike, LET US BE OFF.
[23:30]	Pinkdresschan	"Oh, when you are done with him, I'd like some apple pie."
[23:30]	VeryNotLunarian	[And so they vanish before Zeke can get his sorry ass Gungnired.]
[23:30]	Meiling	smiles and looks away.
[23:30]	Pinkdresschan	gets back to her iron throne, with teacup in hand.
[23:31]	Pinkdresschan	spins Gungnir in the air, bored.
[23:31]	VeryNotLunarian	[...A slice of apple pie appears on the little table next to the throne, elegantly placed on fine china, along with an elaborate fork. The usual.]
[23:31]	Pinkdresschan	"Want some, China?"
[23:33]	Meiling	glances at her hand, then addressing Remilia.
[23:34]	Meiling	I'm quite fine, thank you.
[23:34]	Meiling	I should be returning to the gate.
[23:38]	VeryNotLunarian	[Zeke's next sight is of the expansive, expensive, and well-furnished kitchen. The air smells of apple pie-- not coincidentally, a slice sits on a plate on the counter next to Zeke. It is still fresh, as evidenced by the little steam-swirlies.]
[23:39]	Zeke	"I don't care if you treat me--"
[23:40]	Zeke	has his hand raised in a cut-off explanation of something or other.
[23:40]	VeryNotLunarian	speaks from behind him, leaning against the same counter, mouth partly full.
[23:41]	VeryNotLunarian	E-oo ferioufly need 'ha learn ha watff 'at mouf, 'st'r Hike.
[23:41]	VeryNotLunarian	finishes her mouthful.
[23:42]	Zeke	clenches his outstretched hand and hides it behind his back as he spins around.
[23:43]	Zeke	is not cool, bro.
[23:43]	Zeke	"Apparently I won't need to learn, if you're going to stop me before I get to say anything."
[23:43]	Pinkdresschan	"Spoilsport."
[23:43]	Pinkdresschan	shoos Meiling away.
[23:43]	Pinkdresschan	is now busy trying to think of how to mess with Zeke. No time to poke Chinese woman in green dress!
[23:45]	Meiling	Farewell for now, mistress.
[23:45]	Meiling	bows and makes her way out.
[23:45]	Zeke	"Am I allowed to leave, for the moment?"
[23:46]	VeryNotLunarian	...The pie's pretty good. The chef here comes highly rated.
[23:47]	VeryNotLunarian	Try a slice.
[23:48]	Zeke	attempts the forbidden REJECTING A MAIDEN'S ADVANCES COMBO!
[23:48]	Zeke	"I'm fine, thanks."
[23:52]	VeryNotLunarian	shrugs.
[23:54]	VeryNotLunarian	finishes her pie. Her dish and fork appear in the drainboard.
[23:56]	VeryNotLunarian	Leave where, exactly?
[23:57]	Zeke	knows he's treading on thin ice, here, but at the moment he just wants to get away from this woman.
[23:58]	Meiling	strolls outside after passing and calming some fairies. Surely enough she finds a slice of pie and ice cream under one of the hedges near the gate, which she then proceeds to enjoy while daydreaming.
[23:58]	Zeke	"Well, I suppose the tour is done, so if you don't mind I'd like to consider the job offer while I check out a few other places in Gensokyo."
[00:00]	Zeke	"I hope I'm not offending the hostess by not accepting the job on the spot."
[00:01]	VeryNotLunarian	Of course not.
[00:02]	VeryNotLunarian	I can't blame you.
[00:02]	VeryNotLunarian	Where would you like to go?
[00:05]	Zeke	"Well, uhh, immediately? Back to the cupboard where Meiling dropped off my stuff."
[00:05]	Zeke	"I don't mind getting it myself, I mean... I know you're busy."
[00:06]	VeryNotLunarian	I meant where in Gensokyo?
[00:07]	Zeke	shrugs.
[00:07]	Zeke	"I've been making all this up as I've been going along, frankly."
[00:08]	Zeke	"I might just wander, for a change, see what comes up."
[00:11]	Zeke	sighs, and decides to bite the bullet.
[00:12]	Zeke	"Look, I know what you're trying to do, so please, just, don't. You're not the first person who's been teleporting me all over creation today."
[00:14]	Zeke	"Can I just be allowed to walk, please? I know it's a lame question, but I'm old-fashioned, I suppose."
[00:15]	VeryNotLunarian	...
[00:16]	VeryNotLunarian	Certainly.
[00:16]	VeryNotLunarian	Be polite to anyone you meet.
[00:17]	Zeke	nods.
[00:18]	Zeke	"I'll be sure to 'keep it real', as they say."
[00:18]	VeryNotLunarian	...I was not being mysterious or spooky for entertainment's sake when I said this mansion had its hazards, Mr. Pike.
[00:19]	Zeke	deadpans at her.
[00:19]	VeryNotLunarian	looks about as serious as you've seen her. Or maybe not so much serious as... worried?
[00:19]	Zeke	reciprocates the seriousness.
[00:20]	Zeke	"The first thing I met in this country tried to eat me alive."
[00:20]	Zeke	"It looked like my little sister, if I had one."
[00:20]	Zeke	knows that's not very impressive, but... Well, it's all he's got.
[00:21]	Zeke	"I'm not an idiot. People just think I am."
[00:22]	Zeke	doesn't wait for a response; he's been "allowed" to leave, after all.
[00:23]	VeryNotLunarian	knows that bluster-filled reply deserves any of a thousand rebuttals. She lets it go; he'll learn, soon enough
[00:25]	Zeke	tries VERY hard not to dwell on any of that, and just focuses on finding the entrance hall.
[00:27]	GM-Mizi	[in which he found, soon after.]
[00:29]	Zeke	looks at the doors to the outside. He then looks back to the double-doors leading to the throne room.
[00:30]	Zeke	"...I really, really hate myself right about now."
[00:30]	Zeke	heads back to the throne room, knowing full well it's a bad idea, though not exactly the WORST one.
[00:32]	Zeke	has no real trouble with the first pair, though the second pair... Well, at least he manages to squeeze it open. Eventually.
[00:35]	Remilia	"?"
[00:35]	Zeke	has zero idea from this distance if the Lady is even still there; it is a big room.
[00:35]	Zeke	"Excuse me?"
[00:36]	Zeke	tries not to shout, but... Okay, he shouts.
[00:36]	Remilia	is in the middle of the throne room, swinging her weird red lance around. As soon as Zeke comes in, she stops. The long lance disappears from her hand as she lands.
[00:36]	Remilia	"Why are you interrupting me during my private time? It better be worthy."
[00:36]	Zeke	swallows.
[00:37]	Zeke	"...It's not. Because I'm not."
[00:37]	Remilia	squints her eyes.
[00:37]	Zeke	"Look, I just want to lay my cards on the table, because she wouldn't let me before. Fair?"
[00:37]	Remilia	"...are you even right in the head? I thought I order Sakuya to have you checked."
[00:38]	Remilia	"And don't you come here trying to ask for -fair- in my house."
[00:38]	Remilia	grabs Zeke's collar and jerks it down, leveling him with her.  Wasn't she halfway across the room before.
[00:39]	Remilia	"I rule this place with an iron gauntlet. Everything goes as I want it to. If you want fair, you won't find it here."
[00:40]	Zeke	has his knees slammed onto the ground painfully. He expected this, but that speed...
[00:40]	Remilia	"But seeing that you have courage... or foolishness... I'll let you speak your mind."
[00:40]	Remilia	releases. Zeke falls on his bum.
[00:40]	Remilia	crosses her arms, full of authority.
[00:40]	Remilia	"Speak."
[00:41]	Zeke	shakes his head almost undetectably, though it's not because he's disagreeing with her.
[00:42]	Zeke	slows his breathing, making sure he can find the words.
[00:42]	Zeke	"...Thank you."
[00:42]	Zeke	"I needed that."
[00:45]	Zeke	"I just wanted to say... Well, if you're going to treat me like trash, treat me like trash."
[00:46]	Zeke	shrugs, unable to look her in the eyes. The head-shaking continues.
[00:46]	Remilia	"...I already am, so?
[00:46]	Zeke	"That's just it, though. You WEREN'T before."
[00:47]	Zeke	"None of you were. It was all nice faces and 'Very good, sir'."
[00:47]	Zeke	"And it's so... fake."
[00:48]	Remilia	pft.
[00:48]	Remilia	"Ahahahahahahahaha!!"
[00:48]	Remilia	starts laughing
[00:48]	Remilia	"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
[00:48]	Remilia	"You.... ahahah!--- You are interesting!"
[00:48]	Zeke	...did not expect that.
[00:49]	Remilia	"What are you, a masochist?! You don't like people being nice to you?"
[00:49]	Zeke	sighs. Out of the frying pan...
[00:49]	Zeke	"No, no no, I mean, I want to get what I DESERVE!"
[00:50]	Remilia	"Oh sure. Sure, sure---"
[00:50]	Remilia	punches Zeke in the face.
[00:51]	Zeke	is thrown against the doors he just entered. Ow-wait-what?!
[00:52]	Remilia	pushes him onto the ground, and gets on top of him. Her right fist has still got his blood from his nose splattered on it.
[00:52]	Remilia	"You know what you are?"
[00:52]	Remilia	punch.
[00:52]	Zeke	thinks he MAY have worded that poorly...
[00:53]	Remilia	"A dirty, useless human. So full of himself."
[00:53]	Remilia	punch.
[00:53]	Zeke	winces. These are actually hurting...!
[00:53]	Remilia	"You come here thinking that you are different?"
[00:54]	Remilia	"No.  You are the same. You're just from the Outside. You are still the same useless meatbag yet to prove himself worthy of anything."
[00:54]	Remilia	punch.
[00:54]	Zeke	tries to speak, but either her accusations or her FIST cut him off.
[00:54]	Remilia	"I keep Sakuya because she is loyal. Because she is worthy. because she is /good/."
[00:55]	Remilia	"You actually deserve nothing from this mansion. But Sakuya asked me to, so I at least let you prove yourself."
[00:55]	Remilia	"And here you are, flapping your mouth to me, asking for what you deserve?!"
[00:56]	Remilia	"If it's shit you want to be, then shit you are. But you better not be a /worthless shit/."
[00:56]	Zeke	is seriously having trouble breathing out of his nose now.
[00:56]	Remilia	gets off of Zeke.
[00:57]	Remilia	"Prove yourself to be worthy, and you will get what you deserve."
[00:57]	Remilia	"For now, you are living off of people's kindness. If you want to waste that, I will just kill you right here."
[00:58]	Zeke	crawls to a sitting position against the door, coughing as he tries to stem the bleeding from his nose.
[00:58]	Remilia	"Or get out of my sight and be /something/. Something that's worthy to talk to me on equal ground."
[00:58]	Remilia	shrugs.
[00:58]	Remilia	"...or a bit lower grounds than what you are now. All good."
[00:59]	Zeke	sniffles, realizes that the sniffling makes it hard to breathe, and gives up trying to look at all presentable.
[00:59]	Remilia	"So, what are you going to do now? Run away like a piece of shit you are, or prove me otherwise?"
[01:00]	Remilia	wipes her hand against Zeke's shirt. Damn commoner's blood.
[01:00]	Zeke	somehow finds it easier to look into Remilia's eyes now than he did before.
[01:01]	Zeke	"Bleashe, ma'am. Let meh earb whagt respekt Ib canb."
[01:02]	Zeke	smiles, though the smile is obscured mostly by his hand.
[01:02]	Zeke	"Hobnesty."
[01:03]	Zeke	"Dat's all I wanteb."
[01:03]	Remilia	chuckles.
[01:03]	Zeke	"Straight ansbwer."
[01:03]	Remilia	"Get up. You look like shit."
[01:03]	Remilia	extends her hand to him.
[01:03]	Remilia	"Not that you aren't, but you look as shit as ever."
[01:04]	Zeke	grabs it with his unbloodied hand. Or, less bloodied; it kind of splattered a little.
[01:04]	Remilia	gets back to crossing her arms.
[01:05]	Zeke	finds it less easy than he expected to get upright; even though Remilia is strong, she's still only four feet tall to his more than six.
[01:06]	Zeke	"Youb gknow, I'b glab to meet ah real vabpire for once."
[01:06]	Remilia	"Good thing it's not the full moon, or I'll have probably killed you outright."
[01:06]	Remilia	laughs.
[01:07]	Zeke	"Pwobubly."
[01:07]	Zeke	tries to laugh and just sort of chokes instead.
[01:07]	Remilia	"Anything else? Depending on your answer, I may need to deliver you another dose of pain."
[01:09]	Zeke	"Yeah. Don'b reab abby vabpire books wribben after abough 1995."
[01:09]	Zeke	"They get... lame."
[01:13]	Remilia	does not comprehend, so she decide to not give a fuck.
[01:13]	Remilia	"Sakuya."
[01:14]	VeryNotLunarian	Yes?
[01:14]	VeryNotLunarian	is there. Perhaps she's always been there. Waiting.
[01:14]	VeryNotLunarian	[IN THE SHADOWS OOOOOOOH SPOOKY]
[01:15]	Remilia	"Go treat him and stuff."
[01:15]	Remilia	"Oh, get him a butler outfit too. I want him in butler outfit."
[01:16]	Remilia	"And don't let him roam free like this again. Who knows what will happen to him. He might run into Flandre."
[01:16]	Remilia	"He's weird and interesting, so I want to keep him at hand, alive."
[01:16]	Zeke	cups his hand more to try and not drip on the carpet.
[01:17]	Zeke	"Dank youb."
[01:17]	VeryNotLunarian	[everythingturnedoutbetterthanexpected.jpg]
[01:17]	VeryNotLunarian	Indeed.
[01:18]	Zeke	[nothankstoyou.tga]
[01:18]	VeryNotLunarian	Although if this is any indication, maybe I'll forgo the leash entirely.
[01:19]	VeryNotLunarian	Forget on the job training, everything can just be one painful object lesson after another.
[01:19]	Remilia	"Don't. Let. Him. Leave."
[01:19]	Remilia	emphasizes this, word by word.
[01:20]	VeryNotLunarian	Of course, Mistress.
[01:20]	VeryNotLunarian	says, sickeningly sweet.
[01:21]	Zeke	winces.  The sweetness makes him sick.
[01:20]	Zeke	has to switch to the other hand; where do noses get all this blood from?
[01:20]	Remilia	shoos them both away.
[01:21]	Remilia	gets back to her Gungnir exercise like nothing happened.
[01:21]	VeryNotLunarian	hauls Zeke's ass out. No timeskipping.
[01:21]	Zeke	[YOU SIT UPON A THRONE OF LIES SILVER WOMAN!]
[01:21]	Remilia	[BUT I SIT ON THE IRON THRONE AND I WILL FRY YOUR ASS WITH DRAGONS.]
[01:22]	Zeke	[I WILL DIE A HAPPY MAN KNOWING THEY EXIST, THAT IS NOT A THREAT!]